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Sexual Inadequacy

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Good evening y'alls.

I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend, however I always feel let down. She says she enjoys our time together, regardless of how it progresses. I always feel this sensation of wishing I could have made it better for her. She makes all the noises and shit, but I can feel her heartbeat and it seems apparent she doesn't cum every time.

It seems like the way to make it better for myself is "practice makes perfect", but I'm always nervous going into it. I've always felt having a larger-you-know-would make the job "easier" for me. Idk. Feeling super down about it these last few weeks, I tend to go through swings of being okay with it and feeling bad. What do /adv/? What do I say to her, besides generally what I've said here (we've had a conversation about it before)? What do I say to myself? Pic unrelated.
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>>17903977
FWIW I'm 25, she's 34. The gap makes it that much more intimidating for me.
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>>17903977
shameless self bamp.
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>>17903977
Dick size ?
You lick the pussy ?
Dick in ass and then rub that clit ?
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>>17904348
6.5-ish
nah
no ass - yes.
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>>17904355
Need to mix it up man! lick that pussy after she's came...older chicks really dig that shit
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>>17904367
Only done that once, not really sure how I feel about it. Not ultra comfortable with bodies.
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>>17904373
Just take it slow and work yourself around then see what she enjoys. Good luck man
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>>17903977

>I always feel let down

>She says she enjoys our time together

I want you to listen very closely OP, because I'm going to save your sex life. The words I'm about to say to you are going to echo in that shallow skull of yours for eternity.

Listening? Ok.

Nothing dries up a woman faster than insecurity. NOTHING. You could be a 500 pound albino with a skunk for a dick and that would still be more attractive than a guy who hems and haws and needs validation and reassurance like a little child every time she fucks you.

Most women don't have sex to cum, okay? They get off on connection. They get off on making you get off. They get off on the little things like kisses and strokes and foreplay and light touches. Women get off on the experience of sex more than the actual orgasm, especially if they're strongly emotionally attached.

Here's the part that is going to save you; if your girl says she's having a good time, fucking listen to her. BELIEVE HER. If she's telling you the truth then you're doing great in bed and you have no issues. If she's lying to you then she isn't mature enough to have a serious sexual relationship with anyone and you need to ditch her. Its a win win.

Forget about the cumming. Forget about it. The next time you have sex, don't think about it. Make. Her. Feel. Good. That is the god's honest secret that will save your autistic ass from years of "Hey, we need to talk..." texts. Make her feel good. Don't pound away at her like you're trying to make her bell ring like a carnival game. Her sexuality is a journey, not a destination.

Don't lay this insecurity on her because it will tire her quickly. Your inability to feel good about sex has nothing to do with how much she enjoys it and everything to do with your own personal feelings of inadequacy. Keep that shit in check, dude, because women absolutely hate it.

If she didn't enjoy having sex with you she wouldn't keep doing it, numbnuts.
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>>17904380
Seems legit. I know it's all in my head. These are all things I've thought before, it's nice to have it out in the open and hear others say it. Much appreciated anon.
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>>17903977
You've got one thing a lot of guys don't have: sexual apathy

a lot of dudes don't get to the point of caring enough to imporove themselves for their partner during sex, so you're ahead of the game here.
Another thing is that size doesn't matter so much, because women don't actually have a lot of nerve endings in their vaginal canals, so get that idea outta your head unless you're like 3 inches long.
Look at some "how to eat pussy" videos on the internet. Also learn pussy rubbing techniques. Compliment her body during sex, and caress it during sex too.

A lot of men these days suck at sex because they are poisoned by watching too much porn that doesnt have an inch of real forplay, don't be like this. Learn from videos that are made for women, not men. Read articles on how to pleasure women too.
good sex is not all about the penis, it's about arousing the whole female body. Do not ever go into a woman without having her cum first or at least without having her pussy soaking wet.
It sounds like you're on your way to be a very good lover, good luck anon!
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>>17904519
Thanks anon. Been trying to find out ways to make her feel good besides the actual sexing part of it. I have some ideas, but I'm still not ultra comfortable with the whole experience of sex, you know?
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>>17904380
>Most women don't have sex to cum, okay? They get off on connection. They get off on making you get off.

im sorry but this is such BS. connection is a big part of sex for me as a woman but I want to cum too. It feels like shit when I do everything to please my man but I don't get an orgasm the majority of the time

>Here's the part that is going to save you; if your girl says she's having a good time, fucking listen to her. BELIEVE HER

this isn't true either. There have been so many times where I have said that I had a good time just to get sex over with because the man put no effort into giving me good sex dispite my efforts to show him how. Don't go by words go by how her body is responding and how content she seems after sex. Too many women say "that was good" just to save the male ego

>If she didn't enjoy having sex with you she wouldn't keep doing it, numbnuts.

wrong. women commonly have sex with men to placate them especially when the sex sucks. This is mostly because men don't listen when we tell them what we need to enjoy sex which is way too common.

>Forget about the cumming. Forget about it.

Women want to cum. Why do you think we have the ability to have multiple orgasms? Why do we have 1000s of toys available to us that excercise this built in ability in our bodies.
Women. Want. To. Cum.

Please don't listen to this guy. He's right about women wanting a connection but we want to cum as much as much as men do if not more.
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>>17904537
>Too many women say "that was good" just to save the male ego
Yeah, that's what I imagine.
>>17904537
>Women want to cum.
I'm still not super comfortable with bodies so its hard for me to know what's good/bad. I feel like I'm overthinking it, but I don't know what to look for exactly.

Perhaps I'm trying to be too specific about it?
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>>17904547
>I'm still not super comfortable with bodies so its hard for me to know what's good/bad

every woman has uniques likes/dislikes. this is why you have to get skilled in observing her body language. there are many ways too kiss, many ways to eat a woman out, many ways to rub a pussy. figure out which way she prefers for each act by observing the way she moans and moves when you're in the act. Every guy rubs their dick a different way even if its subtle, right? It's just like that.
It's going to take time to get to know her body and really understand what she likes and how she likes it, just like its going to take her awhile to learn how to pleasure you the best she can.

The worst thing you could do is stop trying to figure out what she likes, this kills a sex life between two people. You're already on a great path by wanting to pleasure her the best you can.
Just keep reading articles about sex techniques for women. Maybe even watch some videos of ameture women masturbating to see what parts of the female genitalia produces pleasure.
Or watch (real) lesbian videos. There is a good video called "How to eat pussy" that has an older blonde woman with a younger woman that is actually really informative. Go check it out it usually helps my partners with the basics.
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>>17904574
That all makes sense. It's hard for me to initiate things I've not really done before. I've been trying to work up to it.
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>>17904537

>im sorry but this is such BS. connection is a big part of sex for me as a woman but I want to cum too.

I never claimed that women don't want to cum. The unifying theme was that men view a successful sexual encounter as being able to cum. A majority of women don't view it the same way. I wasn't speaking in absolutes so stop framing my arguments that way. Its a misrepresentation of everything I said.

>this isn't true either. There have been so many times where I have said that I had a good time just to get sex over with because the man put no effort into giving me good sex dispite my efforts to show him how

So you don't have the maturity to speak up and be honest with your sexual partners. Encouraging people to not take your word for things and go out of their way to interpret your lies is very very juvenile. This problem you're having is with your own immaturity, not men's inability to somehow divine the true meaning of your thoughts through your dishonesty.

>wrong. women commonly have sex with men to placate them especially when the sex sucks.

You're doing a lot of projection here. I'm sorry that your sex life sucks but not all women are as dishonest and apathetic about having a healthy sex life as you are.

>Women want to cum.

OP's problem wasn't making his girlriend cum, it was connecting with his partner and not feeling like garbage every time he was done having sex. Connecting with her and being comfortable with each other during sex comes first, cumming comes after. Your inability to understand this simple concept, along with your inability to be honest with your partners, thoroughly explains your shitty experiences with men.

>Please don't listen to this guy

Please don't listen to this girl. She is a girl but she's very immature.
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>>17903977
Lol you have 6.5 " dude you're fine. Just pay more attention to her body. Like oral and maybe some clit rubbing. Or if you haven't found the right spot/amount of pressure let her rub her clit and help her out. Like do whatever drives her crazy. Neck kisses/bites, dirty talk, nipple play. Maybe fuck her while she's doing that? Take time to learn how your girlfriend's body works bro.
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>The unifying theme was that men view a successful sexual encounter as being able to cum.

women feel this way too. so many of my female friends have come to me and said how much a sexual encounter sucked because of the man putting 0 effort in making them cum

>So you don't have the maturity to speak up and be honest with your sexual partners

its not about maturity, its about men not listening to sexual advice or either getting their egos hurt to the point of getting angry with bringing this up. I have told different men about my own sexual dissatisfaction and I have been met with hostility, apathy, and a reluctance to initiate further sex out of preformance anxiety. A lot of men don't take sexual suggestion or criticism well. This is why a lot of women lie about being satisfied, not because of immaturity on our part. We want to be satisfied and try but it's an uphill battle.

Also a LOT of women lie about their satisfaction. Where do you think "faking it" came from?

>OP's problem wasn't making his girlriend cum, it was connecting with his partner and not feeling like garbage every time he was done having sex.
OP: >I always feel this sensation of wishing I could have made it better for her

OP's problem can be fixed by pleasuring his woman. Women feel connection through sexual satisfaction as well as emotional satisfaction. He seems like he is not doing a good enough job physically and wants to improve. My advice to him is to improve his physical techniques because in my experience this is where men lack in their ability to preform satisfying sex. Emotional aspects are important too but I just can't be consistently satisfied with sex if I never get an orgasm out of the act.

>Please don't listen to this girl. She is a girl but she's very immature.

I have experience with sex as a woman and talk with other women about what lacks in their sex lives, and it's always about men not making the effort to make their women cum. So take whichever advice you see fit.
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>>17904583
Yeah I agree with you. When I was in a shitty relationship I would make him make me cum, but the emotional connection wasn't there towards the end. Cumming was the new goal of sex for me and I wasn't satisfied with the sex we had because of that.
Communication is key. Now with my current bf we can have sex and I'll decide whether I feel like have having an orgasm or if I'm okay with just getting pounded. If I want to cum, I tell him and he helps me out (since I'm pretty particular about where to be touched in order to have an orgasm) until I cum. I mostly enjoy the feeling of being close and also getting pounded, I can be perfectly fine without cumming
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>>17904633
Interesting.
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>>17904633
how would you feel if your partner never made the effort to make you cum? that's mostly what im getting at
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>>17904633
>since I'm pretty particular about where to be touched in order to have an orgasm
Can you be, hmm, more specific? Asking for a friend.
Thread posts: 23
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