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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4319. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>4inch dick
>narrow shoulders
>unmanly facial features and voice
>almost no body hair

At least I have a good excuse as to why I don't have a gf, what's your excuse?
119 posts and 26 images submitted.
im black with a 3.1 in ch dick
In reality you're just lazy and don't put in any effort but then psychologically justify this by blaming external factors such as height, facial features and voice.

Looks theory is the biggest blue pill of our time.
Become my bf cutie

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Reminder to leave /r9k/. This place isn't good for you, you're only hurting yourself by being here. Go to another board.
18 posts and 4 images submitted.
I'm here just to make fun of other people's heartaches
You're part of the reason the real robots should leave.
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>real robots should leave
>they should leave the robots' board

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>woman smiles at me and compliments me
>get an erection
this is all it takes anymore. I'm going to explode.
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>brush arms with a girl
>get a semi
I wish I could still get decent erections.
>hear rumours of a girl possibly being within 5 miles of my location

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Who else /theological crisis/ here?

I don't know what to believe. I feel like my head is going to explode.
49 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Have you heard of the gospel of our lord and saviour, the BBC?
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I don't believe in anything

Not in that boohoo emo nihilistic sense, but more in "haha cool story bro" way.

Politics, religion, philosophy, economics, I don't care lol

If I had to pick one thing to believe in it would be Zen Buddhism but I don't care that much to actually label myself a believe and follower. I just pick and choose from various beliefs and systems if I feel like it.

What's on your mind anon? Explain

>wake up
>see this
>"aight cracka git down on yo knees you gon be payin sum reparashunz!"

wat do?
31 posts and 9 images submitted.
>turn 360 and walk away
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>get on my knees

I'm tired of having to top all the time.
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I love the enfield im surprise it doesnt get as much praise on this board its an extremely underrated gun

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>tfw 9/10 and still have trouble getting a gf
23 posts and 8 images submitted.
Damn lookin' good Stanley
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>tfw solid 9 and still no bf
i even lowered my standards
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>tfw iktftyf

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>$200 in debt

An autistic problem but a problem all the same. Wtf do I do?
34 posts and 3 images submitted.
Sell your playstation? Try student loans, buying a new car, or even just maxing out a credit card on for size. Pussy
Suck a dick or two
>tfw $50 in debt AND have to write a 200 word essay on the jews
ugh just ugh

Almost just had my father's day ruined by some rich boomer scumbag.

Stopped at a Mcdonalds with my 4 year old and my wife as a quick cheap eat before going to a movie (cars 3). Cashier said they had no happy meal toys. Left that one, went to another mcdonalds like 5 miles away just to make sure a happy meal has toys.

We are eating any of course my daughter is a picky and slow eater. Wife and i finish but not my little slowpoke. I look at my phone so i dont pick at my daughter every 2 seconds to say eat. My wife looks at her phone to get movie info. I tell my daughter to eat again then notice she had ranch on her nose. I grabbed a napkin to wipe her off. It was an unused napkin but crumbly cuz those napkin holders suck.

Anyway, shes almost done eating finally, this lady slaps a napkin on the table in front of her and says "heres a napkin since your dad couldn't bother to give you a clean one!"


That was the first words out of my mouth. This lady just insulted me to the core. "Stop yelling at her its father's day. Get off your phones!"

Holy fuck. This goddamn lady projecting at me. Old lonely crone. I wanted to chase her out of the restaurant. I yelled out "get the fuck out: She got in her jaugar grinning like she did something great. We flipped her off so hard.

Clearly this old lady had daddy issues among other issues. Shes also never fed a child under 5.

I wish she didnt get to me but my major goal in life is to be a better dad than my deadbeat was.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
>using such language in front of your 4 year old daughter
I usually don't. She is convinced stupid is a swear. We are amazing. Shes gone to disney 4 times.
i really dont care tbf

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== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
99% Switch
68% Degradee
68% Masochist
57% Experimentalist
56% Dominant
55% Slave
53% Vanilla
53% Exhibitionist
50% Voyeur
49% Submissive
43% Daddy/Mommy
40% Sadist
39% Rigger
31% Primal (Prey)
29% Primal (Hunter)
25% Rope bunny
7% Brat
7% Master/Mistress
4% Boy/Girl
2% Pet
1% Owner
1% Ageplayer
0% Degrader
0% Non-monogamist

Post those results r9k
19 posts and 8 images submitted.
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Dominant
100% Degrader
100% Rigger
100% Sadist
100% Master/Mistress
97% Owner
97% Experimentalist
97% Primal (Hunter)
75% Voyeur
53% Non-monogamist
48% Exhibitionist
43% Daddy/Mommy
25% Rope bunny
22% Ageplayer
5% Vanilla
1% Primal (Prey)
1% Brat
1% Boy/Girl
0% Slave
0% Degradee
0% Submissive
0% Masochist
0% Pet
0% Switch
LOL your the exact flip from me
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== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Owner
100% Dominant
100% Degrader
100% Rigger
100% Sadist
100% Master/Mistress
96% Daddy/Mommy
55% Masochist
54% Voyeur
47% Ageplayer
46% Primal (Hunter)
37% Exhibitionist
31% Slave
29% Vanilla
27% Pet
23% Experimentalist
16% Degradee
1% Brat
1% Switch
0% Rope bunny
0% Boy/Girl
0% Primal (Prey)
0% Submissive
0% Non-monogamist


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Dad thread

Tell me about him
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
>has cancer, spinal bifida, smoked whole life
> watches really fucked up porn (like ropes sqeezing tits, fake nudes of old hags in politics that he hates and Japanese shit) with door wide open
>gets mad when i cant fix his virus ridden computer (literally has porn for his desktop background while im trying to fix it) and will say to me things like "just pretend its your fucking computer which you play games on for hours on end" when i say that i don't know how to fix it
> forgotten my birthday a few years in a row now (i dont remind him because i don't want him to feel bad), anytime we're at doctors he has to ask me when i was born so he can fill out the form
>calls me loser if i skip school and says im gonna end up homeless
>im only 16, he had me when he was 50
i still love him tho
>Met my mom while they were working at the same paramedic station
>cheated on her once while she was pregnant with me
>Couldn't get past the issues that caused, they divorced when I was 2 years old, he gets me every other weekend
>Stuck in the house they had, no money, mom went off to her boyfriend's place
>starts working at a big hospital in the city doing engineering stuff, safety I think
>remarries eventually when I was maybe 5
>Gets divorced again when I was 6 or 7, can't remember why
>remarries again, this woman has a son too, a year younger than I am
>My stepbrother's dad hates my dad
>I see my dad every other weekend, stepbrother has him all the time
>I've got a stepdad too, and a half-sister by this point
>family configuration stays stable from now on
>Dad keeps moving up at the hospital, gets a Masters degree and then a Doctorate in Law
>Live with dad for a month when mom and stepdad go bankrupt in '08
>I get treated for blood clot when I was 19 at dad's hospital, he's always around when I'm in the ICU
>get better, move out and get a shitty job
>eventually get a job at the hospital, not working under him though
>he has to move overseas for work
>move into the house to keep an eye on it
>stepbrother graduates college, moves in
>I join the Navy, Dad is there for my graduation, first time he came back to the states in two years

I miss him
>overweight, smoked most of his life but quit recently
>works a boring factory job with my mother
>always bitter about life, constantly screaming and arguing at home fighting with mom

Honestly fuck him, hope he drops dead of a heart attack. He was never a role model to me, just a babysitter nothing more. Once I grew older I realized just how pathetic he is, but hey at least he got pussy and I probably never will so you could say hes more man than I'll ever be.

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Do you guys have a ,,purity compex'' on girls?
I can't love girls who had sex with too many different guys, it disgusts me and someonehow i have to imagine how she actually has sex with her former boyfriends which makes me kinda jealous.

The problem is im 22 years old and i think most girls in western countries above the age of 18 have sex on a regular basis with different guys. This makes it hard for me to find a girl i could really love.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
I can't love a girl who has been with a bunch of people, but it doesn't stop me from banging them.
i wouldnt even waste my time with a girl that hasnt had a few flings or boyfriends already

the first relationship is always awkward as fuck, and so is the sex. virgins are annoying, clingy, and bad in bed.

people who are obsessed with virgins/purity are just socially immature and probably very bad at sex, that is why they like virgins, because they have no reference level
>purity compex
OK, let's say I'm going to the store to buy a jar of peanut butter.
I walk down the aisles and find the peanut butter. There are many varieties, some thin, some chunky, some dark, some light and many billed as natural or organic.
In the midst of all these peanut butters, I see a large section of jar marked as clearance.
These jars are dented, or the oil has separated out, and most of them are no longer sealed, and have various amounts of peanut butter already taken out of them.
I see these bargain jars of peanut butter, and their prices, practically free, some that offer to literally pay me to pick this half-empty jar of peanut butter.
Now, I see these very available, very cheap jars of peanut butter, and look back at the fancy, organic peanut butter in the nice glass jar.
Im at an impasse, I know that I could choose either, and my peanut butter need will be satiated, but I also know that the nice peanut butter, with the natural ingredients and factory seal still in place will guarantee that I'll be happy with my choice in peanut butter, even if it costs more and I get less peanut butter altogether.
Why, should I settle for the half-eaten jar of peanut butter? Just because its cheap? Because its available?
This, my dear OP, is the dilemma

There are 4 BLACKED threads on r9k right now. I wonder who could be behind this. I'm not saying it's the happy merchant, but there's obviously some group with an ulterior motive shilling this.

I feel like it could be pol. When you hear that women don't want you (or will cheat on you) just to be with any black guy for the sake of being with a black guy, you start to think some racist thoughts.
Could be Jews.

No matter who is doing this, mods need to get on it. It's a waste of space and it majorly drags down the quality of the board. I can't see why 4 of these threads everyday can be allowed but we have an originality filter that forces people to spam "blocblcosxblox" at the end of their post.

Sage/hide blacked threads
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
You can instantly remove the possibility of it being /pol/. /pol/ constantly makes threads worshipping white women. They also attack people in large numbers for refusing to marry a white woman because she was a huge whore in the past.
There weren't any yesterday either, or atheist for the better half of the day when I was on. Now there's like 5 on. Obviously a shill or committed cuckold so just hide the thread.

This is who it is. They hire shills to push porn of their sites like pornhub, brazzers, and reality kings.

Not the best place to ask obviously, but does pussy feels THAT good? I'm a 20 year old virgin, but I had a few girls in the past I knew they were definitely down to fuck (we were talking about it and one even invited me over)
I either did not really care, was afraid or not attracted enough. I see a lot of guys fucking girls no matter the lack of attraction, the girl being fat or whatever.
So, is it THAT good, or is it overrated?
I'm talking about hook-ups only.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
It can't compare to the pleasures of anal orgasms at all
Pussy from a hot girl is heaven on earth

i can imagine since i had a few but theyre so intense im almost afraid of it

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Guys im so lonely , I need human contact I can't go on being alone for much longer. My heart , my dreams ,my whole being calls out for love. I'm 28 and I haven't had a friend since I was 12 and never had a girlfriend. All girls I have tried to get with have repulsed me and in my innocence and pure love towards them, they just laughed in my face. If I don't succeed in the next 2 years im calling it a quits. Would rather go than succumb to any more misery and desolation upon this Earth. Why is it that suffering and evil is the normal condition of mankind? How cruel this existence is...
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
get a prostitute niggga tf
I tried to once but I couldn't get it up. I want an emotional relationship more than a sexual one.
You're clearly gay just get a bf already fag

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>parents say they hired a professional to help me
>finally a therapist or psychiatrist to discuss my problems with
>"Get ready Anon, he's coming soon!"
>w-wait therapists don't usually come to peoples houses
>dude bro college Chad shows up
>"Hey Anon, I'm here to help you get laid."
>parents hired a pick-up artist for me
>we're supposed to go out to a club
>on the drive over he just gives me the same "bee confident shit"
>every time I try to say that doesn't work for me he just moves on to the next banal piece of advice
>get to club
>as soon as we enter he runs off and disappears
>try to find him but can't
>try to talk to people but everyone ignores me or just walks away
>after a while the loud music and lighting makes me feel sick so I leave
>call parents to pick me up
>"Anon we spent 300 bucks to help you find someone!"
>they say not to come home until I find a gf
>try to explain it's never going to happen but they don't respond
>too upset to go back in the club
>spent the whole night in 24 hour fast food restaurants
>tfw try to contact parents the next day but they still keep ignoring me
>tfw pretty sure I've just been kicked out of the house and am now a homeless man
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
>Shitty greentext story
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Please tell me this isn't real
Not an original comment
Break into the house, take your shit, and run. Don't look back.

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