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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3585. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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i went to the stadion at 5 am and i runned
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
gud job ohpee
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>Tfw I went out and jerked off in public instead
Dawn is very calm when a man's jacking it
That is really disturbing. You're disturbing

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>There are people right now going out, having a good time, and pairing up to engage in sexual congress later tonight

What the fuck are you doing?

Post whatever the fuck you're listening to right now

28 posts and 8 images submitted.
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I'm not actually listening to it right now, but this is stuck in my head.


good shit

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Picnic stories?
Picnic ideas?
Picnic tips?
Picnic questions?
Picnic plans?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
in the original yogi bear show, yogi was the smart one coming up with all kinds of ideas to get picnic baskets, and booboo was the naysaying little shit who did nothing but complain

then in the new versions they swapped it, making yogi the dumb one

that's bullshit

fuck the yogi bear movies, fuck them, they're shit
I would never go on a picnic but it seems like it would be a nice memory to look back on.
it's the quintessential 'enjoyment of a beautiful day outside'
>just get out of the military a couple months ago
>started college (summer semester) for the first time ever a few weeks ago
>english so shits easy
>sitting alone by myself
>kinda used to it by now, still feel wierd though
>first day have to get up and introduce yourself and say a few things about yourself
>my turn
>hey my names anon. Just got out of the military a few months back
>teacher goes "oh well thank you for your service!"
>try to sit back down and stare at the wall for the remaining 45 minutes
>stacy next to me tries talking to me
>polite and all, answer her questions
>asks me if I want to exchange contact information, incase one of us is sick or something and needs the hmk
>realize my phone is dead
>tell her my phones dead
>gives me a look
>shes very cold and stand offish from then on out
>whatever bitch
>ignore her forever

am I winning yet?

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Hey robots, I met this girl on Okcupid that I've been texting for like two days. She's out of town now, but we're gonna hang out and get drunk when she gets back. I think she's looking for a relationship and not a one night thing.

I told her I was going to a friends house tonight, and she told me to drunk text her if I get drunk because she "loves that shit". Why would she want me to do that?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Maybe she wants to laugh at you. Or maybe she just wants you to show your dick.
Send her a picture of your butthole.
eh. this seems like she probably just wants you to get all sauced up and either decide to tell her how you feel about her, or show dick. depends on the girl.

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>HQ, this is Beta squadron. We've got eyes on the Normie platoon 15 clicks from here, now is our time to strike: they're huddled around a beer pong table and misquoting Rick & Morty so they're very distracted. Requesting permission to employ full anti-normie ordinance, over.
65 posts and 13 images submitted.
Waste those tangoes over.

Copy that, HQ. Preparing to deploy ordinance on my - wait a minute. HQ, the situation is evolving. It looks like the normies have captured a couple of fembots for sexual servitude...even if they likely went with them willingly, should we still deploy the ordinance?
>Hold that order Beta squadron, we have a team with eyes on a 3dpd asian qt. She's just walked into the first bedroom on the left after the stairs. We'll need you to take him out or at least immobilize him in order to protect the purity of the package. Act quickly soldiers, there is no time over.

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Prove you're not a brainlet
69 posts and 32 images submitted.
Decided to play. Enjoy.
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Posting muh resultz.

Let's go join a pretentious circle-jerk group, brother.

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>there are people on /r9k/ who are too young to know who this is
49 posts and 10 images submitted.
>there are people on /r9k/ who had friends other than Tom

Isn't that Jake from State Farm?
>ywn be in someone's top 10 friends list

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Should I try out LSD?
Never done drugs before
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
I wouldn't really recommend it to someone who has no experience with psychoactive substances.
If you ever aspire to get a job that requires a security clearance, I would suggest against.

But its a pretty interest experience overall, I wouldn't worry about a "bad trip" or w/e because honestly you still get the experience and its still worthwhile.

If you want to do it right I would suggest trustworthy friends (if you have them and they are tripping with you) and outdoors and good weather.

If I'm honest, its kind of weak if you do one square of w/e they are called.
you'll never be tested for LSD. it's not even reasonable.

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I'm posting kakyoin with cool sunglasses every day

18 posts and 14 images submitted.
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Sheer Heart Attack has no weakness!
At least post different kakyoins, cuck.
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I just got back from college orientation aka the robot's hell. What am I in for?
I'll share some of what happened
>mostly kept to myself
>occasionally the normalshits tried to 'include' me and it was really awkward
>stacy upperclassman keeps asking me to 'join' her group or something because I was alone (spoiler alert I ignored her)
>fell asleep under a tree during group time
>was sweating a lot the whole time because I was really nervous
>roommate was chad

How does a robot survive in a small university?
52 posts and 10 images submitted.
How does a grown man fall asleep during an activity? Jeez you are a turbo autist.
Sounds like you were being a dick the whole time.
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This. If you're going away to college and not fat you have zero excuse for not getting laid.

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So my gf is at a party drunk af right now and won't respond. I'm pretty scared guys.
109 posts and 20 images submitted.
Why didn't you go with her? And you can't expect her to respond right away if she's out.
I'm on duty toady. Have to stay put for 24hrs. And I don't know. Not like her to just be silent. I have a bad feeling. The crowd she's with aren't the best people ever. I called her earlier when they were pregaming at her friends house and this dude she works with took the phone mumbled something and hung up. I don't know anymore.
>some guy from her work took the phone
it's over man.

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Made a young girl friend!!!

I finally went to the Starbucks outside my window, one girl was left,
she was 13, watched anime (yuss)
I bought her a vanilla ice latte and
we talked, would it be weird to have
her come home to me and watch
anime? I'm 19 and she's so cute ^~^
Nya ^^
I just wanna hang out with her lmao
13 posts and 8 images submitted.
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my boi, what
>Nya ^^
Whatever you say pedo.
My guy, reality is very different from our loli visual novels. Lolicon is one thing but bringing it into reality is something you should not do. Once you do it you can never go back.

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We're a small (barely under 20 people), comfy server that could use some people

PS: Server Collectors/Lurkers will be banned on sight
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
bump without any feeling of shame
>banning lurkers
Fuck you too then.
You can delete you post.

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How do i get that ''fuck it nothing matters'' mentality and start socializing without being an anxious piece of shit?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
Give me some useful advice you fucking cunts.
smoke more weed? that's p much the first step in not giving a shit about anything
>implying you don't have that mentality right now, and that's why you are such a loser
>implying if you just cared about yourself, your life, and others u wouldn't be such a piece of shit

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THREAD: Pics that legitimately piss you off
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
fuck yeah i'd get it for 25 cents
i also want my land back
m& those a republicans trying to do satire

hint: the fucking republican party sign right next to them, retard
walk up to the table and say you self-identify as a native american lesbian woman
they basically have to pay you now

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