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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 135. page

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>tfw a girl in my class likes me, is very pretty, and is a genuinely good, kind person, but she's 6 feet tall and I'm only 5'10
What do, robots?
61 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39595083
Honestly I wouldn't go for it that's the one thing I wish I could change about myself
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>>39595083
>taller than you
>"likes me"
Yeah suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
>>
Save her the trouble of dating someone trifling over something as petty as height

Didn't even notice that we got a response.

Okay boys, what's the next message?
28 posts and 9 images submitted.
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Tell her if she doesn't you'll kill yourself
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>>39595075

hahahaha, you're not chad enough.
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>>39595075
Okay, have a nice night

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For the first time after 25 years of living I'm genuinely in love with another person and considering finally losing my virginity to and being with a man forever. But the (evolutionarily advantageous) affliction of my gender is to be terribly indecisive and overestimate our own mate value.

Please reassure me that picking a fellow autismo virgin as my life partner and not a Chad who would smash then dash was the right choice. I know it was but I would feel a lot better hearing it from others who are more objective and aren't drunk off first love.
22 posts and 3 images submitted.
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what do you love about him and what's the closest you've been to in love before this
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>>39595077
Well we met through our shared interests and hobbies so that was automatically a good start. I love that he's so sensitive and caring, and he loves kids and wants children and marriage. He's really funny and always makes me laugh and we have the same sense of humor. He's always respectful of other people and empathetic but knows when people don't deserve it and he won't let people walk all over him either. He also has an amazing memory and he's actually quite clever. He shares all the same values as I do and he's also open minded and basically he's like me but a man and therefore different in a lot of ways. He makes me want to be a better person, and I like the person that I am when I'm with him. And from the way he talks I can tell that he's deeply in love with me and incredibly serious about our relationship and dedicated. He's also the perfect height for me and he has a great smile and mouth and perfect hair and eyes.

The closest I've been to love before this was the second year of high school when I had a crush on a boy for the first time but then he fucked my friend when both of them were virgins and they didn't even like each other in that way, they just wanted to try sex. That hurt a lot obviously and so I stopped liking him. Have pretty much had zero interest in anyone romantically until now, almost 10 years later.
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>>39595458
It's a sham, he'll take your virginity and run for the hills. Wait until at the least marriage for sex. Also how tall is he if he's your perfect height?

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what do you do when you're bored /r9k/?

>faggot pot dealer with shitty product constantly boasts about how he's always high, thinks he's actually going somewhere in life
>works at theme park
>i email the theme park pretending to be a concerned parent and send pics of him from snapchat smoking and selling weed
>literally videos of him smoking wearing his work uniform
>get him fired
>mfw

why did i get this kid fired? why did i feel the need to do this?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39595039
I usually masturbate quietly if my parents are home or just watch anime. If they are not home I get naked and masturbate and be just in general degenerate
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>>39595039
Because you know he is a degenerate.

Romans 2:15
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reply to dumb sissy wojak boy threads

Botswellia
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brazilia
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>>39595019
>most people actually think the capital of Brazil is Rio de Janeiro
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>>39594941
not killing my mother tonight mememan

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I don't know why but I feel happy right now and want to spread positivity. So I know it may seem but I just wanted to say that if you are reading this I love you and I wish you can live a happy and fulfilling life ^w^ <3
26 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>39594914
>I don't know why but I feel happy right now and want to spread positivity. So I know it may seem but I just wanted to say that if you are reading this I love you and I wish you can live a happy and fulfilling life ^w^ <3
Dumb sissy anime boi.
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thanks for the dumb thread OP you just motivated me to stop browsing this board and go take some kratom and some klonopins so i can actually feel okay and not utterly grey like i do 24/7
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>>39595060
W-what? How does this make me a dumb sissy anime boi? ;-; though I'm not denying it... please don't be mean I cry easy...

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Who else here done with life?
>have gf
>complains that I'm too mean
>try to change
>not good enough
>try to change more
>gf cheats
>believe its my fault for being too pushy
>need some time and space to think
>gf starts looking through my messages

I broke up with her today and now I'm drinking alcohols.
Is there anything in life worth living for or is life just a completely lost cause?
I'm thinking about using my shotgun on myself tonight.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39594866
>ever believing it's not the woman's fault
r o f l
>>
Hey anon, don't sweat it. I know it feels like shit right now but you'll be fine, you'll find another gf who won't cheat or look through your messages.

Just chill out and watch some standup or some shit. I got through one of my breakups by watching Sam Hyde for hours on end
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>>39594866
>Going to an hero because some roastie cheated on you
You normies really are pathetic aren't you

so i literally, literally, fucking literally

did i say literally

i literally fucking woke up from a 3 year coma. fuck me, wear your seatbelts kids - that shit actually is sound advice. its not something meant to annoy you. really wear you god damn seatbelts.

anyway, i just got home from hospital. jesus christ so much has changed in the world, lots to take in.

My only fucking burning curiosity is what i have missed on 4chan in 3 years

looking for some highlights, like what sticks out in your mind or, anything.

fuck man i want my life back

(also im a faggot)
239 posts and 40 images submitted.
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>>39594847
Was it a regular coma or an Oxford coma?
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>>39594847
Well literally everything LITERALLY literal did I mention literally? Literally everything has gone to shit
>>
>he missed 2016
Holy shit dude, you've got some catching up to do.

At least you get to watch Florida get rekt

/fit/ brah here, Why aren't you eating healthy and lifting?
43 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39594753
because I want to die young
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>>39594753
I guarantee I eat healthier than you
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>>39594753
Me personally, I don't have the willpower or desire to do it. I took too many redpills too quickly, and now I've lost all hope. I don't even have the strength to kill myself. I merely linger here until fate finds reason to do away with me.

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>Wow anon you were amazing!
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39594744
You're still here? I'm going out to eat. You better not follow me.
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amazing in what you shouldnt make statements like that without elaborating you fucking asshole
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>>39594744
>Why aren't you making me a sandwich
>I don't have time for youre after talk, I was there, I know what went down
>I was going to sneak out after you went to sleep, but ill just leave now

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>tfw you cheat on your gf and take 2 weeks to reply to her texts and she doesn't care and you still fuck

Feels good being Chad lads. You can do anything.
Just get /fit/, get /biz/, and get redpilled and you'll control the pussy. Literally it.
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39594707
>get /fit/
>get /biz/
>get red pilled
I think at that point controlling pussy wouldnt even be a concern.
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>>39594707
Thanks for the tip Chadnon. I'll keep that mind next time I go to my favorite record store or malt shop.

I was thinking of asking Suzie Q to the dance but she said she's had too much homework lately. Maybe I should do her homework for her or help atleast. Wow Anon you've really helped me out. Suzie will collapse into my arms after she sees the new found confidence in me.
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>>39594942
fuck off, CCR is god tier and you know it

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ok so im a girl, i like girls and guys, but is it gay for me to like a guy who looks like a girl, even if technically it's straight because penis, but im attracted to him because hes feminine
195 posts and 26 images submitted.
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idk google it snowflake
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>>39594673
Tits or GTFO dumb bitch
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>>39594673
whas wrong with ur lip bb

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I have to stop wearing t shirts. Two normalfags commented on the picture on my shirt today. I cannot have these awkward interactions.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39594657
>graphic t with anime shit on it
You were asking for it OP.
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>>39594677
>graphic t-shirt with anime shitting on it
Yeah I have to agree with anon here, what did you expect there?
>damn those normies I'm just trying to show off my pooping waifu
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>>39594657
Just pick something less embarrassing and not something that will out you as a hentai-browsing perv

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>be me
>start talking to this girl from tinder
>5'2, Asian, not very attractive face wise but has a cute little body
>tell her she's cute and would make a good little spoon
>she calls me hot and says we'll have to find out
>one night she asks me when I want to hang out
>tell her I'm free right now
>she tells me to come get her
>ok.jpg
>pick her up from her place, greet her and ask her about her day
>she is extremely awkward
>doesn't make eye contact, hardly talks, tells me she sits at home playing video games all day
>she tells me she browses internet forums a lot
>asks me if I do and I respond with "no not on a regular basis"
>ask her why she doesn't have a license (she's 19)
>tells me she watches security footage of people dying in car accidents and it scares her from driving
>what the fuck
>we get to a secluded place and sit on a bench
>we talk a bit more and I eventually wrap my arm around her
>she cuddles up on me
>continue talking and I eventually lean in to kiss her
>make out for a bit then invite her back to my house
>get to my house and proceed kissing and then I eventually put my hand down her pants and rub her pussy
>she winces in pain and tells me she's a virgin
>tells me no one has ever touched her there before but tells me to keep going
>her pussy is super tiny and unshaven
>start trying to get my finger into her extremely slowly
>after 20 minutes of gentle teasing I finally have my entire finger inside her tight pussy
>eventually I start eating this untouched pristine pussy
>she really like it for a while
>she looks like shes about to cry so I stop and ask her whats wrong
>she says shes fine but wants to go home
>ok.mp3
>drive her home
>when I get back home I find out she blocked me on snapchat and unmatched me on tinder
>tfw

Which one of you fembots was this?
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>>39594644

What a ride. Too bad I'll never experience any of this.

If you can't post the convo anymore, could you please type out exactly how you said she would make a good little spoon? I just wanna see how you slid that in and started flirting because flirting has always been difficult for me
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This fembot?
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>>39594700
Well she deleted me from tinder so I cant post it verbatim but is when something like this

mind you she had "looking for a cuddle buddy" in her bio

>me: hey your super cute *winky emoji*
>haha thank you
>What are your requirements for a cuddle buddy?
>none really you just have to be chill
>well it looks like you'd make a great little spoon
>thanks youre hot
then I asked for her snapchat and it went from there. The next night she snapchatted me at 9 asking when I'd be free

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You ugly fucks do not know suffering. You do not know what it is like to be a 7/10 and have love just ever so slightly out of your reach
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But we dont have the best solution at our fingertips either.
You can always go fuck another girl to forget the one who broke your heart.

Your love life is a rollercoaster. Our love life is standing in que for the rollercoaster but never getting to ride.
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>>39594639
I liked that comparison
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>>39594639
>You can always go fuck another girl
No I can't, that's the point. I'm the guy circled in red. I'm at the front of the line but the ride never ends. You jerks at the back of the line don't even get to see how great it looks


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