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How do I approach telling my SO that I don't think I'm the problem anymore, and I need him to at least TRY work with me?
In the last 3 years it basically went like:
>have problems
>things get so bad I go sleep on couch often
>always crying over things he says/does
>blame myself because of past issues of depression
>go on meds
>cut down drinking almost entirely
>exercise, serious introspection, self improvement
>think meds killed libido
>2 years on meds, stop them so maybe I can want to have sex again
>6 months off meds
>still don't want sex but sorta just go with it if it happens
>still crying over things he says/does
>avoid bed and stay awake, work at night
I don't even think I'm depressed anymore. I've lived with it long before the relationship, and I know that I'm actually in a very good place on a personal level.
I've realized that these problems might actually be the relationship. After spending ages trying to find the root cause in myself, I saw a support group for people with ADHD partners, and shit suddenly makes total sense.
Pretty much every single story/checklist/problem related to it fits everything I've been feeling all these years to a T. He does actually have diagnosed ADHD, as well as his mother and sister.
So how do I bring it up? He's had a super easy time just letting me blame myself for everything wrong in our relationship. He's also a stubborn as fuck /pol/tard who doesn't believe in treatment or medication and lately considers himself a "stoic".
I feel like if I show him any blog posts or self-help on the topic he'll just ignore it and keep doing everything as is. We've already tried couples therapy briefly in the past and that was a gigantic waste of time because it's back to square one like, a month later with him.
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>>18399205
Try talking about it to him in an honest way without being cruel, if he listens then great, you can work on it, if he doesn't then it's probably time to leave him, I'm surprised you haven't already to be honest.
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>>18399217
It's hard not to sound bitter or resentful when that's what I end up feeling most of the time. If I'm not, I try and enjoy it and avoid bringing up anything in case I just ruin it again.
I've told him before I'd like to have a serious discussion, and to let me know when he is available. I've so far been reminding him that this is still the case about every 3 weeks.
Last time I tried to have any kind of "talk" he asked me to leave him alone without even pausing his game or turning his face away from the computer. (Which is his standard way of being, the only time to catch him off the PC is when he's in the toilet so I can't do that).
I'm honestly at the end of my rope. It's hardly fair for me to just up and bail without trying everything since I know I'm not the easiest person either, but I just don't really know what more I can DO.
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>>18399205
>always crying over things he says/does
Who do grown up adult women always do this? Always.
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Today the doctor said I had a high blood pressure and had to check it three times, this worries me a bit because my father had heart and bp problems.
My question is what can I do to reduce blood pressure ? Does masturbating make it worse ? I'm only 19
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>>18399072
Physical activity in general can help you. Also reduce your salt intake and quit smoking if you do, and lose weight.
These are the first steps a doctor would recommend
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dry squeezing a lemon and add water , drink it whenever you feel that your bp is high
my mum does that and it helps alot
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>>18399114
try*
Anonymous
Is Paying People To Be Your Friends Worth It? 2017-06-08 08:42:59 Post No.18399069
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Is Paying People To Be Your Friends Worth It? 2017-06-08 08:42:59 Post No.18399069
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Is Paying People To Be Your Friends Worth It?
Anonymous
2017-06-08 08:42:59
Post No. 18399069
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I pay this guy $8/hour to hang out with me and stuff. So far it's going pretty good but it's draining away my bank account and it may seem kind of pathetic. Do you think this is worth it or am i being scammed?
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>>18399069
No different than paying for a hooker. But if he isn't sucking your dick then re evaluate your agreement
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>>18399069
Uh yeah you could probably find a dude to hang out with you for free. What do you do with your rent a friend? There are probably people that share those interests. Maybe check out a meetup group with a certain interest you have or are interested in pursuing. What made you get a rent a friend in the first place? Are you afraid to be vulnerable or rejected? Don't take rejection personally, realize there are people that you wouldn't jive with and that it's not that you hate them, you just wouldnt hang out with them.
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>>18399087
Well i mainly just follow around these people but they let me do it since i pay them
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Am I becoming too weird by normie standards?
Then:
>live with long term gf, dogs, house, good paying but stressful job
>go out on weekends
Now:
>live alone in a 5 bedroom house
>masturbate 3-5 times a day
>only have sex when I'm out of the country, or if girls I've hooked up with come to visit
>smoke pot and play vidya all day
>only leave house to surf or buy food
>don't do any chores, pay people to do yard work, house is a mess
>travel overseas frequently
I feel like my neighbors see me as a fuck up. Only people that visit me at home are my family and I'll throw obnoxiously loud bbqs for my degenerate friends whenever
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>>18398899
Do you enjoy the life that you have currently?
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>>18398905
I do but I feel like a huge degenerate or hedonist. The only long term goal I've met this year was landing a surf trick that kids half my age learn.
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>>18398899
thats not really weird. if you have the resources for a big house, then that has nothing to do with being weird.
if the normies knew about your masturbation some would say its weird others would relate.
as for sex thats not weird, you have sex with established partners
lots of people smoke pot and play vidya all day
you basically go outside to do what you like. some people will think you should do more but its not weird.
plenty of people are messy
plenty of people travel.
this isnt weird at all to be honest. not the most mainstream but not weird.
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I accidentally sent my mom and sister all.my porn and they're going confront me later. What should I say or do? Im really nervous.
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>>18398835
Deal with it, nut up and say it was an accident.
I would personally an hero but that's just me.
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what type of porn op? was vanilla stuff or was it hentai/loli or some degenerate shit like that?
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>>18398858
Beastiality , a vanilla , gore/loli hentai , rule 34 of parappa the rapper characters and yaoi. Is this the end? Oh well.
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Is offering money to shoot a porn video with somebody legal in the US?
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>>18398826
yes. if you don't film it it's called prostitution
you also have to pay taxes if you make money out of it
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>>18398849
What if I'm filming it for my own private collection and don't post it anywhere?
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>>18398850
if she knows she's being filmed then yes. If (big if, small chance of happening) they catch you for buying a hooker you could say you were hoping to start your own porn channel in the future or some shit
tl;dr if she knows its all good
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okay /adv/ I need some /adv/
I fucked up real bad with my GF, and basically now I need to win her trust back/ show her I'm trustworthy.
any suggestions on how to do this?
>pic unrelated
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dump her.
find new GF.
It is the only way.
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Define fucked up.
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>>18398760
What'd you do and who did you fuck
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>never had a real girlfriend
>want it more then everything else
>1st year at uni
>met cute girl i think i love her i dont do that often
>she has a boyfriend it fucking kills me
>i get somewhat good grades but the bad one just fucking rip me to pieces
i really need help on getting a grip on my life all i do is smoke and feel bad for myself
pic unrealted
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Step 1. Quit smoking
Step 2. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.
Step 3. Repeat after me, "quit being a wussy".
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You smoke cigarettes or marijuana?
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>>18398878
cigs
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GF of 4yrs isn't interested in sex anymore, instead she'd give me handjobs whenever i am horny for her.
I tried talking to her multiple times but she doesn't really give me an answer.
I think she is also grossed out when i cum, is she hiding in the closet or am i overthinking things?
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She's got someone on the side
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>>18398720
I doubt it because we live together, unless it's someome she texts with bc she's always on her phone >_<
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>>18398734
>unless it's someome she texts with bc she's always on her phone >_<
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What the fuck is going on here?
>Enjoy a bit of femdom.
>Post in /soc/ threads.
>It's all dudes.
>Discover some women like fat guys.
>Be fat.
>Oh cool.
>Most people talking about it are dudes.
>The women who are into it want sissies.
>Meet a QT.
>Get to talking.
>Everything is going well.
>So, wanna go out?
>WHAT? NO!
>She starts dating a black dude.
>Meet a QT.
>She likes what you like.
>You apparently have a compatible personality.
>She compliments you frequently.
>She also compliments that guy...and that guy...and that guy...
>Realize she's creating an orbiter harem.
>She starts verbally abusing me.
>Tell her that shit ain't gonna fly.
>WOW, YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE.
>Meet QT.
>Talks about sex a LOT.
>Tells me in explicit detail how exactly she masturbates.
>Tells me about her various sexual encounters.
>One day complains about how horny she is.
>So...you want me to help you with that, or what?
>WHAT? NO. GIVE ME $20.
Stop me from believing women are shallow and going MGTOW.
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>>18398669
What's so weird about this? What makes these women "shallow" exactly?
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Okay I didn't get the third one, was she a hooker?
But the first one, she was nice but just didn't like you. What's shallow about that?
And the second one is friendly and compliments everyone. She's not creating a harem, she's being nice and probably likes making people feel good. She doesn't just compliment men who are in her age range I imagine, she does it to everyone. And then you guys got into an argument, which happens. Do you think men you don't get along with are shallow too?
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>>18398669
Wait, wait... Are you meeting women from /soc/?
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Partner sent me a message earlier this afternoon saying their friend had been in touch and wanted to hang out after work. I said go for it and to enjoy themselves, it's not very often that they go out.
I got a text this evening saying they had lost their bank card because a machine stole it and they had run out of phone data. I called them to check everything was okay and see if they needed to be picked up because no cash - no answer. Called three more times over the space of an hour with no answer.
They met with a friend who I really don't think would mind if they answered their phone. I am a bit of a worrier and they are well aware of this, so I don't understand why they haven't answered or at least text back to say they're ok.
What gives?
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>>18398631
My partner u mean ur faggot bf?
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>>18398634
Yeah sure if that's what you want to take from my post. It's irrelevant surely?
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>>18398631
My advices is they might be fucking or might not be,the thing with coincidence is it shouldn't be too often. Meeting a friend that he don't hang too much, lost bank card, lost way of contact, and now way to get to ur cocksucker.
U tell me wtf is going on
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whats with women thinkig men are ugly on dating websites etc but in real life they date the ugliest mother fuckers? is it cause they dont get to see their personality LOL?
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>>18398475
Yeah charisma makes a big difference, and that's hard to demonstrate online.
If you're on a dating site you're assuming they already have shit personalities though desu.
NB the guy in the pic isn't ugly. 6.5/10 would.
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>>18398475
Is that you? Holy fuck, I've never seen such a convincing irl Wojak
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>>18398475
I've never understood it either. Some of these girls are good looking and they date these ugly mf'ers with shit personalities. I'm like really? They must either have really low self esteem or be dumber than a box of rocks.
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I need advice, so, please, hear my story.
I married my wife last year in summer. We had known each other only for about a year before that, so, yes, it was rushed. I've realized a while ago, shortly after our honeymoon, what a big fucking mistake I made. I don't love my wife, fuck, I don't even like her.
She's a chain smoker that refuses to quit, a heavy drinker, fat, ugly, a massive former slut and values career and commodities over everything else, basically "Why quit smoking if I can spend 700$ on tooth bleaching" mentality. What she lacks in self control she makes up for in vanity, yet she takes zero care of her body and health.
I want to leave and divorce her. I am currently unable to do so as I am still in college and financially dependent on her(she earns about three times as much as i do). I will graduate soon and I'm already on the look out for a new job.
Should I do it? Should I gtfo ASAP or stay and try to see the good in her? I'm 30 now and I want a wife and children and I just can't see that happening with her.
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Well, if you feel that strongly about it, there doesn't seem to be any other choice, but how the fuck did you end up marrying someone you seem to despise this severely ?
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>>18398444
If its that bad don't drag it out, end it asap.
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>>18398444
Get ready to bail. Do not make babies with someone you can't stand to live with. It will only make it 10X worse. Stay until you get a job and can support yourself. Then move on. Learn from this experience and choose wisely next time. Living alone and being miserable is still better than living with someone else and being miserable because in addition to all the misery, you have to put up with all of their annoying shit.
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>asked a classmate to watch a movie with me
>was expecting a laptop, dvd, at a cafe kind of deal
>she asks if there was somewhere we could crash
>I offered my place, she says thats cool and would bring booze
should I be assuming that she wants the D?
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She wants to watch it alone with you.
...
She wants something.
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Didn't you just post this 2 days ago? No don't assume that!
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>>18398382
that means it never happened
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any beautiful soul out there?
just broke up with my girlfriend this is really long but I'll try to sum it up
>be me 8 years ago, 17yrs old
>met awesome girl
>hit t of really well and we start dating
>learns she has cancer, lukemia
>goes to us, says i should go with her
>cant leave family now, 19yrs old
>meets her cousin
>we get along and fight but mostly get along
>cousin was our bridge for communication
>learns gf is cheating on me
>cousin is there
>went out with cousin things are going fine
>gf dies
>cousin consoles me and fell for her
>iknowitsstupid.jpeg
>but we really hit it off
>then her father has a stroke
>father is in london
>moves to london
>tells me we should split
>fighting for this girl is worth it
>start LDR
>after 3 years, already 25 yrs old suddenly turns cold
>ask what happened today
>jokingly ask about dude thats flirting with her
>says they're dating for 5 months already
>hepoopedhercherry.jpeg
>she loves him
>ask why
>says she doesn't know
>gave up when she told me he came inside her when fertile
>really just crying right now
i need help, should i fight for her and go to her?
she said distance was the cause and says i deserve better, but i know i deserve her
i loved her with all i can especially when her cousin died and told us to be happy together through a letter. I just dont know what to do. And thank you for reading all the way here, i cant get my mind to focus right now and might have left details out.
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anyone out there?
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shameful bump
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you guys were young bro, you had love for her that she couldn't return. When she said you deserve better she has never been more right in her entire life. i know it's tough but she is literally not worth fighting for mate. Contact some friends go to a bar or even use dating apps to find other girls