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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 123. page

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File: chadmode.png (450KB, 372x539px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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believe it or not this is the same person
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Oh nice dude, if only I had weight to lose to reveal that handsome and beautiful face like he did (:
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It sucks when you're already thin and still ugly.
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>>39600923
this
i'm not fat, but am still uglier than the left version of him

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How many women has your penis been inside of, robot? 34 here, although 3 of those girls were boys.
35 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>39600899
le get out of my virgin board ree XD
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are you bi? how do you just randomly fuck 3 boys
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>>39600899
Only two, but I've been inside both of them on a regular basis for many years now.

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>Be young pre-teen when first discovered 4chan
>Been on 4chan till I was 22
>"LOL" at the whole NEET thing
>Suddenly become the NEET
Every other day was the "I was gonna better myself day" then it just kept going on and on
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39600897
Don't plan to plan, plan to act.
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>>39600907
Please tell me what that means
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>>39600940
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0YTk_tmubE
You can't get better just by saying, "I should do things to be better." You have to decide on discrete, countable steps to the things that you want, while mapping its problems, potential solutions, and further ramifications leading to more problems, solutions, ramifications, etc. until the goal is reached.

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Something weird is happening
My skins been feeling smoother and I've been getting the urge to cross dress and wear makeup
Guy I think it's happening
My boipussy is ovulating
32 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>39600818
you're a disgusting faggot and no one cares, I hope pence puts you on a roller coaster that leads into a gas oven
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Faggots deserve death in the most painful and unenjoyable ways possible. Their suffering will be legendary.
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>skinny fat but recently developing gyno
>can feel them weighing down on my chest despite being tiny
>mfw feel more complete cause of stupid fucking AGP

File: tinder.png (93KB, 1200x1200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>use tinder
>get maybe a few matches per week
>occasional fuckdate
>get Tinder plus
>put my location into moscow
>activate a boost
>30 minutes
>40 new matches

is it so easy to get girls to like you when you go abroad or do russians just have a thing for westerners?
13 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>match with a 19 year old student. (I'm 26)
> She's like 6.5/10
Chat with her for while
>"I like to think I'm kinky"
oh really? Turn out shes really submissive and into spanking and humiliation.
Few texts later shes fucking masturbating to some scenario I texted her
>"Oh anon, fuck me"
shiiit. I mean, I'm pretty good at this shit but this was easy.

Few days later travel to next city to see her. Have a few drinks together. She's definitely got self esteem issues. This is gonna be easy.

We make out and start walking back to her place. No ones around, pull her into alley and start fingering her. She's loving it.
Back at her place she pulls out a bottle of Jack. Lol, cool. She goes to her drawer
>"so...I have these..."
Pulls out a huge butt plug and expensive looking dildo. I proceed to fuck her in every orifice with various combinations of the toys.

I've always wanked with a death grip since I was a teen so I can't come from sex. Up side is I can fuck for hours. We fuck on and off. She occasionally cries. Then immediately cheers up and fucks me. Spank her over my knee call her a whore etc. At one point we go to sleep and she wakes me up to continue.

We're lying there, she pulls out the but plug and pulls it up to her face. Looks me straight in the eye and starts fucking licking it.
>Both the most disgusting and hottest thing I've ever seen.

Proceed to fuck her in the ass some more.
>"Break me anon I want to die"

I pull out and wank off onto her face
>"This is the hottest thing I'ver seen".

She swallows my cum. Licks the fucking ass off my dick.

Next day I get on the train home. She could barely walk. She calls me in a panic, her pussy is bleeding. Not period bleeding, but bleeding bleeding.

>She goes to the fucking doctor, emergency appointment.

Turns out the pill shes on can weaken cells in the vagina, makes small tears more likely.

I only saw her once again after that. She was mental and used to call me up about how she was going to kill herself.
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>>39601035
duuude thats kinda fucked, jesus christ

>match a girl on Tinder
>be upfront about looking for a FWB
>she is down, want to go for drinks on the weekend and see where it goes
>ask her what she is doing on a rainy wednesday
>"I'm studying anon but I'm not concentrated enough to learn"
>invite her over for netflix and chill since she could obviously spend her time better
>"Oh I'm going to take a shower and then I'll decide ;)"
>takes the bus, is at my place after half an hour
>ask her whether she wants a beer but she is on anti-biotics
>watch some family guy, start making out after 40 minutes, try to go under her clothes
>"Oh anon we can't have sex today since I'm on anti-biotics and I'm not comfortable with just a condom"
>end up cuddling and talking about our favorite sex positions, hard as fuck
>makes fun of her ex boyfriends dick being small
>"I think it's time for me to go home", look up a bus for her, next one coming at 5 am
>ends up sleeping over, spooning
>still have a massive boner
>"We are both really horny anon, what a shame"
>ask her whether I can put my hands in her panties "Mhmm"
>start fingering her, she is really wet
>go for oral, 15 minutes later she is literally begging for my dick, never heard that before
>says mine is almost twice the size of her ex's
>finally fucking her, really tight, going from missionary to doggy to cowgirl
>afterwards we take a shower together, fondle with her breast and clit from behind, she is really into it
>sleep
>wake up at 9 am, both roughly the same time
>ask her how she thinks about morning sex "Mhmm"
>she gives me a blowjob, end up fucking again
>finally leaves
>she is coming over again this saturday

tl:dr how shitty public transport got me laid
never thought it could be this easy
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I wish people telling sex stories on this board would just get banned from posting. Even if they're all bait threads

Remember to take a 10 minute break after every hour of using your computer.
18 posts and 5 images submitted.
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But i want the blood clots to form and move to my brain
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>>39600806
how about my fist moving to your head and shattering your skull and just knocking you out cold with amazing force how about that
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>>39600819
I'm pretty sure the bones in a persons hand would shatter as well if they were moving with enough momentum to shatter a skull.

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Reminder that anyone below 6'8 is a manlet.
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39600754
-<tfw 5'10
im a midget guys ill never have girlfriend :((
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>>39600754
You tried to hard, gotta make it more believable. You could say like 6'1" or 6'2" and get more replies. Most people here are either at 6'0" or less.
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lol no 6'8 is king of manlet

File: 1420561203195.jpg (17KB, 390x385px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>have a qt childhood friend from the age of 7 to 12
>lives nearby and we play together every day
>she moves to another country
>see her again after several years during a family meeting
>roastie slut look
>with her bf
>completely ignores me
>me sitting in front of a table and looking how they act lovely to each other
>mfw
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39600696
Then you'll go fap to the thought of her bf fucking her you little cuck
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>>39600710
>Assuming I'd fap to the thought of them fucking
>About to fap thinking about that Chads boipucci
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>>39600696
Ok?
You're butt-hurt with envy.
Is there an actual question or point to this thread?

File: IMG_8889.jpg (187KB, 1280x956px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>haven't brushed teeth in years
>they are still healthy and white
is brushing teeth another jewish scheme?
77 posts and 18 images submitted.
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Have you ever looked in the mirror into your molars and seen any tiny black holes? You may very well have cavities
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>>39600688

brush them and see how much blood you spit out
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Post pic or bs

>girl asks me out
>later find out she is a lesbian who is mos likely going to use me as her beard(person a gay person fake dates to convince their friends and family they are straight)
life is just one blow after the other
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39600659
>later find out she is a lesbian
How do you know? Maybe she's bi, or maybe whoever told you that is full of shit. You shouldn't just assume the worst of her motivations. What have you got to lose by giving her a chance?
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>>39600659
Sounds like you won the lottery if you can get her to dress you up as a girl and peg you.
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>>39600659
Think, mcfly. Girls want guys that other girls want. This girl is using you, so use her.

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Fembots, what are some fetishes of yours?
Usually women aren't as vocal about what they want as the men on here, and I'm genuinely curious to see how fucked up you are.
279 posts and 54 images submitted.
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>>39600631
Claustrophilia
Virgin men
Force feeding
Taking care of sick men
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>>39600647
>virgin men
>taking care of men
>force feeding
dude, quit it, there is no female that will match what you want and that will fuck you and take care of you like a baby, no matter how much you wish it to be true
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Oh god, I just desperately want a man to kiss my neck. I would imagine it would make me giggle and squirm, but he would hold onto me and continue to do it

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Does anyone else just not fit into imageboard culture that well? I like imageboards more than anything else online, but I got my start on the namefag internet years ago and hence I will never fit in with you people.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>wanting a rep in an anonymous imgboard
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>>39600559
Yeah. I used to be a forumfag for years and years. I love imageboards for their lack of censorship (well, not so much anymore) but the quality of the discussions is usually quite shit. Can't have your cake and eat it too I guess.
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>>39600614
Yeah, same brah. The 18 year olds on here just don't get it.

My mannerisms mostly come from my formative years on the internet, which was being a namefag, going on forums, youtube, a wide swathe of shitty sites that wasted my time. But those sites were a reflection of those sites and they stuck with me.

Don't get me wrong, I honestly hated the old internet, and I'm glad we live in an era of more honesty, more criticisms and less circlejerking. But I still stick out like a sore thumb no matter what I do here.

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Anyone else here just naturally edgy? I just can't gasp how normal these non-edgy simpletons are.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39600530
Edginess turns me on, but I'm a naturally thin skinned pile of rainbows and glitter and puppies. Usually repells edgy guys.
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>>39600530
Yes. And the rest of 4chan was as well before semi-normalfags infested this place, memeing the word 'edgy' to shame people from posting ridiculous opinions.
Now even here people have to hide what they really think, lest some cyborg with a job and a newspaper subscription get offended that his fellow anons arent as subdued as he is.
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>>39600530
Me too.

You can't even mention rape without a gang white knights rushing to the defense of theoretical m'lady on here now.

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Fembots, if you could choosr would you rather prefer:

-guys cumming unrealistically large amounts in powerful spurts
-guys orgasming without any ejaculation and the following cleanup at all
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39600517
Large amounts. Cleanup isn't that big of a deal, and everyone loves exaggeration now a days.
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big cums
not fembot
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This is a board of filthy childish tainted God-forsaken degenerates, so of course most will want the large amounts option and /pol/ was right /r9k/ should be wiped out.

>tfw you're a sperm donor
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
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You've betrayed /r9k/ by giving away your semen
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>>39600655

I will have between 10 and 40 children. I have become the chad.
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>>39600503
What will you do when you meet a kid that looks like you as a kid in a few years?


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