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>mom keeps telling me to have some breakfast
>she knows i never eat before a mission because i want to be light on my feet
REEEEEE FUCK OFF BITCH
24 Posts / 3 Images
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>be me 28yo 300 pound waddle
>wake up at the break of noon to mommies breakfast calls.
>fucking bitch knows I don't eat before a mission
>commence mission
.....
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>>36517688
>lift fat rolls off my legs and heave my fatty sweaty cum stained mess of a body to the side of the bed.
>use what little muscle fat I have in my legs to lift my moist ass from the bed
>equip fedora
>oil katana
>I can't be stopped.
>begin plonking one foot in front of the other.
>I'm glad I skipped mommy's breakfast, I'm surprisingly light on my feet.
>4 steps in now
.......
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>>36517332
What about tendies anon?
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How did Sniffjizzer's tale end? Did anyone catch it? Did it end at all?
6 Posts / 2 Images
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bumpitybumbidump
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>>36517315
check the archives for gods sake.
Ctrl+F sniffjizzer
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That story made me want to smell the scent of a woman so fucking badly.
Its been so long.
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Who would win in a fight, Chad or Tyrone?
21 Posts / 3 Images
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1 on 1, Chad. If Tyrone can bring a group he will win.
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Both are of similar size and strength.
Tyrone is from the ghetto, Chad is from the sub-urb. Tyrone has had to fight since he was a kid, Chad has always gone by just on looks.
Tyrone wins easily.
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Whoever walks away first wins.
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Would it be possible to masturbate to death if you have very short cooldowns between orgasms?
21 Posts / 6 Images
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>>36517275
The best you can do is probably die from a stroke. No pun intended
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>>36517306
>No pun intended
but it's a good pun
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>>36517275
If you masturbate enough times in quick succession it could put enough strain on your heart to cause a heart attack. There are a couple of people who have died that way.
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I'm sitting directly across from a qt at the coffee shop what the hell do I do???
I sat down at a table by the corner and she sat at the table right next to mine facing directly toward me
30 Posts / 1 Images
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>>36517267
>what the hell do I do???
Get up and leave
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>>36517278
Why would you say this to me I don't understand
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IT DOESNT MATTER JUST DO IT LOUDLY BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK AT LEAST SHE WILL HEAR IT
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What does auStistic even mean?
27 Posts / 12 Images
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>>36517215
It means you're a faggot.HolyshitisthiscommentoriginalOriganino
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tfw not autismo feelsgoodman
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I got 15, fucking autists
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How would you survive in a world ruled by women?
22 Posts / 7 Images
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>>36517207
I wouldn't since they couldn't successfully run it past a year before nuking the human race to extinction
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>men have to stay home to cook and clean while women are working
>when the women comes home she gives the men a good hard fuck before drinking beer and falling asleep watching tv
h-haha thats sounds awful h-heh-ehe
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>>36517207
its already the state of the world and the answer is you dont survive it
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DANK edition!
519 Posts / 79 Images
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im drunk af lads
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Post your plates lads!
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>>36517115
I intend to be once im off work, cheers
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Who else here is /suffering/?
Ache, pain, illness, cut, severe throbbing sensation behind your eyes? Post about it here!
16 Posts / 1 Images
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>tfw mild headache
>seborrheic dermatitis acting up on upper lip again
>congested
Doesn't feel good, dude.
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>>36516920
Ever get that feeling when you don't know whether you want to cum or take a shit?
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>eat 2 fucking chocolate bar
>drink a whole coffee's bottle
>heartburn all night
JUST
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Who here is a serial job ditcher? I've just ditched my seventh or eight job after two hours of work on the first day. If they want me to break my back unloading trucks and getting all sweaty and exhausted they better God damn we'll pay me more than minimum wage or I'm not fucking doing it. Why would anyone do that unless the alternative was literally being out on the streets? It's not like I have a wife or kids to support.
Anyone else? The longest I've held a job was about ten months. I walked out after a promotion because my girlfriend left me in the middle of my shift and I was so depressed and demoralized that I couldn't finish the day.
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>>36516826
That last line ruined it, what a whiny pussy
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>>36516826
Are u literally me op
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>>36516826
Companies don't respect their workers, don't respect them. Especially for anything that pays under $20/hr. Because if it pays that little, you can't make a career out of it.
Good for you, OP.
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OK virgin, today were gonna have an anatomy class, do you know what this is?
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A finger
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>>36516763
Ham wallet
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Wizard's sleeve.
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why do people in america reject ugly and lonely guys
i would be nice with them because i know they can get guns easily
7 Posts / 2 Images
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Elliot was not ugly.
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>that haircut
Why do some people think that doesn't look anything but shitty?
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>>36517410
That haircut looks kind of cool actually
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What's your opinion on twerking?
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>>36516666
Ape like behavior
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>>36516678
>>36516666
White girls do this shit...
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>>36516694
Because their impressionable minds adopted it from nigger culture promoted by the jews
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Interview tomorrow. Here goes nothing.
7 Posts / 3 Images
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I'm cheering for you anon-kun
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>>36516647
you can do it. good luck, faggot
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>>36516647
Can I see you CV, M.Pepe ?
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Why exactly do women do this?
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>>36516618
http://metro.co.uk/2017/04/08/an-arrogant-travellers-stinky-feet-caused-outrage-on-a-packed-bus-in-thailand-when-she-refused-to-take-them-down-from-her-neighbours-headrest-6561581/
How does this make you feel?
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>>36516643
When women do this to me I start rocking my seat back and forth violently. If they don't take the hint I start slapping their lags violently until they remove them. If that doesn't work I move to the seat directly behind them and place my feet on their head. Then say how does it feel, cunt!
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>>36516723
You sound like a horribIe person