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How deal with a transphobic family?
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They're not the problem.
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>>17987511
Stop being Trans
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>>17987511
Honestly I doubt you'll be able to change their mind OP. They may tolerate you but at the end of the day, most likely, they'll never truly accept you. That is, if you're not posting this thread because you want to bait /pol/ out.
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My girlfriend and I have been living together since last summer. We've been dating about 14 months.
We got in a fight recently and shes talking about living by herself after our lease is up soon and I was like oh so you want to break up? But she insisted she still wanted to date me/says she never wants to break up with me, but still might not want to live with me again because she wants to do stuff in her own life
Now to be clear shes not living alone because she wants to move away or something, she would still be living in the same city or at least a modest drive away, hence why she says she wants to stay together.
But is this really a thing? I told her I felt like if youre trying to be by yourself in life you have to be single, regardless of if we still love each other, but she seems to think otherwise.
What do you think? Is going from living together to living separate but still dating an actual thing?
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>>17987508
I can't see how going from living together to living on your own might be a good thing, unless living together was terrible (but then you should honestly consider breaking up).
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>>17987508
if it's what she wants to try, let her try. if it turns out to be a bad idea, then it was meant to end anyway. if it turns out to be a good idea, then it's good.
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>>17987513
>>17987513
thats the thing is its been awesome. We both like most of the same stuff, or so I thought. Now shes saying her personality makes it impossible to live her "own life" around someone as influential as I am, even if she does enjoy those things.
Honestly im kind of a lazy shit compared to her. Like i dont mooch off her for money or anything (if anything she asks for fronts on rent from me pretty often) but my hobbies are all non creative and sedentary. You know, watching TV/movies, talking on 4chan/other forums, smoking weed, video games, etc while shes more artistic naturally but when shes with me she always sinks into my hobbies for example she'll come home from class and while she knows she should probably practice piano (shes a musician) or something she always ends up playing Borderlands or Overwatch with me, or staying up till 5am playing Stardew Valley by herself
Is it my responsibility to get her to engage in more healthy recreation, according to her? Should I feel bad about most of my hobbies being media consumption or posting on forums?
>>17987517
i dont know if I would even want to do that though. Right now im thinking if she is really serious and doesnt want to live with me for no good reason I wont feel comfortable saying im in a relationship with her. I care for her very much and always want to be supportive for her but i wont be her lap dog made outdoor dog, you know?
Anonymous
Friend Doesn't Like Me 2017-01-24 09:38:20 Post No.17987438
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Today my "friend" told me what he told me months ago. That he doesn't like me. I can tell why he didn't like me before since I used to be an annoying little faggot who bragged about 4chan being the best site and hated on Undertale because we both liked it, but it was fun trashing on it. I was an idiot then, but I've matured.
Over the past few weeks we've had some great convos. We found a lot of common ground together. He's a huge nerd and I used to be really into video games and have memories of classic YouTube videos and that stuff. It was all smiles and laughs for days until he started ignoring and not responding to me today and then told me the truth. I asked him why he still didn't like me, but he said he was too tired to explain. This whole time I thought I earned my reputation back, but I guess not.
Look, I know that the solution is to forget about him and move on, but I can't stop thinking about this. I will still be nice when I see him, but I'm done trying to be his friend. I have friends who respect me much more than he ever did to me. How should I deal with future interactions with him? As much as I hate to admit it, despite my normally high self-esteem, somehow he hurt me. I feel unappreciated. I was being nice to him and told him I could invite him to hangout at a mutual friend's house (he doesn't have many friends and gets bullied a bit), but I guess it meant nothing to him. Honestly, I think he's being a bit dishonest with himself just to feel superior than me and make me feel worse than him which is probably why he used to steal my shit then give it back and grab my arm to prove his strength. Inside I know I will forget about this and move on, but for now I think I just want some /adv/ therapy. Have you had any similar experiences? Any thoughts or advice on my situation? What do you think I should do? Any criticisms of me, him or whoever? I think I just want to vent. Just by writing this I feel better and am happy this "friendship" is over.
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>>17987438
He sounds like an asshole. There's a reason he gets bullied and has no friends.
Fuck him, life is too short to waste time trying to win the affection of some autistic dick. The only reason you want to be his friend is because of nostalgia. I know because I have the same problem letting go of old friends.
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>>17987438
I feel for you OP. Just hang in there, you're probably better off without this guy. Others try to pretend that they have all their shit together, but this guy is probably taking his problems out on you because you're weaker than him and because he can. I'm guessing that's the only kind of power trip he gets.
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Forget about him man. Fags gonna fag. I don't really think you can fix first impressions with judgemental and sensitive people. Just cut this fat out of your life man, this faggot isn't with your time.
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I have an MRI brain scan booked in a little over an hour.
I'm terrified, this may or may not provide the answers I've been looking for for over 2 years. My anxiety levels are through the roof, I'm shaking.
Has anyone here been for one before? Did it find anything unusual about your brain?
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>>17987433
Is there a specific reason you're having it done?
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>>17987436
I have had severe memory, concentration and emotional problems for just over a year now. To the point where it's negatively affecting my mind.
Two years ago, I technically OD'd on a powerful psychedelic and passed out instantly, I must of decided to pick a fight with the bathroom sink on the way down, which I lost. Badly. Don't remember how long I was out or how much blood I lost.
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>>17987449
It sounds like the MRI is going to be worth it then. Even if they do find something's wrong, at least it's better than not knowing and wondering what's going on and whether you're crazy.
Anonymous
What's the best way to break up with a guy? 2017-01-24 09:15:30 Post No.17987408
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What's the best way to break up with a guy? 2017-01-24 09:15:30 Post No.17987408
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What's the best way to break up with a guy?
Anonymous
2017-01-24 09:15:30
Post No. 17987408
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I'm at the point where my current (and first) relationship isn't working.
However, I don't know how to break up with someone. How do I do it /adv/? What do I say? I don't want to be pathetic or overly angry etc, and I don't want to hurt him any more than necessary.
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>>17987408
be direct, objective, unambiguous, and firm.
also hope for the best, but plan for the worst. people sometimes react poorly to this sort of thing.
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>>17987423
I'm going to do it somewhere relatively secluded, but not totally private - like a park, in a corner.
I thought this might negate a tantrum or something
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>>17987426
not necessarily. i have seen and been in situations where being in public did not dissuade someone from losing their shit acting like an idiot. but being in public=witnesses, thats the important bit.
Anonymous
ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2017-01-24 09:00:11 Post No.17987388
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2017-01-24 09:00:11 Post No.17987388
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Anonymous
2017-01-24 09:00:11
Post No. 17987388
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
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Would you fuck a guy out of stress? like, exam stress? It has been a thing with me and this girl since last semester. Firstly, I don't know much about her beside her name and her major, not even the same major as me. One afternoon last November, we sat near each other in the library and I saw her struggling against a discrete math problem, so I sat down next to her and doodled my solution on her note, she thanked me and we started having review sessions together. She was under a lot of stress and even broke down crying thinking she will fail, and said she will drop out if she fails, then something about having kids and becoming a housewife, and that she hates being a housewife. I can't recall what I said but the next thing I remember, she was giving me a hand job in the bathroom. And after that, many more, whenever a major test was coming. Then one day we studied from 5 PM to 4 AM, she fell asleep next to me, and when we woke up it became full blown sex, yes she bought condoms to our study session. We never communicated much outside of our time studying together, whenever she texts me it would be about some problem from her class.
I really like her now, at first I thought she's the typical dumb pretty girl, but the effort she spent in preparing for classes is admirable. I would like to keep having sex with her, but I have no idea if I should initiate sex or ask her out since if she has to turn me down during our study it'd be really awkward, and she probably won't want to study with me again.
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A girl texted me after our first date, she said "I like you so much it's stupid" and when agreeing to a second said that she'd "really like to see (me)". I really like this person so I immediatly interpreted this meaning that the person has feelings for me, but my pessimism and experiences with "lol I just meant as a friend" have made me a lot more cautious.
To the women in this thread, if you sent that to a guy, what would it mean?
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>>17987398
The most you're going to get from her is FWB, and even that's not guaranteed in the long run
Anonymous
Custody and Stupidity 2017-01-24 08:57:38 Post No.17987385
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Custody and Stupidity 2017-01-24 08:57:38 Post No.17987385
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I posted here about a week ago so just for recap.
>Girlfriend of 3 years was cheating on me
>She's filing false claims of rape/abuse/hacking against me
>She has my old email address and is using it
>New boyfriend filed complaints on me on IC3.gov and claimed I was hacking
Ultimately, I know my ex has issues but I don't want to see her prosecuted for the false allegations. She has issues. She's on meds. what can be done?
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>>17987385
hire a lawyer
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I already have an attorney. Sorry about that. That's quite useful information.
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>>17987385
Prosecute her or get prosecuted.
Being kind won't bring you anything here.
Also
>claimed I was hacking
Well, no worry here. As soon as the judge reads that crap, he will know the piece of shit is indeed full of shit.
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How do i transition from best friend to friends with benefits?
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You probably don't
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>>17987327
Please. We're pretty open when talking about our sexual experiences, and she sometimes tells me she misses sex now that she's single. I feel I could swoop in then, no?
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>>17987333
are you good looking?
'Sup /adv/isors. I just started a new job and this girl has been flirting with me nonstop for weeks. It started out subtle (but not that ethereal indistinguishable BS) but has been getting more intense. To skip a lot of boring details, last week she just about directly asked me if I was interested, and I said something to the effect of "I'm not really looking right now." She felt shut down and was mopey after that, and today for most of the day she wouldn't look at, talk to or acknowledge me.
Anyway, one of our team leaders basically insists that our team all sit together at lunch. There were no more seats when I got to the table, so I ended up sitting next to this girl. Something or other was said to break the ice and she was at least friendly with me after that. We got back into the office, and when the lights were out to watch a video presentation, I kept catching her giving me the most intense longing stares I've ever seen. Shit almost weirded me out, but it made me feel kinda bad for her.
As to my side of things, I think she's good looking, but any other feelings aren't so positive. The first thing is just an age barrier. She's 19 or 20, and I have nothing to talk to her about. Second, and I don't mean this to be mean in any way, she's dumb as a brick. I mean, really stupid. Not being on the same level in that way would hamper any kind of connection, not to mention she'd get on my nerves after a while. That's my single biggest concern. There are other things, like where we're from, music, food, little concerns for any relationship that might otherwise be overcome.
But man, those eyes today. It almost hurt seeing her look at me like that. I get a bit of an impression that she might be young, bored and horny, and getting laid would be enough for her, but I've never done the pity sex thing and don't know how it works or how to avoid hurting her feelings if she ends up wanting more than that. Pic unrelated.
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>>17987323
Is she wanting just sex? Kind of doubt it.
If you start fucking her she's only going to be come more attached, and you're only going to hurt her worse.
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>>17987323
>If you start fucking her she's only going to be come more attached, and you're only going to hurt her worse.
+1
Don't do it, unless she herself gives the idea she just wants sex.
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>>17987323
Why don't you.. try it? You only live once, maybe there is something to this experience that will enrich your life.
I've met with this female twice before... Online thing. We kissed the first time, second time aswell. She had told me she wanted to fuck... But didn't wanna give it up too easy, since she felt I wouldn't care about her, and I told her straight up I wouldn't, I know I cock blocked myself. I'd rather be honest than hurt anyone, just seemed to soon, I told her I'm looking for friends with benefits.
>meet up with her
>ask if she wants to go to the movies or eat.... Get shut down.
>so we're just chilling in the car like at 11 pm....
I drove an hour just to see her, she doesn't want to do shit, but chill. How the fuck does this not scream "let's fuck"?
>I'm trying to talk to her
>she keeps her answers short
She's the nervous and quiet type, cares too much about what she'll say might come off as stupid. We've all been there.
>I keep trying and it hits me that over text she talks like crazy and in person nothing.
>after a couple moments I start thinking she's not putting any effort, why should I....
>I stay quiet, give her short answers
>she asks if I wanna leave
>switch it back on her, she says no
I shoulda left
>I go in for a kiss;seems forced
>ask if she wants to go to the back of car, she does, we make out and I start feeling up on her
>she says no and holds my hands back, tells me that I ain't getting shit.....
>I take it as be a man and start grabbing up more
>she doesn't seem to want it
>I realize what I'm doing... And I stop and tell her I gotta go...
>she asks what's wrong
>I explain that I'm disrespecting her and I feel like a rapist and I should leave.
On text she seems cool, even flirty but in person no.... It felt like I was trying to rape her. I've been with 9 women, I've never had to use drugs or anything like that. I'm better than that.
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LOL just use drugs and have fun.
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>>17987334
Op here, Man I was thinking the same shit..... Being honest and nice don't get me shit.... Meanwhile homeboy who lies and romantizes gets all the pussy he wants.
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>>17987320
OP you did the right thing : if you are not sure about if the girl is willing or not, don't do anything.
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Help
>start dating guy
>been on two dates so far, plan to fuck next time we see each other.
>tells me even though he really likes me and would want something serious with me he doesn't want to make anything official because he might have to move later in the year and wouldn't wanna fuck me over by having to leave, but he doesn't know if he has to move yet even though he said it's likely
>enter another guy
>we've hooked up before
>he hits me up tonight for the first time in months
Would I have anything to feel guilty about it I fucked guy number two? Am I really supposed to sit in relationship purgatory for guy number 1 til he figures his life out?
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Use your judgment.
Would it hurt guy 1.
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if you don't want to wait for the first guy then just end things
also post pic pls
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>>17987311
Possibly. I feel like it would but I also feels like he knows he can't voice it to me if if does because he's the one keeping me waiting. He knows he'd be my one and only if he really wanted it instead of playing games.
>>17987312
I'm supposed to see guy number 1 and seal the deal within a week. And no, lmao
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It has come to my attention that my girlfriend wants to get a tattoo. Problem is, I'm absolutely turned off by tattooed women. Like I can't really get a hard on for any girl with tattoo. How do I convince her not to go through with it without sounding like a control freak? She's had a previous boyfriend who'd try to control everything about her. I tried to bring the tattoo thing up with her awhile ago but I felt the tension building so I dropped the topic. I think she's being defensive because she's on guard that I might be trying to control her. I just want her to consider how I feel as I've already told her that I'm not into tattoos at all. What's the best way to approach this situation?
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Just casually mentioned that you don't approve, but don't make it a big deal. Then when she does it anyway, just leave her because you're not attracted to her anymore. That's really all you can do.
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you could always ask her if your opinion or the tattoo are more important. Should be an easy choice if your relationship is strong.
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>>17987287
What kind of tattoo? where does she want it?
There's a possibility you're massively overreacting, but if you absolutely cannot "get hard" for a little ink on someones skin then just dump her. If you stop her from doing it, she will resent you in the long term.
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Am femme OP, nervous I don't do so well in the sack, advice?
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>>17987268
fart on his balls
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>>17987269
This.
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>>17987268
most women don't so he probably has low expectations anyway.
How the fuck do I get a job?
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>>17987229
know your worth, then spam every potential job including thise that are below it and those that are slightly above it.
>but that hasn't work yet
for some people it takes a long time. so keep trying
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>>17987229
>10+ years experience required
>apply anyway
>got the job
lol
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>>17987229
tell unverifiable lies and fake it till you make it
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>screw up in school, be disappointed with my physical appearance, or otherwise experience any sort of negative situation.
>rational part of me: change your behavior so that this sort of thing happens less in the future.
>irrational part of me: suicide is the only option. Do it, faggot.
>change nothing and do nothing.
>cycle repeats.
How do I stop this? How do I break this mentality and start doing the things I need to do? I'm not even that much of a screw up. With a little focus I might not have to resort to the solace of suicidal thought so often, but as of now it feels like one day I am gonna mess things up so bad I go through with it.
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>>17987162
change something and do something.
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>>17987162
Do you take drugs or drink a lot?
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>>17987180
That's what I've been trying to do for over half a decade and I'm still caught in the same bad habits that lead me to wanting to kill myself.