im a poor fatty patty how does a fatty patty get 9/10 qt pies without money?
Suicide
>>17444347
No u
>>17444344
money? have you ever had a gf? Money don't matter like that buddy, you can have chicks spending money on you all the time if your game is tight.
I want to respond to a job for a security position. The only problem is they prefer experience. I figured i would lie and say I worked in loss prevention at wal mart.
If anyone has had a loss prevention job could you give me a basic run down of the daily duties? The only big question I've had that google couldn't answer is
>Do loss prevention employees detain shoplifters?
Some stores do, some stores don't apparently. I'm leaning toward wal-mart not doing this, but I'm not sure.
All answers appreciated!
blah..blah...blahhhhhhhhh
>>17444284
Lying like that on a job application isn't a great idea. They could so easily make a call to your "former employer" to ask about you
Detain them as long as they're on your property. Some parking lots deem themselves public property. So you wont have authority once they leave the building. But, if you catch them in your building, with your merchandise, you can detain them.
Daily duties will probably be something along the lines of, time in the field. I.E. blending in, looking for thieves, basic security patrol, and some time in the LP room viewing cameras, and trying to find trends with thieves that haven't been caught yet.
Warehouse security sucks and I wouldn't suggest it. Pay is always shit. Retail stores pay better and are usually an in house company, not third party. If it's third party, you'll probably get treated like shit, and have way more bullshit to do. If it's in house, you'll have more freedom and get paid better.
Hey /adv/
I recently just got out of a 2 year relationship and got a tinder. I was talking to this one girl and she was sending me dirty pics and making it clear she wanted to hook up. Anyway last night I met up with her and her friends for some drinks and then went back to her place and had sex. Only problem is she is too crazy for me, she was trying to choke me and shit which I'm just not into. I tried to be polite and friendly after we had sex and stayed around but told her I had some things to do this morning and wanted to sleep at my place to get an early start. She was cool with it but tried to give me head before I left so we could fuck again, I just told her I really had to go because it was 1am and she was understanding. But she said she wants to see me again.
Basically how do I break this off? She is just not my type at all, but I don't want to be rude to her. I'm thinking of telling her me and my ex started talking again and I just wouldn't feel comfortable seeing someone else like that
>>17444273
Or you just can be honest with her
>>17444289
And tell her she is too wild for me? I just feel like that is offensive to her. I don't want her going batshit on me. She was pretty chill but definitely was flashing a bunch of signs of crazy so it just feels delicate to me
Don't be honest with a crazy chick. Never scorn a woman. Just tell her some beta shit so she'll think you're a loser and leave you alone. Say something like
>I'm really depressed and I'm such a fucking loser, I'm so in debt I can't give you the lifestyle you deserve
Something like that, she'll leave you alone forever.
HowcanIlearntospeakEnglishwell? English is too difficult you don't know how hard it is.. :(
>>17444266
What is your mother tongue?
i learned with hollywood movies and an unhealthy obsession with rap music
ez
>>17444277
Korean!
>lived with my 4 years older ex since i was 17
>broke up once or twice but got back together
>am now 22 and we broke up
Because i was sent to mental hospital and i had grand delusions about her being pregnant with mafia guy and giving me STD, thought the "inmates" in asylum would literally kill me unless i broke up with her so i told her i found a boyfriend and that i never want to see her again
>i get out, move in with my mother
>they stop injecting me with some horrible calming (more like mind numbing) injections i slowly start to realize what have i done
>she (my ex) stops by couple of times, brings me some stuff from our apartment, she lays on sofa with me, we touch arms and legs
>i write to her about how all the shit i told her was not me, that i was completely out of myself cause of the medication and delusions
>she tells me to stop rumminating about it, that we have life ahead of us that i should move on etc.
>i live with mother, all my things including bed is at my exs apartment
>she tells me that she knows that if we saw each other irl we would get back together, but that she doesnt want it
>meets with my mother and tells her that i know how to get to her
>i stop by, we get bit high and she talks about her newfound social life how she was there and this and that, asks about my life. I get out, nervous as fuck
>today i asked her if i could sleep over in the apartment cause my mother will have some sort of celebration here and i dont want to be around the people
>she replies :sure thing, i have night shift so no problem
>what to do /adv/isors? I am going to be sleeping on my bed in basically now her apartment
>when she comes home in the morning what do i do, if she goes to the same bed, do i try something? Do i give her a massage, talk with her or what do i do?
>Why does she have no problem at all with me sleeping over there? Is there a chance to get back together? Is she just being friendly or what? Its been about 2 months since i left the mental asylum btw
>>17444235
You are fucking crazy nigga
Go see a shrink
It's funny that the people who would kill you have more sense on this than you
>>17444267
Come on anon, you are not helping as i am brutally aware of being insane in the membrane.
I need to know whats up my ex, why is she being like this what does it mean and should i try something?
>>17444270
I don't know, nothing you said points to a clear direction; she probably is crazy too.
Nonetheless you should move on with your life and let her do the same.
Hey /adv/, I would really appreciate some guidance if anyone has the time.
I believe I was in a relationship with a pathological narcissist. That's been it's own little issue, but in one of our last fights, she gave me a look that made me start to think, maybe I'm the bad person.
I looked through my past through a "lens" of narcissism, and I was able to confirm that I do lie to people. A lot. My whole world was shattered. Next morning I start to feel weird, I feel like doing housework for the first time in 21 years of existence, and then afterwards I feel like jogging! This was crazy to me, usually I just don't do anything. I came to accept the person in the mirror was a liar. But I started to think some more.
I've lied to myself. And this condition, it didn't feel right, so I dug for answers. I also felt a really driving force pushing me to Buddhism, and I love it. But I stumbled upon Schizoids Personality Disorder, and for the first time in a long time, I feel catharsis. I've lied to myself at funerals, I don't care about any of these people, but I lied to myself because not caring is wrong. I did this for a very long time until this moment. I feel peace, acceptance. I look in the mirror and don't hate myself anymore. But here's the thing. I care about people. REALLY care about people. Total strangers. I will go far out of my way in order to not upset someone. Even if this someone hurts me or takes advantage of me, I don't care. I LOVE people. I want to help all of them. But how can I be this person who can be punched in the face and still say "It's alright, hopefully you can find peace through the turmoil you feel." and then turn around and feel apathy for my "loved" ones?
I'm scared, I don't know what to feel, I don't know who to be. My first appointment with a psychiatrist is in 2 months due to my shitty insurance.
Does anyone have any experience with personality disorders? Or perhaps just some guidance until I can see a doctor.
>>17444220
Bloody hell anon get with it. Self diagnosis? There is a reason professionals are meant to and not run of the mills and even they get it wrong.
As someone who studied Psychology for 5 years, the DSM which has all the symptoms is so open and broad, most people can be diagnosed with autism or several other disorders despite not actually having them.
Stop being paranoid, you young ones now a days need some sense knocked back into your brain.
>>17444241
I don't even feel it's paranoia anymore, thinking like this. I just want to know why thinking like this makes my life feel like it makes sense for the first time.
You are almost guaranteed to be a narcissist. That post describes my girlfriend to a fucking tee.
> I've lied to myself at funerals, I don't care about any of these people, but I lied to myself because not caring is wrong. I did this for a very long time until this moment. I feel peace, acceptance. I look in the mirror and don't hate myself anymore. But here's the thing. I care about people. REALLY care about people. Total strangers. I will go far out of my way in order to not upset someone. Even if this someone hurts me or takes advantage of me, I don't care. I LOVE people. I want to help all of them. But how can I be this person who can be punched in the face and still say "It's alright, hopefully you can find peace through the turmoil you feel." and then turn around and feel apathy for my "loved" ones?
Especially this right here. You care about managing your appearance with strangers, but you don't care about the feelings of those close to you. You're a narc.
28 yrs old
Good looking
Extreme shyness, social anxiety, doormat personality.
Waiting to be hired, working on self improv.
Find myself bored, depressed, restless, wanting to do something right away - 24/7
Spend my whole day day dreamin on bed (college starts in 20 days).
Will WoW be a good idea to resub? spent like 4 yrs of my life on it, but back then I was going through some shit so it helped me out alot actually - probably saved me from insanity.
I am thinking I can start using my mic and work on my speech (I have a speech impediment because of bullying). What you guys think? or should i just focus on getting that jerb and get these skills there.
Nah bro. I'm same boat. I played from start of BC through Cataclysm, and again a little bit in Pandaria. But, it's never been worth it. The game doesn't play like it used to (pre-wotlk).
You'd be better off finding another game to play, but to be honest WoW does have a good amount of women gamers to talk to, which is a plus. But, I have a girlfriend so maybe that's why I'm less interested. ERP was great, RP servers are where it's at if you do play.
Moon Guard Rep!
>>17444217
Played from Burning Crusade to Cataclysm. I'm going back for Legion, just to try things out.
>>17444217
I personally found mmorpg's to be good for me in terms of giving me a goal- orientated mindset, my grades actually dropped in school after my parents made me cancel my runescape membership because they read newspaper articles about paedophiles using these games to contact kids.
On the other hand, another friend of mine has struggled with a WOW addiction for nearly 10 years, and at the age of 24 has finally got his life in order, getting a night job and taking night classes to improve his maths skills.
So basically, you have to decide for yourself based on how you think it will affect you. If you don't think you can stay in control, keep these games out of your life.
So I've been fucking my fwb for over 3 years
We've done all the vanilla stuff, tried anal once, a bit of name calling and rougher stuff like pinning her down and grabbing her throat
What's the next step? Like next sex stuff to try with her or ease her into?
Pic related
>>17444190
Marriage. Poo or get off the loo.
>>17444194
We're not even dating though
>>17444190
bring a few of your buddies in and let them fuck her too. she'll go wild
I'm a passionate gamer, I love video games, just like all my friends do. We grew up in the same environments, same school, same hobbies.
We played the same vidya, they had the same interests in video games as me. They were also nerdy and had nerdy interests. After high school, they had no trouble finding girlfriends at college, yet I couldn't.
What went wrong? How can I get one? What am I doing wrong?
>>17444078
Not sure if that's Anri or not but still
>mfw retired
>>17444078
This sounds like a thread that belongs on either:
/adv/
/r9k/
/soc/
/s4s/
/b/
will the advent of VR allow me to virtually fuck Anri?
>want to get married one day
>am horrible at sex, i.e. erectile dysfunction, and premature (i.e. less than a continuous 10 seconds) even when I do get it up
>as a result, can't be dominant because I know I don't/cannot last long and sex is more like a semi-enjoyable chore
>also have a long refractory period because sex is so discouraging for both parties involved
Am I destined to be cheated on, like >>17443770? And don't give me meme advice like "just fap before sex bro", I've tried everything (Kegels for years, stop-and-go, noporn, edging, squeeze frenulum, thinking of unpleasant things).
>>17444057
People who cheat are insecure and selfish, avoid people like that.
Seriously, avoid selfish people at all costs; if someone can't admit guilt it gives you a great perspective of their mind.
surprised you don't know that once a woman get's married, she doesn't want sex. Just let your wife cheat. Do you have money? that's all that matters. Women don't care about monogamous sex.
>>17444057
yep it will happen so give up
i am 21 years old, in the final year of my degree and my girlfriend just found out she is four months pregnant. Abortion is no longer an option and i am feeling suicidal. She was on birth control but a change in the pill left us with our current situation. Help
Man up ffs, things will get better. If not, just try.
>>17444069
This, you are about to have a kid, Dont kill yourself because youll fuck the kid up. Now is the time to be a man, finish your degree, Get your and her parents to help out, go find a part time job for now and save what you can.
Abortion is always an option. Look into it further, if she's willing.
I need to leave the country for good and have everyone think i'm dead. How?
Pic not related
Leave a suicide note.
>>17445384
mostly this. trail of bredcrumbs to a bride or the woods is good.
>>17444020
People get lost on cruises all the time. If you could board the ship, and somehow sneak off - it would be very easy for people to assume you were lost at sea somewhere during the trip. Whether you were kidnapped after you guys docked at your destination, got drunk and fell overboard - whatever.
Don't know how exactly you would sneak off though. I don't know a whole lot about cruise ships, how deep the water is where the dock, the security etc.
"All you need to do is listen anon"
Parents: "you're talented if you just listened to your parents you would go so far"
Sports coaches: "anon you've got a gift, just listen to us and follow our directions and you'll be golden"
What the fuck? If I'm so talented and smart and gifted I wouldn't need you to tell me each and every step of what I need to do? Why can't I be smart and know what to do? Why do people patronize me with this "you've got it in you I know you do" pseudo-motivational bullshit?
If I have no ability to make the smart and right choices in my life, maybe I should just give up trying to succeed in my goals.
Now I want to hurt people and make them pay for patronizing me and leading me on. A simple "you suck and you're no good at this anon, try something else" would've sufficed. But nooo. Manipulate 10 year old me into "believing in myself". Manipulate 20 year old me into "you're bright just apply yourself" manipulate 24 year old me into "keep at it, you have what it takes"
Fuck you. There's only winners and losers in life. Winners bask in glory and fuck the prom queen while losers delude themseves into a life of mediocrity. Jesus Christ humanity, society and consciousness was all just a giant evolutionary fart- this is just a spiral of fucking madness.
You sound 16.
>>17443917
Gee thanks for the shitpost
This is not your blog, edgy teenager.
Go grab attention on tumblr.
My situation will blow your socks off
I fucking wish any of this was a joke
>Listen to this while reading:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-0kcet4aPpQ
>be me
>no criminal record, 3.5+GPA in school, my dad's only son, didn't go to college because multimillion dollar 3-generation family business, had two kids a little early but I mean that happens a lot where I'm at so what the fuck who cares, dad was pretty much never present in my life growing up and my mom wasn't much better
>Be son of millionaire dad but rather dysfunctional family altogether (he's a cold workaholic and my mom's a little OCD, his daughters (my half sisters) 25 years older than me and live several states away
>My parents have been together 25 years
>I had two daughters starting at 17
>I'm financially crippled because there's no jobs in this shithole and my job in the family business is a toothless joke where I'm bored 100% of the time, either shredding paper or walking the dog, & being heavily verbally abused by some of the lower-class employees
>Put in 27-29 applications over the past two years and nobody has hired me because of my "untouchable" family, and because no sitter for my kids (only daycare in the county won't take them because of our visitation schedule)
>So basically I'm a mister mom who makes just enough money to buy my kids shit at my letdown of a job at the family business that I missed college for
>Anyway
>My parent's relationship has been deteriorating for my entire memory because my mom's bitchy, he's working her to death, and also he's home a total of 6 hours a day which is spent sleeping in his giant hot tub
>Couple days ago my mom gives me the news they're getting a divorce
2/?
>Holy fuck I don't have a house and don't want to live with my mom, dealing daily with her behavior that caused my dad to dump her, even though he doesn't deal with it a fraction as much as I do as it is
>how the hell will I ever find a stepmom for my kids with her scaring off every one of my girlfriends since I was 14
>And I don't want to keep living in my dad's now-empty 6k square foot house that she (my mom) designed inside and out which he built to her exact specifications, like we're talking stained glass windows that are the exact color of her eyes, and kitchen cupboards that are the exact color of her hair
>He built her a shitty, tiny house in a shitty, trashy part of our shitty, trashy town (since he owns everything and building houses is like pennies to him)
>Since he doesn't want me or my girls, wants me to move in with her
>As part of the divorce stuff, he cut me almost completely out of his will and is leaving like 90% of his shit to his oldest daughter, who I've met +/- 5 times in my fucking life, and lives 7 states away (she is his favorite, and he won't hesitate to tell you either)
>My dad's probably been cheating on my mom for years anyway, informed my brother in laws that this is going on and that's the first thing they asked about, lel
3/3
>We're in a hostile custody battle btw so I'm guessing my dad's gonna be cutting off funding of that (my girls's mother is a _really_ shitty mother)
>Don't really know what i did to deserve this, he's been loosing his mind/going mad with power since about 2011 but jesus, I know he barely knows/doesn't like my kids but I didn't think he'd slag off his longest-running family because of them and the stress they cause his wife... who he didn't pay attention to anyway
>Don't know if my mom is gonna awkwardly and masochistically keep working at our family business or not but probably will because she otherwise has nothing and does half my dad's job for him anyway
>I can see him firing me, though, what with the kicking me and my kids out of the only house we've ever known and cutting me out of his will with no reason to do so
>shit
>no, therapy/counciling is not an option because that would look even worse on me in court than my parents getting divorced
tl;dr dad won't give me a real job because he doesn't give a fuck about me or my kids, noone else will either because of my family's repuation, don't have the capital to move away, he's kicking my mom and therefore me and the kids to the curb entirely because she's stressed about HEE choosing to help with my kids, which he doesn't even have to deal with, and is cutting me out of his will as a cherry on top
If you get down because your family are poor, just remember that at least you have family, because it's more important, and more desireable, than money.
Which does horrible things to people.
>>17443884
came here just to laugh at this image holy shit
Need help anons
I just came on my own face. I was fapping with Emma Watson feet pictures and I didn't think I would cum that much. It even touch my lip.
I just came back and everything looks too clean. I'm worried my semen is laying somewhere around the room, uncleaned, and I can't find it.
I need therapy.
>>17443876
Calm down and survey the room. It dries quick anyway. Chill and unless you genuinely need therapy, just relax. Wash your face with warm water and lie down for a bit.
>>17443876
I once came on the curtain and only saw it minutes afterwards, the spot is there to this day, good thing it's not very noticeable.
>>17443876
At least, noone saw you.
>tfw you were watching regular anime in the bathroom and your sister sees you and gives you that look
>tfw nobody ever caught you in the act