Help desperately needed

Pretty sure there is something chemically attractive between us. Within the first few months, I knew she was the one. She had also been in an abusive relationship, and could relate in many ways to me. I also found out that she had bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, but I was cool with it because the pros definitely outweighed the cons (gamer chick, likes the same shows and comics and movies, etc)

I've been with her approx. A year and a half at this point, and somewhere along the way her sex drive hit rock bottom. It slowly declined, doom once a day to once a week to biweekly to monthly and now, rarely ever.

I would hate to think that I put such a high importance on sex, as I never have, and I've not entertained the idea of cheating on or leaving her as I feel I am in love with her. So basically, I'm left wondering what got fucked up along the way.

Our talks basically elude to her blaming meds or her disorders, but that hasn't been a problem in the past so I feel like it's funny that it should suddenly be one now.

I am actually getting blue balls and popping boners in odd situations, but the main issue is the extremely deep connection of felt to her, and her alone? Through sex is suddenly not there. Sex with her connected me to her on a level that I've never had a connection with anybody.

Our living situation may have had something to do with it, as we are living with her parents to help them out, and they are extreme assholes that treat us like slaves while dangling the fact that they can kick us out over our heads (even though we are genuinely there to help them.) She doesn't work, and that's fine now because I have a job that can easily support us both.

I just don't know how to rekindle our passion in bed, and it's affecting me way more than it ever has. It's hard not to feel rejected, even though she insists it's not me, it's her.

At this point, I guess I'll just wait. I'm happy to provide any further info needed but would definitely love advice. Maybe there's something I haven't tried yet.

File: 91847859199231038474.jpg (54KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 540x960px

Picture related: it's us. Added for context I guess

Man i relate alot to this. I ran through two long term, good relationships because of sexual frustration/miscommunication. In my experience i was a victim of boredom. Where i went wrong was being selfish and not realizing she was also bored. Women want to be excited and feel like they are the most importaint thing in the world. I would suggest talking about it as open and honestly as possible. When she answers, listen very carefully. Read between the lines and see what she feels is lacking.

>>17780082
lol nightsharts

>>17780154
Thanks foe the advice m8

>>17780133
You really shouldn't post your gf's pic on 4chan, especially if you don't have her permission. There are some, let's say, less than completely respectable people lurking around here.

>>17780152
I would like to think I've already tried it. We can't exactly pinpoint what caused the decline, and she is actually pretty vanilla in sex (which is fine with me, got all the experimental shit out of the way in my younger days.) She generally said she doesn't know why she doesn't want it any more, but says stress may have something to do with it. She says she still finds me sexually attractive, but actually doing the sex isn't something that's ever on her mind.

I've tried things to turn her on and I've flirted with her, but it always feels awkward or unwanted (could just be me.)

We've talked about it so much that she actually gets upset when the subject is brought up, and all of the times I've talked I've managed to fail to understand what's wrong.

>>17780177
I'm aware. It's just a Facebook pic anyone can find, and she knows I lurk on here as she also does as well. She is fine with me posting it as far as I know

By the way, using a mobile app so even though I'm OP, some of my posts flag me as anon for some reason

>>17780177
She actually encouraged me to seek advice, I think she wants to fix this as much as I do.

Your girlfriend's sex may have been in part powered by the juices naturally produced by the brain when a person enters a fresh new exciting relationship. I think it's called the "honeymoon stage" or "infatuation stage" in some cases. As time wears on and the relationship gradually grows more steady and comfortable, these secretions slowly begin to subside, partly because the brain can't afford to be constantly pumping them and partly because they're less needed. Being on medications, having disorders, and just plain getting older certainly don't help with this issue. It's not that you or she did anything wrong or that anything happened, it may be that she's just transitioning from one stage of loving you to the next.

Looking at it from a purely cold biological standpoint, we have sex because our bodies are trying to make babies. Her body knew she'd found a suitable partner and tried to encourage her to fuck. Now, she didn't actually have a kid, but the body doesn't always need that to happen to go on ahead and move to another relationship stage, which may be more focused on nurturing and cooperation and less on sex.

You gotta talk to her though because this is all speculation.

>>17780210
I've actually considered this, mainly because all the other aspects of our relationship are just great, I honestly couldn't be happier, and if this is the case I have to focus on myself.

Should I be worried about decreasing my libido somehow? Is it normal to want sex so often or so badly or is it a sex addict thing? I've looked into mess to lower sex drive but I haven't really found anything outside of the stuff they give pedophiles, and I don't think that's OTC.

>>17780221
>Is it normal to want sex so often or so badly

Well, yeah, for some people. Just browsing around /adv/ I see lots of guys posting about how they very often want or feel they need to have sex, some to the point of making regular sex a relationship requirement and turning down relationships for not being sufficiently sexually compatible. I've actually seen some people say that they cannot comprehend sex not being an important part of somebody's life. It's a disturbingly common sentiment, actually.

Going back to the biological reasoning, it makes sense for guys to continue to want sex longer and harder (kek) because if monogamy didn't exist they could be going around fucking lots of women, which would be great for spreading one's lineage.

I recommend masturbating.

>>17780246
I masturbate, sometimes up to 3 tines a day. If I had to guess, I'm not exactly craving the act of sex, I'm more into the emotional connection we share during sex. It feels like a part of our relationship that supported me emotionally isn't there any more. That isn't to say I think my relationship is particularly bad, sex or no sex I want to be with her as long as I can, but I seem to be taking it harder (lol) than I ever have in the past, it really haunts me for some reason.

>>17780082
Your overlong and boring back story is irrelevant except to the extent that past failures make you wary of rocking the boat. But the boat is sinking and you have to do something.

Strip away the filigree and your problem is her loss of sex drive. Focus on that. It's not a rare problem, and there are known ways of addressing it.

First she needs a full physical to see if it's something as simple as a vitamin or hormone imbalance. Second, let her ask her shrink if it's a byproduct of her meds, and if so, if there is an alternate med she can try.

If it's not physical, it's psychological/emotional. Couples counseling deals with this all the time. It could be something as simple as the romance and intensity of the first flush of love and desire naturally fading with time and needing some rekindling.

In any case, put 90% of what you wrote about out of your mind and focus on the specific and curable issue of her loss of sex drive.

>>17780337
She does have a shrink, I may suggest to her that she asks about her medicine.

She is already on a pretty hefty regiment of vitamins. I guess I wanted to write that stuff because I feel like maybe I could be the problem and not know it?

I do hope it's curable.

First, I'd say move out asap.

My wife and I were in a similar situation - we talked about it for months and the root cause was that she didn't feel deserving of having sexual feelings. In order to help her feel more attractive, I suggested that we both change our diet and exercise habits. In addition to a new thing to do as a couple, we both lost a good deal of weight and she seemed to gain much more confidence.
I love her to death and want her to see how beautiful she is, so I remind her frequently, even if she doesn't feel it.
I don't really remember where I was going with this, but I wanted to throw a bit in here.