Strap in, this is going to be long. My mother is a wreck and

The second time was when she was taking a friend's medication to calm herself down. She took it with alcohol, felt terrible, went to the hospital and told them. Unbeknownst to her, that gave them to right to hold her against her will for 72 hours to monitor her.

She was recently kicked out by her boyfriend but has found another guy and is living with him. She sent me a text bragging about his trailer and how I should consider moving in with her. That she'll buy me furniture and a plane ticket (she has no money). I learned she offered this to my brother as well, and he went off on her after not speaking to her in years. She then bitched at my grandfather about how he's brainwashing my 27 year old brother and turning us against her. My brother comes down about one a year to go to Disney and see my grandfather. I live with him rent-free so I can pay for school and graduate without debt. My grandfather isn't nearly as jaded towards my mother as my brother and I are. Probably because we lived with and were failed by her. She's his daughter and he's a softie.

Final part in next reply...

Her and I moved in with my grandfather last year. He is constantly talked to shit to by her. He leased a car in his name, paid for the first month, put her in his insurance and gave her the keys because she needed a car. She at first was ecstatic and thankful. Now she says that him doing that was "abusive". She randomly went to the airport one night and flew back to our home state without telling anyone to be with this new guy she met online. My grandfather was devastated but not too surprised. I'm just relieved she's gone.

I haven't spoken to her since then, but I'm wondering if I should just not bother trying to have a relationship with her at this point. I don't with my father and can with my mom too. It's obviously not what I want, but it's better than pretending she doesn't have a problem and things are fine. I've been furious with her for years and years and tired of trying to get through to her to see a therapist.

My therapist whom I've spoken to at length regarding my mom thinks she has borderline personality disorder, as do I. My mother does not. It's everyone else's fault. She's the epitome of all or nothing thinking and desperately needs dialectical therapy.

I made this thread because she just sent me another text regarding the place she's staying at now, saying "Did you get my text?" "If your sleeping I understand. Just a yes for I'm sleeping and I'll get back to you."

She sounds desperate and emotional, which breaks my heart. I don't know if I should reply or what to say if so. I'm thinking either "You need cognitive behavioral therapy or we can never have a relationship. If you're not willing to see a therapist one on one, don't contact me again." or responding.

I worry that having nothing to do with her will drive her to suicide, but she's never actually attempted and probably never will in my opinion. I could be wrong however. It's also worth considering that is living in pain, how she is, worth it? Would killing herself even be worse than going through life, one abusive boyfriend and broken home at a time? Also I'm irritated because her text is stupid. Why would I text back if I'm sleeping? Especially if you woke up me. I work nights and she knows, hence the "You might be sleeping." from her.

Opinions, thoughts, etc. welcome. Anyone deal with similar stuff?

>>17441433
there is no hope for borderline individuals
she will never change, especially if she is this old and still has not made any progress
i sincerely advise you to get the hell away from this woman, as cold as it may sound. she does not have the capacity to bring anything other than suffering into your life. i dealt with this from a romantic partner (and shit got pretty out of hand, let me tell you), but i cant even imagine what it must be like to have your own mother behaving in such a manner. my sympathies, anon. in my opinion, this is one of those "rip the bandage off as fast as possible to minimize the pain" situations.

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TL;DR

my ex was borderline and I was about to marry that bitch. Holey shit thank god I've found out her cheating shortly before the wedding day came.

I still feel sad for this kind of people, but just a little, because having issues does not give you permission to treat other people like shit. Fuck them.

>>17441453
/thread

there is no redemption

Relationship with such a person is like stretching sling, the more you suffer through and stay, the stronger it's going to hit you later at some point.

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Not sure what advice I can give you, but maybe it might just be better to try and cut her our of your life (I think similar to what your brother is doing). It stinks for your grandfather, but It must be hard for him to give up on her and to an extent probably makes him happy trying to help

Shitty situation though, try and get through it friend.

Thanks for the insight everyone. The consensus seems to be "don't reply to her or have contact with her". Which I'll do.

It's hard with mental illness because you never know if it's the illness or the person. My dad is super bipolar, but he's also an asshole. My mom is a good person but can be an asshole when she's hysterical emotionally.

>>17441523
I'm this "my ex" guy. She's not a bad person, I believe as well and I wish her well. But not with me. That's what we said, don't make yourself feel guilty or responsible, that's how they play you, the always have the choice too, and they make bad choices. It's not some fucking schizophrenia, they know what they are doing and they should be responsible for it.

>>17441452

Borderlines are like that, as you've unfortunately experienced. The good thing is they tend to get less extreme with age so if she never tried to kill herself before it's unlikely she will at this point.

She probably just needs some attention and sent you a message. Don't fret about it.

I'm not sure there's a good way to solve this. She'll always provoke suffering both for herself and everyone around. I'd tend you recommend keeping your distance without completely severing all contact. You guys know best though.

Sorry for you and your brother, you guys have probably been through some rough shit. Stay strong guys.