Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4303. page

>>17441757
Go to fit and fa

>>17441757

>normal women

define normal. by which i mean, you cant. you may mean hot women or whatever but why not just date someon who likes what you like and is in your attractiveness level?

and if ur answer is
>THEYRE SO RARE

then you dont actualyl care about human connection, just a hole, so get an escort

I'm so sorry, but no. Women like athletic alpha males. If you have a lot of money, they'll "love" you then. Honestly though, you're pretty fucked. Get used to the thought of being alone now while you're young; it'll make it easier when you're older.

>>17441685

sure. just turn on the microwave or the shower or something to hide the sound. or pour it into a container that doesnt glug

>>17441685
Hold your glass just under the mouth of the bottle at a 45deg angle or more and slowly lift the bottom of the bottle so that the stream of wine doesn't stop air from going in

>>17441695
It's 23:20 pm. I am in bed. I am supposed to be asleep.

>>17441696
How do I do that while drinking straight from the bottle?

Don't obsess over shit like this. When you meet people in real life, give them a chance to show you what they're about, regardless of skin color. Treat others with respect until they give you a good reason not to. That is all.

Nobody cares which YouTube video you click on. That does not matter.

>>17441651

It's already a step to think about your reflexes. I've been already asked in the same board about someone's hatred, and I actually couldn't come with an answer right away. I've been reading to compensate, I don't know if that answer will suit you but there are a few solutions :

> Reading about the subject you're feeling you're racist about. Probably the best answer, not the easiest to accomplish, when I meant reading it's about history, sociological matters, biological, etc... about 'black" people. Cognitive information about them will make you understand afro-american culture and this understanding will make you take away the emotional value (the latent racism, in other words) you're seeing in black people.
That's best purge to me, but it will still take time for you to come up with another way of thinking and motivation (I don't honestly believe people will fucking read when I tell them to do so, but how knows )

> Going over stereotypes and getting to know more of the x race that you're not into.
I don't think that's the best thing, you will probably get to know 2 to 5 people at best, that's not representative enough. It could get you to know some things but still not that great to me.

> Realize we all have stereotypes and we all perceive other communities based on what they represent
Once you understand that, you will judge a person based on his behavior rather than his skin color.

> Don't listen to biased infos : /pol/, /int/, 4chan in general and newsfeeder are the shittiest source you can find. Don't base your jugement on their infos. Also, liberals and race empowering are not better than the above-mentioned sources of informations, they are another kind of biased.

Props for getting out of this closed, stupid thinking. Have fun being cleverer.

>>17441651

its a thing, and its not something you can truly cure yourself of. its a life long process.

whats important is that you caught yourself, went back, and acknowledged that what is important is whether or not that person had naything relevant to say, and they did.

tahts all that matters. trying to be a better person. good job.

Just date an 18-20 year old. Why would you want to date a women who's pussy has already been beat to hell?

alol the good ones get snapped up quick and then you get the ones with issues left over

>>17441653

I just don't like the maturity of women in that age range typically. Like 18-20 year women have that weird "I am just discovering myself" phase and I hate dealing with that shit.

I just want a normal woman who is well adjusted. Its crazy how... hard it is to find that.

>>17441640

Are you close with anyone who knows her better than you do? Talk to a mutual friend, find out a bit more about her, see about setting something up.

How about asking her what you know her from? If she asks why you're asking, say you're going through your friends and removing people you never knew, since you're SURE there's some in there.

>>17441649
Sadly not, they're mostly schoolfriends who I'm not in contact with, although i plan to get back in touch with some of them cause they were total bros.

>>17441650
That's good advice generally speaking anon, since i DO need to cleanse my friends list of a lot of people. This could work, although, (and I don't want to sound like a retard here who needs everything spelled out for him, even though I am) I'm not sure how i could keep the conversation going. Ah, i worry too damn much.

Thank you for advice regardless anons.

>>17441622

>hard to maintain contact with acquaintances

well yes. the question is, do you want to have acquaintances? i do not. i dont see the point in maintaining contact with people you dont want in your life. if they are gonna work in your life, they should be friends. if you dont see them regularly in some way, whats the point?

thats just me though, but facebook seems like a waste of time. if i like someone i make an effort to see them regularly.

>>17441626
IDK, sometimes shit happens and an acquaintance becomes a close friend. Sometimes you make new friends, find new work, etc through an acquaintance.

I feel like most of my connections, I've made without facebook. But like 10% are from it. Some of them are important.

But you still have to consider the bad of facebook.

>>17441634

maybe if i had facebook id be in a different place in life. but im pretty happy with where i am and i havent had one since 2012.

to each their own, but it seems weird to go out of your way to maintain something to talk to people you dont know all that well with the hope that a few may turn to something more.

OP, just get business cards made, pass em out to everyone you meet.

>>17441567

stick with dinner. if you find just chatting over a meal awkward than there is nothing you can do that wont be awkward. its as casual as it gets. you could always substitute dinner with a drink, but id stick with dinner

as for sex, id say make dinner sushi. assuming she likes sushi its REALLY lite, and you dont have to worry about someone getting stuffed as fuck on it. it gives the vibe that its fancy, and its a lot more interesting sounding than your regular joints.

as for what to do with the sex, its not like we can provide a date location thats good for sex. if you dont have a place to bring her back to, forget about it.

>>17441567
Coffee at a place where you go shopping, it gives you somewhere public to meet and leaves you with open options when it comes to things to do (you can find shit like rock climbing, go carting or laser tag if she isn't a fatty).
If you think you could get laid, don't eat anything heavy.
It is hard to go wrong with a light lunch.

Do not do dinner or a movie. Literally the worst two first date ideas.

She's some stupid bitch, just don't get bothered by it. Normal person wouldn't be bothered. If you like dat coffee, take it.

So she just started working there? Maybe you should tell her AND the manager at the same time "I'm just here for the coffee, get over yourself. "

>>17441580

The last thing I'd want to do is get her in trouble or whatever. It would look like revenge for turning me down.

>>17441563

pop it

>>17441569

That sounds like a bad idea, friend.

>>17441585

That's what the doctor will do anyway

>>17441555

If you're anything like me, and have had the privilege of being given an expensive education and have been brought up well, you can get away with temporarily realising that everyone in the room is poorer, stupider and less eloquent than you. You have the most social capital.

If you genuinely don't have the best social capital then suck up to everybody in there, but really, you're in law school so you can't be a total fuck up.

Think of the working class losers sitting beside you, that you will eventually be defending or prosecuting, they barely deserve to be there in your presence, so you might as well show off how great you are so they know their place.

Breathe into your belly. Diaphragmatic breathing helps me a bit.

1) Get a good night's sleep and exercise/eat healthy. Keeps you feeling physically capable of handling stressors. Lack of sleep or exercise and poor diet affect physically, which can increase the amount of anxiety you feel since you're less prepared to deal with the incoming stress

2) do stretches or jumping Jacks before presenting to relieve aby excess energy. You want all of your energy to be in your voice, but if your body is switching and shaking then it will override your voice

3) keep 80% of your energy in projecting your voice and tone and 20% to gestures. Only gesture at the elbow (no wild flailing movements) and don't hold your hands at weird angles

4) Practice, practice, practice. Time yourself, make adjustments, ensure you hit all your key points, do it in front of people. This is the best way to avoid stress. In public speaking your body kind of goes into a fight or flight mode. Since you can't do either, your body response cannot process correctly. You avoid this response by being prepared to handle the unexpected

5) focus on the friendly faces in the audience. There will always be at least one or two people who will be nodding along or smile encouragement. A huge part of public speaking is getting energy and confidence from the audience. If you focus on the negative faces (eyes glazed over or unfriendly expressions) then your effectiveness drops. Positive attention (taking notes, nodding) boosts your confidence and makes you a better speaker. Just don't lock eyes with that one person.

6) look people in the eyes as you're talking. Eye contact has an unusual effect of forming a bond between audience and speaker. They will subconsciously like you more if you hold the gaze for a second or two before shifting it around the room.

7) dress well. It's easier to feel and act important if you look important. Get a real necktie and suit. If that is too much for what you need, at least wear a dress shirt, slacks, and leather shoes

>>17441489
Dove

Dont use cheap scented shit. Go unscented everything and get some nice cologne. Mixing strong scents = bad, trust me

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>>17441489
D O V E S O A P
O
V
E

S
O
A
P

if it really bothers you that much get a hooker. And grow up.

>>17441471
:(
Honestly the kissless part bothers me more.
How does one grow up?? Didn't get the memo.

>>17441466
>femanons please don't reply
The fact that you cannot even interact with us online is pretty troubling and probably warrants suicide.

The second time was when she was taking a friend's medication to calm herself down. She took it with alcohol, felt terrible, went to the hospital and told them. Unbeknownst to her, that gave them to right to hold her against her will for 72 hours to monitor her.

She was recently kicked out by her boyfriend but has found another guy and is living with him. She sent me a text bragging about his trailer and how I should consider moving in with her. That she'll buy me furniture and a plane ticket (she has no money). I learned she offered this to my brother as well, and he went off on her after not speaking to her in years. She then bitched at my grandfather about how he's brainwashing my 27 year old brother and turning us against her. My brother comes down about one a year to go to Disney and see my grandfather. I live with him rent-free so I can pay for school and graduate without debt. My grandfather isn't nearly as jaded towards my mother as my brother and I are. Probably because we lived with and were failed by her. She's his daughter and he's a softie.

Final part in next reply...

Her and I moved in with my grandfather last year. He is constantly talked to shit to by her. He leased a car in his name, paid for the first month, put her in his insurance and gave her the keys because she needed a car. She at first was ecstatic and thankful. Now she says that him doing that was "abusive". She randomly went to the airport one night and flew back to our home state without telling anyone to be with this new guy she met online. My grandfather was devastated but not too surprised. I'm just relieved she's gone.

I haven't spoken to her since then, but I'm wondering if I should just not bother trying to have a relationship with her at this point. I don't with my father and can with my mom too. It's obviously not what I want, but it's better than pretending she doesn't have a problem and things are fine. I've been furious with her for years and years and tired of trying to get through to her to see a therapist.

My therapist whom I've spoken to at length regarding my mom thinks she has borderline personality disorder, as do I. My mother does not. It's everyone else's fault. She's the epitome of all or nothing thinking and desperately needs dialectical therapy.

I made this thread because she just sent me another text regarding the place she's staying at now, saying "Did you get my text?" "If your sleeping I understand. Just a yes for I'm sleeping and I'll get back to you."

She sounds desperate and emotional, which breaks my heart. I don't know if I should reply or what to say if so. I'm thinking either "You need cognitive behavioral therapy or we can never have a relationship. If you're not willing to see a therapist one on one, don't contact me again." or responding.

I worry that having nothing to do with her will drive her to suicide, but she's never actually attempted and probably never will in my opinion. I could be wrong however. It's also worth considering that is living in pain, how she is, worth it? Would killing herself even be worse than going through life, one abusive boyfriend and broken home at a time? Also I'm irritated because her text is stupid. Why would I text back if I'm sleeping? Especially if you woke up me. I work nights and she knows, hence the "You might be sleeping." from her.

Opinions, thoughts, etc. welcome. Anyone deal with similar stuff?

>>17441401

Ignore them. Don't you remember being a dumbass kid?

Look it on the bright side: at least 3 kids wanna fuck you.

Beat the living fuck out of the toughest one and make the others watch as their friends head gets stomped into the dirt.

>>17441384
business law, if you can do it
that's the fucking mula. we're talking grueling, soulless, mentally demanding work for a fuckton of money.

international business is probably more interesting and fun

management is cool if you're a minor sociopath, but for most it's underachieving

oh and human resources is sweet if you're a female sociopath

that list says management twice

>>17441390
"Business Strategy and Economic Management"
3 lines are all 1 thing
>Business law if you can do it
I fucking love studying/working, my only disinclination for this would be in 5 years or so i'd need at least a few hours of each day for family matters

>international business
Once I do graduate, would this be difficult to find employment without nepotism? While being probably the most interesting of the group, I've always figured this wasn't the most in demand najor and I do study a bit too much to keep friends currently

>>17441414
>I fucking love studying/working
what the hell is wrong with you
anyway, good. I hear business law pays. investigate that.

>not sure what having an international business major would be like
I suggest you investigate that