Hi guys,
I studied law and am generally applauded for being good at my job. Sadly, that's not enough. I just got laid off (contract expiry) because my senior colleagues couldn't relate to me. For some reason, work turns me into something I'm not. I can't seem to be one of the cool kids while outside of work there is no problem at all. Outside of work I'm outgoing and can relate to everyone. On the job, I slowly turn into a robot as I find noone laughs at my jokes or seems to care about me in any way. Noone seems to share my hobbies, so I shut up.
How do I stop getting laid off when I get a new job? Any thoughts?
>>17406347
>How do I stop getting laid off when I get a new job?
Work out EXACTLY what's going wrong, and work on that. Interpersonal skills are one of the top skills that employers look for nowadays, you're unlikely to land another job if you don't get this sorted out
>>17406382
What seems to go wrong is that I cannot relate to my colleagues at work. I'm not sure what to do about that except radically changing my hobbies and my lifestyle so that I match theirs.
>>17406391
You don't need to be able to relate to them, you just need to be able to get along with them. And how can you not relate? You work together, that's at least one thing you have in common
ARE HUMANS DESTINED TO LIVE IN CITIES?
If you believe hard enough, it'll come true. I believe we will always have cities.
Yes. But I don't think we're supposed to live in cities though.
Hey /adv/. I hope here are some doctors because i need some serious help.
I am a 22 years old german male, do no sports and have a fairly normal figure, i got diagnosted with ADHD when i was 6 years old and got perscripted some Ritalin which i dont take anymore for like 5 years.
Since almost 6 months i suffer from slight memory loss and 4 weeks ago it got really worse. I sometimes cant remember things i have been said 5 minutes ago, a enormous concentration problem, small twitches i can even see aswell as a shaking feeling inside of my body. I have been in 2 hospitals and 2 doctors where they took blood samples and liquor from my spine. They made two EEGs and one MRT and found several little spots in my brain. Now 1 week ago i got some red spots on my body (like on the pictures) and wake up in the middle of the night dripping of sweat. The doctors have no idea what it is and want to bring me to a mental hospital, where they could cure my memory loss. Does anyone of you have a idea what the hell is going on with me? Pic related. Its the spots on my body.
Other shoulder
Right lower chest
About same height on the right side of my back
Beginning of the year I got out of a 5 year long relationship due to him cheating on me.
I am in a new relationship atm and I catch myself thinking about "will this one do it too after years of 'only you, forever' talk").
I have known this person for a long time and he knows what I am like and I know what he is like. But I'm just full of doubt. I do not show it to him, I don't act crazy or sad or anything. But I am kinda scared it will affect my relationship later on. I wanna trust him and he does and say all the right things. Is there something I can do to make these thoughts go away? Should I talk to him and what should I say? I feel like if I say anything to him he will do the "I would never do that to you" speech, which is understandable, I would do it too since that is who I am.
What do, adv? Is there any training I have to go through to just relax and not be a paranoid female? :P
>>17406194
Adopt the aknowledge that whatever happens, happens. And you as a human are capable of moving on, not matter what. It's the same thing about death, going broke, etc.
Just move on, and stop trying to deal with problems you don't have.
>>17406194
You are not in control of your bf's actions.
That can be scary, but if you want that sort of control over everything in your life, you'll be better off going full hermit.
That also mean that, if he cheats on you, it's on him and not on you. So you'll leave and start again.
How do I quietly open the stuck lid/cap of a peanut butter jar?
>>17406174
With the mesmeric power of your personality
>>17406174
run it through hot water or just don't have the dog lick your dick tonight.
>>17406190
Thanks anon it worked :)
Pic unrelated.
What in your opinion is the best way to handle alcoholism in a character?
I'm writing a character that is an alcoholic due to using alcohol as a form of escapism after witnessing a lot of traumatic events during his service in the military. I don't really want it to come off as ham-fisted or silly, so how would I introduce the fact that he's a heavy drinker?
>>17406158
>so how would I introduce the fact that he's a heavy drinker
I don't write so I don't know how true this is, but 'show, don't tell' comes to mind.
>>17406162
Show, don't tell is alright but not gospel. There's nothing wrong with telling stuff in a story. The thing is that poor writers tend to try to jam stuff down their readers' throat without being able to make it come to life and make it believable. So you get the "they loved each other very much" for a wooden couple that never becomes believable, let alone endearing. Then you need to get readers on board by showing their relationship in a way that sells your message. If you're on top of your game telling things without showing everything is completely normal.
I don't think it matters that much whether you do it early or in a later stage, as long as you're a bit matter of fact about it. Addiction is extremely monotonous. You become used to living your life around your addiction relatively quickly, so understate it a bit. To your character, this isn't some worrying situation, it's life and trying to cope with life. It's also a huge part of his life, so don't fall into the trap of mentioning it a handful of times and then continuing the story as usual.
Although is also depends on what you're trying to write. If it's an action focused story with elaborate storyline, it doesn't matter nearly as much if the alcoholism isn't that psychologically convincing.
>>17406158
UniSA pleb reporting in.
I don't write much, but I do read and as the above have said, show it through actions rather than just narrating. When I'm deeply immersed in a story I visualise it, and so do many others. Actions are a lot more engaging in those cases.
Hi. I have depression and have been on medication for about 11 years. At first i was misdiagnosed by family doctor and he was giving me 3 different pills at the same time. Serious adhd, anti hallucinations,anxiety.
I saw a professional ~8 yrs ago and he put me on wellbutrin xl 150mg. I have some side effects but pretty desperate so have been taking it. I have sweating,dry mouth, headaches, fatique,stomach pains,etc. Main thing is that I'm in zombie mode 90% of the time. I have no feelings or desires. It keeps me in this zone where i dont feel anything. I talked to the doc and he wants to either up the dose or put me on more stuff. This will increase side effects and even give me more. I asked when i can get off it and he said pretty much never. I'm really worried as im only 28 and don't want to do this for rest of my life.
I have been looking at alternatives. There are certain Marijuana strands that help with depression and have no bad side effects like the pills but I live in USA where it's illegal and closest state is 9hr away. I can make the trip but need advice on if i should take it and if anyone rlse has any knowledge regarding this?
Sorry for the long wall of text
TLDR: how good is marijuana for depression and if it's effective?
>>17406137
You might want to try another doctor. If the med is working but its side effects are bothersome, the logical move would be to try (while being carefully monitored) LOWERING the dosage a bit, not raising it, or trying a different med.
There have been lots of advances in 8 years, and if your doctor is just doing the same old thing, he might not be up to date.
It would be better to get a second expert opinion before self-medicating.
>>17406201
>You might want to try another doctor.
He's the only expert in my city but I'll call the surrounding areas and check.
>If the med is working but its side effects are bothersome, the logical move would be to try (while being carefully monitored) LOWERING the dosage a bit, not raising it, or trying a different med.
They're not so bad but are not pleasant either. Seitching to another med will just give me another set of side effects.
>There have been lots of advances in 8 years, and if your doctor is just doing the same old thing, he might not be up to date.
This med has been around since 80s but he's pretty young (40s) and has credentials and all that.
>It would be better to get a second expert opinion before self-medicating.
I'll look into it just want to see what people think of the natural route as that gives higher life enjoyment/quality than being jacked on pills all day and not enjoying anything and stuck in limbo on autopilot.
>>17406137
I'm sorry of hear about your problems. First off, you need a positive attitude. I highly recommend the book 'The Ultimate Introduction to NLP'. You can find it on bookzz.org if you want to check it out.
Second, you have probably already tried other meds. The one that has done absolute wonders for me is Zoloft/Sertraline. Sertraline kicks in immediately, and if it doesn't you can up the dose (by yourself, don't consult with a doctor every time you do this) but its best to keep doses low and early in the day so you can sleep at night.
Numbness is not an issue with Sertraline!!
Third, know that depression will return unless you commit to a healthy lifestyle and structured life in the long run. Know that you might rebound if you do alcohol, sleep badly, have a chaotic life, or a combination of all three. Knowing is half the battle.
Fourth, I know from personal experience that marijuana only makes your depression worse. You will grow lazy and hate yourself for it when you're not stoned.
Your depression and personal circumstances might differ, but I'm pretty convinced this rough guide can help out all fellow depressed.
t. been suffering from depression since puberty but learnt to live with it through positive attitude and the right meds
>University Student
>3.9 GPA
>Scholarships pay for everything
>Have part-time job
I'm burnt out. I want the cash, but I'm not sure it is worth it. I want the recommendations/references, but I am not sure this is worth it.
I volunteer during summers to keep busy, but do you think I could let my job go and be okay?
Seriously, /adv/, I need solid input.
You could, but having a job always looks better than not having a job. Plus, it'll be a good example to draw on for those "tell me about a time when you had to manage your time effectively" interview questions.
>>17406130
If you have done well on your job, you can quit, legitimately citing the pressures of school as a reason, and still get a good reference when you need it. And then you can find a different job for the money.
GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.
Why is it that when I give a girl attention they dislike me but when I start ignoring that same girl they suddenly won't leave me alone and tell me they're into me?
Different sex drives is all. My gf likes it once-twice a day. I only do it 4-5 times a week. Don't think anything will make your bf want sex more at this point.
>>17406111
Women are inherent attention whores
Why is it that people claim to want those who speak their mind and tell it like it is? But when you do, those very same people take offence and give you shit over it? Are they requesting honesty? Or just expect to be told when they think is true, even though reality might feel differently?
Because no one wants to date an autist who doesn't know when to keep their mouth shut. This isn't rocket surgery
>>17406092
There is a difference between being honest and being offensive. If you want to be a truth-teller, you have to learn how to couch the truth in terms your listener will be willing to hear. That doesn't mean violating its honesty, just not being gratuitously and self-defeatingly nasty about it.
>tfw no gf
>tfw virgin at 18 years old
>tfw can't get jobs since im anxious all the fucking time
>tfw i might go elliot rodgers. i been thinking about it
>tfw have nothing to do but stay home.
>fuck my shit life.
>don't know what to do with my shit fucking life
>>17406080
The first step would probably be going to the doctor too see if you can get that anxiety sorted out.
I'm so sick of seeing retarded teenagers whining about being a virgin. Good god.
>>17406080
Don't pull that maybe. At best he's a joke
So i need to get furniture for my apartment and make it look cool.
Its a pretty shit place but it could look cool with some nice chairs, a coffee table, some art etc.
what should i get?
Post some inspiration or give me some advice.
>>17406062
I live in a 1br condo in Hawaii while doing the "college" shit, so ... maybe this will help.
I love music, so this ..
>>17406062
My desk area ...
I digress, nice condo, other shit to do.
Somebody used my toothbrush yesterday and I got so angry and shouted at everyone and smashed cupboards and stuff. Also I've been crying a lot over everything
Then today my period started. So was it PMS?
No. You got anger issues. Get help.
I say yes to both.
There really isn't an excuse for going full rage mode every month.
You lack self control.
>>17406071
How do you develop more self control?
>Be me (am female)
>Traveling in this summer study German abroad program with a group of people I didn't know beforehand
>"Host family" turns out to be b&b and owners are not even interested in small talk
>Roomate is a hardcore Donald Trump fan while I support the Democrats
>Roomate likes to talk about how awesome Donald Trump is
>When I didn't really agree with her viewpoint she looks disgusted
>There is another American roomate and he is also a Trump supporter
>Likes to talk about Trump during meals together
>We have housemates from other parts of the world and they think we all love Trump because of a lack of understanding of what is going on
>When I answer them explaining how people support different politicians, the other two American housemates will be upset
What do?
>>17406049
Explain that you don't want to see America be made Great again and that want the United States to fall into the same obscurity as EU states like Germany. I'm sure everyone will understand.
>>17406061
Are you a trump supporter?
>>17406049
It is not a big deal
Only time I don't feel the depression is when I'm stoned but I can't stay high for the rest of my life. What do?
Fix your problems and stop creating a temporary relief with weed
You should think better bro, Marijuana itself can make a person depressive.
It holds the person in a charm that makes him only want marijuana. People used to call me out to some place close to my house, i'd say no. Other people called me to smoke halfway across town, i'd go.
Marijuana relieves you by numbing your emotional sensations, relaxing the mind as they say, but if you can't feel what makes you sad, you'll never know what it is (hence it'll seem causeless, leading to depression), so you'll never face it, or at least understand your sadness. Those things are important for it go away.
My tip is, smoke less and less, untill you can actually stay a full month without weed, and then try to see this depression of yours, seek its roots and try to understand it.
Of course, a psychologist would also help. Best luck!