File: scrappy-doo_124281a_2237.gif (16KB, 201x228px) Image search:
[Google]
16KB, 201x228px
My wife said not to be sarcastic around our toddlers or I'll turn them into assholes
Is she right?
I can't help but talk to them ironically like they're adults who understand me
>"sir, sir, young man...I request that you walk in a straight line for me"
[waddling intensifies]
>"smartass, huh? I sentence you to a minute with the belly blowing monster"
[he falls over]
>"nigga u drunk"
8 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
>4chan becomes a father
>>
>>17540010
Toddlers are basically animals and they don't know that ironic shitposting is ironic. They may learn to shitpost irl without realizing it.
Reminds me of a story where father taught daughter wrong names of colors.
>>
File: 1470938183484.png (721KB, 830x987px) Image search:
[Google]
721KB, 830x987px
>>17540010
>nigga u drunk?
Top kek
You sound like cool as fuck father
Anonymous
Dead End Relationship? 2016-09-06 22:13:09 Post No.17539999
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Dead End Relationship? 2016-09-06 22:13:09 Post No.17539999
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Hey /adv/. I was with my girlfriend for about 3 years. We went to the same school for 1. Then, she moved to another state, and we continued dating long distance. I'm not an emotional person, so I'll admit, even though we had loads of fun and nice times, I was an asshole occasionally. Occasionally, her too (usually during her period, though.) Other than that, we had a good relationship. I went to visit her during the summer, and I took her on a a couple of dates. We had a blast. She had fun. I had fun.
She went to get surgery the day I had to go back home. During her surgery, her psychotic over-zealous Christian mother took her phone, and read all the messeges between me and her. She demanded that I never talk to her again, according to my girlfriend. We emailed back and forth for a little, and said we need to 'take a break'. So we did. We went full on radio silence. When I was with her during summer, I had rediscovered my emotions, at least the ones for her. During the break and the meltdown, I lost all of that. I'm not complaining, it's nice to feel stable like this.
Well, about a week ago, she texted me. We exchanged Skype usernames. She said that she found herself. She's very busy balancing school and work now. We Skyped, and we acted like a couple would, without the oogling and pet names.
However, she explained that she's not sure if she wants to being in this long distance relationship again, especially with her being busy. I accepted that, and we talked the rest of the night.
She sorta teases me now. She wants to Skype 24/7, calls me names we called eachother during our relationship. And I know this sounds odd, but she shows me porn on her Tumblr dashboard (hopefully Tumblr's degeneracy doesn't effect her too hard), however, she is odd like that.
I'm not sure what I'm doing talking to her. I like being single sorta, a relationship requires a lot of work. I don't want to get stuck in a dead end relationship, or be cucked harder than a Swede.
What do?
8 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Shamefull self bump
>>
I have sort of been in your position before. When my ex girlfriend and I broke up, we knew the relationship wasn't working for us anymore but we still had feelings for each other and didn't want to let go.
So we ended up in an ambiguous FWB type situation for a while, where we spoke decently regularly and hooked up when we saw each other, but weren't officially dating.
You guys might be able to sustain this for a while, but eventually one of you will want to remain single and the other will have renewed feelings. That will complicate things.
You've gotta either both commit, end it, or just ride it out until it inevitably dies.
>>
>>17540224
Thanks for the reply, anon.
Yeah, I see what you mean. It feels like we will eventually hit that FWB level. And at long distance? That's just not worth it. I'll see what happens, I guess.
File: 1472522541044.jpg (91KB, 861x1300px) Image search:
[Google]
91KB, 861x1300px
My girlfriend's birth control causes her to not want sex at all. She flirts with me often, but talking about her low libido makes her upset. She doesn't want to change birth control pills. I can't figure out a way to let her know how important it is to me without sounding like a huge asshole. Wat do?
>inb4 rape her
11 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17539972
How does sex being important to you make you an asshole? If anything she's being a bitch from trying to shove it under the rug like it doesn't mater.
>>
File: lmfig5.gif (3KB, 400x115px) Image search:
[Google]
3KB, 400x115px
Bump
>>
>>17539982
"Have sex with me or we're breaking up" sounds pretty assholish to me.
What sucks is that used to be fine, even on birth control. I don't know what to do because she keeps saying "I don't know" when I ask her about why she feels that way.
File: Flower3.jpg (29KB, 340x742px) Image search:
[Google]
29KB, 340x742px
I'm 5'8" female and today I talked with this really cute guy that was smaller than me (not sure how much) and I would love to get to know him better or date him.
Also, I have qt manlets in my university, but I'm too shy to approach them.
9 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17539968
Was this man a child?
Are you a paedophile?
>>
>>17539968
>>>/r9k/
And stop pretending to be a girl, unless you wanna dress up as qt trap and post pics.
File: 14117703_1003442203086469_7269136427785517639_n.jpg (12KB, 391x391px) Image search:
[Google]
12KB, 391x391px
I've been dating a girl online for more than 3 months now. She lives in another country, not too far away. Anyhow, we've been talking a lot, almost every day, when suddenly she got really quiet. I asked what the matter was and her response was that she's depressed and exhausted. She got a bit too cold towards me as well. Now i understand that people need some space sometimes, i was just a bit upset that she wouldn't wanna share her feelings about it with me. She barely responds to my messages now.
I feel like if i leave her alone for too long we're gonna get too distant and i fear that we might not get back to what we had before. But i also don't want to pressure her to deal with me.
What to do fellas? I've been stalking her on facebook all day, watching whenever she's online, it's killing me.
7 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17539936
She cheated on you
Hope you learned not to have a LDR
>>
>>17539936
Long distance relationships are not a thing. It's just make-believe.
She propably found someone in real life.
>>
Gonna have to give her space, anon. Give her a day or two and try to contact her again
This is going to be long so first
tl;dr:
My mother is manic and just recently did heroin and the stress of from it culminated in me being kicked out and now I'm concerned for my siblings. Should I report her to some agency?
So, backstory. For as log as I can remember, my mother has always made a production out of everything she has ever fucked up on. She had me at a young age and I've been her scapegoat since then, it's my fault her life sucks, it was my fault my step dad abused me, it's my fault she hit me, etc. It's never ending.
My siblings have gone through the same ordeals from her but most recently she's with a new man that enables her to get away with anything, most recently heroin. The next morning she was bailed out and left to watch the kids strung up on pills she receives from the Ukraine. Her and I got into a screaming fight and the most nasty of words were exchanged. That was three weeks ago and now I've been kicked out for somehow being a horrible son who is so judgemental of her. I'm afraid of the mental and emotional abuse she will cause to my siblings and DCF is fucking useless and has been in my life forever with nothing to show.
I've been to mental hospitals to combat my depression and suicidal tendencies because of the shit that's been going on and I've actually been able to get myself to a very good emotional state in life, but I'm only 19 and stuck on what to do. I'm safe, but my siblings face years of abuse.
I could really use some advice.
9 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
I will get to answering your question but is that blob one whole cat?
>>
>>17539902
Yes. It's the meanest car ever so my grandparents made it fat.
>>
Have you thought of calling the cops? Or the child protective services?
File: Screenshot (48).png (381KB, 1920x1080px) Image search:
[Google]
381KB, 1920x1080px
Hey guys. My question is how am I doing on my YouTube Channel? I've just started and am looking to improve more and more.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJZn2KZZj_cMPv9PpV_y4sQ
10 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Go to popular youtube channels and ask people to subscribe to you.
Continue putting out content and telling your subscribers to get your name out there.
Improve your banner
Get rid of the video of you in the top corner of the thumbnail, you don't want to spoil people of your content without even clicking it.
>>
Is that an "okay" thing to do though? Posting my channel on a YouTuber's comment section?
>>
I'll give you some tough love here.
Your videos are too long and very boring. Nobody wants to watch a guy commentate himself playing video games #5274746. It's been overdone to oblivion. If you want to be a content creator you have to be actually creative. Think of your own unique shtick and advertise the shit out of your channel, give people a reason to want to click your videos and watch them and enjoy them.
You can stay boring but I can guarantee you won't get your channel more than five feet off the ground and you'll get burnt out and have wasted your time. It's a lot of effort, but it's doable. Good luck.
File: dank-memes-for-the-weekend-36-photos-351.jpg (39KB, 600x450px) Image search:
[Google]
39KB, 600x450px
Just turned 18. Parents are divorced. Dad makes 1.8k€/month, mom about 700 €/month.
Dad has to give 300€/month for me and 300€/month for my brother. 600€ total. The money goes to my mom's bank account.
My dad has offered me (since I am turning 18 and going to college) to give me these 300€ directly instead of them going to my mom's account. I told my mom about this and she got mad. She doesn't want me to manage the money given to me for my own maintenance. She yesterday told me she would feel disappointed if I took that decision.
Thoughts? Is it fair?
8 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Make your parents happy until you can move out.
>>
>>17539879
Maybe you can compromise, take the money and give some of them to your mother?
When I was your age, I used to lie to my divorced parents to get money for the same thing from both of them.
Good times.
>>
>>17539884
>Make your parents happy until you can move out.
My fucking life story mate.
If i were in that situation i would let my mom take care of it, because she would never spend it and knows how to properly manage money. While i am shit, or was shit at age 18.
But if you are good with your money, and it isn't a legal payment then take it yourself.
File: avatar_91cdc3697142_128.png (34KB, 128x128px) Image search:
[Google]
34KB, 128x128px
I feel this world is not for me and I don't know if I still have the will to try
Because society is so fucked up and full of lies and stupid sheeps whom you can't even tell that, because half of my life was fucked by someone else's doing, because I lost some passions of mine along the way, because I hate my line of work, because it seems doing something I like is so hard, no, no, go do some stupid shitty job for someone else's money where you'll have to crawl for some crumbs and even less happiness
because I feel no one understands me really, my wonderful girlfriend listens to me, at least I have her. When I met her I was on the verge of killing myself
I'm always forced to hide most of my feelings to most poeple because my feelings have always been very strong, some would think I'm mad but that's who I am. And if I'd stand by who I really am, I would alienize a lot of poeple not being able to make a difference between a burst of passion and madness because they don't feel shit in their shitty life, doing what everyone else does like morrons
Maybe I'm just not cut for it, maybe I'm thinking all this because I'm just to weak to man up . but manning up also means swallowing it all like a slave to do what you're supposed to do
I'm not even courageous enough to kill myself. And I don't want to leave only sorrow behind me
I'm good to no shit, I played music and composed for long, but just when it was going verywell, a member quit without warning and I never tried to recreate tha band again, because this was not the first time It was a dream I lost along the way, now I don't even care anymore.
I wrote a book, but nobody's taking it, maybe it's really bad and nobody dares to tell me, maybe the book industry is so full of cronyism that it's rotten in the inside for totally unknown guys like me.
Another dream to the toilet.
23 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Are you sure you wanna off yourself?
If you're absolutely sure, make sure to go out with a bang.
You need to carefully plan it. Check your local area for good targets, colleges, unis, malls. Malls tend to have a bit better security and more places for the normies to hide.
You need to map out the area and then make a plan to maximise casualties.
Don't use an AR-15 or other AR variant.
Make sure you have a good plan for the end. Just getting shot by the cops does not cut it, you need to cause as much damage as possible, an explosion would be perfect.
You can easily acquire body armor as well, it will come in handy, esepcially if your taget is a mall.
Good hunting brother, I'll be looking forward to your high score on the news. I'll be joining you soon as well.
>>
OP here
Now I want to try stand-up comedy, I hope this'll give something.
maybe I can't do these things because I don't have the willpower necessary to make it work, maybe I'm just a shit bound to live like a sheep while I thought I could do great things.
And then there's those shit about couples, I missed so many things, I never had the life I wanted and I was so confused for so many time,
I would have wanted a free life, meeting every girl who wanted and making it clear from the beginning, but I got in couple along the way and I discovered what I really want too late.
Maybe I'm just a selfish prick but I think everybody are.
Actually I'm thinking to stop all this but I want to see my nieces grow and not forget me, and this would be acknowledging I was just weak . I would go leaving nothing
I have no kids and don't want any, too much burden to me
I have done nothing, I'm no one, I suck so much, I don't want to spend my life like everybody this is no life, but it's so hard to change it, I don't know what to do
>>
>>17539874
Yeah, do that in a muslim street in my country
File: computer-science1.jpg (669KB, 1280x1240px) Image search:
[Google]
669KB, 1280x1240px
I'm choosing between studying either Physics or Computer Science in uni. What should I pick? I'm interested in both. CS at my
12 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17539837
Well there is a desperate shortage of physics teachers in the UK.
>>
Whatever you like better. If you really are equally interested in both of them go for Physics, there's not as many people who have a degree in Physics. Also it's easier to learn CS on your own through online courses than Physics, in case you ever decide you want to learn both.
>>
>>17539847
Yeah, that's the thing. I don't wanna teach and I don't really want to do any insignificant physics research. I don't think that would be rewarding.
But I also don't wanna develop boring banking apps with a CS degree.
Kinda afraid to fall into a pit of lame jobs.
File: 1387764046426.jpg (31KB, 300x300px) Image search:
[Google]
31KB, 300x300px
I always get my girlfriend off. She yells out my name, scratches my back, orgasms multiple times and loves our sex dearly.
Myself other the hand, I dread our sex. It's hard hard work and it's not fun at all. It's a full-blown exercise and it leaves me a sweaty tired mess. I ignore my own orgasms and fuck through them just so my I can sent my girlfriend over the edge. Recently I secretly started taking erection pills, just so I can increase my performance. All in all, it's never something I look forward to, even though I still have a sex drive like usual.
I'd take it down a little, but god, I don't want to my girlfriend to be unsatisfied after sex. How incredibly emasculating is that...
wat do, /adv/. How can I make sex fun for me?
13 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Fuck someone on the side.
>>
Well you fucked up royally. You should have talked to your girlfriend the first time you did it and had a long discussion about getting each other off and making compromising.
Question but how do you not get off to a girl naked? Like you are fucking her so what seems to be the problem? Is the pace or something?
>>
Tell her that you get really tired after you get her off, and ask if she can take charge to get you off. My husband and I pretty much take turns getting each other off.
Also, how are you getting her off? Is there a way you can make the process more efficient or conserve your energy better?
File: 790972_f260.jpg (11KB, 260x308px) Image search:
[Google]
11KB, 260x308px
Stuff about suicide
I've been considering it and planning it for about two years now - holding out hoping that I'd get over it and things would get better.
I've seen to shrinks over the course of a year and a half now to get help, but I don't feel like it's helping at all. I've communicated this to the shrink I have now a couple of times so that we could adapt and get me the help I need, but it's not working.
At what point do I just give up /adv/
38 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Keep slogging away anon, don't give up until you poured every last resource to get the help you need. There is no second chances with suicide.
>>
>>17539767
hey that dude looks familiar
>>
>>17539770
What kind of resources
I do almost every thing that I feel would help my mood, and if I don't do it it's either because it would be bad for my future or other people. I don't know what other resources I could have at my disposal
Thank you for answering though anon
File: 1426610986153.jpg (787KB, 1600x1036px) Image search:
[Google]
787KB, 1600x1036px
So good news, I quit smoking last week. Bad news, I feel like shit. I want to know how long this is supposed to last and if it's normal. I have allergy like symptoms (sore/dry throat, stuffy nose), a foggy brain where it's hard to think/concentrate, and I feel sort of down and under motivated. Also do you guys think vaping might help with the symptoms, if this is from not smoking? I have an older one, might use it.
16 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
Vaping is def not the solution.
Ya the withdrawel is a pain in the ass and it will continue for a while for your body to heal.
Deep breathing when you feel like you want a stick.
Meditation to get your mind in order
Oral substitutes like small candy or carrots
>>
>>17539735
tough it out. your body is starting to use things that have been paralyzed for a long time. If it doesn't clear up in a week or so, it's probably not from stopping smoking.
>>
>>17539740
>>17539743
Gotcha, I appreciate the advice. I can get over the physical symptoms and depressed bullshit but it's the mental fog that's killing me, I feel sort of caged like a rat and really anxious, can''t think straight. Oh well, I suppose my body will thank me eventually. Also, I do you think vaping will ruin my progress/make things more difficult for me?
Anonymous
Should I stay or should I go? 2016-09-06 20:52:36 Post No.17539733
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Should I stay or should I go? 2016-09-06 20:52:36 Post No.17539733
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: images65YA04F6.jpg (6KB, 299x168px) Image search:
[Google]
6KB, 299x168px
Should I stay or should I go?
Anonymous
2016-09-06 20:52:36
Post No. 17539733
[Report]
[View this topic]
>tl;dr Should I move away from my family at the time they might need me the most?
For the last few years I've been depressed, but I've been able to manage myself quite well and hide it from all friends/family whilst functioning at a high level. This year I'd been hoping to move somewhere new, get a good job, get my social life back, maybe even find a gf. My family has been a good source of strength for me, but because of my age (23) it's definitely time to move on.
However, last week something happened which is going to put my family through hell. Without going into what it was (it isn't really important for my question), the consequences will be as follows: my parents will divorce or at least have huge problems, my younger siblings will be bullied at school, the people my family have known all our lives will change their opinion of us and not want to know us anymore. Life is about to get very difficult for us, and I already know that some family members are struggling to cope.
(1/2)
7 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
File: images65YA04F6.jpg (10KB, 299x168px) Image search:
[Google]
10KB, 299x168px
So it's looking like my life isn't going to get better any time soon. The people I've known all my life will either turn against me or find it very awkward to talk to me now. I'll probably also have to leave my job. If I stay at home with my family, I'll probably become even more socially isolated than I have been.
Fortunately though, I have the opportunity to earn decent money remotely. I can literally live pretty much anywhere I want to (as long as it has an internet connection). I don't have to be trapped in my hometown, which will become horrible for me, I can start a new life wherever I want to. But that would mean leaving my family at a time when they might really need me for support. Obviously I'd always be available to them by phone/email, but that's not the same thing as being there in-person. I don't want to leave them when the family is already under pressure and disintegrating - but at the same time, I've been really unhappy the way I've lived the last few years, and I really need a fresh start somewhere new.
So what should I do? Any advice from anyone who has faced a similarly difficult situation?
>>
We need clarification on what will cause your family hell. Maybe some anons have dealt with it, don't be a stranger here and divulge all information crucial to your post.
>>
>>17539768
Without going into too much detail, a family member was recently arrested. This family member was well-known in the local community. The alleged crime is one that has an incredibly negative social stigma. Regardless of whether this person is guilty or not (I have no idea) and whether or not the case goes to trial and what the outcome of that trial will be, the story will be reported on the front page of the local news (it might make the national news too, but as a relatively small story). When that happens, it's going to be very tough. Maybe a very select few people we knew will come to us and give us support, but the vast majority will talk behind our backs, assume at least some guilt ('"there's no smoke without fire"), and not want to be associated with us anymore.
It's an open investigation, and there's a chance (albeit a very slim one) that the posts I make alone could be retrieved later on to be used in the case, so for that reason I don't want to say any more about it. So please don't try and guess what the alleged crime was or anything like that, because I won't reply. But hopefully that provides more information by way of context.
File: images.jpg (11KB, 183x275px) Image search:
[Google]
11KB, 183x275px
Whenever I give my friend advice she seems to brush it off and not care. It's annoying. And whenever I address my own concerns she seems to not care.
For example, last night she wanted someone to talk to about her breakup and I was with her all night. The previous day I talked to her about my problems and she just laughed and brushed it off.
What do I do?
24 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17539624
either talk to her about she's being a cunt or find a better friend.
>>
>>17539624
Does she ask for advice?
Maybe she just wants someone to listen to her.
She probably doesn't care about you all that much, tho.
>>
>>17539636
She always does ask and I help her a ton. And I tell her I care about her a lot so it pisses me off