constantly miserable

>>17986145

set little goals. and achieve them. dont think of life as trying to achieve something perfect but rather achieving something you'd like.

respect yourself, stand by yourself even when you make mistakes. isntead of getting mad and hating yourself, breathe and take a moment to reflect on what you did wrong and promise to try to do better.

treat yourself like you're your own lover, your own child, your own best friend. someone you'd do anything for and want to help grow and develop, not abuse.

Improve your self esteem like you're laying bricks one at a time, each one adding exponentially to the support of the wall.

Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage. - Thucydides

This is the ultimate truth. If you're disciplined, you can control your thoughts. If you can control your thoughts, you can stop yourself from falling into negative-depressive moods, and work through it until one day you turn around and have things that you can be proud of, that you worked for.

Here's another one (I like the classics)

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius
It's all easier said than done tho mate. I'm on this board rn because I'm hung up on some girl I haven't even spoken to in 3 years and feel like a complete god damn idiot. I can't even talk to my friends about her at this point I'm so embarrassed I cant get over it...


P.S. Love yourself. If you cant love yourself, you'll think you deserve to be unhappy. Would you make the decisions you make if they affected a loved one instead of yourself?

You can't really believe in yourself if you keep fucking up everything. So first you must become someone who can look at himself with pride. Or at least with no shame.

Right now you're in a spiral of depression and bad habits so you need to break it. The most important thing to know is that it takes time. A lot of it. Even if you do everything right you won't turn into a great person in one month. That's why most people fail to change their lives, they try to do everything at once and that's simply not possible.

You first need to form a cornerstone habit. See, in the same way that one fuck-up can send your life in a downward spiral a good habit or event can do the opposite. So you need to decide what's your biggest issue (that can be changed), form a habit that helps with that issue, stick to it religiously and then, after a decent amount of time start forming another habit that helps with that issue. Since you mentioned that you're fat, let's assume that's the issue you decide on improving first. To start with you're only going to form a small habit, like go jogging 3 times a week, or go to the gym 3 times a week. That's it, no diets, no insane workouts nothing like that. Yet. But make a schedule and stick with it. If you decide on jogging do it in the same days of the week, at the same time. Having a journal for it also helps. After you come home from jogging note down the time you started at, how many minutes you ran, how many breaks you took and what distance you jogged (smartphones have apps for that, if you don't have one just approximate). And AGAIN, don't try to push yourself too hard. Don't do anything too hard. But be sure to do it regularly.

(cont)

>>17986232
And once you get used to this new activity pick another one. Continuing this example, after, say, 2 months replace all the sweets in your diet with fruits. Just that. Don't count your calories, don't get a strict diet, just replace sweets with fruits. Keep doing that until you have the "I'm fat" issue covered. By that I don't mean that you must be fit, but that you have a healthy diet and a good exercise routine. AGAIN, don't rush it. Don't try to impose a hardcore diet and exercise program in the first month. Small steps. And then find another issue you want to work. If you feel stupid do something for your education. You can start by reading non-fiction for 20 minutes every day before bed.

You get the idea by now, you must create small habits one by one. That's how you make them stick, if you try to change everything at once you will fuck up, relapse with one thing and then give up on all of it. I also recommend you read "The power of habit" by Charles Duhigg, it explains in detail how habits work, how they're formed and how they can be changed.

step 1: try new shit
step 2: become better at (new shit)
step 3: gradually improve mental state by being good at something

its simple anon, slap a few $$$ onto a hobby and fuck around untill you get bored.