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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4587. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

File: Portman1-768x512.jpg (303KB, 1612x1075px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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You guys are too immobile to live in a place like this.

>http://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/natalie-portman-purchases-montecito-estate
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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imagine all the insects getting in your furniture
>>
>>37531202
imagine all the bugs that come in every time you open the place up
>>
>>37531202
>the fucking moths

>2000 calories per day
>Lift weights 4 times per week for 45 mins (read /fit/ sticky)
>Stop looking at porn
>Shower daily
>Grow a beard if you can. If not, shave everyday.
>Buy a decent pair of jeans that fit, a few long sleeve shirts and some non-autist shoes.
>Do your fucking laundry
>Look at girls in the eye, don't break eye contact. Wait til they smile then return it.

With this regiment, you can be a Chad in 6 months or less. Relatively little effort too. You'll still have time for lurking.
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37531105
honestly i decided to follow 7/8 of these tips a few weeks ago and i'm feeling fucking great.
I still lurk here often and have no friends.
But my quailty of life has definitely improved.
>>
>>37531105
>Grow a beard if you can. If not, shave everyday.
On that note, is it worth switching to a wet shave from an electric razor?
>>
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>>37531105
>I do all of these
>have been doing it for 2 years
>tfw it makes no fucking difference

You can't fix what's already broken

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>go to preferred pornsite of choice
>screenshot the "recommended for you" tab
>post on /r9k/
>get judged
How'd I do, guys?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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fake

originalis
>>
>>37531080
>femdom

good choice my child

I like your tastes
>>
7/10
I detracted a couple points for the pegging stuff, but otherwise some solid taste in porn.

Also most of my porn sites don't have a recommended feature, there was one on pixiv but none of it was porn. it's a real shame too, I was looking forward to seeing what anons thought of my taste.

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>Have a nightmare about the old discord server where I met a lot of my friends being deleted
>Log into my old account right after waking up
>It's still there but it's really slow

It's a relief but I'm still kinda sad to see that there isn't a lot of posting and I still feel bad from the nightmare. Please help me calm down /r9k/
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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ill be ur friend whats your skype
>>
>>37531101
I'm sorry I'm scared of having any more friends so I can't do that right now and I don't have Skype but thank you very much
>>
>>37531123
why are you scared originananana

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I want to hate women but then I think about all the fembots whose life is in shambles and just want a partner too and feel a deep empathy.

Then I hate women again because these don't really exist
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>feel a deep empathy
gtfo off my board normie
>>
>>37531029
>fembots whose life is in shambles
You mean their upper middle class lives that are so boring they resort to coming here for entertainment? Their oh-so-terrible lives full of love, casual sex affirmative action?
>>
>>37531206
>>37531251
read the punchline guys jesus

but yeah I met someone online recently who I feel is truly a robot, but for whatever reason they seem to have no interest in becoming closer, which really tells me they have no need, no real loneliness which makes them leap and any opportunity or feeling of special connection with someone who can understand them.

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Why don't you just fix your appearance lads?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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it's more difficult than it sounds
>>
i'm actually planning on it. nosejob and fat transfer
>>
If you have $50,000 to spare op, I will get right on it
>rhinoplasty
>double orthgnathic surgery
>genioplasty
>otoplasty
>gyno removal
I'll give you my paypal and we can get the process started

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>tfw roasties are literally subhuman

Feels good being male
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37530565
>>tfw roasties are literally subhuman
>Feels good being male
Bump
>>
>>37530565
feels good being a roastie and doing literally nothing to get sex
>>
>>37532005
>being penetrated by a penis
Faggot

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post interesting shit like this if you have it
7 posts and 6 images submitted.
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or like this

orvirginal
>>
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anyone at allllll?
>>
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Man I almost forgot to tell you all how original this green text is

Also it has a sexy ayy lmao

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If I get officially diagnosed with autism, will it affect my chances of getting a decent job?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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lets just say your chances were never good and now you know why
>>
>>37530248
You don't have to disclose that you have autism on a job application, except for some military jobs.
>>
No, jobs don't get to see your medical records

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>change search settings so it only shows results from 2002 to 2010
>eliminate 90% of the stress from my life
why did i never think of this?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37529948
wat mean jy?
>>
>>37529948
i don't get what you're talking about
>>
>>37529948
What? That makes no sense. Please explain

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>Brother has his girlfriend over
>Confined to my room
>Threw out all my bottles
>Unironically pissed into an empty can
How's your night going /r9k/?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Come on, somebody's gotta know this feel
>>
I don't get it. Why do you care? You should have frightened her or bothered them
>>
>>37529855
You need to move out of your parents house.

>can't sleep again

I refuse to drink or use sleeping pills so I guess I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life.

On a side note, I think I'm hearing birds chirping right now. Almost 1 in the morning. Am I going insane?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Nah birds are getting weird, I used to know I'd stayed up too late if I heard them when I went to bed.

That used to be at 4am, then 3, now it's earlier.
Shit's weird
>>
Asmr my dude. Or use ear buds and listen to music.
>>
>>37529807
glad to hear somebody is too stupid to figure out sleeping. must be a simple life.

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>smoke weed everyday
>smoke when I wake up and smoke before I go to sleep
>actually feel good when I'm high
>don't have any more weed and can't get any
>feel like total shit after not being able to smoke for three days.

How do I deal with being sober bots? I don't want to feel like shit while I'm sober. What are some distractions?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37529729
I'm going crazy trying to get ahold of some hash. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should quit though.
>>
It's called withdrawal anon. You're addicted.
>>
I like to walk around thinking to myself about how great it is to not be a worthless degenerate.

Maybe try that. Its pretty easy, all you have to do is not be degenerate.

>dudeweedlmao its not addicting man

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>Writing
>Write a word and it looks terrible
>Erase it and try again
>Still looks horrible
>Repeat 5 times
>Still looks horrendous
>Why even bother
10 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>37529528
>paper where you messed up is now covered in eraser marks and crinkled marks
>>
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>>37529558
>Erase a huge section from my page
>Didn't hold the paper tight enough
>Eraser ripped the paper
>>
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>Have to constantly erase mistakes
>Table is covered in pieces of eraser
>People can see the desperation, stupidity and struggle from the mess alone
>The used pens and didn't bring whiteout

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What will /r9k/ look like one year from now?
8 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>37529456
you think this isn't the same ride with a different color paint job. thats funny.
>>
>>37529456
100% gay instad of just being 79% gay.
>>
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>>37529479
just in case you missed the idea. we have done this before and we will do it again. >>37529456


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