Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1679. page

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>I'm deciding between "what if it gets worse" and "definitely getting worse."

Yeah, good luck with ignoring child abuse problems.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Barsi

>>18301930
Well a cps worker will talk to you, the kid, the family and try to talk to a teacher of the kid.

CPS unfortunately doesn't have the ability to do a lot, but a bruise or other mark given to them by a parent is a pretty clear cut sign of abuse. Most of the time CPS needs to build evidence against the parents to be able to do anything important unless there's something seriously bad, which means multiple reports about different incidents.

If you don't call, that's one less of those cases that could be documented and one less bruise they can photograph and guaranteed continued abuse. If you do call there's the chance they could do something or at least they can document it and have evidence for the next time an incident happens and you or someone else has to call.

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Hey anon, it could be a lot of different things.

Modern culture is garbage. Kids do all sorts of stupid shit because the media and their peers push it. I went through the "scene" phase in high school and I'm not gay, nor am I a virgin meet.

Also he totally might be gay or something but it's hard to say because fashion is odd and he's so young. You need more proof or whatever to make a final decision. He's probably just being a weird kid.

>>18301947

This. Boys in my middle school proved their manliness by deepthroating hot dogs. Kids are fucking weird.

Man here who shaves his legs. Originally I did it because of cycling. They say the reason cyclists shave their legs is to make crash wounds less painful, but really it's to fit in and be accepted among the group. So I would totally believe that your son is doing it for fashion reasons. Fashion is not logical and not practical. But it's not like young kids are expected to be super hairy so he'll look fine. Just let it pass.

>>18301871

>it's a gut feeling
>stomach cancer

i had a guilty chuckle

>>18301871
Wut?

She has a gut feeling that her medicinally diagnosed stage 2 cancer will be fine if she leaves it alone? Does she understand what cancer it? Does she know what stage 2 means? Does she have the shitiest doctors on the planet who did not do anything to inform her?

Or is she just still shell shocked?

>>18301887
That's what I'm saying. It makes zero sense for her to think this shit. Shr also mentioned about treatment being scary?

>>18301864
+1 Hendrix Gin
+.5 Belvedere Vodka, almost purely because it wasn't grey goose (fuck that shit)

Positives:

>You will probably be with someone who knows what she likes and what she wants
>You will probably open yourself up to a range of experiences you wouldn't otherwise
>you will be slightly less likely ro go through dumb drama

Downsides:
>Your sense of humor and common cultural points of reference will probably be very different.
>She will probably turn in earlier and not be as down to be out all night (I swear, the year I hit about 27 I became an old man lol)
>

>>18301864
Any woman 27+ tends to be baby crazy, so expect that. Have in mind she's already past her prime childbearing age and her biological clock will be ticking louder and louder, as well as pressure from her family and friends.

>>18301881
>Your sense of humor and common cultural points of reference will probably be very different.

This and baby craze are probably my biggest concerns.

>>18301831
Are you sure that u have planned a date and asked them out or you just keep talking and talking and talking..?

>>18301842
I ask them out as soon as possible

>>18301831
use a dating site or app instead of general social media

>>18301830
>I'm still in high school
Stopped reading there. I don't know if it's just me getting older, but I just don't have time for high schoolers and their angst anymore.

Your first problem is putting yourself on the high horse like you did just then. You could have all of those traits and more and a girl (or anyone for that matter) will disregard it all if you come across as arrogant.

>A lot of these gals talk about having a bf that has the same qualities as me, but then when I talk to them, they switch up.

You've already fallen for the worst meme. Just don't get a relationship until you're emotionally mature enough. Make more friends.

>>18301819
This is me right now and for the last 4 years.

Call me crazy, but I swear the regret of not talking to a girl your interested in doesn't even come close to the regret/sting of trying and fucking things up with a girl you like.

I think I'll just embrace the single life.

>>18301819
I don't understand the 'single is fun' meme. I think it is only potentially fun for women and super-attractive extraverted men.

>>18302286
Single is fun if you have motivation and or disposable income. You aren't accountable to anyone but yourself, you can take up new hobbies and invest time in your current ones. You don't feel tied down and don't have to worry about constantly spending time with the same person day in and day out. If you want to do something, you do it.

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You have your views, she has hers.

You are over reacting. She has the right to make her own choices. Smoking weed doesn't make you a degenerate. Being a degenerate makes you a degenerate. There's just as many functioning marijuana users as there are dysfunctional ones. The difference being dysfunctional people typically do drugs, therefore you associate degeneracy with weed. The similarity? Weed is a popular recreational "drug" that a lot of different people use.

All in all, it's not a big deal.

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I'm on the same boat as you, instead of weed she's starting to get into booze. I don't know how to react either. I despise it because I have a semi alcoholic dad.

Unless you explicitly told her that you did not want her to smoke weed or did not like the weed culture then it's your fault and you are overreacting.

If you did mention it... You might want to talk to her and ask why she did smoke (duh, peer pressure, experimenting, etc. but you want to hear it from her mouth and in person). It's important that when you do bring it up that you remain emotionally neutral/non-decisive about what she says until you are back at your home alone. Think about what she said when you're on your own and just rationalize in your head if that would have made sense to you if someone else said that. From there, you know what to do.

>>18301743
just don't talk about money ? why would you even do that ?

>>18301743
I have friends who are spending on what they don't have. If your friends are one of those people, forget it, they can do better but chose not to and thinks you are showing off.
There's really not much you can do for those people. If you really care for them, help them to be better. Buy them a book about finance. Try Dave Ramsey's Totally Money Make Over. Only $10 on sale on his website.

I have a friend who is much better off financially than me, and we were friends way before we ever entered the workforce. Basically, sometimes it's slightly annoying when he keeps pointing it out not-so-subtly, but I don't let it come between us because we connect and understand each other on a different level. Just connect with your friend on the things that you have in common, and don't flaunt the things that you don't have in common.

you dont give a shit unless he starts showing signs of you being below him.

he's dating you for you. and you know what, if you're working class chances are you know how to own up to yourself. say something along the lines of "no i haven't been there but have you done so and so or this" things everyone does. dont be ashamed or embarrassed and if your bf starts showing signs of this then he's a dick and shouldnt be around it. i dated a really well off girl and felt a bit out of place only until people realized i had life skills and could provide for their daughter in ways other than monetary.

I had this same problem - it fades with time as you spend more time with him. In addition to that, once you get your Master's and a steady career that utilizes it, you'll also been in the top echelon of society.

>>18301754
Wish I could do that too. This is totally a new environment for me and I'm too awkward ever since I moved to another country. I tried to rise my self esteem and own it.
>>18301758
After finishing my master I don't know if the chances for me to get a decent job will be that high, it seems like everyone is struggling with jobs recently. If I can't in a near future and still have to do whatever I have to do to survive I don't know if things can work out. Is it important that if I'm not wealthy in money I should at least be high educated?

>>18301723
Change it up. Throw in some kinks. Piss on her if you need to.

It's not rocket science. She's just gotten bored of the same old routine.

Try to get her into suggestion-giving instead of pure criticism. She should be telling you what she wants. How are we supposed to know what she wants?

She recently discovered the problem but haven't yet summarize or come up with an solutions yet. Or she doesn't understand why she feels that way.
Yes we can change it up. But only to a certain extent. Both of us are kinda insecure and don't want to get other people involved sexually, because at least I'm afraid lose each other in the process.

>Nor do I think us being in a "relationship" is good for her....
She's an adult. Don't parent her. Either you don't want to be in a relationship, or you do. Do what you feel is right, and if or when she feels it's right to break up, she will break up. Don't try to frame your doubts as looking out for her because absolutely everyone herself included will see right through that.

>I'm in a long-distance relationship with this girl. We live about $400 flight, 13-hour drive apart. I can't afford to go see her, and she is graduating this weekend. She's told her whole family that I'm coming.... And I just cannot afford to make it.
Why was she under the impression you were coming? Did you tell her you were? Why haven't you told her the truth before her family was told? Or shortly after, when you found out? It's your duty to clear up any misconceptions and to do so immediately. Be direct.

>I really do not want her to be depressed/suicidal.
Then stop lying to her and leading her on. If you're going to go, go, if you're not, don't let her think you are. If you don't want to be in the relationship, leave. But you need to be honest with her.

>>18301722
You have to ask yourself how valuable this relationship is to you. Without that info I can't say much how you should go with it. If you both are in high school, I think it's not worth it. Because there are so many opportunities out there waiting for you. You don't want to tied yourself up in this expensive long distance. You needed the money to get higher education and in return you will get much more.
Just tell her what it is. Yes she will be disappointed and her family will understand and be there for her.
Sometimes I rather experience disappointment early in life so I learn not to get my hopes up all the time.

>>18301731
I don't know why she told everyone that I would be going. It was never mentioned.

>>18301739
I don't know what value it brings me other than it's kept her stable. I never wanted her to do anything to harm herself, but I guess I fucked that up. I was roped into "dating" her, but of course, she can never know that.

She's graduating college and I still have years left before I do.

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>>18301703
One day playing vidya I come across a discord link for a videogame I was playing (WoW at the time)
and the server and people seemed a bit normie but I found myself some shitposting grounds and slowly built up to some regulars.
The shitposting by the regulars gets out of hand over the course of 3-4 months and the admin gets new mods that none of the regulars like.
So I make another server for the friends (regulars) ive been spending every day without break talking to on the server.

Let me clarify, this server that I made had a sense of comradery and friendship that was more meaningful and long lasting (1 year+) than i've ever had in my life. I could open up to them what I couldnt to anyone, even 4chan. So it ment an incredible lot to me.

>>18301708
There were relatively few arguements, 1-2 throughout the year. One of the newer invites (Lets call him CG) to our friend group had made their own server, he was socially awkward and over the few months he was in started to dislike me more and more.
Since the talking in the server was drying up I wondered what had happened since it was daily active. I found out that CG had everyone in the friends group on their server except me, but it was different there, with a lot more people that were just randoms and people that hated me.
I'm fine with it then, but eventually I get into an arguement with someone on CG's server and I go overboard. That leads to CG banning me from his server which is generally full of similar but less intense insults.
He tells me that he will unban me in a week or so.

>>18301709
I calm down, wait a week with my friends rarely ever posting on the server. I get back to CG in a pm but he straight up refuses to answer me and ignores me for hours while I know damn well he's online, so eventually to get his attention since im pissed off at this point I ban him from my server.
This leads to nothing good as we get into a full on flame war and since I broke the trust of the others by banning CG myself they also dont like it.
Over the course of 2 weeks I try to have a chat with them on voice or something (I try everything in the autistic sperg book) to apologize and try to make up with CG and the others that ive pissed off by now, but they ignore me and tell me to just put it behind me.
Now the server of my only friends and human interaction have ignored me and been silent for 5 months, throughout all my efforts.

>>18301693
Absolutely not. Keep it simple, keep it clean.

>>18301693
there are simple and subtle animations. they're adjustable as well. the purpose of an animation, in a professional setting, should just be to remove that sort of pop-in effect.

pop-in is fine too, I guess, but maybe a very short fade-in would help. where the hell do you work that they still use powerpoints? anyway...

>>18301693
do the one when the slide bounces in

>>18301659
It won't work, OP. She doesn't respect you and as soon as you break up, she will be riding his cock. You are delaying the inevitable. Never fall in love.

>>18301659
don't confront her, confront HIM.

be a man and kick his butt

Tell her that you see his true intentions and that if she wants to stay in a relationship with you then she will need to cut contact with him. If she chooses him over you, then there's your answer. But you cannot continue this relationship if you feel this way about this guy. It will tear you apart.