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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1184. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>parents risked their lives to escape from a communist asian country and move to a western country to raise a family
>sisters have many suitors due to being smol and not hideous
>i become a robot failure with mental problems from lack of positive female attention
i hope world war 3 happens soon
32 posts and 7 images submitted.
Same old story, the same thing has happened countless times in immigrant families/communities. Sons are outcasts and have to struggle for anything while daughters fit in and have an easy life anywhere they go. In ancient times when armies conquered peoples they killed all the men and took all the women. Nothing new today, there's just no mercy of death for us.
Quite the opposite.

>live with aunt
>she's abusive
>especially cruel to my sister and female cousins

I can't really tell if my sister got it worst because she was uppity or because she was a woman. I know my aunt was seriously jealous of her relationship with my uncle, intimidated by my sister's looks, etc.

>in car with aunt, sis, cousins
>aunt cheated on uncle
>aunt bitching about slutty coworker screwing around behind husband's back
>sister: "You're one to talk, you fucking whore."
>aunt pulls over car
>"Get out."
>they do
>"Say that again."
>I mouth "don't" at sister
>aunt grabs sister by ponytail
>starts bashing her face in the wind shield
>small spider web starts in glass
>pulls her away
>"What do you have to say?"
>"That all you got?"
>sister spits on aunt's blouse
>gets kicked over and over again

Worst I got was a knife pulled on me and a few slaps.
My younger sister is bisexual and one time when I was walking downtown by myself I saw her holding hands with a girl. Meanwhile, I am a KHV loser who has never done anything of the sort. Porn just makes me incredibly depressed nowadays and so does masturbation, so I stopped doing both but I still feel like shit for not being able to get a girlfriend or sex yet.

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Get back into the habit of including the previous edition edition

527 posts and 117 images submitted.
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thanks for the thread lad

reposting big effort post desu...
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and britfeel hasn't?

We've had the leeds meetup etc, we have far more banter, far better memes, far better lore, far fewer tripfags. I don't hate /pol/, but brit/pol/ is cancer.

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>Sex is a thing people have
>When you walk around the street, most of the people you see have had sex, even the highschoolers
Does this blow anyone else's mind whenever they remember this?
29 posts and 5 images submitted.
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It blew my mind to realize today that every person you see exists because someone fucked
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I know this exact feeling. It seems so insane that people do something like that on a regular basis. If anybody knew I was a virgin I know they'd start treating me like an innocent little kid, too. It's happened before, people doing baby talk to me and saying VIRGIN! in a loud voice and grinning. That was when I was 19, so I can't even fucking imagine how bad it would be now.
Whatever, I lost my one and only chance to experience it when I broke my dick 10 months ago.
artificial insemination

Been running out of shows to watch, and heard good things about Mr. Robot but the bootleg anon mask in the show makes me want to cringe. Is it trash or not, fellow robots?
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
Yeah, I enjoyed watching it
Started out good but it slowly turned into garbage.
I don't think I've ever seen such a one-season-wonder in my entire life.

It will turn from gold to shit right in front of your eyes.

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What do you think of this little painting I did?
23 posts and 4 images submitted.
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here's another one that I did
these are genuinely wonderful, I really like the second one. very melancholy style
These are beautiful. I can see your pain in them.

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did anyone else as a kid used to have really intense nightmares about things in their room feeling too small or too big?

please tell me someone knows what I mean

I used to have this really scary recurring nightmare where I would focus on a corner of my room or some object in my room and it would just slowly and really intensely get bigger or get smaller and it scared the shit out of me so bad I would wake up crying
22 posts and 6 images submitted.
Had a similar sort of dream/nightmare as a kid.

I would be seated on an empty plane (middle seat, aisle) and the aisles would stretch endlessly. I would never wake up crying, but I would always wake up in a cold sweat
I know that sometimes, if I wasn't feeling good, I'd lie awake in my bed and suddenly I'd get an excruciating sense of perspective. It was horrifying, like if the walls of the bedroom fell off and suddenly you were confronted with the pure hopelessness of the void, except you could still see everything. Just typing this now is making me short of breath a little.
I remember having breakdowns thinking about that sort of thing. No fun, man.

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Is "lifting"even worth the time and effort?
>2 hours a day (includes warmup, communte to gym shower etc)
>countless hours preparing healthy high calorie meals
>take longer eating
>have to sleep more
162 posts and 32 images submitted.
>unlock your inner chad
>make normies jealous
>become good at something
>E N D O R P H I N S
Since I quit WoW in 2010 I've had nothing else to fill my time with besides lifting.
you dont do it every day you do it 3 days a week because your body needs to recover strength in days between workouts. 4 days if you can handle it. the diet is the most annoying part because youre constantly counting calories

You ever just been in bed and sharply wake up as you realize you're swallowing a spider?

I felt it somewhere behind my adam's apple, and for a sec I made like an alligator trying to see if it would crawl it's way out. Got creeped out too quick though and figured it was past the point of no return anyway, so I went to the kitchen.

Fastswallowing water repeatedly, it had lost some ground but was clutching on, and I was out of patience. Almonds, yogurt, bread, salami, anything, I was just shoving it all down my throat to bomb the little alien. I could seriously feel it just above my stomach, trying to prolong its entrance into the opening act of the literal shitshow.

At this point the sensation went from uncomfortable to mildly painful in the form of a small sting, which I imagined it to be biting me. I realized its pain; stumbling into the absolute wrong place, being mercilessly battered in a wet tunnel of hell before being melted alive in a pool of acid, crying out against god, biting into the walls of this hell in futile rebellion.

Now I understand what tetsuo must have felt like. Fuck I should watch that sometime soon
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
That's fucking awesome. Reminds me that I should try to wear my CPAP mask all the way through the night, but it's just damn uncomfortable

I only just heard Free Bird all the way through like two days ago and it was cool as hell, been on repeat since. It's funny, if it weren't for Family Guy doing that Kingsman scene I wouldn't have felt the urge to.

I also started playing guitar, which wasn't really related at all but I thought was neat. Johnny Cash's Hurt is actually really simple to play, but I can't switch to that damn D chord quick enough.
ditch the guitar, buy this

Hey /r9k/... I come to you with a really awkward situation... So I'm in a relationship with a guy. He's really sweet guy, met him online. We've moved in after three years. Things are good. 1 year later things get... sketch.

We've got a little housewife-husband thing going on, me being the housewife. I didn't do some things I agreed too and he started calling me lots of names. Fast forward another few months and he starts to hit me. I don't fight back, I just let him do it.

But the thing is... I'm not mad at him. In fact I feel like I deserve it. I have really bad self esteem issues I guess. And because of that I feel him hitting me is a way for me to repent because I'm so bad. He hits me whenever he wants to now. I'm covered in bruises. But for some reason I feel like this is penance. Like this is making up for things I'm not proud of.

I don't know... I just need to vent.
36 posts and 8 images submitted.
Hmm Are you even allowed here anymore?

Ask Reddit. What do we know about relationships.
Do you get any sort of sexual satisfaction from being beaten?
No one here cares if you want (yous) go to reddit and you will get a bunch of "U DIDDIN DO NUFFINS" "YOU DONT NEED NO MAN"

sage in all fields black eye roast-ey

>be me, redecorating my nana's back patio
>hoarding runs in the family
>literally spent entire day smoking pot with her and movin shit
>her back starts hurting
>she goes inside to grab some pills
>comes out and hands me a pink pill
>oh this is an oxy
>feel like a million bucks
>anxiety disappears
>feel like I'm on a cloud
>but I'm real itchy all over
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
>she wants to take a break
>feel so good, I decide to take her dog for the walk
>her boyfriend was out of town, so no-one has been able to give her a walk
>big pitbull, eats like a king, and super aggressive towards other dogs
>has literally jumped my grammy's fence, to chase down a stray
>literally ate the fucking dog
>so I'm walking right, she's just pulling me along
>stumble across other dog walkers
>bitch starts pulling
>and I'm high as fuck, felt like I was walking on clouds I was so damn high
>luckily she has a collar that chokes the dog if it pulls too hard
>get home, get paid in oxys and a soma pill
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>pop all the pills at same time
>smoke a bowl
>figure jerking off would feel great under opiate sedation
>end up on r9k
I've spent over 30 minutes writing these 3 posts lmfao this shit is so wonderful
I feel so amazing, and I'm getting some nice CEVs
Congrats, you approaching a slippery slope.

Fucking moron, seriously.

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>tfw you'll never do this not even once in your miserable life
30 posts and 4 images submitted.
so you're assuming i'm a man? ~ruth
I could just go to a brothel if I was that desperate but I'm not since I'm an asexual.
Actually you'll never not do that, because 99% of people have sex and 99% of people who have had sex have more sex.

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Cute gay couple edition. Post your gay related content here!

Have fun
14 posts and 5 images submitted.

wrong board, L A D
gay people are doomed because the government created diseases that will kill them overtime. Watch the space ~demarai
tfw no 2/10 - 4/10 NEET bf to get drunk and watch movies or play video games with.

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What percent of autistic people are lifelong virgins?
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Bhoose one, Nibba
>ironic emojis

holy fuck UNDERAGE
This image is me as fuck

Literally made an account on POF 2 days ago. Messaged maybe 8 girls, already have a date lined up for tomorrow night.
What's your fucking excuse robots?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.

People have no excuse:

>Be me, mid 30s geek. Just started working out, but still roundish.
>Make profile, talk about geek stuff, talk about lifting. Show lots of pictures.
>Day 1 and 2, hit "like" on every profile. Not even looking at them.
>End of Day 2 and into Day 3, matches and messages start pouring in. Buy a bluetooth keyboard because my thumbs are getting sore texting.
>Last night, get message from qt chubster geek chick. Chat for an hour, then invite her out for a drink. Totally a throw away invite, I have no idea what I'm doing.
>Holy shit she accepts. Okay, gotta pretend I know what a guy does in a bar.
>Get there, have a drink, lots of geek talk.
>Go for a walk after the bar, grab a bench, make out.
>Lots of touching, feelsgoodman.
>Put my hand on her neck. "Mmmmm"
>Squeeze my hand. "MMMMMM"
>Turns out the chubster geek chick is a freaky sub slut.
>Get back to mine.
>Bang twice last night.
>Wake up this morning hard as a rock.
>She takes care of that.
>Send her home, promise to meet up more.
>be me
>ugly skelly
>zero confidence
>little motivation to go after girls
>settle for vidya and pr0n
good for you, unless you find the 1 in a 1000 perfect girl for you women are just a waste of time and money. People here idolize relationships because it looks cute and fun in their animes in the real world unless you find the love of your life they're very tiresome and get old quickly

You have literally 10 seconds to prove this cloud dweller nigga is real

>inb4 hurr I don't have to bcuz I know he's always standing near my toilet watching me taking a shit while being completely invisible
23 posts and 7 images submitted.
You're thinking of God. There is no doubt that Jesus existed.
Sit down faggot, there's a lot of doubt that Jesus existed. The fact that nearly every part of his "history" is identifiably similar to creation myths for other gods in the same time and place kind of makes it a little doubtful.
>There is no doubt that Jesus existed
yes, there is no doubt that Sam existed either. Pretty sure some family named their kid Sam once.

what a profound belief, friendo

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