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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1712. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>Wake up
>Look at yourself in your mirror
>See this

wat do?
40 posts and 5 images submitted.
take a bunch of nudes catering specifically to my own fetishes and save them so that only I can gain access to them. at that point I spend the rest of the day figuring out what to do exactly the situation is and how to go about reverting it.
yaay can finally live out my lesbian orgy fantasies
>See this
But I already look like that anon

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Why do nearly all autistic men have absurdly masculine facial structure?

vid related


Even fucking Chris-chan would be handsome as fuck if he lost weight
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
Some believe that Autism is the result of too much fetal testosterone. It has been called the "extreme male brain" theory
Im pretty sure if r9k oster their faces, most of them wouldnt be that masculine.

All the dicks here they post in tribute/I cut my dick threads seem huge though
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Less than 1% of this board's userbase could actually satisfy the clinical requirements of ASD

read: clinical. Not some meme diagnosis from a hack psychologist trying to build business

There is actual scientific evidence to back this up based on uterine fluid sampling or something like that

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I miss old r9k so much

I wish i could give a scaphism to all of the normies, trannies, and roasties infesting this place.
33 posts and 9 images submitted.
it's time to ascend and reach higher levels of imageboard culture. 4chan has fulfilled its role
Wizchan makes me want to die more then this place does, what else is there?
there's a ton but I'd never post any of them here. I couldn't just let 4chan's userbase waltz into any of these places, I bet you know what I mean, but if you're really done with it, I hope you figure it out and perhaps we'll post elsewhere together sometime!

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The Fifth Grade Fight Club-pt.1
>be me
>be in fifth grade with anger management issues
>be bored at recess along with 8 or so other social rejects
>we constantly got pissed off at each other for no reason
>recess monitors got pissed because they had to deal with us
>we went on like this
>with no way to settle our disputes.
>until one day, I had an idea
>"why don't we just fight?"
>everyone gave me a look
>a weird look
>the king of look you would give your dog if he started lecturing you about why capitalism is bad
>nobody said anything for a solid ten seconds
>then one of them asked, "where?"
>I told them to follow me
>they followed, eyeing each other nervously
>I led them across a poorly maintained baseball field
>when we stopped, we were well out of view of the recess monitors
>I pointed them toward a dugout
>we went inside
>we then started planning how the fights would be run
>two rounds, 1 minute each
>no strangulation
>no kicks to the face (to avoid obvious head wounds, lest the teachers/monitors ask questions)
>one person was always to stand on lookout to watch for teachers or monitors
>to avoid suspicion, we would only fight on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays
>to win, you had to knock a person down for five seconds
>or do the most damage within the two rounds
>so with the rules set, we prepared to call the first meeting the next day
end of part 1, if anyone so wishes, i'll post the rest of the parts as well
30 posts and 13 images submitted.
I'm entertained, post part 2
Glad you enjoy it

>one kid name Ralph wanted to fight me
>i said okay
>he punches me, but i don't really feel anything
>he keeps throwing these wimpy punches
>laugh inside, but notice something
>there's a bulge in his shorts
>it's throbbing
>the sight makes me hard too for some reason
>we stop boxing to compare wieners
>his is easily twice as big as mine
>he says that makes me his "girl"friend
>everyone uses me to experiment with sexually
yeah part 2 anon, this seems good

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>Searched for strip clubs in Google maps
>Accidentally shared it with my Facebook friends

Why the fuck is there even a share feature on Google maps
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>shares porn videos on facebook
>Facebook friends
do people actually do this? it has to be potential serial killer behavior.

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Get a job. You get money for strippers, commissions, etc. If your work ethic won't get you there maybe your lust will.

Do it for the ass anon.
34 posts and 5 images submitted.
Strippers? That's normalfaggotry, as is thinking a prostitute could remove virginity or give biological affirmation.

There is no legal prostitution in the US; you may as well be demanding a robot find a hitman or get a better job
>Get a job

I live with my parents and I have enough NEETbux to get an escort per month kthx
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I don't have a job, live with my parents and I fuck plenty and quality ass.

Get a grip is more like it

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who else i perma depressed without drugs. Currently on coffee and nicotine gum and still depressed. 6 mg so far and 2 coffee. I miss kratom and weed.
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
>drug thread
>picks the two weakest most normie useless drugs in existence
>he quit kratom and weed
what is lack of money

Is starting college at 23 a good idea or waste of time?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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depends on what you're studying
It's a good idea. It will get everyone off your back for being a neet loser. Just make sure you study something that can actually get you a job in the future.
different anon. what would these things be?

Poast your tracks

16 posts and 5 images submitted.

what do robots think of jf? all of his songs are my favorites but heres my favorite favorite


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>mom in bathroom for fifteen minutes
>hear loud farting and plopping
>she leaves and I run in
>air still smells like her shit
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
Why do people want to fuck their moms?
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>mom comes over to visit
>had some alcohol and steak over the night
>door has an air-hole of some sort on the bottom to cause a draft
>every time I take a shit when shes over she blatantly runs in front of the door
>can hear her sniff
>goes immediately into the bathroom after I took a disgusting shit
mom's retarded

>Anon, a-are you sure you want to date me? I mean, all the other girls bully me because of my height. Th-the guys harass me and laugh and call me ugly. Are you r-really okay with a freak like me?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
yes I am ok with a freak like you, cuz you're perfec the way you are, and you are the first person who really likes me
I like dem 2d boobies
no fuck off mutant scum

I really need to blow off some steam. This board has been my home for several years now, and it occasionally surges with a rise in pedophile threads/pedo sympathy threads and it really makes my skin crawl.
Pedophilia is harmful, I can attest to this from firsthand experience. Kids do not understand the nature of sexual attraction or sex acts, coercing children into doing sex acts that they don't understand leaving long lasting, sometimes permanent, mental scarring. Even under the illusion of consent, these kids don't understand enough about what they're consenting to. By the time they reach sexual maturity and learn what they consented do, it's too late and they learn how they were manipulated, used, and discarded.
I know pedophiles don't have a choice in who they find attractive, but STOP pushing this notion that "there is literally nothing wrong with pedophilia."
There is a lot wrong with pedophilia. there's plenty of research out there to back up that pedophilia, even under the illusion of consent, causes lasting damage to kids.
I know this isn't Tumblr and I shouldn't expect a safe space from my triggers, but this should not be a safe place for people who want to cause harm unto the most vulnerable members of our society.
308 posts and 76 images submitted.
My bad,
pedophilia is harmful, this board shouldn't be a safe-haven for pedophiles.
Anon, so then do you forgive people like me that would never, sincerely NEVER, think to do anything sexual with kids? I agree with everything you said and appreciate that you recognize that I don't choose to be attracted to kids. And in my defense, I'm all over the place and have found old men/women to be charming, finding even them attractive amongst finding people my age attractive, too . I have no idea what I am honestly, ha. In complete agreement, anon. I think we need a third sticky.
Can we kick out the trannies and gays too while we're at it?

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ITT autistic things you do.

>Going to bathroom
>Get bored
>Pull shirt over my head and start slapping my belly
298 posts and 75 images submitted.

I only shit naked. If I'm in a public restroom, I'll keep my shoes on and my pants around my ankles, but my shirt still comes off
If I injure one side of my arm then I intentionally injure the other arm to balance things out

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>work wage cuck job
>they give me pay card
>tried to withdraw the money today
>nothing came out but the funds was taken from my account
>call the card holder and speak to some receptionist
>they say I have to wait 40-55 days to be refunded the money
The fuck
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
What the fuck is a pay card? Why don't you have your own bank account?
>have a job
>manager steals my labor at the time clock
>business owners steal the rest of my surplus value
>bank takes the balance of my wages
But socialism is for libcucks, huh?
Many places give you a (((company card))) that they put the funds directly on, and although legally they have to give you the option of just getting a regular paycheck instead, they can also say "We pay you within 2 days of pay period on the company card, but it'll take 6 weeks if you require a physical check."

It borders on Depression-era practices of paying workers in IOU's, in my opinion.

>no more legal stream of adderall
>adderall by illegal means is fairly expensive

What are good alternatives? I have about 80 10mg pills left, so I'm using them pretty carefully. I've tried caffeine + modafinil but modafinil gives me moderate anxiety which causes me to self-medicate with xanax and completely makes the modafinil pointless. Not to mention that it doesn't feel that great to begin with.

Strattera sucks, and I'm not a fan of ritalin either. What to use? What to do?
51 posts and 7 images submitted.
Smoke pot and jack off! Smoke weed every day you ninny! You fucking ninny muggins! I'm high as FUCK right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition!
If you insist on being addicted to drugs, just get some meth.
This. Or just toss the pills out and learn a better coping mechanism. Many such mechanisms exist.

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