How do I approach telling my SO that I don't think I'm

>>18399205
Try talking about it to him in an honest way without being cruel, if he listens then great, you can work on it, if he doesn't then it's probably time to leave him, I'm surprised you haven't already to be honest.

>>18399217
It's hard not to sound bitter or resentful when that's what I end up feeling most of the time. If I'm not, I try and enjoy it and avoid bringing up anything in case I just ruin it again.

I've told him before I'd like to have a serious discussion, and to let me know when he is available. I've so far been reminding him that this is still the case about every 3 weeks.
Last time I tried to have any kind of "talk" he asked me to leave him alone without even pausing his game or turning his face away from the computer. (Which is his standard way of being, the only time to catch him off the PC is when he's in the toilet so I can't do that).

I'm honestly at the end of my rope. It's hardly fair for me to just up and bail without trying everything since I know I'm not the easiest person either, but I just don't really know what more I can DO.

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>>18399205
>always crying over things he says/does
Who do grown up adult women always do this? Always.

>>18399205
>>18399205
1. Either you're in an abusive relationship and should end it
or
2. You're lying to us and/or yourself and he isn't that bad.

If he says he's a stoic then he will not feel bad if you break up with him. This sounds like you need him more than he needs you.

You have to keep pushing him to change if you want something to happen. Be warned that if he does actually change then you might all of a sudden try to drop him completely.

Do you find yourself attracted to other men?

>>18399259
It kind of sounds like he's trying to improve himself but he's not quite at the point that he will. Lot's of men improve themselves significantly after being dumped

>>18399205

>couples counseling didn't work
>trying to talk to SO doesn't work
>already done a bunch of self improvement
>he's stubborn and refuses to change despite all this

I know it's the standard option, but have you considered leaving so that you can be happy?

>>18399270
If it makes you feel better I only do this when he's not around. It's a release for pent up emotions from holding back on being unreasonably emotional until I've sorted through my own feelings and picked out what's reasonable and what is just "in the moment".

>>18399277
I never said he's 100% horrible. Just neglectful and insensitive.

It's funny how you ask if I'm attracted to other men like you've already got this whole narrative down.
I have no interest in other men at all. I like being a homebody, and keeping to myself. I just don't want to be ignored and neglected by the ONE person who I am supposed to be getting attention from. The world can burn so long as I can have a partner to roast mashmellows with.
>>18399284
>>18399289
I get that this is the general consensus but I don't believe in divorce. I have certain principles and I made it very clear before getting married that this is important to me.
What I'm asking for is ideas to actually open up the discussion. I know I can leave, but I want to exhaust absolutely every possible avenue before I conclude that it's the only way.

>>18399304
No, I don't have the narrative down, that's why I asked.

If you are saying that he's just "neglectful and insensitive" then odds are that's just you.

That being said.
>What I'm asking for is ideas to actually open up the discussion.
You have to do something that will make him notice and given that we don't know your circumstances, the leaving option is the most effective piece of advice we can give you. I'm not a girl though but what would probably do it for me is if you kind of nagged me incessantly in a playful manner. Being extremely playful in general. If he get's mad, don't be sad or angry about it just keep being playful. Do this enough to the point that he is eventually forced to acknowledge the discussion, and even after he acknowledges it, keep making sure by testing him each day or 2 instead of every week.

>>18399347
May not have been that clear in my comments, but I'm pretty sure now that nearly everything that sets me off is a result of his ADHD symptoms. So much of the stuff is reactive and I want to try address the actual root of the problem. How do I get playful about something like that?

But otherwise thanks for the idea, might give that a try in a less serious situation.

>>18399362
My bad didn't consider it might be that bad. I actually have a family friend with ADHD and he tends to piss off EVERYONE. People end up being astonished that I can handle hanging out with him so well. What I advised should be very good in this situation then. You just have to keep bringing it up even when he switches the topic, and don't feel bad when he switches the topic because there's no avoiding it.

You can be playful by poking him over and over or repeating "Hey anon, hey anon, hey anon..." Or biting him lightly randomly.

I would also suggest doing meditation with him each day.
1. He'd probably be down with it as a way to make himself stronger
2. It's a group activity to bring you closer
3. It will address the ADHD and probably lessen the effects

>>18399404
Make it a habit to do the meditation each day. Don't skip a day just because you are feeling bad either as you'd be more likely to skip more and more days and you'd revert to a previous situation

>>18399404
That sounds like a pretty awesome thing to do, desu. Routines are anathema to him and I've been trying to find a way to set one up that isn't too scary to get a ball rolling.

I really want to suggest things like date nights, schedule some sex, all that sort of stuff in future, but every time I try bring him up he's like "No I hate schedules you know I like being spontaneous!" and nothing ever happens.

This seems like a good start. Thanks anon!

>>18399428
Lol yeah don't schedule that stuff. It should/and will come about naturally