Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3314. page

Are the two adults in a relationship or just friends?

>>17780256
In a relationship.

We will be downgrading from a 750 sq ft apartment. At first I thought it's doable but now having second thoughts.

>>17780261
I've lived in a smaller apartment with my SO, there are some design choices you can do to make it feel more open, generally I've found it isn't a horrible thing to live in a smaller space to save money. You will notice that you may have to clean a little more, but In my experience it isn't that big of a deal.

Just beat the shit out of him when he cries again. And again this always works don't let your son be a pussy

Treat him like an adult and don't just give him attention because he cries for it. Give him solitude if he persists. You're training him to be a man, not just to be your son. Think of the kind of man you want him to be - one who is comfortable being alone with himself and doesn't need the attention of others to achieve things. Talk things through with him, help him understand his emotions. Be the guiding hand that leads the way for him and show him how to live like a man.

>>17780208
My kids did that too. Especially the oldest one. It's normal for the age, and they'll stop doing it (as much) when they've learned it's not working. If he's genuinely sad about it, explain the situation. If he's just whining to get his way, tell him to quit it then ignore it.

>>17780207
Why do it?

>>17780207
I'd say it's a permanent solution for a temporary problem. but hey, it's up to you. if you're in too much pain to go on I'd say try and get medicated. try some xanax. it will almost certainly take the pain away but you'll be on it maybe the rest of your life, or maybe just until you sort your shit out. some days I think about going down to the gun range and blowing my own brains out so. I dunno man. life is funny

you should try bungee chord instead.

p.s. I love you homie

>>17780124
I hear ya

>>17780134
Haha, I like to stay hopeful and reassure myself that things will work out, but I'm not sure how much I need to be actively doing to reach my goal. Life seems like completely uncharted territory right now.

Nobody knows exactly how to reach their goals because that's not a goal, that's a weekend project. Identify something, anything that will help you and reach out and take it. It's scary though, life really is uncharted territory, but you're the only one who can make the map.

Chocolate

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Coffee.

I don't smoke, drink alcohol, or drink coffee.
But I always make sure I have chocolate milk I'm my fridge or at least some powder to make it. Can't get enough of the stuff

It sounds like a good idea.
I talked to one for a couple of weeks when I was going through some stuff and he listened, helped me to understand why I was thinking certain ways, and come up with a plan for dealing with stress.

I'd like to see one now just to have someone to talk to about all these thoughts I have but I'm in a non-English speaking country which makes it super expensive.

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>>17780136

do you feel relieved of any of the issues you were having before you saw a therapist?

>>17780090
>a friend of mine has been pushing me to seek help from a therapist
People talk to their friends about this stuff?

Pretty sure there is something chemically attractive between us. Within the first few months, I knew she was the one. She had also been in an abusive relationship, and could relate in many ways to me. I also found out that she had bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, but I was cool with it because the pros definitely outweighed the cons (gamer chick, likes the same shows and comics and movies, etc)

I've been with her approx. A year and a half at this point, and somewhere along the way her sex drive hit rock bottom. It slowly declined, doom once a day to once a week to biweekly to monthly and now, rarely ever.

I would hate to think that I put such a high importance on sex, as I never have, and I've not entertained the idea of cheating on or leaving her as I feel I am in love with her. So basically, I'm left wondering what got fucked up along the way.

Our talks basically elude to her blaming meds or her disorders, but that hasn't been a problem in the past so I feel like it's funny that it should suddenly be one now.

I am actually getting blue balls and popping boners in odd situations, but the main issue is the extremely deep connection of felt to her, and her alone? Through sex is suddenly not there. Sex with her connected me to her on a level that I've never had a connection with anybody.

Our living situation may have had something to do with it, as we are living with her parents to help them out, and they are extreme assholes that treat us like slaves while dangling the fact that they can kick us out over our heads (even though we are genuinely there to help them.) She doesn't work, and that's fine now because I have a job that can easily support us both.

I just don't know how to rekindle our passion in bed, and it's affecting me way more than it ever has. It's hard not to feel rejected, even though she insists it's not me, it's her.

At this point, I guess I'll just wait. I'm happy to provide any further info needed but would definitely love advice. Maybe there's something I haven't tried yet.

As an addition, I just feel extreme fear that I will waste my one shot at life not taking a chance to be something I want to be. I don't care about money or even really fame, I just have this intense desire to give something meaningful to the world.

Well I guess this won't be getting much replies but I can't blame you guys, it's definitely not an interesting dilemma to talk about.

Just become a music teacher.

>madly in love
Ok sure... wait a minute
>new gf
How new are we talking?
I'd say you're in the infatuation stage (opinion only)
But if you feel you mean it when you say it, that's fine.
>telling her on the phone
Please no. Why are you in such a rush? Worried she'll break up with you because you didn't say the magic words in time?
Next time you're alone together, in the right environment, and say it because you want to, not because she asked you to.

>>17780200
>How new are we talking?
half a year. so not THAT new..

>telling her on the phone
>Please no
gotcha. what's a good way to tell her then?

>Why are you in such a rush? Worried she'll break up with you because you didn't say the magic words in time?
not at all. I do want to tell her, but like I said in the OP, I didn't find the right moment until now

>>17780391

Listen what previous guy said. And when to tell her? The next time you're doing something together and you feel it. That moment when she did something cute or funny and you look at her and just think holy shit I love the shit out of this girl. Don't overthink it.

>>17780042
Realize that its not black and white. No one is right or wrong

In my experience, even intelligent people need to believe that there's something bigger than them after this life. For some reason, tons of people can't handle the idea of permanent death, so much so that they actually will believe certain things without question to ease their mind so they don't go through life having to deal with the burden of thinking it is all meaningless.

Just my opinion. Nobody can know for sure what happens after we die, it's always fascinated me how religion plays such a huge part in that

>>17780044
How is it not black and white?

There is no 'god' in the sense that they think there is.

I'm always open to the possibility that there is something far greater than us that we are unable to know, but to believe there is a god, and that this god is their "God" is outright crazy.

(When I say I'm open to the possibility, that's just me saying, "I'm aware there many many many things that we do not know of")

You seem normal to me

>>17780018
I'm the same exact fucking way. 22yr female here. You aren't alone.
I'm trying to figure out the answer to this as well

stop overthinking things, find comfort knowing that you're not meant to feel any particular way. The evolutionary chemical genetics within your brain have always been there and are the same of those of your ancestors, there's nothing you can do about it and the decisions you make hereafter, you were ALWAYS going to make. You aren't in control of your life because nobody is in control of their feelings or thoughts and as long as people keep acting upon their feelings, this will always be the case.

have a nice day :)

>>17779938
Are you a grill? if so I claim you

>>17779942
Thanks, but no thanks..
And i'm a dude.

You're never too old to go back to school. People change careers in their 50s ffs.

You only get one life, don't let anyone else live it for you. Do you really want to spend it in a factory doing a job you hate just because your dad said to?

>>17779919
Saying peace over txt is chill man. If you dont mind me asking what is your age difference?

You mean chill like it's cool/OK? Or like 'that's cold man'?

5year spread

>>17779919
Hint your intentions via text and do it in person.

>>17779898
I sleep with the computer fan on at night

Its not helping

I thought they had medications for tinnitus.

>>17779886
Welcome to your mid twenties bro, sorry about yhe lack of girlfriend, you will get used to it eventually

>>17779891
>>17779891
I can't imagine that it will last forever, and there are girls that I could date available to me, I just feel like it would take more energy and money than I'm willing to give.

I guess that's part of why I feel like I'm being immature. I also feel like I'm in a place in my life that no matter what, I would fail to deliver.

Have you EVER had a girlfriend? What's stopping you from getting one anyway?