I've been seeing a girl in what I thought was an agreed-on open relationship. Long story short, turns out there was a big misunderstanding and she thought it was not open. She is now asking me to choose what we do. I have to choose between it going open with some changes, or it becoming serious.
> Pros:
- She has a very good personality. She's very caring, always having nice thoughtful little gifts, making plans so we do more stuff together and evolve as a couple. She likes to travel and actually does it, and would like to do it with me. I can really see her as making a good and reliable long-term partner.
- She likes a lot of the stuff I do, so we have a lot to share when we're together, which is really important for me.
- She's very clever. Both in pure intelligence, and in the way she handled the relationship troubles when they came up. There was no burst of emotion, just a calm discussion so we could get things clear.
> Cons:
- If we go open she'd go back to see a lot of guys and would cut everything she sees as "couple" stuff. So seeing each other less often, no more plans to go out, no waiting each other to watch series, ... so that'd just kill any hope of it becoming serious.
- She is overweight at the moment and it really ruins it physically for me, because otherwise she'd be pretty attractive. As a result I didn't have this "crush" feeling I've had in the past and it worries me. She's doing regular sports and diet to lose it, but I have no idea if she'll see it through.
- I have a girl I've been seeing in another open relationship for a year, which will never become something serious but is a very good source of fun and stability for me which I'd have to cut. That'd leave me pretty vulnerable if things go south.
- Very troubled past to say the least, so mental health is not that good. She seems to have it fully under control and is pretty fun to be with, but I'm not sure how it'd be in the long run.
What should I choose /adv/ ?
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>Very troubled past
yours or her?
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>>17719130
Open relationships promote jealousy and distrust.
Do yourself a favor and dont throw away what sounds like a decent relationship.
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>>17719553
>promote jealousy and distrust
weak
>fuck yeah qt from bumble agrees to brunch date
>she volunteers her number
>actually shows up and doesn't flake
>try to put best foot forward, date is a great catch
>make reservation at a good spot, dress well and trendy
>hold conversation, make jokes, make her laugh, keep autism to a minimum
>end of date
>"well it was nice meeting you...cya anon"
Why live?
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>I had a good date, but it didn't end with sex so I guess I'll stop talking to her.
You're the reason why this board even has women in it.
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>>17719115
all went well anon.
Stop overthinking this. Ask her out in few days.
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Probably thought you were desperate. kys.
How do I let my girlfriend know she's on thin ice, without coming off as rejecting? She keeps making these really rude, hurtful comments for no reason. She has since we met.
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>>17719114
"I am a sensitive bitch and the words you say hurt my feelings very, very much."
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>How do I talk to someone I'm allowed to talk to?
There's really nothing we can do to help you.
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>>17719123
This
If it bothers you so much, why even get together?
You're a fuckin idiot
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I need your help, im shaking, i fucking hate everything
I had this girlfriend for about 4 years and after a while I found out that she flirting with a lot of guys so i got really insecure with her and she didnt liked that so she broke up with me, I cried a lot, I couldnt even eat because I missed her, I even begged to her, cryied in the rain to get her back with me and she didnt even care, this was almost 2 months ago, but last night I got a message from her saying that she wants to get back together because she misses me, but that she knew a guy and they kissed and shit. and i just dont get how she forgot about me that quickly, how she could kiss another guy while i was begging to her to stay with me, she broke my heart but i really miss her, i just cant trust her, but that was the problem to begin with, what do i do, do i forgive her, do i stay away, she was everything to me, i fucking hate this i dont know why im such a pussy crying for this shit
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>>17719108
English is shit because im on a phone and cant stop crying because im a fucking faggot
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There's two things you can choose to believe and do.
1. That she loves you but was confused about what she wanted, (don't tell me you've never thought about being with someone else too), so she tried that, doesn't like it and realised she wants you, so get back together.
or
2. She thinks she can just leave you any time, has no respect for you, wanted to go off fucking other guys and suddenly realised shes bored of it now and wants a bitch boyfriend back so she comes to you
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Man, being 14 must be so tough for you. You should maybe try dating other girls instead of feeding your dependency problems.
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Hey, me and my friends were playing text roulette yesterday, and I had to send a text saying i wanted to fuck someone female in my contact list in the ass. I sent one to my 11yo cousin. Didn't get a reply yesterday, but my phone has been ringing from my uncle all morning. What do I do?
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Just tell them the truth. You didn't do it on purpose. You should have at least begged for a reroll tho, lol.
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>>17719050
>play stupid games win stupid prizes.
if i was your uncle and you explained to me what happened, id still make you eat your phone.
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Tell your friends took your phone and sent stupid text to random number in contact list. So simple.
Anonymous
Why do they try to be friends after breaking your heart? 2016-10-30 15:58:58 Post No.17719030
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Why do they try to be friends after breaking your heart? 2016-10-30 15:58:58 Post No.17719030
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Why do they try to be friends after breaking your heart?
Anonymous
2016-10-30 15:58:58
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My girlfriend recently broke up with me back in September and it really hurt me because I figured out she was using me all along. She tried to contact me and have a "civil conversation" but I didn't feel like talking anymore. She told one of our mutual friends that I "hate her" and my friend told her "you can't blame him."
>Why does she think she can just be friends after that?
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>>17719030
>>17719030
First thing that comes to mind is
1) she doesn't really have any feelings so it's easier for her to "stay friends"
2) she knows you aren't over her and will keep using you (as a desperate friend this time)
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Because girls are natural egoists and they do whatever feels best at the moment. Being "friends" with you feels good because she won't feel shitty after breaking a guy's heart, it makes her feel fulfilled like "I did this shit but he's still my friend so it's all good"
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It could be for keeping you as a backup or shit reasons, or that she does still care about you. In your case, you're in the right of pretty much telling her to stay out of your life
Anonymous
No opportunities to get a girlfriend 2016-10-30 15:58:31 Post No.17719029
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No opportunities to get a girlfriend 2016-10-30 15:58:31 Post No.17719029
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No opportunities to get a girlfriend
Anonymous
2016-10-30 15:58:31
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Everyone I know is a guy, during day to day life I don't run into any girls that I can talk with and have shit naturally flow, and the few that I do run into all have boyfriends
What do I do
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>>17719029
I was in the same situation for the past two years up until recently. See pic related.
Given, I'm a bit taller than average and somewhat attractive (this can be subjective, but many people have said so), I found someone at a party who I still see on regular basis after 3 weeks.
It might have been dumb luck, but I think the point is to just get out, not just outside but to just be more out there as a person. Maybe you can get a bit of dumb luck as well.
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>>17719104
Pic rel is irrelevant, I've made out with multiple girls at parties and shit but every fucking time their friends get in the way, or they are literally too drunk to walk because no one can just drink without getting wasted
On top of that, getting attention from party girls =/= to having literally any success with normal girls
Its two entirely different things, and finding parties and shit is hard, so is getting in
And even if you get in, most of the time some shit tier luck will fuck it up like what happened with me last night
This is why I want a girlfriend so I can bypass all this shit and not have to worry about it anymore
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The majority of the Earth is covered with women. You're going to be alright.
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I met a dude about two months ago and he seemed super interested in me. He said he had a long distance girlfriend but would choose to spend time with me instead of talking to her. We got super close.
Then all of a sudden he completely stops texting, calling, playing games with me and wanting to hang out. I asked him why he's avoiding me and he said "not really, he's avoiding everyone" sort of bullshit excuse. The point is that I'm being purposefully avoided and it sucks because I genuinely liked this guy and thought he and his long distance girlfriend were done.
Apparently not.
Can anyone provide a theory as to what happened?
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>>17718993
You got clamjammed and 'zoned, bucko.
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Things with his long distance relationship changed and he realised he wanted to stay with her.
Maybe by spending more time with you, he realised it wouldn't go anywhere and lost interest.
The only thing you can do is wait for him to come back to you and explain himself. Keep in mind he might not do that though.
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He sounds like he's going through something, but your focus is on yourself? Fucking lol. Why do you assume things instead of asking him? This is looking like a failed relationship already since you don't even trust what he says now, what would happen later?
Anonymous
How should I look at my situation. 2016-10-30 15:41:02 Post No.17718980
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How should I look at my situation. 2016-10-30 15:41:02 Post No.17718980
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How should I look at my situation.
Anonymous
2016-10-30 15:41:02
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When I was in HS I was also bullied. But my bullies were my friends, see my friends my age had older brothers and older friends. These older friends of theirs were bullies, but because I wanted to have friends I hung around them. They bullied me on a racial reason, they would call me darkie and that name stuck threw HS. They would steal my yugioh cards, video games, money etc and I would let them because I wanted friends. They would also physically abuse me beatings, chokings etc. It was hell. On top of that I had regular random bullies. A kid gave me a black eye for no reason in the 7th grade and another kid busted my tooth threw my lip had to get stitches for that. All this time I kept all this hidden from my parents well except the black eye because that happened at school and the tooth threw my lip I made up a story that I fell skating. At 27 I look back and im kinda mad at my 14 year old self because I let all that happened. Had I been a good kid and just been content with being at home alone I would have been a better more mentally healthy person. Kinda crazy but sometimes I dont know who to blame, my self, the bullies or my parents. In the end though I feel I should have known better
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>>17718980
Dude, doesn't fucking matter. All that shit is in the past. Move the fuck on, or you will never grow up.
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>>17718980
>At 27
>AT 27
hoooooly shit. and still worrying about high school. dude im 4 years older than you and i was the goth kid in high school *cringe* but i realize im a completely different person now so that shits all null and void.
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>>17718991
Yeah will im kinda having quarter life crisis, here I havent done shit with myself and for some reason I keep remembering these events. Ive noticed ppl still bully me in life but not physical, verbally idk why I attract that negative attention. Sometimes I feel cursed other times I feel that I legit am the problem.
Anonymous
Cant stay up when it's cold in my room 2016-10-30 15:37:20 Post No.17718969
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Cant stay up when it's cold in my room 2016-10-30 15:37:20 Post No.17718969
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Cant stay up when it's cold in my room
Anonymous
2016-10-30 15:37:20
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Hey I don't know but it's getting colder here and I just can't really stay up anymore. I usually wake up at 5:30 am, but since my room is so cold now, i don't wanna wake up and sometimes i even sleep until 6:30 a.m. I had never problems staying up so early, but It's very hard when it's very cold in my room or outside.
I sleep at 10 or 11 p.m and i think i should try sleeping earlier like 9 pm.
I dont smoke, drink or have any other problems with my body. I had depression last year but thats gone and i dont eat anything when it's 6. pm.
Do you guys also have that problem? how do you fix it?
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. . . are you too poor to afford a space heater?
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>>17718974
No, i dont wanna waste electric
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Anyone still got some tips?
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My female best friend, who is dating my other best friend, is very unhelpful when it comes to girls. I want her to help me get a girlfriend, and she has helped my other friend recently. Every time I ask her about X or Y girl, she is always saying something negative or trying to turn me away. It's very noticeable that she get irritated when I talk about other girls around her; she pretends she doesn't hear, she leaves, or bashes on the girls.
Is she just afraid she will lose my attention if I get a girlfriend? She is a very close friend and we talk about everything together, but man, she of all people knows how bad I need a girlfriend and she said it herself, but I don't get why she acts the way she does when it comes down to action.
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>>17718934
Your sense of entitlement is pretty strong.
Reality Check: You are asking her for a favor. She is not obligated to do it, nor is she obligated to tell you why - any more than if you asked her for a loan or some other favor and she said No.
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>>17718934
Maybe you are an unsalvable piece of shit, and she's trying to let you down easy by talkkng bad about those other girls. I mean, she can sweet talk those girls about you all she wants all day to help you, but at the end of the day, if you're unredeemable, her reputation goes down for upselling you.
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>>17718934
Seems like she's being selfish and trying to keep you from being with a girl. I think it's not the fact that she's afraid she will lose all your attention but the fact that she wants all your attention. Stop asking her to get you a girl and find one with the help of someone else or just by yourself.
Alternatively, you could bring it up and ask her why is she doing that, but there's no sure way to know that her answer won't also be manipulative.
Anonymous
How to stop being bitter? 2016-10-30 15:14:57 Post No.17718916
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How to stop being bitter? 2016-10-30 15:14:57 Post No.17718916
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How to stop being bitter?
Anonymous
2016-10-30 15:14:57
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How do I stop being so incredibly bitter? Last month I was dumped by my girlfriend in a pretty brutal way, but the problem is her brother is also my best friend. Yeah, I was stupid to attempt that one. Being dumped for the first time was bad enough, but trying to move on is difficult when I have her brother there as a constant reminder. Not only does his very presence remind me of her, but he'll occasionally mention how she moved out and got an amazing job, and I know shouldn't care but it makes me feel physically sick. It's only a matter of time before he mentions she has a new boyfriend with a 10 inch dick, and it's going to make me snap. I've told him to never mention her again, but he still does it every so often.
So if anyone has been in a similar situation, how do you move on? I want to stop being angry and don't particularly want to lose my friend, but at the moment it feels impossible. I imagine it would be easier if I got into another relationship, but that was the only one I've ever been in so I have no idea how long it will be before the next one comes along.
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>>17718916
Talk to him, and maybe take a break with being friends with him for a bit too. Say you just want to regather your thoughts and reaffirm who you are with some solitude.
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>>17718930
well thats the problem. a lot of these people that post this stuff have ZERO self worth and need others to make them feel useful. being alone is absolute torture. they fall apart if they are not liked by something.
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>>17718945
It's not that I necessarily need him - he's a bit of a cunt, it's just just that he's been my closest friend for a long time and completely getting rid of him seems extreme. But on the other hand, recently he has been making me feel legitimately horrible. I'm starting to wonder if it's one of those friendships where we're only really friends because we've been friends for a long time.
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I fucking hate myself.
My face is round with fat cheeks, weak jaws and weak chin even with a low bf%. I had sinus problems all my life.
I'm short and have a small frame.
I'm completely unattractive.
My personality gets me somewhere but no girl wants a relationship/something serious because I don't possess good looks.
I have given up on people but I hate my face when I see it in the mirror.
I completely hate myself physically. I feel like I have zero control over that.
I want to look good when I see myself but I can't change anything.
I can't accept it neither. I can compensate looks with my achievements but at the end of the day when I see myself I hate myself.
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Save up money and get surgery. It gives better results than you think and doesn't cost as much as people claim. What would you enjoy more, a face you can actually look at, or a car?
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>>17718893
What are you - like 12 or so? The more you mature, the more you get away from the teenage world, the more you will encounter women who (having matured themselves) do NOT measure men solely by looks.
And then it will be only your sour resentful attitude that chases them away, unless you dial that way down.
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>>17718893
Anonymous
Friends gfs tell them I'm thier backup 2016-10-30 14:50:36 Post No.17718861
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Friends gfs tell them I'm thier backup 2016-10-30 14:50:36 Post No.17718861
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Friends gfs tell them I'm thier backup
Anonymous
2016-10-30 14:50:36
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All my friends that have girlfriends tell me, and their gfs, tell me If they weren't dating my friend they would be dating me. I've seen some girls say this infront of their bfs which causes some giant argument. I'm a FA and apparently a 6 with no female in my life so I don't understand why they say this stuff.
Is this just some elaborate shit girls do to make thier bfs jealous? If so, why do they all fucking target me? Just the most obvious beta backup male?
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>>17718861
Well, I'd say it means you're in second place so tune up your engines and cuck all of your friends.
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>>17718861
>I'm a FA and apparently a 6
A fucking what?
>Is this just some elaborate shit girls do to make thier bfs jealous
Yes. Like 9 outta 10 times yes.
I dont know how yall can do this shit or have this shit happen and NOT be assertive. Especially if these dudes you say its happening to are indeed your friends.
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>>17718886
I'm saying I have no fucking female interests and on the 1 to 10 scale I am a 6 based on female feedback
Be assertive how? I don't know what I should do. I just say ok and think wtf
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Hi /adv/. My wife and l are about to have a children. l'm spanish and she's french. What would be the best way to teach him/her french/spanish/english without mixing up the languages?
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They'll learn the difference between the two and be able to switch by the time they're fully talking.
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>>17718838
I wouldn't worry too much about them mixing it up, kids learn silly fast and absorb all the shit they hear and see. Sure, they'll make mistakes first like making sentences out of multiple languages but school will sort it out. Encourage him/her/them reading books in each of the language too and they'll be fine.
Just some guy who grew up in a trilingual environment and learned English afterwards here.
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>>17718838
The same way you teach babies to speak in the first place. Repetition. But instead of saying the one word a bunch of times, you have to say it a bunch of times in the three languages.