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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1984. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>go to random board
>go to random thread
>tell last poster to go back to >>>/pol/
>close tab
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38475529
Its a way off life
>>
>>38475529
>do this on /3/
>it takes 3 weeks for them to respond.
>>
>>38475529
>Make thread in /pol/ about significant event in recent history
Global ban for three days
>Make thread on /pol/ baiting people by asking them to apologize for voting for Donald Trump
Sticky, 300+ replies

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>girls at work are always trying to hit on me
>too autistic to respond
>tfw my social autism is the only thing stopping me from being a chad
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38475453
>be 22 yr old khv working retail
>always catch below average gril coworker always staring at me
>cute, white and not fat
>playing with her hair
>biting her lip
>eyes that say fuck me
>too autistic to make a move because I'm not 100% sure if I'm reading her right
>don't want to lose job or get in trouble
>male coworker has to point it out to me
>make a move
>spaghetti everywhere
>she realizes how autistic i am
>no longer interested in me
>overhear her talking about her boyfriend
>>
>>38475453
I really want to buy that hat one day.

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You know coming to this place does help your social skills a little bit. It plateaus at some point if this is the only way you get human contact, since you don't actually get to know anybody and learn tolerance, but wouldn't you say it's easier to think critically and stand up for your principles than it would be if you did nothing but watch cartoons and masturbate? Maybe you're even more socially adept than the people who live for likes on facebook, you'll surprise yourself if you aren't hideous and shower and all that basic shit. If you just see everything as a number (how many friends, how many times you had sex) you are taking your own potential for granted. My life is shit but I still feel good about the fact that I can correct people about things and can offer some extra perspective. Just a thought.
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Depends on how you use it. If you look at this website as a what to not to do. I think you will be fine.
>>
If not for this place I'd probably still be living in complete social isolation, it helped a lot with my extreme social anxiety.
>>
>>38475459
The hobby based boards are full of more or less normal people but they're much slower. This board is for trying to learn social skills from other people with poor social skills, but they still may have strengths where you do not and you can still learn from those.

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I haven't had a conversation with anyone in over a month, not even my relatives
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>1 month
That isn't even all that long, but be careful of getting into that habit.
Can you function in public?
As long as you still can shop at a store or use civil services when you require them, you should be okay.

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>Be a failure
>Parents have high expectations of me
>They keep stressing me out about school, even at summer
>See all the people I used to know getting accepted in med school, business school...
>Have 0 friends, no hobbies and never leave the house.
>mfw
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38475363
Do not fear
>be accepted in Med school
>still a failure with 0 friends

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>Sitting in chair, preparing to open yummy energy drink
>Crack it open, mmm refreshing, cold...
>Wipe it with finger to make sure I eat no rat poo-poo while drinking, put it down to browse /b/
>forget about fucking drink, grab it 5 minutes later, attempt to wipe it in boxers... proceed with showering balls in soda...FUCKING FORGOT IT'S OPEN. THEM RATS WONT BE POOPING ON ME DRINK!
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38475359
Why the fuck are there rats in your house. Do you live in a ghetto?
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>>38475359
get a cat bro, they're cute and kill shit
>>
>>38476397
The first day I moved into my new house I walked out in the front yard to see my cat defending a dead rat. Cats are useful at times and they are also cute and can keep you company

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Why do boys lie so much about his penis size on internet?

5.5-6 inches girth is porn star tier and everybody here has a 8x6 dick

why?

just be honest, it's internet, nobody knows you
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38475350
Anon I never lie about my penis size. It's 7.5 inch long. 5.5-6 inches isn't porn star tier, pornstar tier is above 7".
>>
>>38475412
Girth not length dipshit
>>
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Also guys don't "lie" so much as they cheat by bone pressing or rounding up by half an inch and genuinely convincing themselves they are the length/girth they tell people they are

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Is it weird to order coffee black from a fast food place?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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DES -
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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>tfw black
>tfw virgin
>my dick is 6x5.5
i hate the bbc meme so much
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38475112
iktf anon.

Blackbot here with a 5.5 incher. Still proud of it though.
>>
But that's thick af anon. I'm an inch longer but a little thinner and I'm pretty jealous
>>
>>38475112
YOU PICKED THE WRONG THREAD FOOL!

OP?

OOOOOOHHHH

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As a lanklet with massive social anxiety, I am terrified of the missionary position. How am I ever supposed to get laid when the very thought of making eye contact makes me sick from nerves? I also hate my body. I guess the only solution is suicide.
2 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>develope an alternate personality
>Sit back and let that persona fix your life
>Profit??

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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts..

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. Roasties are not allowed neither traps
13. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD.:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
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Xd sohmmm original
>>
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>>38475050
Hey
What's up in this sticky senpai
>>
i see what you did there

(lol got muted for 2 seconds trying posting the above)

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Why am I not scared of death, something which will happen with 100% certainty, but consumed with fear of things which might not happen like going bald or never finding a gf
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38474993
no point in fearing that which is inevitable, there's nothing you can do about it. but that which isn't set in stone can change at the drop of the hat.

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What's feel like to hug a girl, bots? I'd imagine pretty nice
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>>38474946
It feels good when her boobies press up against you
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Last time I hugged a girl was in 8th grade at the end of the school year. I remember smelling her hair and feeling her boobs against me. Also her hands around me, feels good desu. She was my middle school crush who liked me in 5th grade and even asked me to be her bf but I was too shy to say yes and I told her that I will think about it.
>go home
>log in Messenger
>message her that I thought about it and that I want to be her bf
>she says she changed her mind and that she likes another guy from our class
>cry the rest of the night
She was my first love and I will probably never forget her. Still thinking about her sometimes.
>mfw she had several boyfriends throughout middle school and I've witnessed them hugging and kissing.
>mfw she's 100% not a virgin anymore
>>
It was a pity hug. A hug for someone she was feeling really bad for. And the person was me. She hugged me really tight and she meant it.

And I still think about it sometimes when I'm feeling the worst. Hugging the pillow as if someone cared you know

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>tfw even if I ever found a qt3.14 to love me she'd either cheat on me with chads or straight up leave me for one of them after a while
so when did you realize the only way to keep a loving gf forever is to break her spine and keep her nice and drugged 24/7?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!


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