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Hi bros, can you help me to solve this somewhat deep philosophical question.
What kind of thinking do you need, to be non-combatant and non-competitif in your thinking and actions; and still be strong against agressors who are 'violent in words' or just violent.
Some background info, I want to achieve this. because supposly being non-combatant and non-competitif in your thinking and actions makes other people be more helpfull and it gives you more security etc.
But I still don't want to be weak against assholes.
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I mean non-competitive , not non-competitif
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Don't go into conversations or arguments seeking to win; listen well, take your time in formulating replies that seek a peaceful resolution to the dialogue I'm a firm, yet calm tone.
You might also want to Google how to deal with angry customers, as I feel this may fit in with the type of bullshit customer service representatives have to deal with.
Wit also helps, but it's a bit hard to learn and pull off properly without escalating things unnecessarily.
Also Google-able (how to become wittier).
Good luck, anon.
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>>17404021
this looks very usefull, thank you
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So I did the big fuckup /adv/. I got a girl pregnant. We're both okay with going through with the abortion as sick as it's making both of us feel, but I just wanna know what to expect walking into the office. If it's a smaller place are they used to people coming in without appointments, or is that even more frowned upon than getting one in the first place? It's already tearing me up inside but neither of us are very well off and wouldn't be able to provide a good life for the kid. Pic is unrelated.
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Depends on the country.
Anyway, make sure it´s a legitimate medical place - licences and everything, you might look up reviews online too.
Don´t be afraid to google the thing (but google things like "what to expect" to avoid the pro-life campaigns)
In my country, gynecologists do this, meaning the doctors, where girls go for checkups, pills and everything and in that case, it´s like a normal doctor´s office, kinda similar to dentist´s, only the seat is a bit different.
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>>17403946
You can always go the adoption route or harden the fuck up and realize you don't need to be well off to be a good parent.
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It really depends on what state you are in. If you are on the west coast or in the north east it will be a lot more relaxed of a situation. South to mid west, good luck, I hear they have all kinds of wacky laws that make it a pretty sad and uncomfortable experience. Call the place you plan on going to first to get a feel for what they can do for you and be thorough in asking questions. Also make sure you are calling an actual clinic, I've heard about fake clinics that are set up by christians to try and guilt you into not going through the procedure. Either way, you are making a good call if you can't provide a good life for the kid.
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I'm roommates with my best friend and his girlfriend and I'm worried about my buddy's future. We're all 21 years old. My friend and I both pay the bills 50/50 (he pays slightly more for rent but everything else is 50/50. His girlfriend pays for nothing, is 21, has never had a job, and dropped out of High School as a junior. They've been together 5 years and I can see it wearing on him. He's grown more and more agitated with everything recently. At this point he's not only supporting her financially, but emotionally as well. He never wants to go out anymore because he always has to pay for everything twice. She's an okay person, but she has a really shitty attitude and complains about us leaving dishes around (which is literally her ONLY responsibility) and I'm sick of it, so I can only imagine him. We've discussed it before and I don't think he wants to break up with her, but he knows she needs to change even though she has no desire to. She needs to realize what it's like to be a functioning adult and we slightly talked about having her go back home to get her GED because as far as I know you can't get a job ANYWHERE unless you have a GED or Diploma (correct me if I'm wrong). How can I bring this topic up to him again without sounding like I just want to shit talk her? I just want my buddy to have a decent future and not have to live with a literal leech.
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You need to tell this to your friend. It is really up to him what he does, but make it clear you are looking out for his better interest.
Also if she bothers you as much as you lead on, you should mention that too.
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>>17403943
> This
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>>17403943
This.
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Recently I have thought about going with disability to help me get through school. The reason I am going on it is because my leg and spine are super fucked from an accident some few years ago, and it makes working a typical job impossible (can't stand or walk much). I feel kinda guilty about getting on it, as I always hear about how people who use it are just leeches and all that.
But otherwise there isn't going to be a lot I can do, as I can't really work, and I need to be able to afford school and living. So what do you think?
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Do it, those are perfectly sound reasons. :)
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Be sure to have plenty of proof/evidence to back up your claim.
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What bag do you guys carry for work? I'm deciding if I should get a backpack or use my laptop bag. I want to carry my laptop for work and maybe some clothes, but it won't fit.
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>>17403919
split the difference and get a messenger bag. its slightly biger than a laptop bag, enough so that you can add clothes, but it still hangs on the side, which feels a lot more mature than a backpack, which is really weird to wear if ur like me and wear a business suit
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I own a Tumi and I also own a Filson, both medium size computer bags.
The Tumi is nice, pros everywhere use them and will give you the nod for having good taste.
If I were to do it again I would get an all leather Tumi, or gone with something a little different like a Saddleback.
Don't cheap out on the bag, my dude.
Also, messenger bags are for fags, don't liksten to that other guy. Arcteyx makes some really nice packs that can be business appropriate. I have a Blade 21 (discontinued) that held up pretty good, but no longer is suitable for business settings.
For your first nice bag, just go with the nylon Tumi, don't forget to register the tracking plate and also get your initials embossed onto the leather tag.
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>>17403919
Get another backpack that can hold it.
I have one, which I luckily got a sponsor gift from a bank. which has a laptop sleeve, and fits my 15,6screen perfectly.
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Okay guys so here's the problem.
Little backstory:
I'm studying and taking a part-time job so i won't leech off my parents like most of my peers do. Since i have holidays now, and one of the guys quit so he could work with his uncle i got more workhours, which i clearly stated i wanted when holidays hit.
Now let's cut to the case.
We hired one more person to fill the gap after that 1 guy quit, so we were full housed and everybody had enough hours. We all agreed to work 10/12 hour shifts since it lets us save more money. Today, from damn nowhere i get informed that they hired another person. I'm like what the fuck, somebody's hours gonna clearly be cut. Since 2 people work there full time i got hit the most, and that's something i clearly didn't agree on. Things look like this: new guy over 80 hours, me exactly 70 hours (which is less than a half from what i had this month) and the girl we hired before him 40 hours. I saw that and was like what the fuck is going on. Then, i looked at how many hours i'd have to work a day. Guess what, from 10/12 hour shitfs we got dropped to shifts ranging from 5 to 8 hours. My boss is well aware that it's not worth for me to come to work for 5 hours, since the money i'd earn that day would go on gasoline/food i have to buy while working.
So here's my question: am i getting silently buttfucked here? Should i make a fuss about how it was not what i've agreed on? I'm pretty fucking sure i'm gonna drop this part-timer after next month because somebody clearly isn't respecting my expectations, so why should i respect theirs.
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>>17403861
>you spend roughly 50% of your paycheck on gas and food PER DAY
what the fuck? are you sure you arent exaggerating? fifty bucks a day for food and gas is ludicrous.
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>>17403906
I'm not from the US, working in a poorfag EU country. I drive 30 kilometers to my workplace, so it's 60 kilometers a day. If i work for 5-6 hours only it basically means that that day's paycheck goes for gas and food.
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>>17403906
They are probably waiting tables, tips are most of your salary and most of the time they won't feed you. Waiting tables fucking sucks.
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How is it possible to be so filled with self-hatred without being able to pinpoint it?
I'm trying to figure myself out here.
I can try to reason it with myself: "I'm ugly", well there's a lot of far uglier people in the world and at least I'm not disfigured or so. "I'm dumb", sure I'm not an intellectual but I still do pretty well, get good grades at university and isn't an actual total retard. Etc.
I can't actually really reason it for myself, but I feel self-hatred overwhelmingly strongly.
How does that work?
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>>17403856
self criticism is very rarely truly just 'self' criticism. it is brought about by the combined opinions of others, and the media.
whether or not you are ugly is unimportant. if you were called ugly by someone once when you were in fifth grade, and everyone laughed, you'd carry that quite a distance.
when movies star guys who are insanely attractive, or even the ugly guys manage to get a long string of female conquests that are model tier, it makes you wonder what you are doing wrong. you may be able to state 'i know thats not real'. but when you continue to consume it, it sticks with you.
its like porn. you know you are not having sex with those girls. but your brain thinks it is.
reverse engineer that. you know its just a movie, but your brain thinks that htere is an alpha male doing better than you, and you must compete with him.
combine that iwth how easy it is to read about people whining on the internet, and its a rough life.
the more connected we get, the more exposure we have to others lives, the less relevant our own lives seem.
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So I broke up with gf 3 weeks ago and the first week I was feeling really good, like the world was at hands reach and all I had to do was decide what to do with it.
Last monday I've started seeing her again (we go to the same school) and now I feel like shit every day and my self esteem dropped really bad and even worse, she started to make things in front of me to piss me off.
Any advice on how can I become a human being again?
Sorry if my english is crap. Pic unrelated.
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Anyone?
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Give time to time
Ignore her
Start doing your own stuff
Get a hobby
The usual stuff
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>>17403831
we've all gone through it. Takes time so suck it up. Just know it will happen again and again so next time don't date anyone you work with or go to school with or in the same social circle. When it ends you can get away and stay away. I suggest at school, avoid her best you can
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I got my first grey hair exactly on my 29th birthday. Can I extrapolate anything from this? Will I see more grey throughout the next year to 30?
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>>17403812
Pull it out
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Not necessarily, I got my first gray hair around age 21 and I only have one more gray hair. I'm 24 now.
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leave it in gray hair means you're gaining wisdom.
Should I expand my metal band to put a custom percussionist(s) in the band.
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Don't limit your band based on how you think it should be perceived. Try something new, it might just work.
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>>17403804
Depends on what your sound is going to be. For a band like Slipknot, I don't feel like it is necessary for them considering their core sound is like every other nu metal band: guitars, bass, and drums.
If you have creative ideas that go beyond that style of metal music, and if you feel that custom percussion is essential for conveying your ideas effectively in a live setting, then go for it. Or you could hire live musicians like Sepultura did when they had their tribal nu metal phase. Otherwise you can just put whatever percussive sounds you want in your music while recording.
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>>17403804
>>17403938
I forgot to mention the idea of using a backing track since not many people can hire live musicians. Again, it all depends on what your sound is going to be and what your goals are for your music project -- whether you want to take your band out and if your style is really dependent on custom percussive sounds.
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i'm a 23 years old /v/irgin so i need some advice please
>started talking to a girl on whatsapp because her cousin is my friend and gave me her number
>she lives in a town 30km away from mine and she doesn't drive so it's gonna be hard to meet
>we talked for about one week and i asked her to go out with me this saturday
>she said she couldn't because she's going to some church meeting on saturday and her cousin confirmed it's true
>then she said she's going to some party in my town on august 12th and asked me to go so we can meet there for the first time
her cousin says she's extremely shy and i have to be patient if i want something with her
i haven't talked to her in 2 days because my friend told me to and she didn't start any conversation as well
should i wait until august 12th or just forget about her? i really enjoy talking to her and if things don't work out i'll probably NEVER EVER talk to another girl again
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Go to her, anon. You can only regret what you never do :)
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Start talking to her again. Even if it's hi how was your day. An go from there. If you wait till August without talking to her there's a good chance she will forget you an go with Sumone else. An you show up looking like a fool. All cuz you didn't talk to her
Anonymous
QUESTIONS ABOUT DEPERSONALIZATION 2016-07-28 20:58:22 Post No.17403701
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QUESTIONS ABOUT DEPERSONALIZATION
Anonymous
2016-07-28 20:58:22
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I've suffered from pretty bad depersonalization the past months or so. Everything from nature to talking made me feel weird, and looking at other people was a chore. O was obsessed with the way things look and work and how weird everything really is and about a week in decided to get help. I'm feeling a lot better now, and most of it has cleared itself up, but I still feel like the fact that I questioned the reality of everything somehow took away from it all in a way. Like now I'm feeling more like myself but I feel dull and a tad like an alien from everything that I was once so comfortable with. Since the depersonalization went away, will these feelings soon go away as well as I start to settle in to my life again? Anything I can do to feel like I'm fully immersed into the world again? I feel like I took how comfortable I was with life for granted and now I'll never feel as comfortable again
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>>17403701
been living with it for 8+ years now. Never went away for me, when I dont focus on it, it's not as bad. I'm just learning to live with it, albeit, slowly.
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>>17403841
Theres definitely a light in the darkness anon. If you arent talking to anyone I recommend it. My qualms are with the "after" of the whole ordeal. How do I move on now and reclaim my life
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>>17403866
well man, I think a good way to think of it is, you came out of the fog. You're in the clear now, be thankful try to remember the fog and just be thankful you're out. Imagine being stuck in it forever
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hy adv, I'm 29 and I'm in the middle of an identity crisis. Will this ever be over? I have dreams but I don't feel in control, it feels like I can't do anything about them, they just don't seem to work out. Relationships are failure after failure, I work like crazy but I still don't have any money for things I would like, I just don't know anymore.
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life can change for the better at the flick of a switch. and usually when you least expect it.
just keep on keeping on. take pleasure in the small things and enjoy the world however you can. we're all dust someday anyway, so stick around and spectate all humanity has to offer.
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So i need to renew my British passport but since that's obviously gonna take a while can i use my expired one for proof of right to work in a job interview or no?
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>>17403666
Yes, you can.
Anonymous
girl trouble (as always) 2016-07-28 20:42:23 Post No.17403637
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girl trouble (as always) 2016-07-28 20:42:23 Post No.17403637
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>in a relationship for over a year an a half with this girl that I really like.
>the only thing is she totally flips out when I smoke weed. I don't smoke often, usually around friends, and I've been stoned inform of her without her noticing (and we have had a good times in all of those occasions), but everytime I say it out front she just filps out and puts our relationship at stake.
>I tried talking with her about that, trying to convince that I'm not a narco, that weed isn't that bad (I do think that constant use will leave to bad effects), that it's weird of her to not mind me being stoned, but minds me being stoned when I say I am and so on.
>She is 26 (i'm 23) and she has this really conservative attitude towards life, thinking in stereotypes and so on. She doesn't think you can teach an old dog new tricks.
>I really want to be with her and I try my best being a better person (in her eyes) for her, but weed is something I grew accustomed to and even if I try to smoke less (I often pass on even the few occasions I have nowadays to smoke), I still "fail" sometimes. And frankly, for me, it isn't that big of a deal. I like weed.
>Also I'm kind of sad that she's always ready to leave me for this and always stirs trouble for even the smallest of occasions. I feel stupid saying this, since it's not exactly right, but it feels for all the steps I took towards her, she didn't took even one.
i'm not sure I'm putting this in the right perspective, you know it's always more complicated for the people in the situation and I'm sure that I don't do justice to us with that description of the state of things.
any ideas?
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So you're saying you're addicted to weed?
Anyway, have you even asked her why it's so taboo? My cousin has very similar attitudes towards weed because her father wasted his life and money for 20 years because he couldn't handle reality without being high. Money for food and clothing always went to weed, and it all started as a "harmless hobby" for him. Maybe your girlfriend sees your dependency as a symptom for a problem that will happen down the road. Most people who smoke weed claim they can stop but they always hAve "accidents" as you put it, which shows they have no will power to avoid the drug.
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You probably must prove that you don't have to smoke. Maybe she knew someone who ended up badly because of weed.
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>>17403657
>>17403657
I don't think I'm addicted to weed. I can say "no", I don't smoke that much in the first place (I used to smoke a lot in high school, and against that a couple of times a month don't seem that much), but it's something I like doing, like making omelets.
I've asked her and what she told me is that all of the people she knows that smoke weed are grouse, and that in high school all of the people she knew that smoked weed were grouse.
I have my goals in life and I'm not willing to trade them for getting high. I've been around people that really sunk from smoking and I don't want to be one of them.