Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3825. page

>>17577989
It's like religion. If someone doesn't care for something, you can't change their mind. Let her go.

Dude shes crazy. If you were straight was she just going to just start a fight randomly one day by saying 'im afraid you'll cheat on me with some girl! Even though youve been perfectly faithful to me so far!"

Although you really should have told her your sexuality earlier. After 7 months it would feel like you were intentionally hiding it. It doesnt define you but it is a part of you that your so would like to be aware of.

>>17577995
Aaaah man... I wish I could change her mind though. It's so retarded that such a tiny element can change a person's mind.

>>17577985
this is why fapping in the shower is best

>>175779855

Has your body itself become gross

>>17577987
Sure, but that doesn't exactly keep my partner happy. He doesn't complain about sex being rare, but I'm sure he'd prefer it wasn't.

>>17577988
Nah. I'm in the best shape I've ever been in.

Go to the army. It is not a bad choice in general. Looks great on your CV. And they will teach you proper discipline. I enlisted 8 years ago. Not a day in my life I regretted that choice. College is overrated.

>>17577998
Are you sure I should join the Army? I've been told joining the Air Force is probably a lot smarter if I were to join the military

>>17577981
If you go to college with no passion, you will waste a lot of time and money. Even if you half ass it and graduate, you're not going to land a decent job with your shitty attitude and behavior in life. At least in the military, you will have no choice but to adapt and change, otherwise you get kicked out.

How fucked up are you mentally? For real.

>>17577984
Was objectively mentally ill when usuage was at it's height. As a result of low serotonin and constantly tripping. (which is particuarly bad for mental health, whatever people say) I was lucky to finish higher education with a decent grade. I'd say this was probably due the drugs rather than genetics. Now I'd say I'm almost balanced. Though I have trouble watching 3D movies and such due what I've put my brain through.

>>17577984
I'm certainly more introverted and anxious than I would have been otherwise. May not be obvious on the outside but I notice. I now prefer close friends and long term relationships now, as I don't have to hide the quirks I've picked up.

>>17577924
dont go to high school break my computer and go get shitfaced with the m8s pretty much

Speak yuropoor, please.

>>17577924

for me it'd be mostly the same things but with whatever maturity my hormones don't erase.

id definitely hae more sex. so many opportunities gone to waste. id also be able to focus on certain projects with the knowledge i hae now, but i know that is not exactly what you mean.

please respond

>>17577905

depends, what did the letter say? most say 'no actions being taken against you just delete everytihng and move along'.

but if it said 'were sueing you lol' then ur in trouble.

generally speaking just dont seed.

You can get a VPN in the future, but get one from a country that isn't cucked or stores your info.

For now I wouldn't worry about anything.
If they sent you some ransom to pay to "avoid" legal action, fucking ignore it. Everyone does, and they won't do shit. They can't prove your network wasn't hacked. If you're really paranoid, I'd buy a new network card/router so they can't trace your MAC Address to you. But seriously you'll be fine.

>>17577903

>properly
>in the comfort of my own home

hire an english teacher to do home visits. thats it basically. no guarantee on your accent.

Watch lots of videos and force yourself to make those sounds.
Then try to have vocal conversations with native english speakers.
Italki is great for that.

>>17577927
>Italki
added to my notepad

>>17577923
>hire an english teacher
costs money tho, also my area just doesn't have any good ones (i know because i've seen the '''''best''''' one)

>>17577897

welcome to the next level.

>>17577925
good or bad? lol

>>17577980

good. life gets harder when you realize that your life wasnt actually that hard before, but its all in order to go better places as long as you know what you want.

>>17577878
>kinds
kids**

Shameless self-bump.

>>17577878

> our late 30's early 40's does she even want to think about that

She wants to wait until she's infertile to decide whether or not she wants kids.

Could she come around? Maybe, but I doubt it. Potentially as her thirties close in the impending wall will make her rethink the value of frittering away her youth but that's no guarantee and the likelihood of birth defect will have already increased substantially by that point.

I can't tell you if you need to break up with her today, but if having kids for you is a must and she wants to wait until she's out of eggs to decide, the break up is inevitable.

I'm here. Even just to listen.

>>17577866
It's finally the weekend after a week of classes and I feel really dumpy and lethargic even though I need to do shit like study for my first tests.

Any advice for times like this?

>>17578246
Listen to me carefully anon: you have to put your health first. If you're stretching the limit on your energy, then drop a class and keep dropping until you hit a course load you can manage. I say this because I burned out four years ago and have been recovering since (well, the undiagnosed illnesses had something to do with it but still). Another possibility is that you're majoring in something you really hate and should switch (Idunno). To up your energy though, I suggest taking a hot shower with a washcloth, scrubbing yourself down after you soap up, and at the last second switching it to cold, then turn it off. Studywise, use every morale boost you can. Play good music (I like Castlevania Symphony of the Night), get some classmates to join you, grab some raw vegetables to snack on (fuck the freshman 15), and force yourself to take breaks every 15 minutes for 5 minutes where you just walk around or whatever. It helps.

the answer is 80085

(2√20) / (5√45)

=

(2/5) * (√20 / √45)

=

(2/5) * √(20 / 45)

etc.

>>17577851
I got 4/15, I fucked up didn't I

You sound just like my closest friend, only he doesn't have a job and he's slightly older.

The only person who can help you, is input cliche thing to say. My best advice is to get into occult magick and yoga and shit.

>>17577831

being truly intelligent leads to true sadness.

but only believing you are intelligent only leads to believing you are sad.

File: how to albert camus.jpg (88KB, 1000x1197px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 1000x1197px

Read Camus.
Start with The Stranger.

You dont have to forgive him. You just have to get away from him and your parents(its fucked to expect you to 'repsect' your abuser) and move on with your life by realizing hes not worth having in it. Anyway hes not even regretful of his abuse so why should you forgive him?

>>17577820

>I know part of moving on is forgiveness, but I find it difficult when the person you need to forgive hasn't admitted to anything and wants you to act like nothing happened.

The forgiveness is for you, not for him.

Under no circumstance do you need to develop any sort of warm or forgiving feelings for this piece of shit in order to move on. You are under no obligation to speak to him, show respect, or even acknowledge his existence.

What you need to do, firstly, is if you don't have a therapist or some sort of mental health counselor to talk this through with you need to get one, immediately.

Having a stable third party professional to guide you through the process of putting this behind you is crucial to the healing process.

Secondly, recognize that the "forgiveness" aspect of moving on isn't absolving the other person of wrong-doing its merely letting go of your hate, your resentment and realizing that whatever that person has done to you is not worth carrying with you for the rest of your life.

You need to spend absolutely 0 time with this person. I mean 0. If he is in a room, you go to another room. If he is in a house, you go to another house. Plain and simple.

If he puts his hands on you again you call the police, no questions asked. It doesn't matter what your family or friends say. He hurts you, you call the cops.

The most important part of this healing process is reclaiming your sense of self and setting up boundaries. Boundaries that clearly say "You and I do not have a relationship. I don't want to be next to you nor hear you speak to me. You are not allowed to touch me and if you do I will call the police and file charges."

Stand up for yourself. Get a therapist. He/She will work with you to put all of these things I've said into a workable plan and slowly integrate it into your daily life.

>>17577820
>I know part of moving on is forgiveness, but I find it difficult when the person you need to forgive hasn't admitted to anything and wants you to act like nothing happened.
You shouldn't forgive him. If you just act like his abuse is normal you'll be enabling him and actually encouraging him to abuse more people because he'll learn that it's fine to abuse women, they'll just accept it, it won't ruin any social relations.

Definitely if he's not even apologetic or regretful, you have no need to show respect for him. Just say that you can't respect people who abuse their family members and don't even feel bad about it.

find a shrink, you're sociopathic

>>17577805
Hey Op, don't get so down on yourself. The difference between you and other people is that you are intelligent enough to understand that you are faking it. This self knowledge comes at the cost of empathy due to the fact you know you are different. For example, you worrying about not saying thank you implies you wouldn't give a shit if someone said thank you or not.

Its only natural you would have anxiety as you are attempting to understand a perspective that just isn't comprehensible to you. That is perfectly normal, however you will probably need to come to terms with this fact if you want to face your anxiety. To this end I would recommend cognitive behavioral therapy.

If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way about emotions as you and we are definitely not alone. I cannot recommend a solution to this end but it seems to be really eating away at you and manipulating your world view. The best advice I can give is to stop worrying about love, just consider it an ineffability for now and instead focus on becoming the person you want to be.

The end of your post is indicative of an existential crisis of which the solution depends on the individual. You can try reading philosophy on the subject, religions, or simply distract the thoughts away.

In any case, take solace in the fact that you are intelligent enough to realize your flaws and have the opportunity to fix them.

Empathy isn't a feeling. It's simply being able to understand or intuit the feelings of others. Autistic people usually struggle with this.

Does she even want to date you?

>>17577779

there is only one way to find out. to not even try is to not get your answer. asking here does not give you the answer.

the only thing we can tell you here is that if you do this YOU need to eb open minded. not that oyu need to be religious, but you have to be willing to go to church with her on the high holidays or even just for her once in awhile.

atheists act like this is some big deal, but once oyu get past the bull shit, its no different than seeing her family, or hanging with her friends, or doing a chore she hates. its just a little time you take out of her life because you love her, so whats an hour hurt? plus you get to dress up all nice and the people are all nice, and oyu get to sing.

the only other issue is whether or not you'd be willing have your kids raised christian. if you could go in saying you dont mind, then more power to you. if ur not sure, dont worry, figure it out later, you havent even found out if shed be remotely interested in you yet.

and as for her, we dont know. many christians want a christian man. many christians date atheists / agnostics cuz they like the guy himself.

you havent even really met her yet so why are you worrying so much. go ask her and find out first. you guys are only in college after all.

Also, another thing is that I tend to kiss girls as confession. I always liked a goodbye kiss at the end of a date to make the first step. I don't like confessing with the "I love you" discourse.
But if by doing that I steal her first kiss and she doesn't like it I will feel very guilty. So I don't know how to process with this kind of girl.