So I'm 21 and in the process of joining the military which I might not be able to get in seeing how I used to take adderall when I was like 13. I want to go to college and get a career, but I don't know what for. I pretty much have no really big interests on what I want to do with my life after awhile I change interests. Working seems like the most painful thing to do and I hate it. I just have no idea what to do with my life. I don't want to be a failure and regret shit (even though I already am). I guess I don't have much passion for things. I just don't want to end up like my father who pretty much did nothing with himself.
You know you dont have to tell the military that you were perscribed anything. Your recruiter is shit. You're supposed to lie.
>>17538381
Yeah I know he is.
>>17538381
This.
Also could be worse. You seem pretty good off.
If things get worse, then better you will appreciate little things like bed, food, water.
It'll be cool
How do I stop seeing cheating as an inevitability in a relationship? Obviously, it's always possible, but I can't shake the feeling with partners that one day - someday - they'll cheat. I've never even been cheated on, but I can't shake it.
I'm in a great relationship atm and I still feel like this. I think it's from reading so much shit online and seeing friends get destroyed by cheating, like it's a way of protecting myself from if it happens.
I don't express or show this insecurity in a relationship, so it isn't negatively effecting it par se, it just makes me so anxious and alone sometimes. Is it low self-esteem? A disbelief in human intelligence? I dunno.
How do I get more positive about the long-term possibilities of relationships?
They may or may not cheat nothing you can do about it...is one way to look at it.
Or the other is to trust your partner and be happy you are in a relationship. That stars aligned for you two to be together and petty thoughts of cheating is nothing more than your insecurity trying to sabotage your relationship.
I struggled with this same issue after I got cheated on in my first relationship. Couldn't even imagine dating anyone again for three years, let alone get serious. Then I met someone I actually feel like I can trust. That's my advice: Don't settle for someone, but find someone you actually feel like you can trust not to cheat on you. Obviously, I'm still a bit paranoid on occasion that it could happen, but of it happens, then it happens and there's nothing I can do about it. I decided to trust him, because I genuinely feel like I can. It's been a relief. I suppose it's a mental process really, stopping being scared and worried all the time.
>>17538366
Surely you are not the only person on this planet who would never cheat. In fact, I know you are not because I am the same, so that's two. Surely there are more. All you need, then, is to find someone like us in this way.
>I don't express or show this insecurity in a relationship, so it isn't negatively effecting it par se,
Yes, it is, because it is affecting you. That's a strain even if your partner can't see it. But it can't be fixed unless both partners can see it, so you need to find a way to express it. That's a delicate matter, but there is no way out that involves keeping it hidden.
Few months ago I met some girl online, she was in a different country. Really, really connected well, talked all day every day, wanted to be in contact with her forever, thought about meeting her one day. As someone who has never had a girlfriend, and never really had any female affection in real life, she made me feel on top of the world with her mannerisms, she was very clingy. Always asking if I'm upset with her, on the second day of talking I told her about an education path I'm gonna get into, first thing she asks is "Will you still be able to talk to me?", one day I got a little annoyed at something she said, I started acted distant and passive to get some petty bullshit revenge, next day she tells me she couldn't sleep, she's crying on the phone call, said she worries about our correspondence all the time, etc etc, you get the picture, very clingy and I feel like there'll never be someone so attached again.
So it was never supposed to be "le online relationship", she even called me a friend once, and one of the times I said that I want to be in a relationship with her, she said "well we can't do much about it now", however, our actual conversations seemed to be more than friendly chats, always talking about how we miss each other, how we're so happy talking with each other, etc etc. She frequently mentioned in passing that I should come to her country, and once when I told her if I knew her in real life I'd want her to be my girl, she said something like "well come here so we can have a real relationship then". So mixed signals on that front.
1/?
But the reason I'm writing to you guys today is because I royally fucked it up. After browsing this site for a while I have a bit of a fucked up mentality with regard to "alpha/beta" and shit like that, plus I'm generally a very insecure person. I started treating her like shit more and more, ignoring her and acting distant a lot of the time, etc etc, really making her feel like shit. Well one day I went way too far and suddenly this was the straw that broke the camel's back. She removed all contact from me, I sent loads of fucking cringy long emails, she replied back a couple of times, one of them saying that she'll think about coming back, didn't hear back from her for a month, I send lots more bullshit, and finally she writes back with a letter that's pretty final and basically removes any possibility of her wanting to be in contact again.
Now I fucked it up back in June, and this final letter of hers was last month. I cannot get her out of my head, whatever I do, I think of her. Whatever the fuck I come across, I will somehow be reminded of her. Don't even get me started on how I feel when I see something from her country. Really fucks me up. I feel like I will never find anyone like her again, and that I would've had the opportunity for a lifelong relationship, meeting and marrying her one day, and then I fucked it up. It's eating me inside and I don't know how to stop having these thoughts. I don't know how to cope with it. I genuinely feel like I'd never find someone like her again. Someone who is clingy and attached and wanting of my attention. Then I try to rationalize and thining about how she would have eventually found someone there, she never really found me attractive, etc etc, but I cannot stop thinking about it and feeling regret.
>>17538354
Well, she was clearly into you, but didn't want to have an online relationship because of how hard they are. You end up making yourself vulnerable with next to nothing in return. She was certainly open to the idea if you were serious and had plans to move. No mixed signal there, OP.
>>17538356
That really sucks, for her. I was in this situation before but I was in her shoes. I deeply cared for the person and wanted to be with him until he let his insecurity overtake everything. That opened my eyes to the person he really was and I stood up for myself by calling him out on his actions. Then I blocked him on everything.
Biggest beta fag I ever seen.....jesus christ. Snip off your dick and become a chick you fag. Never cringed more in my life.
Hey /adv/, hope you can help me. My boyfriend, whom I've known for 6 years, is starting to act somewhat odd. We've had 2 arguments just the past few weeks and last night it all tensed up and ended rather badly.
We hadn't spoken as much as usual and I asked him if he felt like everything was going well with us, he had no complaints, so I left it at that. The following day he had a routine checkup after a rib injury, he didn't tell me until much later and I got a bit iffy because I really felt like he was starting to slip away from me when it came to talking and telling. He said he didn't see it as a big deal and that he wasn't one to "complain about things all the time" - I ended up apologizing for getting iffy because I got nowhere with trying to make my point.
Now yesterday, I was renovating the bathroom and I slipped, banged by head on the tub and went to the ER, it was nothing, just a bump and a bruise, so I got back and started working again. We chatted in the evening and I just said I had a minor fall, nothing big etc. I was out of the ER in less than a minute. And he lost it. He literally blew up in my face and got very rude, started lecturing me about that I had gotten iffy with him and that I should have told him right away and he pretty much repeated every point I had tried to make to him last weekend.
He said he was pissed off with me and the lecturing ended with me going to bed.
We haven't spoken today.
So what the hell is going on here? I'm beyond confused.... Please, refrain from making spiteful comments.
>>17538346
From his perspective, after everything that had happened, it looks like you were trying to get back at him by not telling him immediately. So your actions, even if they weren't passive aggressive, look to be that way. There's a pretty big difference in severity between a routine check-up and a trip to the ER.
>We hadn't spoken as much as usual and I asked him if he felt like everything was going well with us
>I got a bit iffy because I really felt like he was starting to slip away from me when it came to talking and telling
Do you think that maybe you're just thinking that things are bad, when they're not, and it's irritating him? The constant need for validation? He may feel like you're attacking him.
>>17538346
Gender sterotypes - men don't want to look weak and complain, but they sure as hell want to protect their loved ones and are concerned about their health
It's not really logical.
Also, while what you did made sense, from your view, from his view it might seem hypocritical because you started an argument about the very same thing yourself.
>>17538346
He is hitting up more chicks than Chris Brown on a bad mood.
Basically living in England this year. Meet this nice woman(my age I'm 22). Dresses sporty like I do and we spoke for a bit. I kinda like her but when I went to where I was going my buddy was like " oi m8 datt there was a scallie m8".. So I looked this up and its basically British youth who dress in tracksuits? I didn't get that vibe from her although we did talk about rap music a bit but w.e....please tell me there is a sub group that just dresses in sports gear that aren't what a scallie is.
>>17538338
Which part of England?
>>17538338
>scallie
it's just the last of the non cuck white ppl in England
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orTi-PUXXy4
>>17538384
Yeah I didn't get this vibe from her.
So all of a sudden I'm gay now?
I got my ear pierced, thinking "oh, i'm right handed." cause i'm comfortable with that side.
Next thing I know, the guys are telling me "oh the right ear's gay." Then others telling me the left. What in the fuck is going on?
>>17538337
Just get one for the other ear as well
Getting your ear pierced is only not gay if you're a buff black dude
>>17538337
Right ear was used by gays to identify each other. Now it doesn't really matter but yeah right is gay left is straight
I got herpes from my first partner, who was a virgin but was an invisible carrier of hsv-1. My second and last sexual encounter didn't seem to have anything, but I'm 99% sure I got hpv now as well. I'm a rather goodlooking female and thus get lots of attention, but every time I'm reminded of the fact that I'm disgusting and will never have the freedom to do what I want without dealing with shame, guilt and rejection. Why not just kill myself? The next time I have sex I will probably just get hiv from someone who doesn't have any symptoms anyway
>>17538327
Use fucking protection
there are lots of cucks out there who'd still want you
>>17538327
Also most Hpv infections heal without intervention. Talk to a GYN about it.
I just had the second time in my life where I couldn't get my boner up.
Before I had alcohol to blame it on, now i'm just a faggot.
The look on her face was exactly like a reaction image on 4chan.
I'm very anxious so I think that's what's causing it. I cut down on porn but I guess not enough.
Anyone else have this problem? I feel like a failure.
Also, should I consider asking my doctor about low T? I'm also very depressed and unmotivated
should have just made her suck the boner out. you goofed
>>17538342
im too afraid to ask a girl to suck on my flaccid 2 inch benis
How do I tell my teacher that im afraid to talk in front of my class without sounding like a pussy?
>>17538312
Just say it as it is
You are not the first, nor the last, to have that problem
>>17538321
>Just say it as it is
But do it outside of class.
Teacher here.
Look I appreciate my students coming forward and being honest but under the curriculum I am given, you have to present presentation in front of the class. Asking me if you can privately do it won't cut it. Talking in front of groups is a very important skill going forward, you need to address this. Also, participation marks are a thing so are you going to completely forgo that?
Been awake for a good 28 hours, 'bout to crash while at work. How do i stay awake effectively, anons?
>>17538297
Amphetamine
>>17538297
Sleeping before going to work will prevent you crashing at work. Pro Tip. Life Hack. Etc.
>>17538304
Can't do drugs m8, got off a heavy cocain adiction around a year ago.
>>17538765
Thanks dude, but the question here is how to stay awake at work when you haven't been able to sleep for 28hours. Going home in half an hour, everything worked out after i got the usual endorphine high you get fromsleep deprevation.
I'd still like to get some advice on this topicthough,as it's a reoccurring problem for me.
Sup /adv/
What does it mean if a girl asks you if you're jealous?
Basically a couple of my med-fag female friends went away for 4 weeks to a rural hospital to do their rotation there. They were staying with a few other guys and girls who also go to the same hospital as me.
When they came back to visit me over the weekend, they started talking about one of the dudes (I'll call him Jacob) from our hospital who went over to the rural hospital as well.
They would say things like 'Oh, Jacob says the funniest things, he's so witty, he's so cute, blah blah blah'.
Then one of them turns to me, her eyes light up and is all like 'Anon! Are you jealous?!?' XD. The expression on my face had not changed markedly before this, nor was I questioning them in great detail about him.
I'm just like sitting there thinking 'wtf? We're friends and she's asking me if I'm jealous'.
She later explained that she meant that I was jealous that he is now their friend as well. But even in that context, asking me if I'm jealous that they have a new male friend makes no sense... right? Considering she has other male friends too.
So about a week later when she comes back again, I decide to tease her and say 'So how is your new bf Jacob going?'. She immediately gets excited and blurts out 'ANON!! Are you threatened?!?'
Similar thing again happened on facebook. I made a comment like that and she accuses me of being jealous. And her other two friends start laughing and going 'N'AWWWW'
Keep in mind that I have a gf that she knows about too.
So what do you think. The fuck does she think about me??
Is she just saying that cause she likes me? She is quite an extroverted girl though. So i'm not sure.
>>17538273
I forgot to add that later I confronted her about it, and was like 'lol, you totally like me' 'You're so full of shit, who asks their friends if they're jealous or threatened about other dudes?'
And she's denying it, then later says that its sad that I think that.
Does she really not like me? Not even sure.
>>17538273
>>17538283
need answers. this shit is starting to drive me insane
If she's quite an extroverted girl as you said, that kind of stuff is just how she talks. She makes small jokes as a way to make conversation more entertaining and doesn't think much of it.
My ex gave me herpes 1 a year ago - literally the cold sore virus, almost certainly transferred during a blowjob
I recently started seeing someone new, we've had sex but only with protection, and I haven't let her go down on me
I need to tell her about it, obviously, but I'm not sure how, and I'm very scared it will turn her off me or ruin things
Some facts I need to tell her when I do tell her:
>doctor said I can only transfer it if I have active symptoms, which is very rare (once a year tops)
>it's literally the cold sore virus, but less contagious bc it doesn't belong in the genitals
>at least 70% of the population has the virus already, most people just don't know they have it bc no symptoms
>it's actually not that bad - just means at worst 1 week a year where there's a couple little scabs on my shaft
>obviously still a slight risk and I wouldn't want to give it to her
How do I bring it up? How do I make it clear that it's not that bad/contagious? I really like this girl and would be so shattered if this ruined things
>>17538269
dont have sex with her until ur cured,
>>17538281
it's the cold sore virus m8 it's incurable
tl;dr Girlfriend wants me to prove my love and I don't know how
>date girl for 5 years
>terrible break up, sleep around and do a lot of drinking for a year
>get my life in order, get over ex and become friends
>no feelings for her, become good friend
>meet new girl, she's amazing
>date for about 2 years before I tell her about my past, she's not happy
>also tell her that I used to date my friend
>we don't break up, but take some time apart
>talking with her, tell her that I love her and want her back
>she says she can't trust that I won't go back to my friend
>wants me to prove that I would chose her over the ex
What do I do? Does she want me to cut off my friend/ex completely? I think I can do that, but do I say anything to the ex/friend?
>>17538266
cut the ex off. You don't have to say anything just stop talking to her. I don't get why you haven't already.
>>17538266
just cut the ex off
When my wife and I were dating, we had a policy: if you try to force your partner to choose between you and an existing friendship, you lose. It has served us well.
Truth be told, I believe that I broke this rule once. This isn't a quote, but what I said was along the lines of "I'm sorry, because I know what forcing a choice means, and I know what happens next: I'm going to lose. But I can't handle this current situation, and I don't know what else to do." She saw this differently from me: I was being honest about something I couldn't handle, without becoming controlling BECAUSE I expected to lose. And so we worked things out, and we are still together, and stronger for having been tested this way.
I do not recommend that couples rush to go out and get tested like this. It is brutal stuff, and some relationships would not survive it. Besides, life will throw plenty of tests your way, if you let it. But it worked for us.
Hey /adv/, I need to get a hair cut badly and not sure what kind I should get.
Guy here btw
>>17538237
depends on how you want to look. Do you want to look like a guy? Then you should at least get rid of that fringe.
You would make a very attractive female. But back to the point you could go for a david beckham look.
You look like a chick.....
>shes online
>Hasn't responded
I hate this feel so much
Why cant she just fucking answer I mean Christ
>>17538225
More details pls
>>17538229
Just a qt I met on POF and we exchanged a few messages then I asked if she was interested and she didn't respond
9 hours later shes online and still hasn't responded
Should I say please respond?
>>17538236
>9 hours later shes online and still hasn't responded
She is most likely not interested or just busy replying to all the other possible cocks she will gobble during the weekend. You will come off as needy with all that messaging senpai
I'd recommend skipping this one