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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4365. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>shaved my facial hair for the first time in 6 years
>look like my high school self but significantly more ragged, wrinkled and depressed
>remember when I used to be a little happier
>start to cry
>regret this decision.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
get fucked you disgusting neckbeard :)
Hahaha now you look like a faggot hahaha
this recent trend of testosterone lacking men keeping their disgusting shitty beards as a last ditch effort to show their age is really fucking gross

just fucking shave it's not hard


HOREEEEw dOREEEEes it feel knOREEEEEwing that mOREEEEst wOREEEEEman wOREEEEEuld rather fuck a cicada than yOREEEEu, rOREEEEbOREEEEts?
cicada cOREEEEck
>tfw nOREEEE cicada trap bf
17 posts and 12 images submitted.
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dumb cicadaposter
you didn't honestly think i'd let this brilliant thread die, did you?

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This girl used to post on /cgl/ and attend a con.

When people ask why we say girls on 4chan are sluts, here's your answer.
59 posts and 4 images submitted.
>tfw no slutty cosplayer fwb
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>we couldn't save her
Story of OP's pic? Only thing I can find is https://warosu.org/cgl/thread/9348942

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>mom is dating again
Fucking christ I'm so scared some prick is gonna move in and rip her away from me and try and throw me out. What the fuck should I do?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
moms like all women are whores who only want dick
You should probably get in a disguise and date your own mother to prevent her from dating no one else

>sitcom idea laddies
>puts on fake moustache and fedora
>ma'am ;)

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Currently in the process of trying to bait furries into buying me free vidya by pretending to be a gril, but now they want a timestamp from me and my hairy ass isn't easy to mistake for a girl's.

I'm willing to trade a fembot or femanaon 10 bucks to their paypal for a timestamp with their ass in the background, panties or no panties. No need to show any faces, just leave your paypal in the comment with the timestamp.

All the timestamp needs is the current date and the words "From Nel with love" written on it somewhere.

Thanks in advance fellow /c/atfishers.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
I've caught some. But I'm not a fan, catfish are the muslims of fish and bluegills are the niggers.
>implying there's something wrong with rounding up muslims and niggers and boiling them
Make it $15 OP.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Hb3D2JSxog found this guy's videos in my recommended. thoughts? is he the next supreme gentleman?
29 posts and 2 images submitted.
I feel bad for him

Who trolls him?
gogogoggogo gadget gooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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After putting effort into myself and not getting anywhere, state one reason why I shouldn't go back to being a fat lazy fuck and not caring anymore.
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
i struggle with this a lot anon i put in a lot of self effort to work on myself and it has gotten my nowhere so far. i wounder if it was even worth it to begin with in all honesty these days
So you can honestly tell yourself that you did everything you can. There is a certain peace to knowing you tried your best weather it works out or not.
I especially hate it when you see cunts thinking they're giving advice by saying "just work on yourself" or "love yourself", I've already tried, and then you just get told to be "patient" by the same people

Have you ever taken a bath with another boy? Did he have a bigger willy than you?
165 posts and 50 images submitted.
Nah he had a smaller one

but his one wasn't erect :^)
>Have you ever taken a bath with another boy? Did he have a bigger willy than you?

n-no but it would be fun to sit on top of a boy while he holds me against him with his thing against my butthole
>with his thing against my butthole

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>forty five thousand dollar student loan
24 posts and 6 images submitted.
>he doesn't have rich parents that pay for his college
>in 2k+17
top kek mate
In the same boat here brobo.

I'll probably have to postpone ANOTHER YEAR and work for those Deadliest Catch guys if I ever want to get out of my parents' house.
Hahaha you have lots of debt faggot, have fun paying it off hahaha

At what point is a penis too large?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
Is there such a point?
id say 10 inch for the avg woman and 13 for the avg faggot
Would a qt grill be willing to have sex with something that would be mostly pain instead of pleasure?

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Is weed a robot approved drug or not? I just started like last week and smoked twice, I don't know if acting like a retard is normal when on it or if I'm a retard.

>smoke up, get hungy
>go put a chicken fettuccine meal in the microwave
>have to concentrate really hard on the instructions
>also concentrate really hard on remembering the time and then entering it right
>after what feels like 5 days it pings and I have to stir it
>go back but my meal isn't in the microwave
>not sure if I'm so retarded I didn't put it in, or if someone is fucking with me
>start to get paranoid
>not sure if I should recook it or not
>if I do and it was in, it'll burn
>if I don't and it wasn't in, it might taste shitty or make me ill
>start to really fucking over complicate things

Can't remember what I did after that but I remember it being delicious.

Does that sound normal? I'm not sure if maybe I have underlying conditions that maybe I'll die if I keep smoking.
19 posts and 4 images submitted.
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You not being able to remember what happened is really worrying, it's a symptom of brain damage. You might want to stop smoking the devils lettuce before you become a vegetable.
Pussy can't handle his weed, I remember when my tolerance was that low
>die if i keep smoking
Whatever anon, i smoke for fun and happiness.
Sounds like youre not the kind of person to do drugs.

Should I get a massage today lads?

I have nothing better to do and I could use the relaxation
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>Should I get a massage today lads?
>I have nothing better to do and I could use the relaxation
Massage me pls
Do it.

>mom recommended a place that her and all her friends go to
>bodies a little fucked so good massages feels better than sex and make life bearable
>expected a legit shop but its just a thing she does outside her home
>entire time is gushing about her first male customer and the son of a client no less
>is actually really good
>awkward boner entire time though
>constantly comments on how i must be "enjoying" my massage
>entire leg massage i'm 99% sure she's purposefully rubbing my junk "on accident"
>ending is a hot towel on my face and relax while she's supposed to rub off the oil according to her
>not 30 seconds after i'm blind from a boiling towel i getting an unwarranted happy ending
>just kind of try and focus on not existing or tensing up and ruining the massage i just got
>switches gear to a blowjob
>tells me I don't even have to pay for it
>says consider it a favor to my mother for being a long time customer
>not sure if she means that my mother set this up or that she's just showing appreciation
>tells me it'll only cost me her regular fee just keep coming back and tell my friends
>cheapest massage i've found, nearby, and does non-sex happy endings for $20
I'd just do it and hope you get lucky.

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>first day at McDicks
>they expect me to do a bunch of work with no prior training
>speaker ear piece crushes ear
>standing on feet for 8 hrs
>can't communicate with co workers because all speak Spanish
>customers won't give you a break
>manager won't tell me my starting salary
>Chad customers constantly flirting with my at crew trainer so can't ask questions
How do people live like this?
81 posts and 17 images submitted.
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This is Life on Impossible Mode.
>tried working at Jack in the Crack
>Everything is going good so far, I just clean and work the register
>Start expecting me to cook during rush hour. >Haven't been trained to cook.
Shit was so stressful I quit.
> have not told you the starting pay ?
dude the average minimum wage in the united states is now 8.75

> be me
> feeling good today
> go to old computer store
> buy old desktop with 1.5GB of ram
> go home and hook everything up
> install windows 7 on system
> start playing old diablo 1 cd i also found at store
> then install an additional gb of ram now it has 2
> feels comfy messing with old computers
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
2GB are not comfy at all. you'd barely do anything with those anymore now
my goals is not to do anything intesive just browse 4chan and play really old 90's pc games i still have on my CD might upgrade the Ram later though
Just finished watching Terrace House, took the rest of codeine I had, I'm happy I didn't buy cocaine, I'm home alone and listening to Riff Raff
Pretty /comfy/

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Unlike short men, short women are not necessarily physically unattractive. So these inferior short genes are able to sneak their way into our sons, turning them into manlet laughingstocks.

How many potential 6' 6" chads have been ruined because the mother was 5' 2"?
75 posts and 11 images submitted.
>my cousins have a mother who's 5'1"
>one of them is 7'2", the other is 6'11"
opinion discarded
some tallfag is going to have a short girl/tiny ego/pedo fetish, therefore short girls will always exist.

the smaller the female, the more manly the tallfag feels.
I'm not even tall (5'10) but I love short girls. It's true, a 4'11 qt sweet latina with a phat booty is infinitely better than a 5'8 Stacy.

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