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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 685. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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I want to fug Dr. Elliot Reid from Scrubs.
8 posts and 4 images submitted.
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i want to fug her badly
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Meh she never did anything for me, her face is weird & she's a stick.
I'd do unspeakable things to Dr Kim though
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The wall hits everybody

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Everytime i masturbate (for health reasons & shit) my sperm is yellow. Thoes that mean that i'm sick/infertile/cursed? Shit's disgusting. Help me anons; release me from this pain.
Tl;dr: cum is yellow, wat do
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
Just go to a doctor dude, I doubt there are some around here
Something is either wrong with your balls or with your diet
don't eat so much junk food, try celery
Are we talking like traffic light yellow, or pale

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Keep your eyes open down under. I think someone's feeling a little bit batty.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
I worry sometimes that I am the only actual person, I know this is a simulation, but even when you tell people with logic they just stare you like you're crazy
I can say for certain that you are not the only actual person.... but then again i am just text in a computer...
>the average people are dumb
>modern society pushes people to be dumber and dumber
It doesnt mean that they are NPCs and you are the only existing person

Can you spot BPD in first talk with a girl/boy?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
i just googled it and i think i might have it, seems like my last oneitis had it as well
add me on steam http://steamcommunity.com/id/squishylolibutt/
be careful, symptoms are too general and wide
every joe and jane can say they have it at first glance
go to therapist to be sure

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>open paint
>draw wojak from your mind
>post results
>(optional) rate other anons
6 posts and 6 images submitted.
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im very proficient at music but I think I've found my biggest weak spot. my photographic memory is literally below zero and I cannot into drawing either. hell people still give me compliments when I write my name in a way they can read it.

oh well, hope this can make some people laugh
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yes this post is very originaliaum
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I can picture him but its hard to get that image down onto paint

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I don't know what do with my life despite living in a country that will give me free education for anything ranging from plumbing to medical doctorates. What do?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
Plumbing. You'll make damn good money, more than many college grads, and you'll be able to find work fucking anywhere
This. Go for plumbing, anon. Or anything of the sort. It may not be your passion, but you will make good money. There's always demand for these kind of things, and it's a pretty stress free job
You'll also destroy your back and knees before you're even 50.

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How do we save /r9k/ from this debauched homosexual degeneracy?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
By continuing to educate them on prison-gay and anal sex, so they realise that real life is not like their trap doujins and there is no "eye rolling euphoria" when being buttfucked and there is literal shit involved sometimes
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Michael "LGBTBBQ" Pence
>there is no "eye rolling euphoria" when being buttfucked
And you would know?

>be me
>everytime change opinion/mood depending on the hours/day.
>don't get along with people irl or ivl, always want to break the 'bonds' that you create with people quickly before they do it first .
>leave them around thousand of messages while they are away
>attaching to them to quickly and trusting them too much even thought you aren't 'naive' and is someone with a pessimistic point of view.
>almost fall in love with them
>block/ignore them , then try to contact them again
>block/ignore them AGAIN then feels bad
>pretends its trolling to yourself.
>regret .
>stalking your 'friends' all the time because you are curious, you want to know who are 'they' and what they think of 'you' .
>struggle to stop hourly stalking
>paranoid af about 'someone' find out about 'something', about your life, your hobbies and everything. You don't want anyone to know these
>suicide thoughts and threats
>your dream is to stop talking with people and continue talking with yourself because you are a coward.
>want to remove your empathy this way you won't feel the need of being with someone else .
>people already told me that i was 'very weird' and now someone told me here that i might have 'BPD' from reading my message which i don't think is true,think of it as barnum effect and i'm a male so there is less chance i might have it
>got another friend and i'm already planning on stop talking to him because he is my 'weakness' and because of unknown reasons (i can't find the answers to them)

Be honest robots, what i might have ? I think i'm just someone who his a giant faggot because never had any friends
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
This hits tlo close.
I've never managed to make any friends cause when I'm about to I can't help but be an asshole or creatr distance.
yeah, sabotaging ur own relationship i know this feeling

also block them and regret all the time

and then call yourself in question, think about how 'toxic' and 'egocentric' u are which make u think its better if u stop talking to people in general and don't unblock/contact again the dude
Oh hey it's you again. I was about to make my BPD thread then I stumbled across this. I told ya man these are textbook signs of BPD I wouldn't consider this just barnum effect. All of your symptoms that you've described are spot on. Just because you are male doesn't mean you can't have it. You should try and force yourself to a psychologist, I get that the paranoia might stop you but even going there and not saying a word about your symptoms will prove beneficial as long as you go there.

>No money for games
>Torrent all of them
>Forgot to turn on your VPN/ Proxy that day
>Have to pay a fine of $3K per game
>Government stops the Gibs
>Resolve to drugs because Computer is taken away
>Die to overdosing yourself

Is there anything more pathetic than a NEET?
Are NEETs the losers of the losers?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
sure, keep saying that to yourself wagie
>>No money for games
What kind of cucked country do you live in? I torrent everything that can be torrented without a VPN/Proxy and never had an issue

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there's a cat on the balcony sniffing my laundry. no idea how it got up/down here but it seems unable to leave.
wat do
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Pick it up and adopt it if your able and willing to take care of him, if not both of these things, take him to the closest no kill shelter. Or give him to a freind who loves animals.
Abduct the cat and keep it as a pet
Throw it off the balcony.

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>h-hiya, a-anon, t-thanks for coming o-over for Netflix an' c-ch-chill :3
12 posts and 6 images submitted.
I have the urge to punch that kid in the face and kick his ribs when he's on the ground
please don't have a penis please don't have a penis
He's not even trying to look like a girl. He's just a faggot. Obviously it's a man you retard.

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>tfw quit weed after years of daily blazing
>tfw i'm starting to become an alcoholic
i can't keep myself from getting messed up
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
woah dude the other way around is better what are you doing
This, former alcoholic here. Smoking/vaping daily has been a way more healthy and satisfying experience than drinking to the point of my insides melting. I can actually get up in the morning and not feel like shit or have to clean up vomit.
My smoking was getting out of hand
daily wake and bake, i was locking myself in my room to get high
I didn't go to friends anymore so i could get high.
But now i quit cold turkey and I live in a country where alcohol is everywhere
I just need something to keep the demons at bay

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I told one of my friends about reeee, now all the school normies are using it.

What did I do
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Are you in grade 8 faggot? Get lost and don't find your way back.
>teaching normies about autistic 4chan memes
Granted, I appreciate the effort but please fuck off. This is what happened with woah. Once normies are able to understand a dank meme they grab it and infect it.
OP is obviously pretending to be retarded, quit falling for every thread like this

Until wich age can I be a NEET without being considered nor socially perceived as a big and true failure?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
19 or 20 I'd say.
No age, the moment you become a neet you are fucked.

They can smell it
Like 19 or 20 assuming you're not in school if you at least act like you're applying places every month. Drag your feet as much as people will let you, it's not any fun out there.

Almost everyone I've ever met has been boring/awkward to talk to.

I hate that fake niceness all normies have, no one feels happy and upbeat 24/7. They act like you're a dick when you don't reciprocate their extrovert routine, like I exist to make them feel better about their life.

I know I'm boring and awkward to most people too, but at least I don't pretend I like someone when I don't.
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
They probably are actually happy though, yeah they have lows but nothing like robots
I refuse to believe they're happy, how could anyone who's alone for more than an hour avoid thinking about how shit and boring life is
Yeha it's a real shame life isn't scripted like in the movies. Than maybe people would be more interesting

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