/r9k/ on Craigslist there's this older woman (40) who says she's interested in having a summer fling with a younger guy (I'm 18). I'm fairly good looking but very autistic so I figure this is as good of a chance as I'm gonna get of losing my virginty before college which might shake off some autism so I could have a chance at being a normie and maybe even getting a gf.
Anyway my question is what do I say about myself that will get her to respond? Should I beeee myself and tell her I'm just trying to lose my virginity before college or should I say something else, also know that in person there's no way I'll be able to impersonate chad if that's your advice. I lack any of that kind of confidence.
Also should I reply to her with my main email or one of my side emails or does it not matter?
>pic not related just really cute
19 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
good god lad, have some standardsunless she's a milf, pics
>>
>>29843744
high chance of the herps id be cautious. most likely she is looking for chad. dont send pics unless she asks, especially not dick pics. thats all i got
>>
>>29843744
it will be much easier for you to lose your virginity to a girl your age in college, don't sweat itunless you are a real robot of course
>>
>>29843764
She didn't post pics, but 40 isnt that old and she said she was blonde, 5'8", and average build, and lives in the suburbs so I'd guess she'd at least be fuckable.
>mom found the gassing centers
10 Posts / 8 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843740
>mom found her panties in my draw with mold growing on them
>>
File: sadship.jpg (63KB, 768x432px) Image search:
[Google]
63KB, 768x432px
>>29843740
>feds found the lethal doses of morphine
>>
File: Frog1.jpg (25KB, 499x499px)
25KB, 499x499px
>Dad found the necrophilia network
>>
>>29843820
Please post more rare ships.
File: Doggo Bloggo.jpg (134KB, 960x720px) Image search:
[Google]
134KB, 960x720px
>Be me, 11 years old. Have retarded last name Sandyeggo
>Only friend is my dog name Carmen
>I would spend all my time with Carmen
>It would get to the point where I wouldn't eat dinner without having Carmen sitting next to me
>Eventually I get sucked up in school work and my new found love for football
>Start spending less and less time with Carmen
>Notice that Carmen is becoming more distant and disapears for hours
>One night after coming home from football with a couple of friends I notice that Carmen doesn't greet me at the door
>Ask mom where Carmen is and she says the she doesn't know
>Just think to myself that it's one of her disapearances and that she will come back
>Friends leave and I head to bed
>Next morning wake up and realize that Carmen is still missing
>Confront parents about her disapearance
>We set up posters and search for her every day
>Weeks pass and i'm still wondering
>Where in the world is Carmen Sandyeggo
4 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843680
I was it coming two lines in
>>
>>29843714
I know I fucked up before realizing it
>>
>>29843724
It's cool dude, at least your making your own stuff
File: 1465700680793.jpg (34KB, 540x540px) Image search:
[Google]
34KB, 540x540px
post yfw when on your deathbed and the nurse asks if you have any regrets
10 Posts / 6 Images
View this topic
>>
not anymore i dont!
not anymore i dont!
>>
File: 1466580315902.jpg (10KB, 290x270px) Image search:
[Google]
10KB, 290x270px
>>29843639
My only regret is that I didn't die sooner
>>
File: fsasdfasd.jpg (48KB, 500x295px) Image search:
[Google]
48KB, 500x295px
planetsplanetsplanets
>>
>>29843639
> deathbed
> regrets
such a fucking meme. soon enough you and everything won't exist
< 100 years anon
whatever
Anonymous
Tooth brushing is useless 2016-07-10 03:14:37 Post No.29843599
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Tooth brushing is useless 2016-07-10 03:14:37 Post No.29843599
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Tooth brushing is useless
Anonymous
2016-07-10 03:14:37
Post No. 29843599
[Report]
[View this topic]
>haven't brushed my teeth in about 1 year
>went to the dentist yesterday
>no cavities, just a little bit of gingivitis
When did you realize that brushing your teeth is a meme?
8 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>literally has a condition caused by not brushing
>hurr durr it's a meme
>>
i brush my teeth if i eat oreos and then am going to go to sleep for 12 hrs
>>
>>29843628
It's a meme in the sense that it won't give you anything really bad, faggot. If I just brushed my teeth every once in a while I'd be totally fine.
>>
>haven't brushed my teeth in 10 years
>teeth are literally falling out and breaking when i eat
>in constant pain and gum disease out the ass
>20 years old
tooth brushing is useless yeah definitely
File: 1387390999418.png (56KB, 1379x2031px) Image search:
[Google]
56KB, 1379x2031px
>message girl I found on pof to be friendzoned
>add her on steam
>she messages me
>you're the person from fetlife right?
17 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
How is this a bad thing again?
>>
girls aren't as capricious as they let on.
it is a shit test.
if you treat her like shit and tell her you want to fuck, she will choke on your cock, she basically proved it with
>fetlife
but i would drop her.
>>
>>29843578
>a female gamer
>using pof
>using fetlife
That figures. Dropped.
>>
>>29843906
K I'm gonna ask her out for sushi right now.
Fuck you.
File: 1457323956001.jpg (98KB, 604x604px) Image search:
[Google]
98KB, 604x604px
>broke my laptops headphone jack
This is the end
I have no reason to go on
10 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Plug it into a tv via hdmi
>>
>>29843600
I don't have a TV.
I don't know why I would do that anyway.
>>
>>29843576
what kinda laptop is it?
the part might be easily replaceable
>>
>>29843686
It's a Toshiba
File: help-dog-picture.jpg (138KB, 1600x1200px) Image search:
[Google]
138KB, 1600x1200px
How are you right now, r9k? I've got 2 dogs in bed with me right now and I couldn't be happier.
21 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843571
that is disgusting
enjoy nasty dirt all over and in your bed
>>
>>29843583
Sounds like someone has never received some puppy love before
>>
>>29843571
Sounds comfy anon. Im just starting outside my window on a Saturday night wondering when everything went wrong.
>>
>>29843658
Tell me your story, anon. I'm interested
Anonymous
ITT: Things /r9k/ actually believes 2016-07-10 03:10:55 Post No.29843547
[Report] Image search: [Google]
ITT: Things /r9k/ actually believes 2016-07-10 03:10:55 Post No.29843547
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: the beard on your throat and the cheese on your dink.jpg (48KB, 469x463px) Image search:
[Google]
48KB, 469x463px
ITT: Things /r9k/ actually believes
Anonymous
2016-07-10 03:10:55
Post No. 29843547
[Report]
[View this topic]
>If you're an atheist, you wear one of these, have a neckbeard, are autistic, like MLP and post on Reddit
4 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843547
>and post on Reddit
Actually they post on /r9k/
>>
>>29843547
tfw when 4chan was the original neckbeard website
we wuz
>>
>>29843547
We don't actually believe that. It's like "tits or GTFO." If you bring up your pleb-tier beliefs on here, you're gonna get laughed at
>5am
>mouse scratching the wall
>mosquito buzzing around
>can't sleep
Just fucking kill me.
11 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
no, kill THEM
kill the mouse and mosquito and you will have your peace
KILL
>>
>>29843534
I can't find the mosquito and the mouse is in the wall. No idea how to kill that fucker. He comes from outside.
>>
>>29843560
TEAR OPEN THE WALL
DO IT
>>
>>29843560
Make peace with the mouse and you will find peace within yourself
File: Happy-Frog-Meme-20.jpg (36KB, 709x765px) Image search:
[Google]
36KB, 709x765px
>alot of girls like you
>you don't like them back
>your oneitis is taken
7 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843495
>alot of girls like you
I........ I'm not familiar with this feel. It seems fo foreign, so distant.
>>
>>29843495
i get smiles from girls in public
what does this mean
i have the outward appearance of a normie but on the inside im a robot
>>
>>29843495
>>alot of girls like you
fuck off
>>
>>29843521
Im basically this >>29843579
File: 1455565049839.jpg (83KB, 640x640px)
83KB, 640x640px
So whats your favorite kind of girl and why is it black women?
4 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843448
I just want a black mixed race thick nyc gf ;_;
>>
>>29843448
>big boobs
>big butts
>don't get offended at every fucking thing like white bitches
>>
Bebe made me realize that an autistic GF might not be as great as the average robot might assume.
File: 1467314392402.jpg (115KB, 1280x967px) Image search:
[Google]
115KB, 1280x967px
The sweet girl who refuses to hold hands with you is the same one who licks chad's cum off the floor while he calls her names. Behind the facade of unavailable pureness women put for betas, there is a secret world of dirty degrading lust which they only share with chads.
19 Posts / 4 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843441
this is pasta, right? I've seen this before
>>
I've gotten hugs from sweet girls before but holding hands is definitely a dating thing.
>>
>>29843441
fantasizing about the possibility of a sweet qt gf is the only thing keeping me from killing myself
please stop
>>
File: 1467598407952.jpg (12KB, 500x500px) Image search:
[Google]
12KB, 500x500px
girls are cute, you know, until they unzip their mouths
File: oralexam.gif (2MB, 550x303px)
2MB, 550x303px
This is what heaven must feel like
5 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
fuck that feels like its too sensitive
>>
I can't go on much longer without it, I will get it by any means necessary. If that means facing machine gun fire then so be it.
>>
>>29843440
lol it must suck being an americuc
brb guns but not escorts
>>
>>29843405
For her too! This is a nice dick. And this guy seems to get that women like being lead.
WHADDO WE WANT?!
8 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
g...gf?
>>
I want to be lauren mayberry's little baby tampon boy. i want to turn into a little crying baby and then suck on her breasts. her magic breast milk would turn me into a little baby tampon boy. she would stick me into her hoo-hoo and i would wait with anticipation spouting little baby goo-goo ga-gas waiting for her to bleed all over me. i want to feel her lauren mayberry blood inside my little goo-goo ga-ga baby tampon body. i want to absorb her hoo-hoo juices inside my little baby tampon boy body and goo-goo ga-ga like a little rolly-polly baby boy. it would be orgasmic to know i am one with her hoo-hoo lauren mayberry blood and i would giggle and goo-goo ga-ga and yelp with little baby boy excitement as i roll around in her lauren mayberry hoo-hoo and revel in her red juices, slurping them into my soft little baby tampon boy goo-goo ga-ga body. then i want her to pull me out and squeeze and wring my little baby tampon boy body so that her lauren mayberry hoo-hoo blood and juices spill all over her lauren mayberry face. it would hurt and i would scream in pained goo-goo ga-gas as pain envelops my little baby tampon boy body until i reach full climax and turn back into grown human man.
>>
>>29843346
Mulan is the type of story that could only have happened in East Asia.
>>
File: Mulan (1998, 1080p).mp4_snapshot_00.47.59_[2016.07.09_23.12.09].jpg (161KB, 1816x1080px)
161KB, 1816x1080px
>>29843383
THAT'S WHAT I SAID
A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
File: 12525249_472208096303822_796953513111925430_o.jpg (45KB, 1135x511px) Image search:
[Google]
45KB, 1135x511px
>be black
>frequently make shitposts about black women being ugly just to bully and trigger the femanons and attentionwhores
>secretly desire a qt introverted black gf who enjoys vidya
22 Posts / 6 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843299
>frequently make shitposts about black women being ugly just to bully and trigger the femanons and attentionwhores
if you really wanted to bully femanons and attentionwhores you would make threads bullying white women or just women in general
there's simply way more white women here than black, like, if you make a thread specifically bullying Tongan woman, you think anything is gonna be achieved?
>>
>Be white
>Constantly make jokes about niggers
>call people and things care traitor as a joke
>secretly in love with a qt Black gril
>>
>>29843341
they get the most triggered
also i've made threads talking about how asian pussy is superior to white pussy, but i like to spice things up every week
>>
File: 1419689046419.png (940KB, 1023x1105px) Image search:
[Google]
940KB, 1023x1105px
>be black
>don't care about 3D roasties because I have my waifu
File: taco-bell-logo.jpg (24KB, 300x300px) Image search:
[Google]
24KB, 300x300px
Best fast food coming through
5 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
all yum! foods is shit tier.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yum!_Brands#Brands
>>
>>29843178
Incorrect, the attached is clearly the best.
>>
>>29843178
>cheesy gordita crunch
>crunchwrap supreme
GAME. SET. MATCH.
>>
File: FB_IMG_1446626018106.jpg (53KB, 540x720px) Image search:
[Google]
53KB, 540x720px
>>29843241
Sorry guys pic now attached
File: virgin-men.jpg (38KB, 588x321px) Image search:
[Google]
38KB, 588x321px
Tell us something you wished someone would have told you before you had sex for the first time.
7 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Make sure it isn't with a crazy person who will ruin your life.
>>
>>29843174
It's not as good as you think it is.
>>
jerking off is better.
the best position for both people is doggy style.
no one wants to talk afterward, let alone listen to you crying about hiding under your blankets as a child and pretending to be homeless to cry yourself to sleep.
>>
>>29843174
pussy doesn't smell like fish
File: 1467601629993.png (339KB, 518x336px) Image search:
[Google]
339KB, 518x336px
I'm Taylor, im a 19 year old girl who just started twitch streaming. My username is
TaylorAlaska
right now we are playing Orion, gonna be playing other games too!
I'm trying to get it set up so it works right, do I have to add a new shot to open my webcam? I tried that but the webcam showed up blue. Do I add it as a global source?
I am doing it to help make ends meet, as you see I was homeless for a year and I made a deal with a guy to exchange cleaning for a place to live until I get a job, but he broke the deal off and wants me out after two weeks. I was homeless because I was trying to escape an abusive family, so I don't have anybody to help me out. Things can get hard to afford. I've applied to Wendy's, Walmart, Target, DollarTree, Costco, Safeway, Roundtable, Subway, etc. I've applied to lots and lots of jobs but nobody wants to hire me yet, so I decided to give twitch a shot.
But it's not working right because it goes offline alot. If I set my max bitrate to 700, is that what makes it lag? As opposed to say, 900?
You guys don't have to donate, I really just like hanging out with you all.
You guys are the well-humored fun-loving people I like having around my stream.
I hope you guys can answer my questions so I can get into streaming!
16 Posts / 4 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843166
thank you for your input
saged
>>
File: 1466344053789.gif (216KB, 400x400px) Image search:
[Google]
216KB, 400x400px
>>29843166
can i stick my tung in ur pus-pus?false-flag operation
>>
>>29843166
>im a 19 year old girl
No, you're that trash anon that got banned from /cuteboys/
>>
File: 1455340916535.png (114KB, 512x512px) Image search:
[Google]
114KB, 512x512px
>>29843166
boooo.
TOMATOMETER: 1%
Would you date a sjw?
19 Posts / 5 Images
View this topic
>>
Too moralfaggy, no thanks. I do things for fun
>>
no. dumb wordview, boring personalities, and they all want to be dominated (but their understanding of being dominated to so lay in bed like a fish while the man ravages them)
i give SJW women a 1/10
>>
>>29843157
>would you date a stupid and ignorant girl
no.
>>
>Break up with SJW
>Get charged with rape
no thx
File: 1449709505777.jpg (77KB, 422x600px) Image search:
[Google]
77KB, 422x600px
I want to duel someone to the death. Just how I wanna die, or live the rest of my life. Is there anywhere on the Earth where this is legal? I have a friend who said he wants to duel me. It would be with guns, cowboy style. Anyways I've got a friend in Singapore who could be the judge and we'd go there if it was legal.
5 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Your life belongs to the jews. You can't do it.
>>
>>29843164
Anyways I want out. And I want it to be cool when I go. You know?
>>
Why worry about the legality? One person loses, the other offs themself, and nobody has to care anymore.
>>
>>29843481
One has to carry on the legacy.
Who else here has a fetish for well-done and obvious makeup? I don't know why, but it's hot to see a girl put on a bunch of makeup? Anyone else get this?
24 Posts / 6 Images
View this topic
>>
Yes because I crossdress.
>>
yeah but for clown makeup
>>
>>29843131
It must be nice to be able to get it up to the most trivial bullshit.
>>
Yes I enjoy when girls spend a lot of time doing their makeup and hair. I like the look of well done makeup, not so much bimbo clown. This isn't really a fetish I'm just a normalfag who isn't obsessed with purity.
File: ashley.jpg (40KB, 933x523px) Image search:
[Google]
40KB, 933x523px
lovers and haters of the obese please post about fatties, videos, stories, pictures. real obese people pls contribute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdNZ4uhxXRY
9 Posts / 4 Images
View this topic
>>
I've been watching episodes of My 600lb Life a lot recently
Just got under the obese BMI level yesterday too. Feels good man.
>>
>>29843129
I'm fat and I fucking hate fat people, they're so fucking gross.
>>
>>29843156
everyone give it up for anon!!! im glad your getting healthier! keep it up.
>>
File: Fig-3-Buried-penis-associated-with-obesity-and-excess-pubic-skinfat.png (234KB, 342x456px) Image search:
[Google]
234KB, 342x456px
>>29843129
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-mbaY1_4WY
heres another video of a notorious fat.
File: hqdefault.jpg (19KB, 480x360px) Image search:
[Google]
19KB, 480x360px
Fembots, how much did I fuck up?
I basically just told a girl who likes me that I have feelings for our mutual friend.
7 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
Well, if you wanted to ever have anything happen with that girl, or for your feelings to remain secret, badly.
>>
File: 1466087795607.png (235KB, 409x409px) Image search:
[Google]
235KB, 409x409px
>>29843124
invite em for triangle
>>
>>29843186
Well shit
Should I tell my crush that 'do you think I made a mistake telling my friend who likes me that I like her friend'? As sort of an indirect heads up to be aware of any possible future slander.
If she kills my chances somehow with my crush I'm gonna stop seeing both of them and just date my friend's gf's sister instead. Dont need this drama.
>>
Bump
Original pasta desu familia
Anonymous
Aparently rape is legal in las vegas :( 2016-07-10 02:46:07 Post No.29843117
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Aparently rape is legal in las vegas :( 2016-07-10 02:46:07 Post No.29843117
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Aparently rape is legal in las vegas :(
Anonymous
2016-07-10 02:46:07
Post No. 29843117
[Report]
[View this topic]
TFW you realize there is a rape club in las vegas
sometimes referred to as club secret, costs thousands and thousands to be a memeber.
There are usually only one or two nights a month when there is a show.
Amateur girls are given tens of thousands of dollars to get gangbanged by 2-10 guys for an hour or so in front of an audience of around 200 wealthy people.
Everyone is transported to the secret location in a blacked out limo and must turn over their cell phones before leaving for the club. It is located somewhere around 10 minutes off the strip.
During some of the shows the girls have no safe word
here are a couple of first hand accounts
https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3mwaty/performed_live_porn_at_a_vegas_sex_club_for/
https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/3nv3hw/vegas_sex_club_my_28f_experience_as_a_sex_slave/
There are other stories (not just on reddit) but talk about the club is discouraged. Anyone here familiar with any of this? Unfortunate that rape is essentially allowed, even if there is a big financial incentive for the girl.
8 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
>>29843117
one of the accounts
>>
>>29843117
another talking about the rape
>>
that does it
i'm swallowing the redpill
>>
How is that rape when they girls are agreeing to do so for the cash?