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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 703. page

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>"...and here's our son Anon's room. Let's just poke our heads in and say hi."

What shameful, disgusting act are your Mom and her friend she met at JoAnn Fabrics about to witness?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
me hunched over like a cartoonish orc eating an egg and cheese english muffin looking at a 39" tv less than a foot from my face as a monitor
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stop, that hit a little too close.
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me sitting in an abyssaly dark room behind the pc in fetal position with a face like pic related that screams eternal damnation and too much exposure to it will make them depressed for about a week i should warn them not to stare into the abyss else it stares back

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I'm on academic probation guys. Should I just kill myself now before classes start.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
I failed a "core" module at uni. I had one retake and if I failed again I was to be kicked out. It was literally the turning point, fucking realised how much I wanted it, and I graduated with a 2:1 in the end.
That depends, what are you about to fail?

I didn't know what the fuck was going on when I started university at 16 in '94. I was completely out of my depth. I needed to understand who I was and what I wanted, my life goals before I ever should have been there. I can't imagine what it's like for you kids now, with the threat of crippling debt hanging over your heads.

Just fucking study. Search for meaning where you can find it, but ultimately you won't.
do it honorably in the middle of campus

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>got a prostate exam earlier today at the doctor's office as part of a physical
Should I just stop going to this doctor? I feel so embarrassed and violated. The next nearest doctor is 30 minutes farther than this one so it would be inconvenient but I really am scared to go back. It was already embarrassing enough when I had to say I wasn't sexually active, this just made it ten times worse.
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
Can we have details please
Who the fuck orgasms from their prostate exam unless they're in the closet. Also wow you lasted like 5 seconds.

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How many (potential) serial killers do you think lurk /r9k/?

One of the most common traits that serial killers share are fucked up childhoods. Often characterised by abuse, neglect, isolation, etc (either from family or peers). Which then flourishes into potential mental illnesses as adolescence kicks in; such as the case with, arguably, most robots. Granted, a small percentage of people who have these traits will go on to kill somebody (or even commit crimes in the first place), and the mental illness in general can just as easily be more of a risk to the patient themselves than other people, but the base traits are still there.

So, given that, how many here do you think could be potential serial killers or have gone on to serial kill? I would say there should be something like 1 - 3 on /r9k/ at any given time. If there are ones who have gone on to kill, they either keep a secret for their own sake, or have already been caught.
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
serially posting suicide recommendations is exactly the same as being a serial killer
It's probably very likely. But I don't think we have major serial killers on r9k. Probably someone who killed 1-3 people.
Me. But I didn't have any of that. I kept my head down during my childhood and went through without any trouble. Neither do I have a mental illness.
I do however fantasize about kidnapping and murdering people, I also read into murderers/murders daily and have set up multiple different scenarios in which I could kill and get away with it.

mom storms in your room

>"ANON! I've arranged you to do work experience washing dishes for the next several weeks. You start in half an hour, GET DRESSED NOW!"

wat do?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
No thanks, I'm just going to continue browsing the internet.
>thanks Mom I wanna work but can't handle the pain of rejection

>get dressed and go
Mom, I am 30 years old have a job and my own house. What the fuck are you doing here? Lets go to the doctor and get you checked for alzheimer's bitch.

What are the most OP champions in URF?

My favourite is Garen with black cleaver and rialys.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
Why the fuck can't we pick who we want in urf
god i fucking hate riot so much, like 80% of the time i end up with some really boring champ and it's not fun at all.
Probably Evelyn.
wrong board you fucking sperg
go to >>>/vg/

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I went out to my favorite natural trail today and found a plant (about 5 feet tall) growing in a bucket in the middle of nowhere, covered by lots of other weeds. I took some leaves with me for identification.

Is this weed? I don't know anything about weed, so feel free to lol at me if it's not. I just think it's weird that this plant was growing in a bucket in an obscure spot. It wasn't there last week.

Pokemon for scale and cute.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
BHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow you are one dumb autist and a thief
That's poison oak
Only one way to find out OP. Grind it up and smoke it.

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no matter how bad life gets, please just remember, you can stop the pain whenever you want
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
I don't live near a place to do that
Buy some rope.


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Do you feel sorry for those who spent their childhood in 2007 or later?
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
>Missing out on Danny Phantom

It's for the best
The '90s were the best decade to be a kid in.
Quite simply a reddit opinion

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>80 incognito tabs full of god-tier porn open
>device shuts down unexpectedly
>lose all teh porn, didn't bookmark a single one of them
>can only remember ~15 of them
18 posts and 9 images submitted.


Your ISP still knows what sites you visited perhaps you should ask them? :^)
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whats the matter? still live with your mom and have to hide your predilections?

Ah NEET life, it sounds so wondrous. Imagine having no freedom whatsoever in exchange for not having to get a job.
How many threads are you going to shit up today before you're satisfied?

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I am an otaku.
Ask me anything.
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
whats your favorite animu
and do you speak nihongo
Nan desu ka? Originaru
Are you cute? That's what I'm asking you.

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how do we convince people the moon is flat
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
hold a paper play to the sky for them and eclipse the sun with it
then explain that flatness and roundness are inseparable cosmic truths
the moon is THICC tho
ask if they ever seen the other side of it

Am I destined to be a "manchild" forever?

I have no interest in marriage, sexual conquests, children, becoming successful, romantic or platonic relationships, etc. I'm graduating in a year and have a job/internship that'll lead me to a pretty successful career later on if I just stay with it, so I'm far from being a hikkiNEET. I don't really have any hobbies other than drugs (solitary use) and sometimes video games. Sometimes I volunteer and "give" back to my community if I have enough time and the opportunity catches my eye. I just don't really see a point in my life anymore, and while I'm faring day to day, I can't see "tomorrow" anymore. I think this is a common dilemma, so how do I solve it?
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
Double aught buckshot to the brainstem via shotgun.
play more wow
I don't really want to kill myself yet. Too drastic of a measure for the time being.

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How do you deal with knowing your parents are gonna die and you'll live 25-50 years without them most likely
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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My Mom died when I was a teenager, it sucks. There's no sense in constantly worrying about something inevitable like your parent dying.
It feels like if you played the entire first half of a difficult video game using a walkthrough guide to refer to whenever you're frustrated/can't figure out a puzzle, and then having to continue the other half of the game without it.
My depressed bros know once you've been rock bottom tier depressed nothing like that matters anymore and you're a burnt out android.
My dads father died when he was just 25 years old. He still gets teary eyed when he starts mentioning it. He had very few friends, and the last of his friends that he still knew just died suddenly. He's a pretty lonely guy, I know for a fact he used to post on 4chan. I'd say he was a robot if it wasn't for the fact he somehow made offspring and got a decent job.

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>happy meal
>DOESNT make me happy after eating one
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>be 27
>order kid's meal
>tfw it doesn't make me a kid again after eating one
life is a cruel jester.
Did you see this on another thread anon?

Tell the truth now honey
the way it works is the meal is happy to be eaten

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