Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2551. page

comment too long:

tldr: asian girl is needy and selfish (in my opinion), she has couple weeks off and I am super busy and I said I'll see her V-day instead of this sunday and now she is pissed off. I feel abused and annoyed.

>>18038701
>fobbish chinese girl
Didn't even need to read further, this is your problem. Complain about white girls all you want, but Asians don't even try to hide their materialism.

>>18038705
She's not materialistic at all dude. I know it's easy to assume things about her, but she's pretty cool even though she's fobbish chinese girl. She was basically raised in NY and her parents are VERY well off. So I can definitely say she is not materialistic. But goddamn she wants a hella lots of small cutesy shit (which I don't mind that much).

Dont let it define you. Like, "I like nerd stuff", but im not a nerd. You can be into lets of things. Also, learn to step in someone elses shoes.

Probably, unless you don't want it to. Do you feel lonely/alone at times?

If so, start talking to people and see what happens.

>>18038698

>never wanted to be social

if you've never wanted to be social then why are you acting like its a sad thing

What is with you white people and putting on weight

ridiculous

Wish I had an answer for you bro.. but all I can tell you is to work on yourself. Start running, get fit, eat well, even if she doesn't come back, at least you can make her feel like -her leaving was an awesome motivator for you to start fresh. She may notice that, I dunno.

I know it seems shallow and trivial or even insignificant, and you may even feel disgusted by her if you do get fit and THAT of all reasons is why she returned. But at least you can feel physically good in the mean time.

>>18038750
I just realise she might not be smart enough to realise that love is an instinct with attraction as a factor

>>18038682
You do deserve it.

however, happiness, well true happiness, is not an easy mode thing.

Normies idea of happiness is fleeting, if thats what you want, its easy to achieve.

I'll give first the logical, rational view.

Lets use your word to check it out...
Deserve... Deserving is about justice... It's about a person who, for whatever reason, has the right over another thing.
But who can say who has the right for what thing, if the person itself doesn't understand it's own life completely, forgeting a lot of it or just not paying attention... The person itself can't, cuz he doesn't know the weight of his actions, he doesn't even remember all his actions.
From here we notice that: You don't know what you deserve, so there is no reason why you shouldn't feel deserving. And there is a reason why you should feel deserving... You want it! That's enough reason for try-outs, at least.

Now, lets go to the more emotional answer... Usually when we don't feel deserving, we are carrying a weight for something we did or didn't, sometimes it's conscious, sometimes not. There is probably a moment in your past that you felt this feeling for the first time, I don't know when, but you decided on that time that you were undeserving because of how you felt.
I'm saying it so directed at you because you said your mind goes against your will... So it's most likely an unconscious memory.

Continuing... Once you go back to that memory and change your interpretation, forgiving yourself for the choice you made, but realizing as an adult that that choice is no longer useful, it served it's purpose and should be discarded now, then so will the belief of undeservingness be discarded.

I want to highlight that it's the belief that holds you back, not necessarily the choice, but the belief that was built up and reassured by constantly choosing to follow the same path, the same choice. So... you should change the belief!

How to do that?... Well, there are many ways, the most useful one is through regression, which is done with a certificated psychologist. Can't help you with that, although I know the trick, I don't know all of it to tell you with safety. (continues)

>>18038684
>>You do deserve it.
Thank you anon, but how do I convince myself that? I'm very wracked about this.

>however, happiness, well true happiness, is not an easy mode thing.
I want this kinda of happiness, or even a consistent feeling of satisfaction in my life.

OP Here.
To add context:
I'd really love to just show get him fucking pissed. He's one of the guys who thinks he's always right. He probably has alot of complexes and because of that tries to build up his self-confidence by acting high and mighty. We have alot of mutual friends and they always tell me he's a moron. I had enough of defending him when he spits shit about me anyway, so i'd like to get out of his life with a boom.

>>18038674
What he do?

>>18038699
For starters, he feels like he has the right to point out to literally everybody that they have big egos. He will constantly talk how somebody's ego is big, but when you smack it back at him he gets super offended. He always acts like you try to offend him, acts arrogant etc. He'll talk to us only if he needs something. He knows alot of my friends, and sends them messages about stupid shit like "you shouldn't vaccinate" etc. He's so devoted to nationalism he won't see reason in any other way of thinking. Also, he flat out lies in anybody's face (caught him red handed, he tried to kiss my female friend, she ignored him, 5 minutes later he tried to his her best friend. Both told me about it, and he lied to me and my friend that he didn't do it). My girlfriend is doing her PhD right now, and when i told him what she's studying (sexual sociology) he started acting like that's retarded, even though he cant get his engineer's degree yet. I'm fucking done with his hypocricy, i just want to tell him to get the fuck out.

Why would you want to date one?

Extremely bad. Disrespectful and stupid.

>>18038667
She may date you. She may even have sex with you. But she's going to marry a guy within the church.

>>18038663

girls legit dont care how big your social life is. they dont say 'WOW ANON, YOUR SOCIAL LIFE IS 2% TOO SMALL, WHAT A FUCKING LOSER, IM NOT GONNA DATE YOU AND IM GONNA GO TELL EVERYONE ONTHE SECRET HOT GIRLS FACEBOOK GROUP TO LAUGH AT YOU :^) TROLOLOLOL'

>how does a guy know if hes ready to date women

assuming no emotional baggage from the last relationship, hes always ready. girls are not some homogeneously perfect species of beauty. they are just like men, all of them on some sort of 4 way graph chart of attractiveness, personality, desires, etc.

you see fat ugly people dating fat ugly people, and hot people dating hot people and everyone in between dating everyone in between. we usually play to our field and sometimes go a little further up or a little further down whatever scale were on.

if someone doesn't want to date, thats perfectly fine. they don't have to. im perpetually single and it is pretty fucking neato. but that doesn't mean im not 'ready' to date.

you are 'ready' you are just insecure. insecure has nothing to do with 'ready'.

>>18038669
Thanks for the response. How would I go about being less insecure, assuming that's really the issue?

>>18038696

>assuming that really is the issue

it really cant be anything else unless theres some secret past dalliance you're not over.

as for being less secure theres only two things to do
1) acknowledge the potential consequences
2) acknowledge your strengths.

the way you're at now you're insisting you are not good enough for ANY women when theres likely tons of women on your level who'd like you. you need to realize that there are no social consequences to trying to date and getting rejected. you fear rejection so you avoid it. but there's no reason to. a rejection is just a mismatch, its not a judgement of you as a person. if a girl says no it doesn't mean anythings wrong.

alphas/chads get rejected all the time. because they arent afraid of it, they know that they are still just as good as they always were no matter what a random woman says.

as for your strengths, acknowledge them. no ones perfect, and everyones on a sort of spectrum. whats most important is where you are and how much you improved. even if you're ugly you can admit that other women who look like you would likely still date you for your other strengths.

From my personal experience it's definitely not worth it.
It's very hard to be just a friend with a girl that you have\had interest in (or the other way around), it will be so much painful for you (and it's already is).
Even if you think she's just innocent and just really wants to be your friend because she cares abouts you and has fun talking to you (and none of that orbiting shit) it's not worth it.
Just become apathetic af when she's messaging you like answering her 2 days late or being a real bitch so she takes the hint and she will eventually stop.

Tell her that you like her but you too are to volitile together. If you dont give a reason she will end up bad-mouthing you to friends.
This is a lesson for all guys. Tell the woman or you will never have peace. Only betas who want to be alphas ghost if they have met the girl irl.

>>18040067
The thing is I've done that plenty of times before, giving short responses to her texts way after she sends them but she always contacts me again.
>>18040139
Yeah I'm gonna try and tell her today that we shouldn't be friends. I don't wanna hurt her but at the same time I think we're both hurting each other by trying to keep this up.

bring up my post

I know you won't believe me, but as someone who has a girlfriend, and knows how to talk to women, just ask her out.

If she likes you she will say yes, if she doesn't like you, there is literally nothing you can do to change that. Conversely, if a girl does like you, there is almost nothing you can do to drive her away.

Just ask her out, or you'll be her """"Friend"""" forever.

There are many answer of this question throughtout this /adv/... All you gotta do is see who asked the same thing.

You should firstly talk to her personally. Texting without the first contact my seem creepy.

How to talk to women? With confidence. How to get confidence on it? By talking to women is the best way, but you could also boost your own life, focusing on improving who you are and what you can do, how you dress... All that give confidence, but you'll only feel real confortable after doing it a feel times.

Think with me... If you play Counter Strike once, will you be real good?... You'll be shit. If you play it ten times, you'll have improved. 100 times? You'll be way better than the first time. 1000 times?... You are on your way to becoming a great player... It's the same, you need practice to actually do it good, to wear off bad emotions and wrong belief you have about the interaction.

If you've talked to her before, you can text her. I wouldn't ask anything though, I'd send her a picture of me or whatever I'm doing and show her I'm having a good time. No need for an answer. If she does answer, then I ask about her day.

Be firm and decisive in how you speak. Use concise terms. It's not autism and an image board can't diagnose you. Good luck.

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102KB, 789x665px

Are you me

>>18038939
Probably

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2MB, 3264x1836px

>>18038633
I think you have to talk to him to have a more accurate # of his income, his sexual activity, and awesome is subjective so that's up to you.

Hire a professional photographer. Hire the venue. Hire women off craigslist to pose with you.

>>18038639

i dont think youre gonna find these girls on craigslist but yea ... you're going want to reroll until you get a rich daddy OP.

You don't need a job to work, man...
Write something, draw, learn a new technique that can help you out on jobs...

You can find yourself a hobbie that involves making money (like hippie stuff or freelancer stuff)...
There are so many things you can do, you have so much free time... go develop yourself!! Read books.

>>18038559
think of something you depend on your life but you don't know how it works. Invest time in learning it's inner-workings while carrying the pre-conception that learning is insanity and will be unfun until you get good enough at whatever it is to feel good.

alternatively along the way stumble upon something that's even more interesting and branch off into that.

Find a hobbie

>>18038557
Books

By taking action is the only way to change yourself.

The actions you should take are pretty obvious: Talk to more people until you are confortable with holding a conversation with a stranger. You can start by just sayin "good morning" to a doorman or whatever people you cross everyday.

After that, you should start talking to girl like that. You can start by just asking simple questions ("Do you happen to know what time is it?") or commenting on the weather "Gosh, is it just me or God turn the heater on?"

You'll notice many of those conversations actually start flowing naturally, but the point here, again, is just to feel confortable doing it. You don't have to ask nobody out, you don't have to get nobodys phone number. If you do, great, a plus for you.

After you get more confortable talking with girls you don't know, theeeen you should start pushing youself to get numbers and ask them out.

PS -> You should set achievable goes and pat yourself on the back everytime you achieve them. Example: "I'll speak with a strange person today" at first. Once you do it, go eat something you love - as a reward for what you did. The next day "I'll speak with 2 different people today and try to discover what is their favorite meal" and once you do that, you go play that game you love - again, as a reward.

Remember this process is slow, but it's very rewarding. Make yourself walk the road on baby steps until you are confortable with the big jumps.

I'll leave some books here that might help you out:
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Awakening the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins.

Now a pickup program that might light up your path:
Blueprint Decoded (Real Social Dynamics Tyler Durden)
Actually, you can check out all of RSD on rsdnation website. MANY videos there to help you out on seduction.

>>18038596
OP here, thanks for the advice I'll definitely try to talk to more people. My problem is that I can easily talk to people I know, but I completely freeze up around strangers. Then again if I talk to more strangers, hopefully I'll get used to it, thanks.

I'll definitely check our those books thanks for the advice anon!! Btw I have more trouble talking to guys than girls since I'm a femanon. Then again I honestly get along better with guys once I have get to know them, all my female friends just do the have the same interest as me. Your advice is very much appreciated (:

>Wanting to hang out and watch 50 shades with a bunch of fucking married women

You make the right choice OP.

The right choice depends on your objective... Do you wish to befriend them? Then that wasn't the best choice... Do you wish to just do what you want? Then it was!

You see, right and wrong are veeery relative.

I myself was an introvert for long, now a days i'm quite talkative and expressive. I wouldn't pass those oportunities, like the one you had, because my goal was to open up!

So think about your goal. Are you fine being an introvert? I used to be, but then one time I realized I wanted to change...

But anyways, I do think you are beating yourself to hard for something that isn't so big. I do believe you should beat yourself just a little bit if you want to open up; but I don't think you should if you wish remain an introvert.

>>18038539
Also forgot to mention im a woman, if this changes context.

women like attention

>>18038521
>women like attention
Too much attention drives them away, especially early on. I don't want it to turn into me being her gopher at work.

>>18038516

Ask. Her. The. Fuck. Out.

Jesus Christ, dude. Quit your god damn pussy footing and behave like you have even an ounce of courage for fuck's sake.