Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6748. page

>>16503945

No. Seriously.

>>16503945
Stand in the middle of a crosswalk, when people honk you, wiggle your butt to the honks.

>>16503945

Be around funny people- learn their skills by watching them closely

That's how I got to become moderately funny. Reading good and humerous books helps as well.

One thing though: what most people think is funny is often very base and plebian. So you will have to stoop to a lower level of intellect to connect humorously with the masses.

>>16503795
Do you love/like her too? If yes that's all that matters, I wish you two the best of luck.

I strongly recommend living with someone before establishing a relationship. Especially if they fly from another country. It is a very very bad idea. You should only move in with someone as a couple after dating them extensively for a long period of time, six months would be preferred. I'm talking about dating face to face, not talking over the internet. You are setting up yourself for failure.

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>>16503826
Yea, I do. But I know for sure it won't be just like with any other girl. Also, picrelated bump.

>>16503629
>chicks

Wear body armor and bring a bottle of pepper spray

sniff petrol and go to dreamtime.

If she says harvard isn't a valid source then you've lost her.

Ok

Tell her that it's normal to be misguided because there is a lot of false information floating around. Tell her that you won't judge her if she happens to have read or heard misleading information. Tell her that you just happen to have read information that contradicts it. Tell her that it's better to compare information just in case. Show her the information, printed or as links.
Ex: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/concerns/autism.html
ex: https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/new-meta-analysis-confirms-no-association-between-vaccines-
Tell her that it would mean a lot to you if she checked it out. Tell her that in exchange you will also check out any information she gives you. Tell her that you will still respect her as a mother regardless of whether she changes her opinion. Tell her that if she decides to change her opinion you will agree to never talk about it again, because you don't want to rub it in her face. You just want her to be informed. Tell her you love her.

Had a panic attack before I could get any sleep. Didn't dream because I just passed out after several days of inadequate sleep/eating. My last dream I can remember was about my boyfriend who left me and his gecko. His gecko suddenly exploded with babies and his tiny tank had like 20 geckos in it. That's all I remember.

Dreamt about a girl who rejected me 6 months ago

Lel

>in a resort with friends
>zombie outbreak, first we gather just the stuff we need need then take a safer space
>lose a few people I don't remember
>finally escape the zombies who don't look really scary at all, and barely resemble zombies
>get into a huge mansion where the right side is forbidden, the person that greets us is a girl I briefly dated but she cut contact suddenly
>in the dream she doesn't like anywhere like herself
>ask her if she ever cared about me, get an answer that she does a little but is busy with projects
>immediately wake up and light a cigarette
I've been having dreams about zombies from time to time, not always bad, but this is the first time she got into my dreams, I guess the lack of closure keeps things from moving on

I would talk to the head sensei guy about it.

faggot.


In all seriousness, I played team sports as a kid and bantz is a big part of said culture. Just learn to have some fun with it man, dont get so offended.

>>16501968
Fuck no, no gym should ever talk to their students that way. Get the fuck out.

»Assuming it's not a high school team in which case everyone talks to everyone that way».

post a face picture with no make up. Your probably not as a bad as you think you are.

>>16501853
You're overthinking things. Speaking as a pretty girl in STEM, I don't believe that most of those things happened to you. Like I said, you're likely just overthinking things mixed with an insecure personality.

If you care so much about what men think of you, you are going to have a bad fucking time. Do what you love, give no fucks about what people think about you. It's worked for me so far.

>non-neotenous
+1 for that, are you a bio major?

>>16501853
>I quit school because there's no point in going when I feel tired and look ugly and can't socialize as well when I look so different than the image people are used to.

Holy fuck you are a cunt.

School isn't for looking cute and socializing it's for fucking studying.

Just be a stripper or whatever, I dunno what you were studying, but it's shit like this that makes me feel that women should not be in allowed in the professional world.

I wouldn't want the fact that you don't feel pretty one day cause you to make a mistake killing me in surgery, or fucking up some important safety mechanisms on a machine causing the death of a worker.

Just stop already.

Stripping is a lot easier

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(cont}
..And, now... our damn water does not work. We have talked to our landlords about it, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do guys. I love my boyfriend, but he's ignoring me for a game, doesn't fuck me, doesn't romance me, and violates my privacy and constantly accuses me of shit.

The other day he bought 4 phones for 20 dollars a piece (originally 80 a piece) he has told me that they are for his family and friends, and he's gonna sell them marked up. But really, who does that?! What if he has a hidden phone used to cheat on me? It seems fishy as shit. He has a gun that he keeps hidden at his parent's house, that I recently found out about also. He has also told me that he could "cheat on me and I would never find out about it."

Why doesn't he just dump me? He ignores me and controls me at the same time... just wtf... I have been suicidal for weeks because of this shit, excessive drinking while he plays LoL.

The only way for me to successfully leave is for him to dump me, because he dragged me back each time I tried to leave, I still love this person... How can I get him to spend time with me? Do I just dip the fuck out?

run
dump the fuck out of him
he is a narcissistic fuck who doesn't love you

run nigga

You're better off OP. I caught 2 STDs from fucking girls on Tinder, and I used condoms.

>>16501746
HA ha ha. Nooo, please tell me you're joking right now. I've heard tinder is a soul sucking pit of shit, but is it really that bad?

>>16501411
You have low self esteem and look for attention. You are a male whore.

>>16500087
You get psychiatric help. If that doesn't work then hang yourself.

Nice bait by the way.

>>16500087
How do you start? it seems like it already started.
cousin incest isn't even real incest

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>>16500096
Don't think I do. Also not bait. Very much want cousin.

>>16500185
Yeah, we've talked about what we like, and sometimes she seems like if I asked at that moment, it might work; but she maintains this wall, where there isn't much physical contact. She also gets angry very easily and don't want her to cut me out and tell the family. She also hates one of our cousins who tried to see her in the shower, she hates him for that reason.

>I like grill
>Pretty sure grill likes me, I just have to make more of an effort to get closer

>Girl is very reserved in terms of relationships, word is never had one
>My entire sexual history is slutty girls that made it very easy to approach

HALP
Uncharted territory

I really like this girl and it would be nice if I could sleep with someone that would actually stick around the next day

I hate my life. I hate my daily routine. I hate school. I hate my job. I know I have to do all this. The worst thing is, the only thing I can think of that would be worthwhile to live isn't feasible. I just want to stay home, sleep when I want, research things I'm interested in, leave a language, create music, drawings, breed fish and reptiles, grow plants, take pictures. I wish I could devote my time to my passions. But it feels like I have none. The soul has been sucked out of me. I have no drive, no energy, even on days off I can't bring myself to do things I once enjoyed. Most days I have to spend a half hour working up the drive to even get up and go to the bathroom. I know I'm depressed. I just don't see it getting better. I just want to die. I can't do anything except ache and feel anxiety and despair.
I'm so behind.
Why can't I just die?

I fucked up with a girl that I really would have liked to date. I put too much pressure on starting a relationship that she wasn't ready for. I would care for her so damn much if only she would let me. Why do I feel so needy for affection from girls, is my self esteem really that low I need constant reinforcement that I am not a complete failure.

Oh i wish i cpuld tell u how much i love u. Maybe we will meet again my love. Our youth together was somethin i will always remember. What ever path u take in life inhope ur happy. I just wish maybe one day well meet again and we can walk down that path together.

>>16495751

HAHAHAHAHAHA GAY

You should wear a condom

>>16504624
Which team do you want to play for?

>>16504655
Fuck I should clarify I mean a high voltage cable repair/installation utility worker

>>16504673
I was joking. It is dangerous. But I imagine you have to be highly trained and skilled in what you are doing. Skill and experience with the right amount of fear will make it less dangerous.

>>16504616
Cut up some onions then rub your eyes with lemon juice. Crying without the sadness.

What people find sad is subjective so I couldn't tell you.

Are you single?
Kill a family member?
Not single?
Kill your partner.
Problem solved. Tears guaranteed.

it's possible, but only if you manage to not care about anything

as long as you care about things in your life you will have emotions

become a vulcan

>>16504604
So a better question would be how can I suppress all my emotions?
>>16504606
That would be tight