Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5104. page

If I was her dad I would rather just die

this isn't real. she's a regular model, not a porn model.

>>37182816
if i was her dad id be shocked that i was able to impregnate a girl

>>37182660
Na is let him finish then take my turn

>>37182660
Yes I would as long as his homies aren't hiding out waiting to jump from out of nowhere my reward a sex session with her as a thank you

>>37182660
Nogz solo are weaker pound for pound than whites so yeah why not.

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>its about who gets to use the football field in the 30 min 10' o clock pause
>note that we are in switzerland and that the field was top-tier
>the two 4th grades decide to use the field, citing our newly gained status as "the older kids" at school
>the oldest kids disagree, donning the field to the first graders as a sign of maturity
>us 4th graders are deeply unsettled, and the unrest soon pits the two earlier describet parties together
>Bettim is blaming Fabian and the swiss kids in general for not telling him about the 6th graders, calls them little bitches
>bell rings, disaster is averted, but the two sides are now clearly rivalizing

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>>37182519
>its sports class, we are playing a game similar to baseball
>there is constant arguing over if the kid reached the safe mat before the other team "burned" the ball
>Bettim and Fabian are in the opposite team, the latter loses
>in the changing room tensions are rising
>it is impossible to determine if they burned the ball in time
>a not so brutal, 11yrs old fist fight ensues, i tear both of them apart and they calm themselves, but the rivalry is now frozen in asphalt, the class also splits in two, Bettims and Fabians supporters are about the same
>never ask me to associate mysf with one of them simply because thet didn't care
>after that, 4th grade passed with only minor skirmishes in the changing room

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>>37182730
5th grade
>we get a kid with severe anger issues
>he is also strong so the two parties try to recruit him
>all attempts fail, untill one day the kid walks up to a sixth grader and tells him that his gf is ugly
>6thgrader chimps out, sucker punches anger issues
>Fabian senses an opportunity and pushes the guy away, giving anger issues enough time to grab his scooter and fling it into the face of the 6th grader
>he lost twoo teeth
>anger issues has a serious talk with the principal
>is now loyal to Fabian untill death
>a great weapon in the hands of the "reds".
>we called them that because of the swiss flag
>The "blues" (they picked that color because the others picked red) had to look for another asset.
>they eventually find a love-deprived autist who became loyal to them just for the feeling of community
>this autist is a lone wolf, seizing the momen to strike at the reds
>one day we found half-liquid shit in Hendrik's shoes
>someone must have used the shoe to scoop out the shit
>no one confessed, but everyone had serious suspucions

>>37182252
this board was always controlled by women
>eliza and other roastie whores
>tfw no gf
>etc

when you try to outhate the last hate and proceed along this cycle you quickly reach a point where your commentary becomes so absurd it is indistinguishable from satirical sarcasm at maximum level
this tends to result in a reset

>implying that hate is a good thing

It must be easy taking the simple man's way out, eh?

When I was 13 I stole a bunch of my cousin's pokemon cards and then bullied him until he called his parents to come get him.

All three of them died in an auto accident on their way back home.

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>>37182110

origuridesu

>>37182069
>mfw people laugh after I tell them it's one of my favorite shows
Because it sucks dick and your dead cousin doesn't change that

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>>37182002
Sorry, bro. I don't have any on this computer. But I've been meaning to start a folder of helper, because he's great. Here's a bump for help.

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>>37182154
tnk u for the bmp a non

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>>37182002
wna b frinmd??

Fembot here. Why are you faggots always so submissive? Women want strong alpha men, not wussy fags.

>>37182174
>calling people faggots
kek. silly boy youre not a girl if you have a penis

>>37182174
it's r9k what do you expect

>>37181869
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5_5Bq-BZTc
CLEAN
YOUR
ROOM

>>37181869
So what are your problems?

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>>37181869
SORT
YOURSELF
OUT
You have been muted for 4 seconds

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this total princess

> losing hope on women because of an app and not real life experience

>>37181657
She still gets a lot of attention, doesn't she?

Looks like a camera angle thing.

Good genetics. If fat boy could get in shape he would look really good.

When their facial figure at a healthy weight is gaunt and weaselly, their face looks normal when fat.
In some cases for faces like this, being fat is honestly the better option for them.

You feel superpowers the first couple of days but after a week it gets pretty boring.

>nofap
>have money for once

What the fuck were you using dollar bills as jizzrags or somethings?

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Wait, does the government subsidize nofap? This is a gamechanger!

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>The first game we're gonna play is called, Are You a Virgin?
>Anon, why don't you go first? So, are you a virgin?

>>37181369
Yes, I am.
But thats where you come in.

>>37181470
That's actually pretty alpha.

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>>37180630

i wish Vincent Price shot his baby batter in me

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>>37180630
Yes, why yes, what an eggcellent plan!

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Hey that's eggactly what I was planning on doing.

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>>37180607
Do your dick pumps when you see my pic?

If not, you are a faggot.

>>37180607
>draw a girl with a dick
>call it a boy
wow really tricks the ole lizard brain

Dicks and femininity, same as straight porn.

Fred Cox was thinking about Sharon Ramsbottom again. Sharon was a rude queen with greasy ass cheeks and grubby nipples.
Fred walked over to the window and reflected on his derelict surroundings. He had always hated chilly Skegness with its tense, tame tunnels. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel afraid.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a rude figure of Sharon Ramsbottom.
Fred gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a creepy, deranged, beer drinker with pointy ass cheeks and fat nipples. His friends saw him as a blue, bad brute. Once, he had even helped a hushed baby with autism cross the road.
But not even a creepy person who had once helped a hushed baby with autism cross the road, was prepared for what Sharon had in store today.
The hail pounded like drinking ostriches, making Fred anxious. Fred grabbed a squidgy book that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.
As Fred stepped outside and Sharon came closer, he could see the large smile on his face.
"I am here because I want some more Twitter followers," Sharon bellowed, in a callous tone. He slammed his fist against Fred's chest, with the force of 953 toads. "I frigging love you, Fred Cox."
Fred looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the squidgy book. "Sharon, I ate your puppy," he replied.
They looked at each other with worried feelings, like two homely, helpful humming birds gyrating at a very malicious birthday party, which had niggemusic music playing in the background and two cowardly uncles rampaging to the beat.
Suddenly, Sharon lunged forward and tried to punch Fred in the face. Quickly, Fred grabbed the squidgy book and brought it down on Sharon's skull.
Sharon's greasy ass cheeks trembled and his grubby nipples wobbled. He looked sneezy, his body raw like a kooky, kaleidoscopic knife.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Sharon Ramsbottom was dead.

>>37180891
Part 2

Fred Cox went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.
THE END

>>37180557
The Fat Key to the gate of hell
A Short Story
by Anon
Goobler Gob looked at the fat key to the gate of hell in his hands and felt In pain.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Painful surroundings. He had always loved Painful Hell with its poor, putrid Pain. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel In pain.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of boob sqveez. boob was a gay fat with thicc dicks and thicc hair.

Goobler gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a shitty, fat, cyanide drinker with thicc dicks and thicc hair. His friends saw him as a damaged, damp dick. Once, he had even revived a dying, your mum.

But not even a shitty person who had once revived a dying, your mum, was prepared for what boob had in store today.

The meh teased like killing gabens, making Goobler fat.

As Goobler stepped outside and boob came closer, he could see the elated smile on her face.

"I am here because I want boob sqveez," boob bellowed, in an arrogant tone. She slammed her fist against Goobler's chest, with the force of 8821 gay retards. "I frigging love you, Goobler Gob."

Goobler looked back, even more fat and still fingering the fat key to the gate of hell. "boob, no boob sqveez," he replied.

They looked at each other with shit feelings, like two scrawny, snotacular stallmans jacking off at a very retard Opening of the gate to hell, which had screamo music playing in the background and two smelly uncles sqveezing to the beat.

Goobler studied boob's thicc dicks and thicc hair. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you boob sqveez," he explained, in pitying tones.

boob looked hurting, her body raw like a panicky, pleasant piece of shite.

Goobler could actually hear boob's body shatter into 6061 pieces. Then the gay fat hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of cyanide would calm Goobler's nerves tonight.

THE END