I'm reading the book no more mr nice guy and he says: "Because

Strawman. You should do those things because you want to (if you want to), not to impress people. You get a promotion because you want to get paid more, not because you want to get laid

The idea is to do things ultimately for yourself. Get a good job, work hard, develop talents, etc. for your own sake and not for others'. In your example, you'd go work hard to get that promotion because you want that promotion for yourself, instead of doing so for others' approval. The whole point is not to stop doing things, but to do them for the right reasons since that creates a self-esteem virtuous cycle.

Youre right, if you dont like your job then fuck it, work as hard as you have to to get by. But there's plenty of reasons why you would work hard. I actually like my job so i naturally work hard so one day i can start my own business. Not because itll impress people but because i like being my own boss and controlling my own life.

>>17597116
>Basically saying that, getting a good job, working hard, developing talents are all ways of us trying to impress people, and he claims trying to impress people is bad. So taking this logic, if I were to stop trying to impress people, why on earth would I go work hard to get that promotion that would just make me foolish?

He makes a good argument there though, lots of ppl do try hard at many aspects in life because they want to impress others when instead they should be working on themselves and cultivating self growth.

You can read between the lines and think for yourself... Not everyone follows this pattern and at the end of the day it's the author's point of view so it's up to you wether you agree with it or not.

>>17597116
Sounds like a crappy book, unless he has some weird redefinition of Nice Guys.

Approval seeking is a common problem because insecurity is a common problem. It has nothing to do with how nice you are. Or how materialistic you are.

>>17597154
It's by no means a crappy book. However it does feel like the tyler durden handbook, and in my opinion he makes things seem a bit black and white.

>unless he has some weird redefinition of Nice Guys.

I can see where you'd be confused without context. He's basically saying that one of the downfalls of a nice guy is he's always doing things for other people instead of himself, always seeking approval, he's not saying thats the definition of a "NiceGuy" but essentially a character trope.

>>17597154
>weird redefinition of Nice Guys
He's talking about the Beta Bitch Boys that try to get girls by being nice, instead of acting like confident alpha males.

>>17597210
throw away the term alpha, throw away the term confident.

No "alpha" or "confident" person even uses those cringey words.

Just call it being a person who does what the fuck he feels like doing