Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2710. page

>>17986289
You can't fix it.

Some stages of development are so crucial you miss them and there's no going back.

You're done roastie

>>17986289

you dont convince shrinks, you pay them.

that being said, you dont. we all have issues. they are rarely cured. you just have to be stronger tahn your issues.

>>17986302
I'm male.

>>17986304
That's not how it works around here. Free health care, I couldn't afford a private shrink even if there was one here.

Any other suggestions how to make it sting less? I keep having the compulsive urge to get myself raped but on a conscious level I know better than put myself on harm's way.

>>17986280

privately, and just try to eb sympathetic. 'im sorry man but i cant do this anymore' as opposed to angry.

then message people in the group saying you're just not talking to him anymore, dont want drama but wanted to make sure people knew what was up. dont explain the problem just say that you cant deal with him anymore

Call him out on the bullshit. If he doesn't change simply block him

What is this like a forum or gaming community or what?

>>17986292
Just a bunch of friends I play games with. This person will block you over stupid shit or give you the silent treatment after a temper tantrum. If we're playing something and someone fucks up, they'll silently block you. This person also has a habit of badmouthing people they have issues with in private chats during said drama episodes. Also tends to turn arguments that aren't personal into insult throwing shit fits when if they didn't interrupt, wouldn't have even been an issue within the next 10 minutes.

>>17986242

its a little weird. most girls dont want to see you with another girl.

i love that pic.

>>17986246
all my pics have guys/girls in them.
its just i ended up looking like a model in this pic with the ex
so dont use it?

>>17986252

you can blur her face if you want but you're taking a risk as well, especially if they later find out its your ex.

id just take new pictures.

>>17986238

make a aschedule and have at it. go out to the bars and flirt with other women, even if you'll fail.

treat yourself.

File: 1484265735630.jpg (27KB, 500x367px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 500x367px

>>17986238
Fucking go insane and embrace allllllll of the fucking feels!!! Allow your mind to go to her late at night, imagine kissing and touching her, imagine your life together. Imagine holding her hand on a bench in a park and she rests her head on your shoulder. Then smoke pot and jack off thinking about her!!!! Go nuts and blow huge loads EVERYWHERE!!!!!

CAPTCHA: Boing North

Imagine your loved one taking a huge shit and then eating it

>>17986225

by manning up. you are imposing a stupid limit

>i dont know anything to do here

google is your friend.

>>17986225
>hould I just start going to the bars on my own and hope I know people there?
You should just start going to bars and talking to new people.

>>17986245
>google is your friend
there's nothing here but the school and a (admittedly pretty nice) park
in the winter, there's really nothing to do other than going to the movies or go to the bars

>>17986259
i'm hopeless at approaching people i've never talked to before
i've tried the past couple weeks and it doesn't work out

bump please help

>>17986183
I wish I knew what to tell you bro. Google it or something. Hit up a lawyer who has free consultation and ask him if there's anything he can do about it. Idk. This ones tough

ask him a question

>>17986179
K, and?

>>17986179

each situation is different. how a 'friend' treats you is different than how a classmate or co worker treats you. regardless of the situation you should stand up for yourself.

if oyu arent good at picking at insecurities you can always just go for the easiest ones
>you're sad.

thats all it takes. then refuse to engage.

>>17986186
Idk I like to vent

>>17986190
I'm just not quick enough for witty come backs, afterwards I can think of loads to say, but in the moment I'm disinterested and increasingly pissed off to even bother replying.

I usually just leave, and then I get loads of hate for leaving, as if I over reacted when all I wanted was to avoid conflict.

Its incredibly frustrating because it's so constant now.

>>17986178

thats like saying twinkies are healthy in moderation. they're still not healthy just cuz you moderate it. its just not gonna kill you.

>>17986178

Set limits to yourself, and do shit outside the house. The less time you spend in front of the computer, the less opportunity you'll have to fap. The more tired you re when you get home, the less energy you'll have to fap.

put on pants and a belt
tuck in your shirt
watch tv, stay away from other screens
drive somewhere public, with plenty of ppl
open your windows
eat healthy
avoid sugar

>>17986145

set little goals. and achieve them. dont think of life as trying to achieve something perfect but rather achieving something you'd like.

respect yourself, stand by yourself even when you make mistakes. isntead of getting mad and hating yourself, breathe and take a moment to reflect on what you did wrong and promise to try to do better.

treat yourself like you're your own lover, your own child, your own best friend. someone you'd do anything for and want to help grow and develop, not abuse.

Improve your self esteem like you're laying bricks one at a time, each one adding exponentially to the support of the wall.

Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage. - Thucydides

This is the ultimate truth. If you're disciplined, you can control your thoughts. If you can control your thoughts, you can stop yourself from falling into negative-depressive moods, and work through it until one day you turn around and have things that you can be proud of, that you worked for.

Here's another one (I like the classics)

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius
It's all easier said than done tho mate. I'm on this board rn because I'm hung up on some girl I haven't even spoken to in 3 years and feel like a complete god damn idiot. I can't even talk to my friends about her at this point I'm so embarrassed I cant get over it...


P.S. Love yourself. If you cant love yourself, you'll think you deserve to be unhappy. Would you make the decisions you make if they affected a loved one instead of yourself?

You can't really believe in yourself if you keep fucking up everything. So first you must become someone who can look at himself with pride. Or at least with no shame.

Right now you're in a spiral of depression and bad habits so you need to break it. The most important thing to know is that it takes time. A lot of it. Even if you do everything right you won't turn into a great person in one month. That's why most people fail to change their lives, they try to do everything at once and that's simply not possible.

You first need to form a cornerstone habit. See, in the same way that one fuck-up can send your life in a downward spiral a good habit or event can do the opposite. So you need to decide what's your biggest issue (that can be changed), form a habit that helps with that issue, stick to it religiously and then, after a decent amount of time start forming another habit that helps with that issue. Since you mentioned that you're fat, let's assume that's the issue you decide on improving first. To start with you're only going to form a small habit, like go jogging 3 times a week, or go to the gym 3 times a week. That's it, no diets, no insane workouts nothing like that. Yet. But make a schedule and stick with it. If you decide on jogging do it in the same days of the week, at the same time. Having a journal for it also helps. After you come home from jogging note down the time you started at, how many minutes you ran, how many breaks you took and what distance you jogged (smartphones have apps for that, if you don't have one just approximate). And AGAIN, don't try to push yourself too hard. Don't do anything too hard. But be sure to do it regularly.

(cont)

>>17986138

Who is this person?

>>17986140
Dating app, you've never met

sup

>>17986123

ur not supposed to save her. this isn't some tragic myspace romance where love is the only thing that stops people from being depressed.

and even if you could save her, you'd be doing it wrong. cleaning a wound can hurt. you dont want to clean the wound. you want to coddle.

>>17986123

As someone who over came depression
who has dated girls who've had depression
who has dated girls who have had WORSE issues than depression (like serious traumas)

You cannot "fix" anything in anyone.

Even if you could, at most it would be a temporary fix that would not last past a few weeks at most.

Any real change needs to be self-actuated and self-earned, or else it will not last.

If you want to help her, not much you can do except let her know you're there for her.

>>17986123
She's doing it for attention

>>17986065

Hey buddy,

Been here before. Here's a good thread I read occasionally to help me deal with what you're dealing with. TLDR, chop wood carry water. You're not better or lesser than anybody else. The system is depressing but at least you're aware of it's existence. Focus on the small actions in your world that you can influence to help change the world around you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/e1zxu/10_months_ago_dmt_changed_me_i_cant_change_back/

>>17986065
Liberating knowledge normally hurts (the cave for example). Have the courage to follow the path, to keep investigating, to find a way out. Living your life to the fullest means just paying more attention and being honest with yourself and your relations to everything else.

What do you mean by stable future? It will always be unstable, as long as you keep grasping for stability instead of making it. Do you need a 40hr/wk job? Do you need a job at all? What was it about this career that attracted you in the first place?

It can be hard to understand a lesson, but ignoring it will only hurt more in the end.

>>17986120

Could you elaborate on the cave?

>>17986063
Tell her.

My boyfriend did and I supported him through it. We were each other's firsts and I wanted to help, and I'm not grossed out or offended by porn.

If she cares for you, she'll help and be understanding.

>>17986075
How would I even bring up the topic?

>>17986097
Just say,
"look, have you noticed that I'm not so, interested in sex? It's really, really not you. I think you're beautiful/gorgeous/sexy/whatever, I just have this problem...." and on into the issue.

She'll have noticed and will in all likelihood be thinking she's unattractive and the like, so make sure you reassure her that it's not that.

>>17986042

She is demanding attention. Has she shown any interest in you in any way? Or are you just a shoulder for her?

>>17986042

stay with her until you dont like being with her.

>>17986048

the only addendum id make to this is if you are the kind of person who gets too invested to quit and leave, then just drop her now.

some peopel come here saying they cant break up cuz tehy're afraid the girl will kill herself. if thats you, dont date her.

but if you can stand firm in breaking up with someone thats dragging you down regardless of what they claim they'll do to themselves, then have at her.

>>17986032
Do you come home from work and plop right down on the couch? Stop doing that

>>17986035
It's all I have the energy to do.

>>17986052
What is your job?