How do I help my girlfriend lose weight? At the beginning of

If you try to control her, it'll just blow up the relationship. She has to be the one to wanna change. If she doesn't, then there's really no hope.

>>17400895
Break up. Tell her straight to her face that it's because she's fat. Fat people that don't try are worthless losers that don't deserve happiness.

And I just want to say I care about her a lot and don't want to be with anyone else, but going to the gym and losing weight is starting to fuck with my head because I'm starting to find other women more attractive simply because they are in shape. Today I caught myself accidentally "mirin" some chick became she could do a bunch of pull ups. I am becoming embarrassed to be the guy with the obese girlfriend out of all my friends. I guess I'm just confessing here, because I wish I could tell her these feelings, but I just can't.

>>17400895

First, congratulations for choosing to change yourself for the better.

Second, realize you cannot change other people, they can only change themselves.

Dump her, move on.

>>17400900
I can't. We just moved in together and I am in too deep because I have debt and can't afford to live on my own for a while.

>>17400921
If that's your only rationale for not dumping her, and you are exploiting her for fiscal stability, you're fucking using her.

Fat or not, she deserves better than your scummy self.

>>17400900
>>17400920
these.

She needs to feel the impact of her mistakes. Even if you don't break up with her, it needs to be something almost as severe.

>>17400895
>Basically, she has no discipline, has poor self control, and is too ashamed to go to the gym.
She doesn't even have to go to the gym. When I was at my largest, I was 5'2 and 230lbs. That was from allowing myself to get too comfortable in my relationship and way more than I should have. I even have PCOS and thyroid issues, but I dropped most of the weight by counting calories. It's not difficult.

>Tbh, her diet is shit, but she won't listen to my advice because I learned everything I know from /fit/ and she says she's not going to listen to some random losers on 4chan.
So did I, and I've never felt better. My husband even adopted the advice and dropped 63lbs. At this point, she doesn't care and just wants to make excuses.

>How do I get through to her?
I don't think you can. I'd suggest maybe showing her the thread. The relationship is going to inevitably end anyway, once the resentment grows strong enough on either end. This will either speed up the process or finally get it through her thick, fat skull that she needs to make some serious life changes. I wouldn't want children with someone that has bad habits either.

>>17400927
I went broke buying shit for our new apartment. I didn't move in with her to support myself, but by moving in I've been put in a situation where I can just cancel it. Plus, you can't just walk out of a lease.

>>17400928
All I can think of is somehow letting her know that her neglecting her health is causing me to not want to take the relationship any further. It's not like she doesn't want to be healthy and buys into fat acceptance crap. It's just that she is weak willed. I support her in a lot of things, but I can't transfer the discipline she needs to succeed.

Jesus Christ, I'm literally 5'11" and I weigh almost exactly 200 pounds. Even I look like a fat shit.

Your girlfriend is 10 inches shorter than me and 10 pounds heavier. What an abomination.

>>17400950
>It's just that she is weak willed.
Best motivator I've found? Fat hate threads on /fit/. Just start sending them to her.

>>17400961
In my defense, she wasnt that bad when we first started dating. She gained like 40 lbs over time and I ddn't even notice really.

>>17400895
How angry does it make you, OP?

>>17400965
160/170 is still obese-territory

>>17400982
I'm not angry that she is fat, I'm just disappointed and disgusted by lack of true resolve. She had the nerve to call me out for being an alcoholic and I showed her that I mean what I say, but she didn't actually do what she said. I feel like we both made promises but only I'm putting the work in. But I can't call her on this without seeming like I'm gloating over losing weight when she can't/won't. It would be me saying "I told you so."

Funny, when I ask her how her diet is going, she assures me it's going well, but if it were really going well for 6 months, we'd see progress.

>>17400990
Yes but I liked her because she was "high test" at that weight.

>>17401006

What's your plan now?

>5'1''
>200 lbs

Holy shit. Dump her OP, she's dangerously overweight and she's only going to drag you down with her.

For reference, I'm her height and I'm 115 lbs and I wouldn't even consider myself skinny. She would have to lose 80 to 100 lbs to be a healthy weight.

>>17401017
Try to get her to take a walk with me or to the gym and try to bring up the fact that I am almost done with my cut and it looks like I'm progressing way faster than she is, and then try to offer to help her follow the /fit/ sticky advice again since now she can clearly see that it is not bullshit. If she still rejects it, I might lose my shit. And then the next time she "hints" that she wants to get married, I might "hint" that maybe if she were in shape for a Bahamas beach honeymoon then we would be all set.

But I am super bad with words so it'll be a huge argument either way probably.

>>17401043
>hinting
No. Cut that shit out. Grow up and learn to fucking communicate like an adult. If you can't handle that, then you shouldn't be in an adult relationship, let along fucking getting married

>>17401033
Yes it will take forever, but all I really want is for her to be making decent progress; I can wait two years if that's what it takes for her to get healthy. I like her as is in many ways, but what I really find unattractive is not her weight, but her laziness.

>>17401051
Thanks for the meme advice. Part of communication is saying things in a way that the other person will be receptive to what you are saying. Blurting out ultimatums like you're fucking Gordon Ramsay doesn't get you far in relationships.

>>17400895

try to get her to go to the gym with you, and monitor each other's calories and diet. this shouldn't be hard to do considering you live together. when it comes to relationships, you need to be working as a team to solve each other's problems. it's gotta be mutual. if she doesn't agree to this or starts making excuses, then clearly she sees nothing nothing wrong with being overweight and if that's the case, i don't know what to tell you.

>>17401072
>Part of communication is saying things in a way that the other person will be receptive to what you are saying.
Exactly. If you're not saying something, then there's no way that the other person is going to be receptive to what you didn't say, because you didn't say it.

>Blurting out ultimatums like you're fucking Gordon Ramsay doesn't get you far in relationships.
Neither does beating around the bush and not saying what you want to say.

You've fucking told us what your problem is here. You're worried about her health, and her laziness is turning you off. If you're both mature adults, you can have a serious conversation about this without anyone feeling attacked.

>>17401083
>If you're both mature adults, you can have a serious conversation about this without anyone feeling attacked.

According to OP, she brought up his drinking problem the second he confronted her about the lack of progress. She seems far from mature.

Make urself into a handsome muscled man and dump her when shes not going to change. When she lost you, she lost a well build guy.

>>17401091
Given the fact that he thinks that hinting at her to lose weight, he's really not much better than she is.

>>17401101
Yeah that's true. OP needs to sit her fat ass down and give her the rundown. They also need to motivate each other. It's clear that she's lazy, which is typical for anyone trying to lose weight.

It can help a lot if you are the one doing all the food prep. Breakfast and dinner at home. Make her lunch and a couple healthy snacks to munch on during the day when she's at work.

If you guys are the type of people who buy Starbucks and lunch out, you're going to see a pretty significant savings in money as well.

Like others have written, you can't make someone change if they don't want to change.

One of my close friends died two years ago from heart issues brought on by extreme obesity (he had a heart attack, and then 7 months later complications from a graft failure killed him). Dude was in his mid 30's. It kind of woke me up to my poor eating and exercise habits.

I actually find chubby girls attractive, but I don't date people any more who aren't actively trying to live healthy. One of the things I'm finding is that fat women don't just have weight problems. Women who take care of themselves are also better in other areas. Lack of self-discipline (excessive drinking, financial irresponsibility, failure to meet obligations), insecurity, and self-loathing are just not as common in women at a "healthy" weight. It is so much easier being with someone who is both physically and mentally healthy.

I'm not saying to dump someone just because they're overweight, but sometimes you outgrow people.

>>17400895
>gf gets THICKER
>this is somehow a bad thing
sounds like you hit the jackpot to me OP

>>17401549
Thats Landwhale territory friend.

Break up with her, she's a fat narcissistic cow who abssolutely can't get enough of pleasing herself. Weighing less than your girlfriend as a man is a fucking problem.

>>17401580
even better

>>17401622
Not really a problem. I'm skinny af and prefer chubby girls but the attitude his gf has is just wrong.

Suggest the Keto Det and a calorie counting app.

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318KB, 1146x1600px

Weight Watchers worked for me and my wife. We went together five years ago, we both lost the weight, and we're both keeping it off.

>>17400895
get her into smoking crack

bunch of anorexic people in this thread

>>17400921
Then stay together but start treating her like a roommate not a girlfriend. No more sex or even kissing. Of she brings it up tell her you like her but she's just not physically attractive. 5'1" 200 lbs isn't just fat it's almost morbidly obese. How the fuck did you end up with her in the first place? You need some self esteem if you settled with a blob

>>17400895
I'm a woman who doesn't do well losing weight using traditional methods. The only thing that's worked for me is having just one meal a day. That meal can be anything, even fast food and ice cream. I've lost 2 kg in the last week and a half and gotten my BMI down to 20. My goal is 18. The problem is when I eat through the day it's easy to go overboard, and if you're eating diet foods it's not satisfying. But if you don't eat anything at all until like 5PM or 6PM, you're hungry the first few days but you eventually get used to it, and being thin feels great. Your stomach gets smaller. Google it, the one meal a day diet, TONS of people have success with it after trying all other diets with no success. People who are fat for decades who can only stay thin this way. It even gives you mental clarity. Could try pitching this idea to her.

You don't sound like a dick to me, I would have a hard time being with someone with low self control, unless they showed they were making efforts to combat it.