Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1687. page

There are books on this. Just remember, it's almost all social.

But personally, male or female, if you aren't being supportive then you are being an asshole: a trait most common to the human species. If you have to rely on expectations and how common/natural something is to act a certain way, then you are literally not acting for yourself; thus becoming less of an individual and more of the same. But hey, if you don't want your identity to be your own then that's on yourself. The life being changed the most is your own, not anyone else's.

Unless of course you decide to kill someone. Then you are REALLY changing their lives for the shorter.

>>18299093
It's a fucking conundrum I wonder about too man. This is a good question, hopefully we get some great responses in here!

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>>18299093

>Does anyone know?

No. This armchair pseudo-intellectual bullshit you guys perpetuate around 4chan about relationship dynamics and evolutionary psychology is a terrible, terrible meme. Yeah, society isn't perfect. Some things about being a man suck. Some things about being a woman suck. Somewhere in the middle we all have our gripes and sacrifices that we all must endure to find out place.

Being a human is unfair. Get a girl you're compatible with or don't. Play the game or don't. That's it. Do something productive. This conversation is not.

Why are you waiting for her to message you? If you like her you have to make the effort to talk to her.

>>18299071
But if she hasnt messaged me that means I obviously mean nothing to her, so why should I message her first? Wouldnt that lower my own value? You seem to hold a double standard here

>>18299077
Nigger. She aint worth it. Nigger.

>>18299013
Can you use the Google?
Congrats, you're a programmer.

You've got the degree, so you've got the basic skills.
Places will want to see that you've got the basics and the ability to pick up what they teach you.
Apply for a few places and you'll find out how easy it is to get into the industry.

Just beware, it's easy to get in because the industry is a meatgrinder and nobody except your coworkers will have an inkling of what you do is.
Computers are magic for most people.
Use that to your advantage.

>>18299021
i really dont feel like i did anything special in college
i mean you always hear stories on /g/ about going to an interview and the guy asks an on the spot CS question like algorithms that do X or with x and y make z that the poor fuck doesnt know and gets doomed out of a job

It cant be that easy to get into the industry, the guys hiring are usually CS people themselves arent they? they can smell bullshit and there are so many genuinely good people with cs degrees why would they hire me

>>18299021
I was one of the worst folks in my department I got a job. I'm right there with you, wondering how I got an actual degree by accident.

Yeah, you'll get CS questions. They're not just looking for textbook responses (though it is good to know those for technical reasons), they're also looking to see how you act under pressure, if you'll admit you're wrong or unsure, or just clam up and freeze. They want someone who will look for answers if they don't know them.

I've seen smart guys be turned down because they can't communicate. One poor kid didn't say a single word the entire time he was being shown around the building. Not one. Meanwhile, the chain-smoking scene kid who had to retake almost every class got picked up because he was eager to learn and had a lot of out-of-class projects.

And yes, the people doing the interview will be CS (if they're not, that's not a good sign for the business). They know how fast the industry moves. They know how bullshit the HR departments make the applications, asking for twenty different languages and five years experience for fucking entry level positions.

You're going to get turned down a few times, maybe.
And depending on the season, they might take a while getting back.

You've heard "fake it 'til you make it"? Do that. Don't act arrogant or over-promise. Just stay level-headed, firm, and don't gush about concerns.
It sounds a bit patronizing, considering how tense interviews can be. Just remember to breathe, and show that you're taking time to THINK and not speak in panic.

>>18298903
jealousy is a terrrible trait

>>18298909
Im not jealous I was just curious. Ive moved on Im dating his brothers ex girlfriend. Im a lesbian now.

>>18298903
das raycis

but honestly op you're a salty bitch.

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>>18298807
[2/2]
It took 15 hours nonstop for us to finish and when we finally get to their new place, he begins acting even more stressed and panicky, then suddenly starts asking me for $200 saying it was part of our deal. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about so I told him I didn't have that money for him and he immediately lost his shit and started packing old books and dvds to sell for rent money I guess he didn't have. I have no clue what went on with him and our last house but it apparently wasn't good, his communication has never been the best.

The vibe was weird at that point and after he took off to go to the record store or whatever to sell his shit, I left to go to work and I didn't hear back from him for a week despite calling. When he finally did call back, he sounded nonchalant at first but suddenly broke down over the phone saying he had no money, lost his job, had to get a night job at Walmart and that his wife has some disease that the doctors say is 'terminal' but he didn't specify what. The gist thru his sobbing was that he isn't doing well and needs me there for emotional support as he put it and couldn't describe how much he missed me being there.

I don't honestly know what to make of a lot of this. My dad is a known exaggerator and constantly plays the victim and surrounds himself with people who are also victims, so I don't know how much of what he's saying is accurate or what is just fodder to guilt trip me. After I talked to my mom about this, she said his actions aren't surprising, that I should "do what I think is right," and has let me stay with her for the time being until I get settled into a new apartment. But I don't know what's right. I can't shake the guilt and the sound of my own dad crying over the phone is still echoing in my head. I dont' know if I should go back and help him out or of I should keep myself out of that environment for my own benefit and I could use some outside advice here.

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>>18298811
bumping for advice :s

bumpin ons more time

>>18298611

Yeah, avoid him for a while. Hang out with other people.

I had the exact same problem OP. Eventually I ended up asking him out and he said no :/
Literally killed all feelings I had for him
Just find some closure and the feelings may stop

>>18299358
Best advice. Once you find out for sure they don't feel the same way, it just feels extra stupid to waste your time with fantasy.

>>18298365
This sounds like it's going to be really awful for her no matter what but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. No one should feel like they have to stay in a relationship they'd rather end. Just do it face to face and be honest with her. Give her some time to process everything before you talk about her moving out, like at least a night or so. That's all you can really do.

>>18298365
Prepare youself, if necessary record it if you think she might want to tip things into her favor by lying.

You have to do this face to face, no texting, or people who talk for you, reading out loud to her can help you but you have to look her in the eye that you're serious.

If you take the easy route it will get messy and will take alot of time and maybe even back fire if you let her stay for too long after telling her.

Maybe give her some money when she goes away? If she slaps the money away she'll regret it in the future, because it was nothing else than kindness.

>>18298365
Is she hot? After the break up maybe you might get some cry sex. Cry sex is my favorite!

I don't know for sure. Perhaps grow your hair out and cover it up.
Moisturise it perhaps?

>>18298345
That's acne, not a rash. Use witch hazel or acne wash every day.

>>18298345
Not shilling, but get some aloe vera gel and apply it every day. This stuff works miracles.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Aloe-Pura-Organic-Vera-Gel/dp/B0017TPE7C

>female acquaintance wants me to get a haircut
>say to her that I am scared and ask her to come with me
>she says she can't because of her work schedule (which is true)

>tfw don't if this was a little rejection or not ;_;
She is so nice, but she is too pretty for me.

My girlfriend sometimes tells me I'm cute. I don't feel comfortable with that, because I think that's not really... you know...
How do you mean it when you say that you find a boy cute?

Why does this girl always seem to ignore texts asking to get together, even in a group as just friends?

This all started in like December when she agreed to get together. When I tried cementing a day for it, she was busy, then started to ignore any text like that.

But she is extremely open with me otherwise, despite not being too close of friends.

I guess I am no better than plants you call friends too. Goodbye.

I dreamed about him AGAIN last night! Last week I dreamed we were both in some kind of group home/retreat situation. We lived in a house with a bunch of other people and we generally avoided each other, then one day we were all sitting at the kitchen table; you were sitting a chair away from me and then you suddenly moved your hand into mine. For a brief moment we held hands... last night it was more realistic. You ignored and avoided me.
Why do I dream about you so much? It's embarrassing.

>>18297243

I hate Americans. Seriously, fuck Americans, and especially, American moms. Get mad.

Ayyy. Right or wrong, I don't think there's any coming back after labeling yourself a pedo in everyone else's eyes.

>>18295611
Say hello to Bubba. And get ready for a 12 inch black dick in your ass.


I'm implying you're going to prison for screwing a minor.

>>18295621
She's seventeen and three quarters years old. I can wait a couple of months, and wouldn't likely go to prison

>>18299736
>Everybody is getting divorced
Who is 'everybody'? If you're 24 and your peers are already divorced, you might want to get yourself a new social circle.

Engineering in what?

>>18299740
It seems like everyone who gets married eventually gets divorced. I know the rate is around 50% but if feels like more.

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>>18299728
Give your life over to Jesus Christ, our life on this Earth is temporary and but a shadow. Once you step into eternity, it will be forever. Choose God, He is there waiting for you

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>>18299764
kys

>>18299764
Meh. Not an entirely bad suggestion, OP could stand to spread the golden maxim etc., under the icon of jesus.

No need to confuse the matter with BS "afterlife" faggotry tho.

Trade school teaches you to do one thing only. One job, one area of expertise. A lot of it involves physical labor, so if you ever get injured and can't do that anymore, SOL.

College gives you way more opportunities, and your degree might not need to be job specific. It proves that you can get a variety of shit done and work under pressure.

Source: I went to trade school, got too sick to work, and now live on disability while trying to pay off my debt and wishing I had gone to fucking college.

Pros
>cheaper
>more job security (at least for the time being)
>potentially a good salary

Cons
>your earnings will be shit at the start
>more and more people are entering trades, who knows what the job security will be like in a few years
>skills are less transferable
>might not be something you're interested in
>there will likely be some level of studying you're expected to do

>>18299707
>so if you ever get injured and can't do that anymore, SOL.
There are often lots of occupational hazards, depending on which trade it is.

Well you're not telling us the whole story, so we can't weigh in on this properly.

She's right. It's your entire fault. That doesn't mean your emotions are there randomly, they're there for a reason and the reason is her.

>>18299660
>argument
>should I get butt hurt over something said in a fit of anger when both of us were mad, emotional, and out of our right minds?

Up to you.