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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2237. page

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I want to off myself via shotgun, but I want my cute face to still be intact. is there a way I can do it, or am I going to have to go with a different method?
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
shotgun to the chest has a 96% fatality rate in suicide range unless your family is near a hospital you will die
and there it is a simple answer you can die is that what you honestly want because your family will learn to hate you for it, your friends will curse you and everyone who has ever cared for you will be in pain please think it through fully but if life is too hard to bear then make your decision
>>
Just take a picture and leave it near your corpse.
>>
>>38500376
>family will learn to hate you for it
don't care about my family
>your friends will curse you
don't have any friends
>everyone who has ever cared for you will be in pain
the only people who have ever cared about me already hate my guts and have suffered in one way or another because of me so i'm kind of indifferent

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>tfw finally having decent poos again
Thank God. I was getting tired of having rabbit poos constantly.
How have your bowel movements been lately robots?
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>38347250
Actually had the first solid one in forever this morning. Pretty nice after eating hydrocodone all week.
>>
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>>38347250
Pic related. Is there anything wrong with mine?

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If you're a woman, literally with every second after age 20, you are less desirable than you were the second before.

Do women start developing personalities in their twenties, to compensate?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38500279
Graph is extremely false. Don't forget men age like rotten cottage cheese.

Bald spots, limp dick. You probably can't get it up already and cum in 2 seconds kekeroni
>>
>>38500323
This. No young women EVER date or marry older men.
>>
>>38500323
Lol... women get infertile by 43-55 years in 99% of cases, men are fertile way past their 70s in some cases

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Anyone else a fast cummer?

>condom
>last 10 pumps in doggo style before cum
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Not really but it's about pacing desu. You don't have to go jack rabbit fast all the time.
>>
>>38347248
pogs were the fucking shit back in the day. only reason I bought junk food.
>>
>go to Asian massage parlor
>teasing massage does half the job
>time for jacky
>cum in seconds
Always embarrassing.

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PARENTS BROUGHT A EX FRIEND OF MY SCHOOL TO MY HOUSE
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
is he a grill?
>>
Why does your school have ex friends?
>>
Why did they bring him/her over? For what purpose?

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>he's still wagecucking instead of living off his investments
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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I can't fucking deal with my overbearing parents anymore. I'm 21 years old and I'm completely under their thumb. Now they want to go through my computer and social media, and I'm powerless to argue it because I'm such a fucking bitch. If they try to take my shit or punish me I plan on commiting suicide
24 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38500261
It only gets worse anon.
I'm 25 and they try and force me to show them my bank account info and transactions, and when I work. Imagine not being able to buy food because your parents would kick you out for spending money and not saving it.
>>
>>38500435

if you've just been saving money why don't you just move out?
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>>38500435
Your parents sound based you fucking retard. I wish my parents did that to me when I was 25. I wouldnt have dropped out of college to snort heroin all day.

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>New girl comes into class
>Decides to sit next to me
>Before I can get a word out, the Chads begin hitting her up
Who else hates competition?
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38347142
She eventually changed seats, and joined the group of Chads.
>>
>>38347142
Even if you got a word or a million words in,s he don't want you

http://www.boredpanda.com/three-year-chat-tinder-michelle-arendas-josh-avsec/

<333333 robots won't understand ~
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38347079
l don't understand this at all
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>>38347147
expand your mind trap fucker

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Femanons, what the FUCK is your problem?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Can I be a femanon (male)?
>>
>>38500293
Spread your asscheeks for me you faggot
>>
>>38500293

You can be a faggot(gay)

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>tfw using screen recorders on snapchat to record videos of stacy's twerking
>tfw they will never know
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38347053
post some please and thank you
>>
>>38347397
Might have to convert to webm first

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>can't even get a basic retail job because no experience
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38346941
lol should i even bother? im 25 and never had a job do i lie?
>>
>>38346941
Welcome to modern society. If your not Chad Chadingston or a moderately attractive female, you literally have two options in life. Slave away or homelessness. Unless you can somehow get being NEET to work for you.

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>mom saying that i need a job because she will die in 30 years and i will be alone in the world
>implying i will live 5 years more
hahaha
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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>tfw just started work
>my boss is female poo in loo
>HOT and young, long curly hair, 10/10 dresses very well, tight dresses and pantyhose
>Is dangling her shoe all day, even taking her shoes off and rubbing her feet together at times
>i cant resist staring in awe

I-is this what jungle fever is? What do? Why dont women realize how sexual shoe dangling is?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38346742
Foot fetish is for animals who can't get sex normally so they have to get jollies from something easier.
Also don't go after coworkers it never goes well.

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>she said she needs to be alone for a while to figure some things out
>only dated for like 5 days
>i typically think about killing myself everyday, but for the past week i haven't
how do normies do this?
in high school i got my heart rekt by a gril and I just turned off emotions for a while, but now i want live. I cant take it anymore alone
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
dump right fucking now

if she's already being a dramatic bitch 5 days into a relationship I guarantee she's gonna make your life a living hell

do NOT date emotional vampires
>>
>>38346717
Need to be alpha in this situation. If you come off as desperate she will dump you straight away, ignore her till she contacts first and when you do converse again show half interest.
>>
>>38346717
>>she said she needs to be alone for a while to figure some things out

That is 100% of the time code for she wants to fuck someone else.


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