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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6757. page

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/adv/
Yesterday I made a thread about the boss who's acting like a father figure to me but also kind of touchy-feely and compliments my personality and looks/clothes.
I think I'm starting to get feelings for him. I feel so guilty for being a bit cold to him today. What do I do? I don't want to develop feeling for him and we'll be seeing each other a lot one-on-one in the coming weeks.
32 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Oi, a bump. I'm sorry! I didn't expect to suddenly find myself really really liking him, and I shouldn't, he's older than my dad. But he's so kind and he actually listens when I talk, I feel so safe around him and after establishing that he *may* want to get into my pants, I just don't know what to do because that would have disastrous repercussions.
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A final bump.
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Acting like a father figure, meaning there is a great age span between you?

A lot of people meet their future husband/wife at the workplace.

If you are sure you don't what that I guess you would have to talk to somebody. If it is a corporate job they probably have somebody to talk to (Don't mention name or position, just that it's a colleague).

I don't know how to deal with it, but you have to deal with it some how!

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>Be me
>Finishing up my medical residency
>My hot fiancee has just over a semester left on her law degree
>She's going right to work for her mom's firm making six figures and being groomed to take over
>The wedding is in summer in Hawai'i, her family is paying for it
>Our combined income a year from now is going to be over $350k
>I've basically won at life, but I can't stop feeling depressed
>Thought about driving off a bridge tonight

How can things be so great while I feel like such shit?
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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How are you in med school and you don't know how depression works?
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>>16498700

That's the thing, I don't think that this is depression. Also

>implying I'm a Psychiatrist
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>>16498702
sounds like textbook depression

talk to someone

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As an 18 year old who knows very little about how the world works, I have been trying to find the skills I need for adulthood. Can anyone give me some tips?
28 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Worry about yourself first and foremost, and don't be a cunt.

Stay away from relationships and focus on hobbies, interests, and your work life.

That's just my advice and it may not apply to you.

You just have to figure it out yourself to be honest.
>>
I hate you much, but here goes.

Learn how to do your laundry. Easy, right? But many faggots actually bring it back to their mums.

Learn how to cook. It's easy. It seems hard at first, but do it. It's so rewarding and honestly bring a girl home to cook a meal for her and she'll need to soak her panties in bleach to get the stains out.

Learn how to do your taxes properly. Seems scary, but it's like 10th grade math. Easy fucking peasy.

Learn how to public transport. Most cities have it set up easy. It seems like an "Ewww poorfag shit" but get the fuck over yourself, you pleb fucking faggot. You're one of us now.

I can't think of much else, but so long as you have food and shelter, you're good.
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>>16498669
>Stay away from relationships
Everything else sounds like a good Idea, but why stay away from relationships? Having relationships seems to be something more helpful than non.

I worry for my friend.

Ever since she joined college (actually while she was still in high school) she's always gone for the frat-boy type of guy. You know, the colored shorts and polos and boys with far too much alcohol running through their bloodstream.

She has legitimately told me that they're the type of guys she's attracted to, almost like a fetish. She dated one in high school and he fucked her and chucked her a week before graduation and broke her heart. (I've never had to deal with this shit, I'm into nerdy quiet guys)

Well now she's back on the hunt in her freshman year. She joined a sorority and in her first mixer, she got roofied and had to be dragged home by her friends. (I'm nowhere near her, I go to a community college) she sees no problem with it and sees it as normal and part of the college lifestyle. (This is where I told her she might be retarded)

She recently told me that while she's been at college, her "best friends" have been frat boys. This makes me hella nervous. I'm not sure they have the best intentions with her. She would tell me if she's been having sex or anything like that, and she just says she's been hanging out at the frat houses.

Should I be worried at all? If so, what can I even do? All I have is her older brother to talk to, who has been in the college scene. Idk who else. Definitely not her parents.
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16498642
Are you a beta orbiter?
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>>16498653
You are such a faggot
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>>16498666

That's an unnecessarily aggressive way of saying "yes".

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How do people in their early 20s live in big cities like LA or NYC?

Poorfags with minimal help if any from parents
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Roommates, networks of friends and friendly people, austere lifestyles and any public or private assistance they can get.
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>>16498611
I've lived in Chicago some I was 18. Moved here right after high school, got roommates, worked some shitty jobs to make ends meet. And 7 years later I'm still here, working a better job.

NYC and LA are both more expensive than Chicago though. But neither city should be hard to find a job in.
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>>16498624
Just found this room for 650 with 3 roommates and its 80 sq ft. Is this typical pricing for Brooklyn?

My girlfriend NEVER wants to fuck anymore

If we have sex, she is just "compromising" because she knows I am horny
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16498485
Just got out of a relationship like this, she admitted it was because she didnt love me anymore, and that ended everything.

Get out while you can
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>>16498497
I'm starting to feel like she doesn't love me anymore considering we used to fuck more often. In addition, she told me that when she lost her virginity with her ex that she had sex more often because it was "new and different". So I'm feeling like I'm getting the shitty end of the stick

I asked if she still loved me and she told me that sex isn't the only reason that she loves me and that there is much more than that.
>>
she might still care for you romantically but wont admit to herself that sexual chemistry is an important part of relationships. it might just not be there for her anymore but she doesn't view it as a deal breaker. just have an honest conversation about it

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Became red pilled and now all I do is work, play video games, and skype my friend in Australia. I feel there's gotta be something more. I used to have friends and go to parties during grade school, but now i'm just so dull and stay inside. I want to do more but I also don't like spending money. One things for sure, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. I'd rather go to Yellowknife in winter and freeze to death in the lake.

What would you do /adv/? I feel like i've stagnated here.
52 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Stop taking the poison pill.
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>>16498409
>became red pilled
that's your problem. What exactly did you change about yourself? The vast majority of people (i mean all people, including normies, not just internet people) tend to frown upon the movement. Even if you're a decent person, and you announce that you're red pill, people think you treat women as trash, so they don't want to associate with you
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>>16498409
basically, if you feel that you're right in your red pill views, you must also accept that most people think otherwise, so you're doomed to a lonely life of feeling persecuted (even when you're not). Once you have such a complex, you will treat "normies" worse, so they will treat you worse, and the vicious cycle continues

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I've been dating a girl for a few months now, and I don't know how to get out.

I'm 21, and this is my first relationship (sheltered upbringing, had no confidence in high school). I was hesitant to start dating this girl because she was very religious, and I wanted to get away from that lifestyle because of my upbringing. Also, I wasn't very attracted to her, but we both got along well and she seemed chill, not to mention I had been rejected every other time I tried to go for someone, so I gave it a chance. A few weeks into it, I was thinking about breaking it off just because of our sheer differences in who we are as people. However, about a month into the relationship, she told me I was "her soulmate" and "the love of her life" and started talking about marriage almost everyday. This scared me, and I wasn't looking for marrying within the next year, but I agreed to it at the time because I was scared of hurting her. No, we're not engaged, we just made plans. At first, I thought I could just accept marrying someone I wasn't crazy about because, from my inexperience, I just assumed that love isn't supposed to be as awesome as you think and this is normal. Also, I thought that I wouldn't be able to find anyone else who would want to be with me. Now, I'm 3 months in and I just don't think I'm strong enough for that.

Normally, I would just break it off and be honest about it, but this girl has serious abandonment and trust issues and depression. I'm legitimately worried that if I break up with her, she might try to kill herself. Also, my family absolutely loves her and wants us to get married, and I'm afraid my family will resent me for it.
I don't want to marry her, but I don't want to hurt her too bad. What should I do?

ps. Yes, I realize I majorly fucked up by agreeing to get married when I didn't want to and probably an asshole because of it.
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16498332
The answer is pretty fucking obvious.

Take a guess at what you should do
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>>16498332

You could try to delay, tell her you're not ready to commit to something like marriage yet. Emphasize the gravity of the decision, and how you're still planning to do so later. There are all sorts of studies showing that couples who wait longer to get married are happier and more likely to stay together, which might be worth showing her if she doesn't understand. This will buy her the time to get sick of you too, that way you can eventually break it off gently, maybe even mutually.

Disclaimer: I don't know whether this is really a good idea or not. I'm 21 too, and have never been in a situation like this. Best of luck dude.
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>>16498332
If there's no ring, there's no engagement, sweetie. You're over thinking that one.

But break up with her before her feelings go farther for you and she ends up actually doing something to herself.

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My girlfriend is Indian, but born and raised in America, her family is very religious and super strict, she is an atheist and does not agree with her parents on most things.

She's expected to get an arranged marriage at some point in time to an Indian man, and she wants no part of this, basically no ties with old world India, she's very much an educated American. I am not Indian, which obviously does not help our situation at all. If it hasn't been inferred already, her parents do not know about me, I've been a secret for a year. Her parents would never let her hang out with a guy alone, boyfriend or not. Any one on one interactions with a male is unacceptable in their eyes .

We've come to a cross roads after being together for a year, and putting it off for a while where she essentially has an Ultimatum. It comes down to her picking me which would end in one of two ways. Us pretty much being forced into early marriage, or two losing all ties with her family and moving out. The other option is picking her family where she goes about her life until she finishes school in May and is able to get on her own feet.

For the sake of any questions, we are very much in love and have had the whole getting married some day talks and kids eventually stuff numerous times and always talk about how happy we would be.

She's 22 and I'm 23 for reference. And for what it's worth she's my perfect match. For however corny or how doubtful that sounds, I know I would never find someone like her again, and I am terrified to lose her. I would be okay with getting married at this point, no matter what others may think about it, I know we would be very happy for many years.

My thoughts at this point is that a best case scenario would be convincing her to do a "long-distance" relationship until she graduates. But that would be a horrible 5-6 months, I'm not even sure she would go for that at this point.
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Let her go anon.
Her parents could have you both killed if there radical....
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>>16498292
You didn't ask a question.
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>>16498304
/adv/ - Personal Blog

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Say a couple years ago when you were sixteen, you did something a bit weird . You had a moment of weakness and put your hands down a six year old girl's shorts and tickled her. You've never done anything like that since then, and its been years. Does that make you a bad perso?.
27 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>16498281
If she let you, then you have nothing to worry about.
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yep

better hope she doesn't remember and don't do it again pls
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You are officially a huge ass rapist according to every butthurt faggot in the world. Are you really though? Naaa

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How do I convince a girl to abort?, I fucked her bareback and now she is pregnant, she wants to have the kid but I don't even love her, nor that I want her to be my gf or wife.

Don't mind me, I'd love to be father, but I don't want to be with that woman.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16498267
>Don't mind me, I'd love to be father, but I don't want to be with that woman.
then why did you fuck her, without protection at that?
>>
Shouldn't have fucked her then. If she's a decent person, she won;t come after you for child support, but you're going to have to accept that she wants to keep it and ultimately it's her decision, not yours.
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>>16498267

Sorry bro. You're fucked, a bit like she was.

Enjoy the next 18-25 years of contact with a woman you will increasingly hate.

Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
335 posts and 16 images submitted.
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To both: At what age is it too late to date?
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>>16498397
None
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>>16498397
There are 80 year olds who date. There is no 'too old'

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Hello /adv/,

I'm female, 22 and I'm considering joining the Air Force. Can I hear 4chan's opinion and experiences about the Air Force or military?

Thanks.
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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hope you like getting raped
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>>16498207
>hope you like making false rape claims.

FTFY.
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>>16498207

Go on. I heard this was common in the Navy and Army, but Air Force is better.

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If you're tired of being friendzoned then you should follow these tips:
http://youtu.be/jZHkdxioDDI
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16498185
Came expecting honesty.
Want my 1:36 of life back.
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>>16498185
Hate to break it to you but
THERE IS NO FRIENDZONE! its in the mind.
>Inb4 this is a chick typing

Girls don't put you there, you do when you stick around after they reject you playing the whole "We can still be friends and maybe one day she'll see for more" shtick. You continue to be there for her when shit gets tough hoping for that day just like in the movies. You can still be friends but set a boundary because shes a regular human and she will take advantage like anyone will. You want to get out? When a girl rejects you, you can either..

>Fuck off
>Or stay friends but with distance and boundaries

Just talk to other chicks and never focus on one. Will you get that previous chick who rejected you? Want the truth? Most likely no, but you wont be the her puppy dog at her side. That way you can still keep your dignity wilst taking the L and getting stronger.

You will get rejected, it sucks. You will be bummed out about it but youll get over it. Put it this way, if you can find good traits about you, you can tell yourself "even though she said no, its her loss". There will ALWAYS be another and by then you would have enough expirience in dealing with them. Women like confident men even if they dont see said man as fuckable.

Think about it, would you really want to be with a chick you liked but doesnt feel the same for you? How about if it were reversed?

Its a two way street.
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>>16498228
Whats dishonest? It's pretty self explanatory

>>16498234
You're partially right however the friendzone for guys is much different for girls. You prolly have a lot of guys zoned and you don't even notice.

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Can you really just walk to a psychiatric and get all "I want to stop feeling like I'm dying all the time" and have them actually help, even if you don't have any real problems?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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that's a real problem
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>>16498128
But I have a job and I don't drink every day.
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>>16498126
Psychiatry isn't there to do the work for you. Its there to guide you.

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