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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3450. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Well hello there....Sir....Just exploring the center if the Earth with a digging vehicle funded with your cuckbucks wagecuck. How is your marvelous day going? Did you enjoy being yelled out today when I made a fake complaint? Be ready tomorrow cause I will be causing mini earthquakes with my digging apparatus. The boss will make you clean up all the spills. After hours I will drill my way under your workplace and steal the money. Getting ready to be fired wagie. Make sure you find another job though.
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
this is such an original and worthwile post
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This is such an original and worthwhile reply.
nice one NEETbro

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You wake up and you're in "heaven"

If your post is even, it is normie heaven.
>Orgies, food, clouds,
>everything is white (ouch racial commentary) and golden.

Beautiful women, beautiful men are there, they are enjoying themselves. lofi 40's jazz plays constantly, Heaven is being famous. The ultimate bluepill, the lifegoal of most normies. There is little struggle and over time you realize you will become a hedonistic pleasure machine.
>Is this heaven or hell?

If your roll ends in odds it is your heaven

>your onceitis is there
>Chad becomes you and you become Chad.
No more broken feels, no more pain. Just the NEET life, but with all the creature comforts you desire. Life is pleasant, you are allmighty and you can reshape this world however you want.
>But you will eventually become Q.
Having lived forever you experienced everything, annoying "lesser beings" is the only thing that remotely interests your superior self

Post your thoughts on the matter,
or tell me I'm wrong, and talk about how you would live your amazing life.
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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all my effort, saged
Your thoughts on normie heaven?

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Simple question
47 posts and 6 images submitted.
all roasties should get shot
Yes silly goy but remember women are stronger than you
The whole protect/spoil/don't hit etc. thing applies to YOUR OWN women, not random mystery meat you encounter.

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>have nightmare last night
>a demon ate me alive
>i died as my eyes opened
>afraid to fall asleep again
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
I've killed the demon for you.
No need to thank me.
He's lying, but it would be a good idea to try to get to know the demon. If the demon is sentient, you can reason with it. If it's a figment of your imagination and hellbent on hurting you, you'll know it's a simple machination of the mind caused by mental issues pertaining to insecurities relevant to yourself.

Then you can just ignore it and learn to love being vored.
I killed it and I will kill you too you fucking demon sympathizer

you robots tell me the best ways to lose weight as fast as i can
i wanna lose around 25kg
i dont need the normal diet ways
there is some robots who did diet hacks please hellllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeee
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
I have to be loyal to my home country for reasons of international security.
there are no real hacks, just don't eat like a fucking pig, count your calories, that's the only way to keep the weight off
And I've gone all in. I've put my life on the line. If I die I want to make sure Donald trump and the republicans can function for at least 2 terms.

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Anybody else really perverted? I wanna story/discussion thread.

>desperate HKV, haven't left my house in years
>fapped in class before
>fapped to girls knocking on my door/in the hallway
>wish I had the guts to answer semi-hard
>seen girl showering with window wide open
>got so turned on I almost had a heart attack
>go me into voyeur so much I have a subscription on reallifecam
>find BSDM cute, feel happy when I see it

I have to go out tomorrow and I really wanna talk a girl into rubbing my dick in public. I'm so deprived I wouldn't mind if it were a drug addict or fat girl but I have zero social skills and I'm not Chad. I don't even talk to my parents.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
Hong Kong Virgin?
lurk more orimagino
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time to kill the normie

>tfw virgin Chad
>tfw 8.5/10.
>tfw 6'1" and ripped.
>tfw rich, and drive a Bmw convertible.

Still a 22 1/2 year old dateless KHHV that's been rejected multiple times. Even if you guys magically become a Chad like me you still wouldn't get a gf. I'm proof. Girls don't even want Chad anymore!
22 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>OP calling himself chad with that face
He looks like a raging autist.
You could put an advertisement on that 5head

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Why does she love huge black cocks so much?
17 posts and 6 images submitted.
nice shopping there. looks convincing enough.
>every white girl's dream christmas present
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Because only black cocks can fulfill her deepest desires. Tiny white dicks just won't do!

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Is now open
Come, order a drink, bitch about women trouble
Jukebox is now playing:
121 posts and 49 images submitted.
hi i will be the first and only poster in this thread because every time i post i instantly kill the thread, people are uncomfortable around me, lel

i guess im doing okay. about to take a midnight walk at 3:39am. walking really relaxes me and gives me different perspectives on my life and what im doing in it. i try to walk between 2am and 5am~ ish cause thats when the normies are at the lowest, not to mention no sun to further damage my skin because im trying to get on that korean skin tier shit

probably clean my room later, god tends to work with the clean more often, i think. "cleanliness is godliness" or something like that

barely eating anything until the last day of the month, cause thats when my bux comes. and i dont make fun of wageslaves although ill admit those threads are legit funny as fuck, im only on bux cause i break down in every job i have and cant support myself okay

might pray later. last couple of days ive been super depressed cause i think parasites have been leaving my body and rotting inside my body cause ive been taking anti-parasite cleanses
uh do you serve milk?

I'm going on a vacation late July with family and everyone is going to be up other people's asses and I'll be alone.
I just spent the last two hours watching videos posted on a webcam site by a 13 year old girl who has 30J cup bra size and 10/10 face and body. She actually had to be taken out of school because she was creating too much drama at school with her blistering hotness. Danielle Bregoli has -nothing- on this girl. She is literally in the top 10 sexiest females I've ever seen in my life, anywhere. Including all internet porn models and instagram. She looks a lot like a young Jessica Alba with boobs ten times the size.

But she's also still just a dumb kid and it really shows in most of the videos.

I don't know how to feel about this. I feel like I've seen something that only happens one in a million times. You hear about that one girl who had boobs as big as her head in middle school while she was skinny as a rail. Well, this is the girl.

No pics or videos. I'm taking no chances with spoiling it. But I felt like I had to share some way.

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>only been in one long term relationship ever
>both of us pretty mi, it was a bad unhealthy codependent thing
>but it made me really happy so whatever
>basically just best friends that hung out all the time and had sex whenever
>got orders to a new base across the country (im military)
>feeling v cocky since i lost my virginity (to her) thinking i could score pussy wherever
>broke up with her when i moved away, said i didnt want a ldr
>new location sucks, its the middle of nowhere and i cant meet anyone
>she started dating my best friend from the 5th grade
>its been over a year
>feeling depressed so i stalked her twitter
>talking about how her new relationship is so happy and healthy
>she had an abortion three weeks ago too

i just feel like turbo shit rn
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
You think the child might have been yours?
Mm think you deserve this one Fama lama ding dong. If your sad that she's happy you deserve to be sad.
>had an abortion
It's going to mentally break her for life

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Life is like being stuck in a shitty nature documentary.

It's all social peacocking and unspoken rules, revolving around banal mating rituals, and if you refuse to play along you're treated contemptuously, while even the most parastic and vile people are lauded as role models and celebrities because of their ability to align themselves to social convention.

I just want off this shitty ride
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
Me too Anon,me too.
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You described the situation perfectly. My problem is:
>if you kill yourself there is the chance you will be stuck in eternal torment/abyss
I seriously feel like I am in some type of hell for past transgressions and if I somehow escape I will just be put into an even worse and longer hell.
Learn to love the time spent with yourself anon.

Someday if you're lucky you'll meet someone with as much contempt for society as you have, and you'll get along swimmingly.

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>just ordered this bad boy for the summer
Is skateboarding going to get me any luck with the girls? I heard they love skaters. Also this shit looks really fun can't wait for it to deliver at my door in a couple days
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
Longboards are gay fag
Yeah man, I've noticed an increasing amount of grills longboarding. It's a great hobby I used to live for it. Skate or Die OP \m/
>Is skateboarding going to get me any luck with the girls?
That depends, what year is it and how old are you?

If you didn't answer

then no it won't help

What would you do if you caught your girlfriend cheating on you with a little boy?
34 posts and 14 images submitted.
Beat her into a coma and turn her in.
She better have a little sister
Depends if the boy has a nice or cute butt. Either way, one of the them is getting their ass fucked.

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u guys like my cool little friend? i call him the pickelhaube-goblin.
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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benis penis fuguman

gobbos are green not grey

I like him though
I like him quite a bit! is he a german soldier?

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Is skateboarding past age 18 lame?
25 posts and 4 images submitted.
>He had to ask
Is Tony hawk or rodney mullen lame?
Skating is a cool hobby. If you're an older guy that skates you should be doing it because you genuinely enjoy practicing tricks and riding around, not as some contrived fashion statement or to recapture your lost sense of youthfulness.

This applies to skatboarding at any age really.

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