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How successful are apps like Tinder?
I'm still sceptical on using it. I've been told numerous times by people that I'm attractive, but my self-esteem has always been in the shitter. And I'm only in the mood for flings at the moment.
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I wouldn't bother unless you were really really good looking. The girls on that app constantly get messages from guy so you have to stand out from them. You would be better off going to a club or some shit.
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>>18391228
Meh, yes if tinder is the only thing you do. If you have a life and go out, tinder is just another way of meeting new people
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>>18391240
Yeah pretty much.
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Guys, I'm in a mess, and I can use all the advice I can get. Our story starts almost 20 years ago, while I was a young and promising college student
>Me, 17 years old, top of the classes, but a arrogant dweeb
>Meet girl in college calculus class, Let's call her Dream Girl
>Brilliant, beautiful girl, more intelligent and desirable than any
>She approaches me first because I'm a dweeb
>She likes me, we fall madly in love
>Each other's first true love
>Best years of our life, 5 years together
>5 years later
>She begs me for a child, I want a family with her too, but still arrogant and want more money first.
>Living comfortably already, just want more more more
>Her desire for a child overwhelms her mind and she leaves me for someone else.
>devastated I collapse into my work
>15+ years later
>I'm doing great, live alone, magnificent house, on acres of land
>multiple vehicles of my choosing, full comfort, all my hard work paid off
>Also ALONE. Nobody to share it with but my cats
> I never got over her, and looked for her everywhere
>Nobody was as smart, nobody nearly as pretty, no other girl's heart or mind as pure and strong as my girl.
>Depressed, but can't find happiness in any woman
>I check my email, it's HER!
>She's been almost utterly destroyed........
>Her husband an alcoholic who cheated on her and hit her and her kids
>6 little kids
>No money is an understatement, crippling permanent poverty.
>My depression pales in comparison, she is lucky to be alive
>Her sister a literal crackwhore targeted her in her weakness and got her hooked on meth and suboxone.
>Dream girl, pulls herself away from the drugs, but her life is in shambles
>She's half the size, skinny, sick
>Her sister still pushing her to use drugs to drag her down
This is where our prologue ends, friends. Here we are at this situation. It is almost too much to think about. She was my goddess. The one who got away, and now she has reached out to me and I will do anything of her, but such a thing...
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>>18391138
Do it, give her another chance but ditch her if the love is not true and mutual
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>>18391138
Are you kidding me? She made these decisions when she could have listened to you and its her fault. She will suck you dry and destroy your world. She doesn't give a shit for you and you are nothing more than a potential fool to financially support her habit and kids.
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>>18391149
I met her for the first time again and my love for her is stronger than ever, and I still recognize my dream girl clearly in her, but so much has changed.
She's still so smart, and an award winning baker, and seamstress who makes her own dresses, but her situation is hopeless to her and her crippling anxiety and depression lead her to her sister's house where that literal carckwhore pushes that shit on my girl. But my girl loves her sister and I find it difficult to think of how to separate them forever without alienating my girl.
>>18391158
This is ringing out in my mind, because I have always been a careful and strategic person, but the love I have for her is a crazy unconditional love that makes me go fucking absolutely crazy to think of her getting worse there.... it feels dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. Which is why I feel I need advice to see this from many angles.
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Fiance' and I are virgins and ate about to be married in a couple of months. We cant get our hands off each other lately. Should we tough it out till the wedding? Should we just go for itnow since we are gettimg married anyway?
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>>18391111
Wait till marriage. You've waited so long, why ruin it for a couple of months?
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Why are you waiting in the first place? Ffs, you're going to get married. What reason is there to wait?
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>>18391111
>couple of months
Just impregnate her already!
What's up, guys.
I'm supposed to give a 30 minute speech in a few weeks in front of around 15 people, as a defence of my master's thesis. Because of my quite terrible social anxiety, people recommended I take around .5mg of Xanax.
Does anyone have any experiences with public speaking on Xanax? If I consider doing it, I don't want it to fuck me up too much so that my speech will suck.
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>>18391091
Try 0.25 first if you've never tried Xanax but yeah it'll work
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>>18391091
Part of education is to learn how to deal with anxiety and how to "sell yourself" so you will be able to do something in your life. Higher education is useless if you are super meak super shy and cant even persuade your boss that the choice he made is awful and wont lead anywhere.
Find your balls in the freezer and man up. Or die like a little bitch you are.
>how are you planning to gaining partner if you cant even talk to few people on stage?
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>>18391091
Practice your speech like mad in front of a mirror and imagine yourself in front of an audience
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How do I let guys know I don't have a boyfriend despite rumors?
So I started a new job with a couple of potential cute guys but this extremely forward kinda ugly guy asked me out first I told him I had a boyfriend to get him off my back but he went around told EVERYONE that I was in a relationship now none of the other guys are interested in me like before
What can I do to let these guys I'm actually single
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squeese there bum
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>>18391046
lol
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Why didn't you just say "no" to the ugly guy?
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What do you do when your partner goes off sex? From 4 times a week to 1 if you're lucky.
I mean literally doesn't want to do it, no matter how much you flirt and instigate?
>hard mode
It's not you, it's them.
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>>18390996
Try to understand why their sex drive changed and what can I do to help them.
If there's nothing I can do, either deal with it or leave.
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>>18390999
I've been trying to help for so long now. I've tried backing off, asking what I can do to help, being dominant, being submissive, being romantic, compliments, etc. Nothing changes and I'm just told "it'll get better", despite them not being able to tell me what the problem is.
Twist - I'm female
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I assume your partner is a dude. Sounds like either he's depressed, or you really let yourself go.
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Is it worth the money to rent my own place for privacy rather than house share with roommates/housemates?
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>>18390987
If you can afford it yes.
Having to share a space with people who don't clean up after themselves, bring weird people over, and intrude on your free time is the most aggravating way of living. Living alone is amazing because you can do anything without judgement and have your place exactly the way YOU want it to be.
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>>18390990
Damn right
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>>18390990
Yes I can afford to live by myself, but I have a feeling in the back of my head that I might be spending extra money I could instead be saving.
Having housemates does sound sort of fun, but I can imagine what you mentioned can drive me up the wall. I'm living towards having my own place but I'm wondering if that's unusual (and money wasting) for people my age (early 20s)
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> be me, supposed to study
> start studying
> 15 minutes later: Go to Youtube to put on some music
> Be on Youtube, see random Video decide to watch just this one video and than continue to study
> watch at least 5 videos before you finally continue to study
> 30 minutes later, get distracted by something else
What can I do to not get distracted so easily and to focus on my studying. And don't say "Turn off your pc" I need internet access for my studying
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>>18390959
>I need internet access for my studying
Lol, no you don't.
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>>18390959
How exactly do you need Internet access?
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>>18391040
>>18391039
Online textbook?
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What do you do when you feel like you don't belong anywhere? People nowadays, they feel just so vain and futile. I can't fit in at all. People are more disgusting, new norms are being created, too much agendas being swallowed mercilessy.
What do you even do when you can't find a place where you enjoy being around people? I just feel so different for not being like a modern liberal millennial(not that i want to bring politics into this, but it tells you more or less what sucks around here).
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You're trying to fit in with a society that tells you to stand out and get bogged down for doing so
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>>18390927
Then what should i do? I look around and i feel chest pain on how disgusting people are. I'm no genius, greek god or strongman, but i don't feel good being around people my age anymore. I don't even know where to go if i enjoy being sociable. I'm on my 20's.
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I used to feel the same as you for many years OP, I moved to a remote country in Asia to live with my spouse. Everything is very different here and people still have family values and culture. Now I'm not saying that you have to move somewhere else to find like-minded people like yourself, but you have to find a community in which there is no negativity feeding you.
I know this might sound lame, but if you're a Christian you can join many communities for people around your age, but it depends of how accepting you are towards trying it.
You know, just go to places where people's lifestyle is dedicated to compassion. I'm sure you feel very lonely at times and I really do understand what it's like.
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>hate casual "follow the leader" normies
>not autistic enough to carve out my own niche
Am I doomed /adv/? Especially in today's society, it seems like you have to be one or the other.
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>>18390839
Your post is so vague my only advice is
>just bee yourself
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There's always
>"jerk off all day and get really into /pol/itics" frogposter
At least you're not that, right Opie?
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>>18390853
I dunno, I mean I know I'm glossing over a whole mess of shit, but it honestly seems like most people are either just 99% copying what's popular, or fucking off and doing their own esoteric shit that nobody but them will understand.
It sounds stupid but it reminds me of this one video I saw way back with NASA experiments on water in space or some shit. In one of them they added an antacid tablet to this sphere of water, and after a while all the bubbles merged into one huge bubble in the center with only tiny bubbles surrounding it on the outside. You're either in the giant bubble or one of the tiny ones on the fringes, there aren't any medium bubbles anymore.
Anonymous
So jealous of this girl. 2017-06-06 09:37:15 Post No.18390773
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So jealous of this girl. 2017-06-06 09:37:15 Post No.18390773
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She was my ex's first and he still loves her. They hang out all the time and are still best friends. It makes me sick. I have a sense of superiority because I'm prettier than her, and have been told so. Was kind of bullying her on insta but she didn't seem to care. Now that I've apologized i feel I'm wasting so much energy hating her.
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>>18390773
>bf hangs out with his ex
>he still loves her
Ask me how do i know you are wasting both his and your time by pursuing nonexistant relationship?
Also see pic related. You are backup girl. It is more rare, but still possible.
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Do you have no self respect or something?
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>>18390773
kek what is that pic
Anonymous
How to deal with suicidal urges? 2017-06-06 09:26:42 Post No.18390754
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How to deal with suicidal urges? 2017-06-06 09:26:42 Post No.18390754
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How to deal with suicidal urges?
Anonymous
2017-06-06 09:26:42
Post No. 18390754
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Had them since I was 13 and im currently 22, I have always passed them off as me being some edgy pussy and tried to suck it up but i just dont know what to fucking do anymore. Seriously life gave several stupid fucking god tier things and for some fucking reason its still not enough for my head
>job making 40-60k a year removing hazardous waste material at 70hours a week
>the ability to live alone
ended up sabotaging it all just because i'm to much of a pussy to handle the fact that im shitty. Went neet 6 months after my last EPA job ended and now im fliping pizzas after my family begged me to leave my room. Still feel like garbage and i dont know how to make it stop.
TL DR: how do i stop thinking entirely
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Your situation seems a bit too complex for me to be able to make a constructive comment, but I have come to the conclusion THAT maybe you could talk to me elsewhere? Another medium. I'm not much of an interesting character, but I'll be there to vent to. I to, want to be able to cease thinking entirely, so we have something in common there.
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>>18390754
Psycholog or pic related
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>>18390754
you can't live a miserable life because of the people around you, fuck that shit and do what makes you happy, bro. why did you become suicidal at 13? do the shit that 13 yr old you would've wanted to do, and see a therapist, say no to meds though.
Anonymous
Thrive for attention and companionship 2017-06-06 09:21:09 Post No.18390745
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Thrive for attention and companionship 2017-06-06 09:21:09 Post No.18390745
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Thrive for attention and companionship
Anonymous
2017-06-06 09:21:09
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Hi /adv/ I'm in a pretty shitty slump right now, so any insight or help would be greatly appreciated.
>19, extremely anxious and depressed, clingly, autistic, and paranoid about everything, neet
So basically, I'm just terribly lonely. Dont ave any irl friends, barely any online ones either. I try to find more, and try to find a relationship partner, so that I could just not be alone anymore. But..it's almost like I'm a background actor. Like I'm an extra in a movie cast. Any servers I try to join, any friends I try to make, 99% of the time it's me initiating. I'ts me adding someone, or me asking people about their day, etc.
And it hurts so much and makes me feel so insecure. Like I'm unwanted.
And then on the relationship side, even if somehow I do manage to find someone, I get extraordinarily clingy and jealous, and paranoid about everything they are doing.
I get depressed and feel like shit about all of this stuff. About how I'm alone, about how I cant act normal in a relationship, about how I'm not sought out.
But....what exactly am I supposed to do, /adv/?
I get that I shouldnt try to find happiness in other people, but its so hard not to when I feel alone.
I'm already taking medications for anxiety and depression, and they haven't had much affect. I've been going through tms treatment, and that hasnt helped either. I'm also attending therapy, but only for about a month now.
I'm just scared that maybe I'm stuck like this forever. That I'll be alone, that I cant trust people ever again or be """""normal"""
Sorry for the rant, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you /adv/.
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Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting. You sound very much like me, except I stayed this way.
I'm turning 31 next week.
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>>18390756
But I get nothing anon. Are you telling me to change?
Its so hard to change. All I want is for a single person I could cling to, maybe that is even like me, that would cling to me back.
If that is what I want, how do I trick myself? How do I make myself content with being alone, and finding happiness through hobbies and myself, rather than others?
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I'll bump with an upset anime girl I suppose.
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Tips for weed dealers.
So i am an upcoming dealer, I have a solid 5 to 10 people that buy from me but i want to get bigger, so give me your tips
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>>18390734
Buy a really big jar of Vaseline. Don't ask why--trust me--you will need it in the future.
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>>18390739
how will i know i need it if i dont even know for what i need it
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>>18390870
Probably for lubrication to fk in ass.
Op, do you know how i can get weed in my country, its illegal
Anonymous
How do I end the friendship without telling my friend she's a slut? 2017-06-06 09:08:34 Post No.18390723
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How do I end the friendship without telling my friend she's a slut? 2017-06-06 09:08:34 Post No.18390723
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How do I end the friendship without telling my friend she's a slut?
Anonymous
2017-06-06 09:08:34
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Dear /adv/,
A while ago, my best friend got out of a really long relationship and she's been slutting it up ever since. She's already been w/ 6 or 7 guys since the start of this year as far as I know and it's so disgusting I can't even talk to her. It's changed my whole image of her and I no longer want to be her friend.
The point is, I don't want to hurt her feelings. How do I end the friendship without telling her it's because she's such a slut?
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>>18390723
Just ghost her? Women have no problem doing that to guys they don't like or no longer like, don't see why you should have a problem then.
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Are you sure you want to cut her off?
For a different perspective, I had a slut phase too when I was younger. Now, I find slutty behaviour super disgusting, but the reason I did it at the time came from being really depressed about my big break up and feeling like I'd never be wanted again. Casual sex gave me some validation.
Break ups after long term relationships can be a really tough time. If you're truly her friend, you should talk to her, try to understand more, and try to have 'girls time' with her and stuff so she feels wanted without thinking she needs to get validation from sex. You should also be honest about her behaviour changing her view of her. Be like "hey I know this isn't you, and I'm really worried about you being this self destructive..." make it a caring thing.
If that doesn't work though, then just cut her off, but I really think you should consider this first.
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>>18390733
>I had a slut phase too when I was younger. Now, I find slutty behaviour super disgusting