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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 522. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

"Oh, Anon's here!"
"Why were you late to class, anon?"
19 posts and 7 images submitted.
>>
*turn around and go home*
>>
>>39407218
>awkwardly make my way to my seat and ignore everyone
>everyone stares at me and I start sweating profusely while wishing I was never born
>people then look away and start thinking I'm a weirdo
>start drawing fish and anime girls in my notebook and not pay attention in class
Ah, the good ol' days
>>
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>one time in hs
>show up halfway through first class of the day
>teacher asks if I have a note from home, I don't
>teacher asks if I went to the attendance office to sign in
>I didn't, so she sends me to the attendance office to get an attendance slip
>attendance office fills out the slip and asks if I have a not from home, again no
>there are two boxes on the slip the lady at the office can check off, one for a legitimate excuse and on for illegitimate
>lady uses a black ballpoint pen to strike a line through the illegitimate box and sends me back to class
>in the hallway I take out my own black ballpoint pen and put another strike through the illegitimate box, making it into an 'X'
>then I circle the legitimate excuse box
>back at class teacher reads the slip, and falls for thinking the attendance lady marked my lateness as legitimate
>"ok anon it looks like you had a note from home"
too easy

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>He imagines blasting his favorite song in front of group of girls while driving his dream car.
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>>39407175
Lol I already do this, minus the dream car. If I'm pulling into a place I know will have women, I crack my windows and blast whatever dark classical music I'm listening to. Or brutal death metal
>>
>>39407175
Already do this. Unironically it works enough for people to divert their attention to you but then they see the guy behind the wheel.
>>
>>39407196
>dark classical music
>brutal death metal
blast something good once in a while, faggot
this for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwePUfvymFQ

>one chance at life
>wasn't born as an asian girl
14 posts and 6 images submitted.
>>
thanks for the reminder faggot
i want to fucking die now
>>
>>39407173

i wish i was a femboy who was born in USA
>>
>>39407173
>trash everywhere

this is why i'm never visiting asia, these savages don't know how to take care of their fucking shit

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>want to kill myself and see what everyone's reaction is like
>know it's impossible because I'd be dead
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39406989
you can fake a suicide attempt
>>
>>39406989
Pull a Tom Sawyer, fake your death and show up at the funeral
>>
>>39406989
>"Stacey did you hear about anons death?"
>"yeah, he was such a nice guy in school and we always spoke"
>"lets tag ourselves in old school photos so we can reap some of the limelight"

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Hey there city slicker
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39406886
hey there clitty licker
>>
Hello Sneed
>>
>>39407023
That's actually Chuck

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Why don't you just pull yourselves together?

man up.

not everything is someone elses' fault.
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
this thread is your fault and the dick you sucked is also at least 30% your fault
>>
>>39406916
I'm trying to help you fsggots.

why won't you accept anyone's help?
>>
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How very reddit of you.

Also, fuck off.

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>ywn experience teenage love
>ywn be her first
>ywn fumble around in the dark
>ywn drive around her in your first car
>ywn fuck like rabbits
>ywn go swimming together
>ywn be her everything
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I first game to this board at the age of 15 when the girl you just described broke my heart, it's never as good as it seems
>>
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>>39406903
you are probably right, but i think it is better to have known than to have not know
then again i'm curious about a lot of things
>>
>>39406863
Adult love is a lot better when you get it right desu

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Daily reminder that this is what young white women in america really believe.
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>39406729
They literally all dream about black cock.
>>
>>39406729
A small, undesirable minority of them.
>>
Well, if you're so tired of them, I invite you to comve over to Galicia, in the area where I live (which is more rural than anything you'd hope to find in America) and befriend the almost technologically illiterate older people who live here.

I guarantee you, you'd be asking for the US in less than three months.

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How many times have you jerked off in a single day? Personally I'm sitting on a cool 11 times so far
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39406700
1/4th, fapping every day is draining my already low energy.
Also, don't your dick and prostate hurt after fapping so much?
>>
Most orgasms I've managed in 24 hours were probably around 18. Kinda lost count along the way.
>>
33 times. 12 times a day average
Now jerked off once past 3 days and my penis is in burning severe pain.

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>tfw handcuffed myself to the bed so I wouldn't be able to eat

No more games.
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39406683
How you gonna shit, fat boy?
>>
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>>39406683
+1 for the dedication fatty mcfatson
>>
>>39407315
Using a bucket and a hose

>tfw 80s music is objectively the best
Hearing a white guy sing without autotune, so good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3QHpUVjuK4
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>not 80s j-pop
gay
>>
>>39406579

should check out new retro wave on youtube
>>
>>39406579

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oGDlAd89KE

How do I know if this girl from an another town on tinder is actually interested in meeting me? Not the whole convo, but basically
>usual conversation starter-tier crap
>girl asks me about something I mentioned in my profile
>reply with "How about I come over there and show you? (suggestive emoji that I can't post here)"
>she replies with "We'll see. I'm actually coming to (my town) next week"
>just reply "I don't think I have any plans next week. Atleast it would give me a reason to clean my place good"
Would she even have mentioned going to my town if she was interested? How should I continue? Wait a day or two and ask her about on which day(s) she's gonna be in my town? The last message was around 24 hours ago, if that matters.

Yes, I consider /r9k/ my personal online dating coach/ghostwriter
Picture unrelated, I prefer to use ebay for my online shopping needs

also general tinder thread
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39406572
Normie here. Sounds fine. Did she reply to you after your last message? How long ago did you send it?
>>
>>39406604
She didn't reply to my last message. All the replies she sent (except for the last one she sent about her coming to my town) were sent almost immediately. How should I proceed?
>>
>>39407093
How long ago did you send that message? It's pretty important.

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Hi robots
I work in a bar almost all day everyday and I hear and see lots of stupid shit and I want to share some of this pieces of gold with you guys.
One of my favorites first:

>Two guys talking about God
>One of them gets mad because the other one talked about science
>Suddenly his mind reaches illumination and says: SCIENCE CANT EXPLAIN BYCICLES.

I'll continue and if you want to share some stories you are welcome.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I want to know more because i was offered a job as a waiter and i need something that motivates me to take it.
>>
>>39406547
Science can't actually explain for sure why bikes stay up right.
>>
>>39406547
Continue?


Oreganigger

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Just relaxing and having a cuppa coffee.
*sips*
You do know the rules, don't you?
*sllluuuuuurrrrrp*
8 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39406442
no talking until you've had your coffee or something?
>>
>>39406442
*ssssrrrrrrrrrrrp*
Ahh.~ Nothing like a cuppa Joe, huh anon?
>>
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>>39406468
That's right, boi.
>>39406474
*sips*
Hell yeah.

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"Wow, Anon. You're such a clever, funny, and interesting individual. If your co-workers and classmates took the time to get to know you and like I do they wouldn't hate you and constantly say things to you that make you want to off yourself."
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I want to matter. I want to no longer be ashamed of myself.
>>
Nah, I'm pretty average and boring.
Unless people are into specific things I also like we'd not get along well.
>>
>>39406328
99.9% of robots are not clever, funny or interesting though. There is a reason no one likes being around them.


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