Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4435. page

If you try to control her, it'll just blow up the relationship. She has to be the one to wanna change. If she doesn't, then there's really no hope.

>>17400895
Break up. Tell her straight to her face that it's because she's fat. Fat people that don't try are worthless losers that don't deserve happiness.

And I just want to say I care about her a lot and don't want to be with anyone else, but going to the gym and losing weight is starting to fuck with my head because I'm starting to find other women more attractive simply because they are in shape. Today I caught myself accidentally "mirin" some chick became she could do a bunch of pull ups. I am becoming embarrassed to be the guy with the obese girlfriend out of all my friends. I guess I'm just confessing here, because I wish I could tell her these feelings, but I just can't.

>I don't want to say anything

Then nothing will happen.

>>17400863

Talk to you dad about it, once, succinctly. Or if you suck at keeping things brief and on track, print your post and hand it to him.

Then whatever he decides, accept it. It wasn't your ass getting beat, after all.

>>17400863
>I don't want my grandfather to die while him and my father are on such bad terms with eachother.
You can't control how people feel, OP. Having been in a similar situation as your father, and even after putting forth the effort of making things better, I can never have a normal relationship with my biological father. Normal people don't do those things to the people they love, especially children.

>my grandfather isn't the man he used to be, he's made changes for the better and is still a member of our family
Mine isn't the same either. That doesn't necessarily mean they've changed for the better, they just no longer have control over the people in their lives.

>The idea of him dying while my dad still has this conflict with him just really bothers me, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to say anything to either party because it doesn't feel like it's really something I should get involved with, it's something between those two, and something they should deal with, but I feel if it's just left at that nothing will happen to fix things and my grandpa is going to die with things like this.
Then maybe your grandfather shouldn't have done horrible things to your father. I don't think you quite comprehend how much something like that will effect people. When you're in a toxic situation with people like that, you quickly learn that blood means absolutely nothing. You choose who you want to be family with, often those without blood relations, because people would rather look the other way than to make a bad family member their own problem.

>>17400848

at nerdy events. go to meetup.com and look through all the nerd interests. go to local game shops, comic shops, anything nerd related and ask about what events they have. they may have ones slightly outside your idea of fun. for isntance instead of dnd they might have a catan tournament. do it anyways. its something new and most nerds have multiple interests. and if they have no events, ask about hosting one through them. they can make money, you can make friends, and girls do go.

no, not as many girls as boys, but that doesnt really fucking matter, does it? its the best place to meet legit nerd girls in your area.

meetup.com has been an amazing resource. ive been goign to anime marathons, lots of cospalying qts. one girl even asked ME out.

if you look like a normie and are reasonably attractive that is even better. the big issue is mostly age. most women fade out of it by the time they are thirty. nerds are more relationship focused cuz of their lack of places to go for hook ups. not saying you wont score, you can always simply omit your age. one guy in our group is 32 but no one knew until he said so. not that he was attractive, he was uber ugly, but short and skinny enough to pass for younger adult.

>>17400848
>>17400856

also just play pokemon GO. yes, lots of normies are playing, but it brigns the nerds out to.

first day i went to the pakr with the lures being set off. there was a really cute chick there and we spent the afternoon talking about how digimon is far superior.

>>17400848

>Ideas on places where I can start meeting nerdy women?

Finding an overweight girl with terrible complexion and a Steam account shouldn't be hard. Try McDonalds.

Also, whenever my friends and I see some edgelord dressed like a greaser in public we laugh pretty hard. Its terrible. You're terrible.

>>17400842

it doesn't matter. does it? she either would go on a date, or she wouldnt.

you could simply text her and say
>let me buy you another drink this XXday

if she says
>oh sorry im busy
you say
>what about YYday
>sorry busy too

at this point if she is busy both days and hasnt offered up another day, simply say 'alright then' and never contact her again. she is not interested enough to make an effort.

but you jsut need to ask her. it boils down to
>she is interested, so asking her out is the only logical solution
or
>she is not interested, asking her out is the only way to find out, and there are literally zero repercussions for asking her out, so you might as well

>>17400845
I agree and that is good advice

However I'm actually not too bothered whether she in particular is interested or not, more just want to satisfy my curiosity and know for future reference what it means when something similar comes up

You should stew in anger and grow to resent all modern western women as nothing but money-grubbing whores and post about it here in all your newfound bitterness. Fucking bitches, man, they're all alike.

>>17400839

as a general rule, converastion is just
>what you know
>what your opinion is based on this information
>your response to their opinions
>asking them about their opinions on all of hte above.

if you dont know about anything continue to sit out, but you could always try
>that sounds interesting, tell me more about the XX then the YY.

then wait til you can transition it to something you do know.

Why not just find a roommate and move into an apartment? Do you not have a job yet? Find a job, silly

>>17400830

this. you are doing it backwards OP. get a job first. then move out if it has the means. if not, save and look for a better job along the way.

Also, in case you needed advice for finding a job:
Make a resume. If you don't have an experience, list volunteering you've done. Haven't done any volunteering? List family friends, religious leaders, teachers who liked you, anyone you can scrounge up as a reference.

Include the WPM you can type, and lie your ass off about knowing how to use Excel. Bitches love Excel. Stress that you are a people pleaser (even if you aren't, people pleasers don't fucking exist, not the kind of abuse appeasing "pleasing" that exists in retail).

Now think of franchises. Any franchise. McDonald's. Walgreens. Safeway. Apply on their websites. Keep your phone charged and your ringer loud. Once you've applied to every franchise known to man, get on Craigslist and look for even more low-skilled openings. I gotten some cool jobs this way - a cashier in the cafeteria of a biotech firm with real scientists - but I had to suffer through fucking Walgreens first.

Maybe they're trying to be open? Maybe he gets off on cuckolding?

>>17400828
i highly doubt that.

>>17400818

>its none of my business

wrong. he is your friend. and you see something that could potentially hurt him. it is 100% your business to tell him what you saw. no more, no less.

if it is something that is okay / wouldn't hurt him, then he wll simply explain the situation or ask that you keep it quiet and pretend you didnt see it.

if its something that will hurt him, he deserves to know about it, right?

Maybe if you suer heat it with a lighter and/or drop it in alcohol. But even then I'd get a new needle op. They're cheap or better yet, get it professionally done.

>>17400801

nah man, she wont dump you until you hand the key over. that iwll be in person.

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It's over bro but here's a funny picture to make you smile

Make multiple copies of the key. Then place them around the most dero suburb you know with her address attached to each key.

She bound to get raped killed or both.

Pic related body (bigger dick tho)
An honest career (where you don't sell out your honor for money)
A well-maintained family
Good friends

>>17400769

depends on your definition of 'perfect' of course. you have to take into account that people have different opinions.

perfect would be like your picture. maybe bigger pecs and more defined abs. beyond that is more fringe.

as for creativity, enough that it helps them and their relationship with you, but not enough that it hinders it. yo ushould be creative enough to keep the relationship going and interesitng, but not so much that the pursuits distract you from them. its okay to paint, but if it takes you away from her, not perfect anymore.

intelligence is perhaps the absolute most subjective in terms of what is 'perfect'. being too smart is a thing. being too dumb is a thing. for hte most part girls (or rather, people) want someone who makes them feel smart, without their partner being dumb. being slightly more intelligent but not so much that hteir opinions are irrelvant.

>career

anything that makes good money, is impressive, and doesnt take too much time away. your career could be nothing as long as you sold something to make your money, like creating myspace than selling it. that way you are always around when she needs it, but arent just a trust fund baby.

>love

how do you be perfect in love? just anticipate everything she needs.

>appearance

see fitness.

>>17400767
Why your grandfather OP

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>>17400779
He risked his life and the life of the ones he cared about because of his beliefs, and that decision ultimately brought about the end of a dictatorial regime of 41 years in my country

OP here, I will start with my day.

>Your age
18
>Location (optional)
California
>How was your day
It was better than yesterday.
>Your current worries
Same stupid teen shit. Friend problems in general.
>Highlight of your day/anything interesting
I hanged out with a friend of mine, "For me, thats rare".
>Personal advice to give to other people
People will notice you more if you smile.
>Personal philosophy
Smile and make the best of crap.
>Sum up your day in one word
Talking
>Sum up your life in one word (optional)
Weird
>Song that sums up your day
ELO - Mr blue sky

>>17400765

I'll try

>I am 23 years old
>I live in hollywood
>my day was more or less plain, nothing special, nothing bad
>my current worries are my dizziness and my finances. i had brain damage and am recovering but this weeks been rough and the docs want more testing
>the only 'interesting' thing i can say is that i started reading a book on the philosophy of buffy the vampire slayer, in the hopes that it will help me get back to writing, something i struggle iwht since hte brian damage
>my personal advice is to try and enjoy the little moments. you can condition yourself to find normal days as a happy experience, simply because you had ice cream
>my personal philosophy is that life is what you make of it. when tragedy is over, there is no reason to be sad. you survived, you won, find something new to be happy about
>'plain' is how i would sum up this day. i dont mind though, yesterday was beautiful for me. i have a lot of beautiful days lately.
>'worthwhile' is the one word i would use to sum up my life so far.

if i had to sum up my day with a song i think id choose this remix from adventure time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSPfz_R7tsA

its been my theme for awhile. im usually very happy to be independent and on my own, and lately have been exploring new relationships. ive made a great new friend, have solidified a friendship with an old friend, have the best mentor / father figure in the world, and simply love the relationships in my life. I am struggling to find the ability to write since the brain damage, and i feel like that is missing, but it stil lfeels great to feel so loved and to know that I earned it to some degree.

>>17400781

>california

muh neighborino. you are OP yeh? only two posters, three posts. and im: >>17400783


seems to me that you are a few steps ahead of where i was at your age. i didnt get your mindset until i was about 20ish. keep pushing forward. you find yourself transitioning to 'smile and make the best of crap' to 'things arent that crappy, so smile'.

good luck

Move out, get a new dog, and a job if you don't have one. There is no reason to stay in a place where you feel uncomfortable.

>>17400753
Fuck off frogposter.

>>17400760

this.

>>17400753

your initial reaction will likely be

>ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO MOVE OUT BECAUSE OF XX AND YY

then any advice we give you around that you will continue to ignore and say its impossible because of other reasons.

the truth is, people have been in much harder situations and have made it out. you just have to think
>how much am i willing to suffer in order to end this particular suffering.

if your parents are the lesser of 50 evils, then feel free to stay with them, but then stop complaining about how bad it is because you know how worse your other options are.

but if staying with them is not an option: move out. walk two hours a day just to get to your minimum wage job so you can put money away. sleep at a homeless shelter or in a secret spot you know of if your parents arbitrarily kick you out for getting a job. ask a gay man to teach you how to drive if you dont have a license, simply because gay guys on craigslist iwll do anything to attempt to seduce you down the road.

suck a few dicks if you have to, as long as its all part of the bigger plan and not just somethign you are doing to survive another day.

it shoudl all be building to your big plan
>a job that pays enough for a private room, somewhere down the line.

>>17400747

if you dont have business cards (which you should they make these approaches a lot eaiser) simply write down your phone number on a piece of paper before going in.

go in for your regular order and ask her how shes doing.

>oh fine, you know, busy day

then you just ask. sometimes you can us eteh conversation to your advantage, depends on what she says
>long day, im tired and starving
>oh, well you should let me take you out once your shift ends

but worse comes to worse saying
>let me take you out for dinner this XXday

works fine. shes either in or shes not. if shes into you she wont really care about how well you segue in to asking her.

>>17400758
That makes sense. I appreciate it. Will going back in a day or two seem too obvious or forced? Would it matter?

>>17400780

it doesn't. coming back a half hour later might have seemed weird but you are going back because you want to ask her on a date.

consider the following
>she can either think of it as 'forced / bad' or 'forced / good'

if she sees it as 'good' she is a good match for you. you do seem to want to ask her on a date, and arent just causally like 'WELL IM HERE SO I MIGHT AS WELL UGH' as if shes not special at all, but rather just a convenient conquest.

if she sees it as 'bad' that you like her enough to ask her on a date outside of the 'WELL UR CONVENIENT' sense then shes not really your type, or rather just not a good 'type' of girl to ask on a date.

ultimately, if shes into you and wants to go on a date, it doesnt matter how you ask her out beyond extreme things.

>>17400741

you ask a question, then answer it.

it is a popular subject. the only reason it annoys you is becuase you have nothing to relate on.

its not htat women do this, everyone does.

>>17400746
>the only reason it annoys you is becuase you have nothing to relate on.

It's not that, I just don't feel like something that's private like that should be shared. I don't really wanna know about the people my colleagues have fucked, etc.

>its not htat women do this, everyone does.

The guys never bring it up. We talk about shows, work, exercising or just joke around like retards.I'm not saying the girls only talk about relationships and shit but it's definitely the most popular, number 1 topic.
This is the second job I have where I had to work in a team and it was the same with the other one.