How do I start spending more time with friends? I asked a couple

>>17986225

by manning up. you are imposing a stupid limit

>i dont know anything to do here

google is your friend.

>>17986225
>hould I just start going to the bars on my own and hope I know people there?
You should just start going to bars and talking to new people.

>>17986245
>google is your friend
there's nothing here but the school and a (admittedly pretty nice) park
in the winter, there's really nothing to do other than going to the movies or go to the bars

>>17986259
i'm hopeless at approaching people i've never talked to before
i've tried the past couple weeks and it doesn't work out

>>17986268
>i'm hopeless at approaching people i've never talked to before
That's because you don't drink.

>>17986268

>it doesnt work out

approaching people isnt supposed to eb universally amazing. its no different than say, asking out a girl. oyu get a lot of nos, but eventually a yes.

thats what oyu're doing here. just because one person didnt want to be your friend doesnt mean no one wants to.

>we only have a park and bars

i doubt it, and even if you did, use those to your advantage.

>>17986283
because i'm not 21 yet

>>17986284
i mean like i'm unable to start a conversation with anyone
i went to a club where i should have had a common interest with everyone there, and i sat in the corner because any attempts to start a conversation failed
i need to have the safety valve of having friends there to talk to and/or introduce me to other people

>>17986287

then you need to grow up.

either invite people to your place to hang out, or stop posting here.

>>17986287
Lol then you probably can't get into the bars anyway.

You gotta man the event, it's your buy in to their company. Shows you have something to offer. It doesn't matter what it is: go see a movie, catch something to eat,have drinks, get high, go rock climbing, play chess. Whatever. Something you can do together. You plan it, you execute it, and you tell them to be there on a date you set. You give them some reason you're worth having a friend in.

>>17986310

we dont have movie stheaters or hikes or anything :^)

>>17986314
i'm not sure if you're aware
but hiking in january isn't really that fun

>>17986314
I'm not going to be able to tell you exactly how you're going to spend your time together with them. I don't live where you live, I don't know you or them or what any of you find fun. All I know is if you want to be friends with these people, you have to conduct something to do with them. It's up to you to research what those things are. We give advice on this board, not answers.

>>17986325
that one wasn't actually me
that was just someone (rightfully) mocking me for wanting to spend more time with friends without wanting to put in the effort to find things to do

for what it's worth, i have had a few events and invited people
they came, i figured maybe now they'd start inviting me to things too, but that never happened
i shouldn't have to invite people to do things every time, should i? when do i start getting invited?

>>17986330

well now i jsut feel bad.

>>17986333
>for what it's worth, i have had a few events and invited people
>they came, i figured maybe now they'd start inviting me to things too, but that never happened
So keep trying things. "A man who digs deep may never strike gold, but a man who digs not will not." Maybe you're not hitting the right vibe with people. Maybe they're used to a rowdier scene, maybe a tamer one. Adapt as necessary.
>i shouldn't have to invite people to do things every time, should i?
No. When you have friends, everyone joins in. Everyone comes up with ideas or thoughts, and you share them with each other, and do fun things and try things out together. It's an organic process, friendship, you can't think it through. You have to feel it through as it happens.
>when do i start getting invited?
When they want to hang out with you, when they give a shit about you. And for that to have happened you have to have spent time together, and shared thoughts and opinions and jokes and banter and ideas and shown them a little bit of who you are, and vice versa.

>>17986333
>>17986333

>when do i start getting invited

when they 1) like you AND 2) are planners themselves. some people are not planners. but if you find that no one invites you after months of you inviting people to things its likely because they dont like you that much sad to say.

but again thats after like 3 months of invites. anything less than that could still be an awkward 'getting to know you' sorta thing

>>17986434
i remember when we first met, they tried to invite me to things, but i was in an even bigger mire of social ineptitude, so i never accepted the offers
now that i'm actually at a stage in my life where i'd feel comfortable going to parties, is it possible to overcome the having rejected every opportunity the first few months i knew them?

>>17986499

yes. just make it clear you want to hang out. keep inviting them, again, put in at least 3 months of hanging out 2 to 3 times a month, and they will likely start inviting you too.