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I'm reading the book no more mr nice guy and he says:
"Because Nice Guys do not believe they are OK just as they are, they find a multitude of ways to
convince themselves and others that they are lovable and desirable. They may focus on something about
themselves (physical appearance, talent, intellect), something they do (act nice, dance well, work hard),
or even something external to themselves (attractive wife, cute child, nice car) in order to get value and
win other's approval."
Basically saying that, getting a good job, working hard, developing talents are all ways of us trying to impress people, and he claims trying to impress people is bad. So taking this logic, if I were to stop trying to impress people, why on earth would I go work hard to get that promotion that would just make me foolish?
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Strawman. You should do those things because you want to (if you want to), not to impress people. You get a promotion because you want to get paid more, not because you want to get laid
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The idea is to do things ultimately for yourself. Get a good job, work hard, develop talents, etc. for your own sake and not for others'. In your example, you'd go work hard to get that promotion because you want that promotion for yourself, instead of doing so for others' approval. The whole point is not to stop doing things, but to do them for the right reasons since that creates a self-esteem virtuous cycle.
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Youre right, if you dont like your job then fuck it, work as hard as you have to to get by. But there's plenty of reasons why you would work hard. I actually like my job so i naturally work hard so one day i can start my own business. Not because itll impress people but because i like being my own boss and controlling my own life.
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I would like any advice even if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
I just started art school for game design and I really like it so far. I plan to go into the character art/ design aspect of the industry. However, I feel like I'm going to become a starving artist once I graduate. To counter this, I realized that the future is in high demand of coders. so do you guys think I should learn coding while I'm in school to give myself more security? Or should I just stick with game design, and just have a bunch of internships so I can almost guarantee a dream job in character art?
Here's my artstation in case you guys were interested: https://swaggernaut64.artstation.com
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You should always learn programming, and learn it thoroughly. With that skills you will always at any point be able to find a job without even trying. Having said that, you should still put more focus and effort into what your passion is, because if you work hard enough at anything, you will become successful. Coding should be a backup skill in case the other thing ends up not working out for you.
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>>17597104
I hear ya, what language would you recommend?
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>>17597092
I haven't googled it, but I think there will always be a high demand for game art. 3d modelers especially.
Full disclosure: I'm a programmer for a living
I don't think you really need to learn how to code if you want to focus on art. I'd switch to a computer graphic design type program if that's available. A game design degree sounds wishy-washy to me, but idk.
I find coding incredibly fun. Every popular language exists for a specific purpose. Personally, I think C++ is the most useful, bestest, language overall. BUT it is a language meant for professionals. It is big and complicated.
Languages like common lisp and java were built to fit a paradigm. I fucking hate java with every bone in my body, but corporate bosses love it. I absolutely love lisp, but it has a very narrow use case.
C/C++ is the best for games. Though I hear games use a lot of scripting languages like Lua.
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-Brahmi
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shampoo( wash Hair every 2-3 days)
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Clarifying Shampoo
leave in Deep Conditioner
Curly Hair Masks Treatments
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Use Smooth Satin Pillow Case
Do this, you will Never loose your Hair, you will have Hair Regrowth, and Your hair will be Super Thick, Full, Dark and Shiny for the rest of your life.
For EyeLashes and Eyebrows....
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If thats not your thing be Animus.
For LipsMaxing...
-All above "BoneStructureMaxing" for Wide Lips to get
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Optimal Upward&Forwards Maxilla Position/ Forward Growth,
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-all Type SkinMaxing for Soft Shiny Smooth Pink Lips
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>Looksmaxing
fucking autists, basic hygiene isn't an unlockable skill in your video game
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>>17597106
Says you, I just got back from farming the club
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This is amazing. Do you have any resources I could visit or look into about it more, for males of course?
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is it okay that i don't want to tell my bf my sexual history?
i am not a slut, but i had sex with 2 guys. by age 23.
i just don't like talking or thinking about it and i don't want him to ask me if i gave them bj or what ever...
i think if he had sex with a lot of girls i'd also not know.
so anyway, i told him i did stuff (and he knows i am not virgin), but, i don't want to say with how many and what.
is that okay? should i feel bad for not "being honest"?
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If he wants to know, you should tell him. Trust is important in a relationship. You don't have to go into gruesome detail about. But if what you told him is enough then you're good.
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>>17597033
2 is nothing lol, I know a girl that is 21 and she had 4 but they were all in relationships with her boyfriends throughout the years. Were the 2 guys boyfriends or hook ups?
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>>17597033
If you really don't want to tell him, you don't have to, but you also can't control how he feels. If he decides he doesn't like that answer, you can't really control that, whether it's a deal breaker is up to him.
Personally, I don't ask. The less I know the better. The only thing that matters to me is here and now, but some people don't feel that way.
Also, idk why you would be embarrassed or ashamed, 2 guys by age 23 is basically as rare as being a virgin for women by that age anyway
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Just started my first year of Uni and I am looking to go into a career that works with chemistry. Can /adv/ help me decide?
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Chemical Engineering
Environmental Engineering
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>>17596970
these
just don't do pure chemistry
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>>17596965
Chem Eng
That's pretty much it
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I've been in a sexual relationship with three women for the better part of the month. I've been with one for about six months but the other two came along very recently, one as recent as two weeks ago. They don't know about each others' existence. I turn my phone off when out with one, and always make sure to go to the gym around a meeting to cover up the scent.
How long could I conceivably keep this going? My career is kind of going down the toilet but this is such a rush.
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it sucks long term
I'm juggling 4
messing with people's emotions is sad
break it off and get fwb
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>they don't know about each other
easy mode. man up and be honest, faggot. You can still juggle chicks without lying to them.
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>>17596959
>messing with people's emotions is sad
It's pretty sad but I'm legitimately interested in their problems and buying them stuff. I just have two other girls that I like to spend time with. I'd be a great polygamist.
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>Married over 5 years. Wife teacher.
>Yesterday student texts after class asking help with school project saying: Mam, I already bought the brand of condoms you like for you to help me with the project... why don't you know when we can meet? I will fetch you after work... plssss Lets have sex again... I miss u so much... I need u now... plssss mam
>It's a 16yo kid from highschool... I know him. He even saw us together last week but my wife tells him I'm neither father nor husband nor boyfriend but just a family friend that will be leaving next month and they can have sex next month, Oct 16... and the dumass swallows anything she says.
>I get deeply disturbed
>Wake up today and woman asks: Why are you like that? If you are going to behave strangely, it's not my fault.
WTF /adv/?????????????? A fuckin kid.
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Your wife is cheating on you
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report the crime anonymously, see what the police find.
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damn dude lol, that's pretty fucked up. I hope you get through it okay.
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Any internet psychologists on tonight?
I am 20,broke and still living at home. My mom constantly talks to herself and screams FUCK,FUCK,FUCK all day. She's convinced people are coming into her house and taking her stuff. Stuff as minor as pens,a baby tooth and even beef from the freezer. Nothing I do can convince her otherwise.
Not that it would matter however. Every time we have a discussion,my brother will come out of his room and start screaming and insulting me. Despite the fact he physically and verbally abuses her, he feels a need to defend her honor whenever I talk(regularly) to her. Similar to how a toddler cries at night when they want attention.this is how it is with my brother. My mom immediately starts screaming when he acts up.I have told my mother he does this to get her attention,but she doesn't seem to care. This behavior would be abnormal for any child,but he is 17 and still a huge mama's boy.
How fucked am I ? About ready to kms to just be done with this bullshit.
How do I deal with this?
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>>17596931
bump
plz help me
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mental illness, the fuck anyone on here is going to be able to diagnose it, but it doesn't matter. Leave the situation completely fucking immediately. Maybe you can help them later on, but you've got to be able to take care of yourself first.
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>>17596931
Your family is fucked up
Start studying a hard topic instead of playing vidya and watching movies and jacking off, so you can get a good job. I suggest a programming job
Just start becoming financially independent so you can move the fuck out. Your mom and bro are both fucked up.
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So I basically have this great fondness/affection for young boys, but let me explain what I mean by that. It's not sexual at all, but rather this feeling of wishing I could be around them or even be one again myself.
When I was a little kid, I never had any friends. I remember always feeling incredibly lonely and wishing I had friends or siblings (I'm an only child too) or anyone to play with. I continued to be pretty much friendless through the years and even today I don't have anybody I would ever call a close friend.
As I grew up, those feelings and desires only became stronger, but I learned to ignore/hide them because I didn't want anybody to know. I feel like over the years I've withdrawn a lot from the world emotionally, probably as a defense mechanism in an attempt to bottle up these feelings.
Meanwhile (I don't even know if this is relevant but) I've never had a successful romantic relationship in my life, and I've only ever had sex with prostitutes just to see what it feels like. I think I've become so emotionally guarded that I'm incapable of even having a relationship with anybody anymore. I'm straight when it comes to physical attraction btw.
I couldn't even imagine wanting to have sex with a minor or hurt anybody. But deep down inside I do have this repressed desire to be around and play with and even cuddle with young boys, because they just seem so cute and lovable to me. I just wish I could be affectionate towards them.
Obviously this will never happen though, so I've more or less accepted it and don't ever really think about it. But when I'm in a situation where I'm around boys (which is pretty rare honestly), I can't help but at least think about those desires again.
So does all of this make me a pedophile? Personally, having these feelings make me uncomfortable just being around children, so I pretty much avoid them as much possible.
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You sound like Michael Jackson, he didn't get to have a childhood so it expressed itself as wanting to be a kid again. His older brothers would bring girls back to the hotel room and tell michael to hide under the covers while they fucked the girls, his dad beat him, etc...
Do you have sexual attraction to boys? If yes ur a pedo with issues. If no you just have issues
in any case if you find the right therapist that can help you immensely
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No, I don't think you're a pedophile. It makes sense that you'd feel this way. It's fine as long as you never act on it; that would be weird and not ok. I can see why you'd develop an emotional thing like this given your childhood.
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Yes. Stay away from little kids you scum.
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Parents are getting divorced, cant look at my father the same way again because of what he caused for the last 2 years of constant lying and cheating,Is it right for me to never speak to him again?I'm old enough to understand but not enough to know how to feel here.
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>>17596910
How old are you? Legitimate question
It's not right for you to treat him that way. Maybe your mom is an actual frigid bitch and that's why he cheats. You don't know the story
He's your dad OP, he's going to lose your mom and he WILL regret it even if he seems he doesn't love her since he is cheating. Don't let him lose you too anon
Both of your parents need your support
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>>17596980
24
I had to separate both of them from fighting after mom cornered him with questioning.I know the story I was in it,kinda hard not to be.
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faggot, I had to step in to stop fights between my parents when I was twelve. Your parents are people - normal, flawed adults. Do what you want, but there's never just one side at fault.
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Ok so new to problem to me: My gf is a woman child. She's older than me (4 years) and hasn't really dated since high school, she's a virgin and never even seen a dick until mine. MY issues are with her though, she's very clingy (to be fair i expected this) but she also in general when it comes to intimate things she acts like i would expect a child to, in the sense she looks really nervous when i look in her eyes (or rather her eye because she has a lazy eye), or she just giggles a bunch when kissing. And when we watch a movie she laughs at the most juvenile stuff and yeah my sense of humor needs a bit of depth or is different than most, but she just seems immature to me especially in a relationship. My question to you guys is: wtf do i do about this? All this shit kinda annoys me and i want to hear some advice or similar stories, maybe like a light at the end of the tunnel idk.
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>>17596879
Why don't you have her call you daddy while you rail her from behind and pull her hair? Then you can feed her daddies cummies! As a child she'll love that.
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>>17596899
Another thing: she's like dead serious about being scared of sex. She likes when i eat her out but winces when i put a tip of my finger in her so i'm really not even getting much out of this relationship but now my dad is making me date her "because she's a nice girl"
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you obviously dont like being with her
you should just break it off
maybe she'll mature more when you rip her heart out of her chest
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How does one approach women without coming off as a creep?
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jby
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Become "Joker Baby"
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Always start with a pickup line.
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Really bitter about being single and women in general. Does meditation work? Or is it yoga-pants science?
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bump
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>>17596864
Nothing you can really do about that bitterness man. Look at it this way: If you were really dating material you wouldn't really have to work hard to attract women, now would you? Wouldn't you say there are several things in your life you need to work on in order to be attractive to a woman? I think if you're expecting a 10/10 beauty to just fall into your lap your mistaken.
Why not work on some of those bad habits and problem areas about yourself? Focus on some things that you believe are hindering you from being successful with women and do them. For instance, look nice. Smell nice. Put some effort in your look. Clean up your living space. Be more outgoing and engaging. Risk more.
Make the focus more on you, what are you doing wrong and what are some steps to correct it?
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>>17596895
The problem is...a 10/10 beauty DID fall in my lap but we both moved to separate places, and it's never happened since.
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Just started school at Seattle U. Place is seething with SJW bullshit. Anyway, does college get less stressful/manageable? This feel like insanity.
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>>17596843
You're a freshman? It only gets harder from here.
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>>17596843
what's your major?
i fucking hate college. i'm on my third attempt, finally almost done. if you're going for a technical degree, it will get harder, and the only way to deal with it is to have a good attitude. not easy to do while you're dealing with your own adolescent delusions about yourself and society, and surrounded by perfect asshats that only have ten neurons but somehow manage to solve differential equations and get all the hot chicks.
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>>17596843
Join us. Jooooiiiiiin us.
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Is it possible to dye of autism ??? I have mos friends n I hate myself. Everyone hates me . Thanks don't know what you so worthy my life
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How? Hello?
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second guy on the left thinks hes in gears of war lol
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I want thaiboys jacket