Is it normal to masturbate twice a day?
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No, zoo monkeys go at least that often.
If you're using it to cure boredom, you should find something better to do, since it's only going to make you tired and more bored after it.
If you're doing it to beat your wang into submission so you stop going full mast every other hour for 10 minutes without it, by all means spank that monkey.
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>>17904226
>Twice
I do like 7 to 9 if I'm home and have a day off.
Otherwise just 4.
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>>17904226
only if you plan to phish emails while doing it
Anonymous
This just Happened... 2016-12-30 01:15:07 Post No.17904221
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This just Happened... 2016-12-30 01:15:07 Post No.17904221
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Hey guys, first post on dating advice here.
Today I was at the beach with a few friends, one who is a long time female friend (known each other for 4 years, been somewhat friends for 2). We were all drinking and I was pretty drunk. She had been just above tipsy (but not entirely drunk) and we both went to the bathroom together.
The moment felt right and we both relieved ourselves in the bushes since the bathroom was locked. I legit saw this girl pull her panties down and pee in front of me. She was wearing a cover but I didn't really see her naked.
We journeyed so far that we were in a tight spot amongst some shrubs. I finished peeing and decided to lean in for it. She giggled and said "woah" before walking by me saying we should go. Only kissed her nose.
I kept my cool and acted like nothing happened, however she was more determined to go home (the plan was to eat before) and so we just dropped her off.
Me and her have been hanging more lately and getting touchy. We've held hands, talked deeply and have had that sexual tension in the air between us. I don't know her extremely well and am not very close to her at all.
Although lately I've felt more frequent sexual tension between us, it had been lightly happening over the past 2 years.
Where do I go from here? She seemed like she wanted to get home and think. I don't think she turned it down as much as she just wasn't expecting it and wasn't ready.
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You're hopeless, give up
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>>17904221
delet this.
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>>17904229
I mean, I'm not in love with her or anything, but it was kind of a bummer not going further. I find her sexy and our connection is genuine.
Do you think that maybe she's considering it for the next time?
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What's a good amount of money to keep in savings at all times as a "safety net?"
I'm 26 and insured. Rent is $900/mo, car payment $300/mo, and I net $2500/mo.
I try to keep around $5000 in savings at all times but none of my friends on peers do that. All of them keep like $1000 in savings and call it good. Am I hoarding too much?
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>>17904157
Saving money is always good, you are fine.
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>>17904157
No such thing as too much money. I'm hoarding $40000 right now for no real reason. You never know when you'll need that money and $1000 doesn't go far.
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$10k is the minimum where I'm comfortable about my savings.
If you think you have too much just sitting there, try to invest it. Going around blowing it like everyone else does is a mistake. Keep in mind what percentage of the population winds up in debt.
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I'm virgin and i have access to a 40 years old trap. Should I go fuck him ? I said probably next month,he invite me himself. He truly looks like a sexy 40 years old mature woman. If i go fuck him,how do I do ?
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You're gonna get AIDS bruh
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>>17904123
delet this
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Do you plan on sucking or putting her dick inside you in any way?
Anonymous
Maybe its a millennial thing. . 2016-12-30 12:42:51 Post No.17904121
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Maybe its a millennial thing. . 2016-12-30 12:42:51 Post No.17904121
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Maybe its a millennial thing. .
Anonymous
2016-12-30 12:42:51
Post No. 17904121
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Ok I'll get straight to it.
>My gf is in her early 20s and I'm 10 years older then her.
>Says she loves me and really really shows it. She goes above and beyond for me since we been together.
>One night on a romantic date she hands me her phone to fix something on it.
>A message pops up from some random Joe Nobody from a dating App.
>Ask what the hell is this.
>Says the reason she has it is just for attention and the confidence boost it gives her from all the complements on the days she feels down. And that she loves me.
>she deletes the app. Her profile has had no log in since.
>Since that I noticed and continue to notice guys adding her on Facebook though.
>she gets anywhere from 10 to 20 new 'guy' friends on Facebook a day.
>I would say I notice 9-10 new guys added are single and at random though out the region we live.
>They add her and she accepts them all.
>She's a good looking girl but no supermodel and and gets 150+ likes from these random dudes.
>She only likes and thanks the comments on her pics that say that shes pretty/beautiful. And ignores the sexy/hot comments.
> (Red flag) Her Facebook is listed as single and has been since we been together, for a number of months.
>(Red Flag) She recently got worried I might of been cheating on her and to clear it all up I put myself as in a relationship with her and she didn't accept it.
>When I questioned this she said she doesn't want anyone knowing her business even though they're pics and events of us on her FB and we are clearly together.
So what am I dealing with here /adv/??
Is it normal for a above average girl to get so many random single male friend invites on fb?
Is it normal for guys to friend request random girls without having the proper connections? Or are they being giving permission to do so though a link she has somewhere online?
Should I worry?
I cant imagine she would cheat on me considering how much energy and time she has spends on me and our relationship though.
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>>17904121
M8 my girlfriend doesn't even have social media. I don't know why you have to ask if that's okay or not.
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>>My gf is in her early 20s and I'm 10 years older then her.
What the fuck man? You're a pedo
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I'm gonna try really hard to not give you:
>She wants a stable, older guy for a long term relationship, but still wants to sow her wild oats while she's young
But that's all I can come up with.
How do I kill my depression? There seems to be no way. I've been taking meds for bipolar disorder for 2 months already and I feel better in pretty much every single way, but I just can't stop having this shitty feeling inside of me. Please help me anons, you guys are my last hope, nobody else believes me, even my doctor.
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Physical exercise can help.
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You're just attention seeking
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Also, there are people who have it sorse you ingrateful fuck. If it was for me I would send you in the third world just to make you feel what's real pain
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This guy sexually assaulted my girlfriend a couple months ago, before we were together. My girlfriend won't testify against him because she of course blames herself even though she said no and he coerced her. I want to know how I can ruin his life without going to prison. I know his full name, what he looks like, the specifics of the incident, what he studies, and where. I don't want to break him, but I don't want to go to prison for assault or possibly murder. I also don't want to have to go through the legal process as it would be extremely stressful for my girlfriend and it is not guaranteed to work. Please help. He cannot get away with this.
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>>17904102
Unfortunately, you'll have to let him get away with it if you're not willing to go to legal grounds.
There's not much point going after him. (And you shouldn't, by the way.)
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>>17904107
I have had 4 friends who in the past were sexually assaulted or raped, and two of them didn't report it. Both of those two did it again. It is a matter of honor and preventing it from happening again or to someone else. Somebody must have some ideas...
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>>17904102
Let it go. Are you seriously wanting to kill this guy? All for some pussy that wasn't even yours at the time? Get your head straight.
If she doesn't want to go the legal route then drop it. No sense ruining your entire life over this
I met a woman who I developed a huge crush on, but she's 46 and I'm 19.
I told her I liked her, and much to my surprise, she told me she likes me back. I promptly asked her out but she was like, "I just don't know if it would work"
how do I convince her it'll be alright?
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>>17904092
show her this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
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>>17904096
kek
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You really want to go out with someone who's going to be grey and wrinkly in 4 years?
Alright /adv/, help me figure this out:
Me and my best friend started working for her (single) mother's company almost a year ago. She's the executive of this company, and while she's a ruthless boss she can be pretty nice and I have no complaints about her, even though she and my best friend have a really complicated relationship.
There's this guy, he's basically her assistant, and we are constantly playing/going at each other and it usually ends up in friendly flirting. My boss noticed this and she playfully asks about him and if we're dating already, stuff like that. During the Company's Christmas dinner we went to this balcony-like room for a smoke and we were having a good time until our boss walked in on us. That's when it got really weird:
>Well(dramatic pause), I can see you two are having fun (imagine this in the most conceited tone possible)
>Yea. We are.
They both stared at each other for too long and that's when I realized something was off. She asked him to come help her with something and he apologized and left.
Today I had to back to work and I avoided him like the plague. My best friend noticed this and I told her I didn't want to talk about it (mainly because I'd have to imply I suspect her mom's fucking him) but she vented to me instead about how her mom had done nothing but complain about him after the Christmas dinner and how she should get a new assistant all of a sudden.
He texted me twice today, one asking if I was ok and the second asking if I was mad at him.
Should I even bother replying? I really fucking like him but this is such an awkward situation
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>>17904062
You absolutely should reply. You have no reason to believe he did anything wrong, at most you can reasonably believe your boss is a jealous bitch.
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>>17904072
But what if he did? Looking back there were so many flags anyone could have easily ignored. I just have that gut feeling telling me they have a thing going on.
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>>17904081
I don't know what these flags really are, though. Could you give examples?
If he didn't, you're just punishing him for nothing.
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Is it reasonable to stop dating a girl because the distance between you is too far, and only one of you drives?
Like for me its an 80 mile round trip to see her and then go home, which is basically an all day affair.
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>>17904051
yes.
distant relationships are difficult. specially if both do not possess enough willpower to overcome its adversities.
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>>17904051
Is it 80 miles adjoined by highway? Or is it 80 miles of city driving? That's a very different amount of time. That's only 40 minutes one way?
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>>17904058
on the quickest route it takes a little over an hour to get there and back, so its two hours total of driving, more depending on traffic.
>>17904057
Yeah, she doesn't drive at all, so we can never meet half way, or take turns driving to each other's place.
If I continue to see her, I'm just going to be fucking driving all the time.
NotQuitePoly
I'm in love with a married woman 2016-12-30 12:11:45 Post No.17904041
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I'm in love with a married woman 2016-12-30 12:11:45 Post No.17904041
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I'm in love with a married woman
NotQuitePoly
2016-12-30 12:11:45
Post No. 17904041
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I'm in love with a married woman and believe it or not, that's not my problem. Her husband is ok with our relationship, I get to have sex with her and he pays the bills (he's not a cuck though. Surprisingly alpha). She's head over heels in love with me (a bit obsessed & possessive but not too much) and would easily jump in front of a car to save my life.
So my problem: After two years of being with her, I get to see her generally just once a month for a few hours. Naturally, we use the majority of that time to fuck. We're at a point where I'm falling too much in love with her. Once a month isn't enough and I'm tired of simply chatting online while people around me get to go on dates and do things with their SOs. The husband isn't willing to share her more and they have kids so they aren't going to divorce. I'm not going to cheat on her (yeah yeah, I know). If I say in this relationship, nothing will change for at least 5 years. Side notes: I don't want to get married, I don't want kids.
What should I do, anon? I'm getting tired of physically being alone despite being in this "ideal" relationship.
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>>17904041
>(he's not a cuck though.
He's the very definition of a cuck.
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>>17904044
Fine, Fine. He doesn't act like a cuck. He's slightly more alpha than I am. Becomes a major ass when he drinks.
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>>17904041
i actually spilled some of my coffee back to the cup when i read this.
then i laughed, of course.
to be fair, you wanna get out of the trio as fast as you can. that's how i would do it anyways.
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>Be me
>Majored in Linguistics
>hoped to work for a little bit before going to Grad School for Applied Linguistics or Forensic Linguistics
>Worked for 2 and a half years and have some promotions on my resume
>BA in Linguistics is worthless and I've been temping for the past year
Is it wise to just go for broke and go into more debt for grad school? Should I just do something "safe" and major in some shit like HR Management or IT systems or teaching?
Thinking about going abroad for grad school. It would take me 12 months to complete a masters in, say, the UK full time vs the 18 - 24 months in the US. Of course I don't know a lot about the workload of UK Grad students and it'd probably be even harder for me to find income to supplement whatever I'm taking out in loans.
Am I an idiot for even considering these things? Is this just me being nonsensical in my quarterlife crisis?
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>>17903992
pls respond
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I made a similar mistake
You got three choices
Go to Grad School. It's pretty much the only job you can get that uses your degree
Go back to school in computer science or something. That's pretty similar to linguistics on a basic level
Join the military as an officer. They have direct entry for people with uni degrees
Also, any specialization? Linguistics have always interested me
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>>17904463
>specialization
forensic linguistics
It's an emerging field but it's probably the one most interesting to me
also what do you mean by grad school is the only job I can get for my degree?
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How much food should a dude be eating a day, and are healthy eating habits?
I'm wanting to have a healthy lifestyle while getting over eating disorder. I don't currently trust my judgments over what are appropriate sized meals.
I'm 5'2"/130 lbs if that means anything to the portion sizes.
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Giving you an answer that actually works would require asking you dozens of questions and verifying the accuracy of the answers. In other words, fuck off to the doctor's office if you want a real answer.
Ballpark estimate is 2000kcal if you exercise or do real work, 1800 if you don't, 2400+ if you lift.
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>>17903988
130 is a lot for your height
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>>17904006
You think so?
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Good evening y'alls.
I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend, however I always feel let down. She says she enjoys our time together, regardless of how it progresses. I always feel this sensation of wishing I could have made it better for her. She makes all the noises and shit, but I can feel her heartbeat and it seems apparent she doesn't cum every time.
It seems like the way to make it better for myself is "practice makes perfect", but I'm always nervous going into it. I've always felt having a larger-you-know-would make the job "easier" for me. Idk. Feeling super down about it these last few weeks, I tend to go through swings of being okay with it and feeling bad. What do /adv/? What do I say to her, besides generally what I've said here (we've had a conversation about it before)? What do I say to myself? Pic unrelated.
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>>17903977
FWIW I'm 25, she's 34. The gap makes it that much more intimidating for me.
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>>17903977
shameless self bamp.
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>>17903977
Dick size ?
You lick the pussy ?
Dick in ass and then rub that clit ?
>Talking to friends a while back and they said that I was weird
>"what, I'm not weird, I'm just a normal guy"
>They say that the reason they hang out with me is because I'm weird
It's been a few months and I still feel off about this conversation. I thought because everyone laughs at the dumb jokes that I make, that people liked me because I was funny but now I know different.
Whether or not they're laughing at me or with me is kind of eating me up at this point and I don't know if I'm just being autistic by making this big a deal about it or not.
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One thing I have learned as a wallflower is whatever you are, whether it feels good or bad at first, you own it. They didn't say you're bad, they didn't say they DON'T like you, they said you're weird.
You know what else? Everyfuckingone is weird. Not one person on this planet is excempt frlm the rule. We all possess some form of mannerisms or peculiarities that cause us to stand out. That's what weird means. Different from normal. Abnormal. Thought-provoking. Weird.
Don't let it hurt your friendship, just ask your friends what's so weird about you. You might get a redaction.
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>>17904484
>friendship
>>17903971
say "you like freak show? heres freak show!" and cut your dick in front of em
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>>17903971
ive been told im weird before. and there are people who enjoy that weirdness cuz its a good kind of weird. i wish there was a better word to describe it cuz weird sounds so 'IM SO WEIRD LUL LOOKAT ME'. but some people are just weird.
they may like you as a weird person. they might like you as something to laugh at. its hard to say.
the real question is, can you ask them?
if you can't, that says more about your friendship than what their answer would.
and if you can? well, you'll get your answer then.