Anonymous
hey /adv/ hope someone can help me here 2016-09-18 03:26:38 Post No.17579337
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hey /adv/ hope someone can help me here 2016-09-18 03:26:38 Post No.17579337
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hey /adv/ hope someone can help me here
Anonymous
2016-09-18 03:26:38
Post No. 17579337
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So got a weird one for ya. my gf cries more than she poops. its kinda worrying, she eats well just never shits. she would tell me if she did as we are bizarrely comfortable together. but now the crying she will cry over the most crazy of things. she has work early tommorow morning and i didnt want to be a pest so i told her im gonna have a wank (i know now saying that was probably wrong) and she started crying. but most the time she comes up to me crying for literally no reason. she also cries when she gets too happy. i just want to know what i can do to comfort her? or shall i just keep telling her to let it out? also does she need laxatives? is there a correlation?
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>>17579337
She isn't pooping because she isn't eating enough fibre and vegetables - simple fact.
The over expression of emotions can be countered by not engaging with them. If she's only crying around you it's because she's trying to elicit a response from you - be it compassion, guilt, comfort - what have you. Just don't engage and don't encourage her when she kicks up and eventually she'll realize that the behaviour is counterproductive when she isn't getting what she wants.
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I don't have much experience with this kind of person. The one person I know who is like this is very nice. The frequent crying might be a bad sign for her mental health.
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>>17579337
Encourage her to seek the assistance of a doctor and a mental health professional.
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A few weeks ago I went to a bar and this beautiful girl was in the band that was playing. She played two nights in a row, and on the second night I was there she came up to me and thanked me for coming to both shows, we talked a bit, etc. At the end of the night she told me to add her on fb. The next day I did. She never accepted and I stopped thinking about it (mostly).
Last night I went to the bar and she was playing again. She came up and tried to say something to me but her male bandmate pulled her away and they kind of argued about something, all I caught was "Now is not the time for this." So later that night I went up to ask her what she said to me. She was just thanking me for coming out again, but we talked for like 5 minutes (mainly about her music and stuff) until some fuck that she already knew came up and interrupted and she turned her attention to him.
I started talking to this guy who turned out to be this girl's roommate. He was cool and we hit it off, said we'd check out each other's music, just shot the shit, etc for a while. At closing time, before I knew he was her roommate, the bartender started kicking non-band people out so I was standing outside with this dude and told him I needed to go back in and ask this girl out but I couldn't because of the bartender (which was true, he was very set on people leaving). That's when he told me he lived with her, and I asked him to not mention what I said and he said it was cool. So I went home and woke up today to see that she finally accepted my friend request.
I am really bad at talking through text, especially with someone I barely know, so I need to get face to face as soon as possible. I just have no idea how to even start a conversation with her. Can anyone help me? Any fb Chads out there that know how to handle this? Right now my plan is either to wait until I see her at the bar again or to message her tomorrow something like "Hey, how's it going? I really enjoyed the show the other night"
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Hey OP,
Texting with a girl you don't really know is actually so much easier than one you do know. You can literally talk about whatever you want man.
Your text example was good but I think you need to make it a bit more interesting/funny than asking how it's going. Maybe ask if she gets a lot of male groupies and just continue talking from there on about things. You gotta make it look like you don't really put effort in it to make her like you via text but more just light conversation and when that is at a high point ask her when her next show will be.
Sorry for kinda shit advice, my English isn't very good.
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>>17579422
Thanks for your thoughts. My biggest problem through text is definitely not being casual enough, I always overthink things and sound way too formal. Even if I'm texting a guy it's like that, unless it's one of my few close friends
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>>17579498
It's no problem to overthink it. Just don't make it seem like that and make it look like you just typed something up and sent it.
If you want to be more casual just try to tease her a bit.
>Just don't do something like:
Dear X,
long message and bullshit.
Sincerely,
You
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How much will my quality of life improve if I completely ignore all women? I'm really sick of their shit.
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It'll greatly decrease, because it's hard to go about your day to day life if you're ignoring half the population.
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>>17579308
mostly this. not even for his reason, but in ignoring them you still give them all the power. you're doing this because of them, essentially FOR them.
and the entire time you'll be thinking about htem, and how you cant get one and blah blah blah.
you need a healthy relationsihp with the world as a whole, and women are a part of that
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We're equally as sick of yours.
Fuck off and take this shit to /r9/ery.
Anonymous
Girl only emails me every 24 hours? 2016-09-18 03:13:41 Post No.17579287
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Girl only emails me every 24 hours? 2016-09-18 03:13:41 Post No.17579287
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Girl only emails me every 24 hours?
Anonymous
2016-09-18 03:13:41
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Hey /adv/ hope you're having a good night. So I've been emailing with this girl from a school activity (doesn't matter which one) and I didn't have her number so I just used her university email address (which I've never sent anything to directly but our professors send group emails to us so it's not like I stalked her to get it or anything) and asked some questions about the things we need to turn in. I had grown to like her over the time we had spent so I segued the emails into casual friendly conversation. We made a lot of jokes and started talking shit about the program we're in, etc. It was great but after a few days then I noticed that she only emails me back around 24 hours. So I might send her something at 11pm and she won't reply until like 10pm the next day. I was planning on trying to get her number the next time we meet in person but until then this is kind of annoying. I'm 90% sure she doesn't have a job or a huge schedule, so surely she must be able to respond sooner, right? Also, it's her university email, so presumably she would check it at least a couple times a day for news and class info and stuff. Am I overanalayzing this? She keeps asking me questions and responding to my jokes when she does respond so I don't think that she's trying to send a hint. Is she playing mind games? Because if that's the case then I'm going to feel pretty fucking pissed. I know she has a phone and laptop so it's not like she's cut off from technology either. Anyone have any ideas? I'm more confused than anything else.
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When I take ages to email (or text) back, it's normally because I'm not that interested in the conversation but don't want to be rude.
>inb4 "why don't you just tell them that you're not interested"
Because "I don't want to talk to you" is even ruder
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>>17579287
Aren't you supposed to be working on a project?
Stop worrying about the skirt and focus on the class, nimrod.
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>>17579305
But there's a lot of ways to end a conversation without being a dick. Like "Just in case you were wondering why I respond so late, I've been really busy lately so I might not be able to talk." Or something similar.
Is that so hard?
>>17579321
You don't know me. I set my own pace and work responsibly. And I'll worry about the skirt if I damn well want to. I'm tired of being alone and sexless.
Anonymous
ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-09-18 03:08:47 Post No.17579273
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-09-18 03:08:47 Post No.17579273
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Anonymous
2016-09-18 03:08:47
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.
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Guy here:
How can one tell if a date went poorly? I went on a date with a girl Thursday night. She ended the date by hugging me and saying "Hey we should do this again." Then she texted me when she got home saying "Thanks for the great time :)." I'm just wondered because I haven't heard from her again since then. Thoughts?
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>>17579286
When you say you haven't heard anything, have you made an effort to contact her?
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>>17579292
Besides "liking" a couple tweets of her on Twitter, no. Haven't texted her or anything.
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So, I have an associates degree (AAS), I go to college from 1-4pm monday-friday. Pursuing accounting if that matters. What can I do for a job with the associates degree?
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Do you have any work experience? Anything at all, even if it's not related?
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>>17579276
I have worked as a cashier, and a porter at a dealership. No clubs, or anything in college due to averaging 18 credit hours.
I have experience in fixing cars due to my hobby. (None of it on the books) by experience I mean I can tear down a rotary engine, do bushings, breaks, replace parts (i.e motor mounts, head gaskets, gaskets, you name it, I replace it).
I have fixed computers for a side business (None of it on the books). Diagnosing and replacing hardware (I.E, hard drive, motherboard, lcd, you name it I replace it.) on boh PC and Laptop. Also a lot of software troubleshooting and recommendations.
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>>17579299
I have about 20 regular customers for the computer repair, although it is not sustainable due to the nature of the job. AKA. I would need a bigger customer base to make it my job. Usually I have the same people come back every 1/2 a year, so I earn about $2000 every 6 months.
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I'm ENTJ, my natural talent is logic and math, but I find it boring as fuck (I find math to be lame shit), but I find math to be easy.
My passion though, is art, I love humanities and art, I love music, drawing, painting, and all that emotional shit, even while I'm not a personally emotional person.
I guess I'm going to study software engineering, because I like coding, even while art is my passion.
I just suck at making art, but is my dream.
Is there a way to mix my passion with my natural talent?
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>>17579267
Look up the artwork of M C Escher.
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>>17579267
You're so lucky to have a natural talent for something that brings value to the marketplace. You can go into art later. There are many forms of art that encompass math and logic. Google Jeffrey Steele.
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>>17579267
I feel the same way (ENTJ as well). I do it more as a hobby though . I play an instrument and occasionally write "short" stories .
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Hey guys I've been sick for almost two weeks now. Symptoms are uncontrollable cough, headache, sore body, sore lumpy throat, etc. I went to the doctors four days ago and all they told me was that it would clear up in two days. Its not getting any better though, it's getting worse. It's gotten to the point where I have trouble sleeping at night because I keep coughing. It's hard to swallow food because it irritates my throat. I also literally shit out foam and cloudy water. I don't know what this is and I don't know what to. Please help.
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>>17579237
Before picture
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When you're sick those nodes and shit in the back of your tongue and throat can swell up. They're not really a symptom of anything specific.
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>trusting one doctors opinion
Kek, people die from that all the time
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>vomitting everyday
>break down into tears whenver I'm alone
>irritable around family
>hide away in the background whenever in a group or social setting
>feel mentally flat and like I'm getting stupider
How do I fix this?
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>>17579234
figure out why you are vomitting. how are you not as a doctors office right fucking now?
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>>17579254
I'm afraid to. He'll probably just say It's "nerves" or something.
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Bump? Is this a physical concern? I don't know why it's happening.
Hi /adv/, I've been a security guard at a casino in MS for over 6 years now. I have no chance to move up at all and I probably wouldn't make more money in another department. My question is what can I do with this 6 years of sec experience? I have no military or police background and I've never fired a weapon but I have would have no problem learning how, but I don't really feel savvy about actually getting into the military. And as most of you probably know, MS is a pretty shit kicker state in most regards, not a lot of good employment where I'm located. So what would a good course of action be for me, get some firearm training and get myself a gun permit and just throw my name out there? I really just want to make more money with what I already have a background on.
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No idea.
Bump anyway.
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>>17579257
Pity posts are appreciated.
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>>17579262
Here's another.
Maybe ask /k/ and build in something to do with guns. They're more likely to have people that will have answers. Just keep it weapons or military; you know the drill.
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it's really hard for me to go out with my boyfriend because of my extreme social anxiety. even though i'm under treatment and getting a little better compared to what i used to be, it is still a challenge for me to go out, specially when his friends are with us. i try to act as normal as possible, but yesterday i had a mental breakdown in front of everyone. well, the question is: what would be "okay" activities to do with him while i get used to this? i've never had a boyfriend nor friends so this is all new to me. he understands me but i'm afraid he'll get bored or pissed off.
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Do you know how fucking rare social anxiety is in countries outside America?
What the fuck is wrong with the people we are making that they can't even be around other himabs without losing their shit? What the fuck thing are we doing that is causing this? This seems to be a bigger problem with recent generations, so it has to be something we started doing in the last 50 years.
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>>17579203
What does this mean: "mental breakdown"? Provide more details.
Also, just do what suits you. If he's worth it, he'll be fine. Don't do fake stuff being a fake person where you're all uncomfortable inside for the sake of other people.
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>>17579209
You are not being helpful. There are plenty of places to rant about how shitty American culture is that are more appropriate than this person's advice thread.
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>working lunch shift
>notice that someone is making a sandwich wrong
>try to say "No cheese on the turkey!"
>accidentally say "No cheese on the nigger!"
>fired on the spot
How do I get my job back?
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>>17579177
thats hilarious anon. you dont.
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>>17579177
Get a new one.
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>>17579177
>How do I get my job back?
Don't feel bad, it's okay. Just apply elsewhere and try not to brain fart again.
I have frequent sex dreams, and some include my brother (I'm a man). what the hell is wrong with me?
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>>17579121
Just so i understand, you're having sex with him in these dreams?
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>>17579131
yeah, or he's there, or naked or whatever.
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>>17579121
There's nothing wrong with you. You probably think of sex frequently and that in turn effects your dreams. And then family is always there in the back of your mind. If you're unfortunate, they collide. I've had it happen a few times, and it was awkward, but you learn it's normal and move on.
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I don't feel anything. I'm in my second year of uni.
My dad finally left my mom and I don't care.
I don't have any friends and I don't want any.
I'm voting Trump because I want something exciting (bad?) to happen.
My grades are almost perfect.
Are these bad things?
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I hit the same stages in second year of uni... (not in the same political cycle obviously).. but i'm telling you.. do something during the summer of your sophomore to junior year that will re-ground your focus. I'm telling you.. buckle down now, or shit will suck for the next 10-15 years as you try to regain the income you could have been making because you buckled down..
TL;DR - opportunity cost b/w studying and feeling sorry as fuck for yourself.
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Choosing not to feel anything is a coping mechanism.
Often when we feel overwhelmed or like things are too much, we just shut down feeling in order to get through.
If I were you, I'd let yourself start feeling things again. Otherwise, I'd say it will come back and bite you, quite hard.
This is just in my experience, but sincerely.
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>>17579242
I second this.
I often still find myself trying to "robot" (not in the /r9k/ way) myself when I get overwhelmed, often socially.
What I do then when it gets socially awkward or I get overwhelmed for a longer period of time is me just going into work mode and focusing on studies and saving & making money. It's a very good strategy because I just put my shit aside and it's better long term. But it's also really bad because now I have a really small and loose social circle because of it, I'd like it to be bigger but I don't have many friends now and it feels like when I actually want to be social, I have to iniatate it because everyone thinks I am an autistic nerd, which is sort of true.
Tbh OP, it's not really bad itself, if you can manage to get good grades and improve yourself that's great. The period in which I got the most /fit/ was like this, it came from social anxiety and I wanted to think about something else.
I guess the psychiatrist or some shit answer would be to face your problems and allow yourself to feel or whatever, but personally I've just gone into no feelings mode whenever I need it and it works well. Although you need to know you'll damage some relationships because you seem careless.
>TL;DR: it's fine bro just make sure you're productive at least, you do care you just push emotions away because they're really heavy
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So I've been dating a girl for a year....
Recently, we started school back and I cant help but want to be single again. This was the first relationship I've ever had. I used to be massively depressed about being single, until I had her. But now....now I fantasize about other girls and value their opinions more than hers. It sucks, and I don't want to feel this way. I was head over heels and loved her so much, and I still do. I still do love her, but I just am bored I think. It comes and goes, this feeling, its just never been so strong as when I'm surrounded by other girls at school. I start noticing all the annoying things about her that I didnt before, I notice how little flaws more so now. She's a perfect girl, and I don't think for a second I'm ever going to find a better woman. But, sometimes I feel like I'm willing to trade that for some new ass or something...I don't know.
Any advice? I'm not sure how ltr are supposed to work. This is a struggle internally daily.
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Fantasizing about other girls is totally normal. noticing your partner's flaws more and more as time passes is also totally normal. Questioning whether the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? It's an idiom for a reason.
I'd say do something to shake up your current relationship in a positive way. Take a road trip, or do drugs together, or something you've never done before. Try to reignite your interest in her.
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>>17579105
Will it be like this always?
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>>17579090
>I start noticing all the annoying things about her that I didnt before, I notice how little flaws more so now.
You have to realize that all people have flaws and irritating things they do/say. A lot of guys end up finding the right girl early on, but get stuck in that "grass is greener" cycle and go through chicks. Then by the time they realize that they're empty inside, and that no girl can really compare to that one that they tossed aside, it's too late. She's already married, or has plans to marry someone that recognized her value. Women do the exact same thing.