Needy girlfriend. Or are all girls like them? Does this get better?

comment too long:

tldr: asian girl is needy and selfish (in my opinion), she has couple weeks off and I am super busy and I said I'll see her V-day instead of this sunday and now she is pissed off. I feel abused and annoyed.

>>18038701
>fobbish chinese girl
Didn't even need to read further, this is your problem. Complain about white girls all you want, but Asians don't even try to hide their materialism.

>>18038705
She's not materialistic at all dude. I know it's easy to assume things about her, but she's pretty cool even though she's fobbish chinese girl. She was basically raised in NY and her parents are VERY well off. So I can definitely say she is not materialistic. But goddamn she wants a hella lots of small cutesy shit (which I don't mind that much).

>>18038712
Materialistic, high maintenance, demanding. Same shit, different ways of dressing it up.

>>18038714
Ah I see. Then yeah, I agree she's high maintenance. I just want to know from other people's stories if what I got is pretty good or if I should dump her. I don't care for opinions or advice as I'm going to make the decision myself, but I would still want to hear them. What I would prefer are stories of similar situations.

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>>18038701

You're both way too young and way too busy for a mature, long-term relationship. Even if you both weren't bone-headed kids you still don't even have the physical time necessary to invest into a relationship.

This whole thing isn't working. Jump ship, kid. Neither of you have the time to navigate this hormonal bullshit.

>>18038722
Well from what you've said, it's not a one-off thing, it's recurring behaviour. Behaviour is difficult to change, so unless you're willing to put up with it for the indefinite future, I'd recommend leaving her. Even if she is on her period, that's no reason to be so demanding and treat your SO like shit. She's also 25, so it's not like her age is any sort of excuse.

>>18038732
I don't believe your advice holds any merit based on your comment. You're trying too hard.

>>18038701
>>18038722
Can you deal with high maintenance the rest of your life? I dealt with it a long time over two women and decided I couldn't, so I moved on. That's effectively the choice you need to make, whether it ends up with you solo or another woman later down the line. If you're competent I'm sure you will. Needy women take a special kind of soul and some of us aren't the one for them either.

>>18038732
They're in their mid 20s. The problem isn't crazy hormones.

>>18038745
Bro I gave him one, don't feed him more D:

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>>18038740

>I don't believe your advice holds any merit based on your comment. You're trying too hard.


You asked for advice and then I gave it. I don't give a shit how much merit you think it has. If you were at all skilled at delegating merit you wouldn't be hear asking stupid questions you already know the answers to. It is definitely a pattern of human behavior to dismiss any information that contradicts what you already believe to be true so I understand why you'd think that.

You're a kid. Kids such at relationships. You're both also insanely busy. Being a kid + having no free time = shit relationships. Its not a difficult conclusion to come to.

I'm sorry that I'm not volunteering to be your echo chamber and validate you for thinking that everything going wrong in your relationship is her fault but if you want someone to stroke your hair and only tell you shit you wanna hear then you should of ran to mommy, son.

But, whatevs. Stay in a relationship with the girl you're on the internet talking shit about. Doesn't bother me none. Good luck bruh.

>>18038755
Uh, that's not OP you're replying to...

>>18038745

You don't think kids in their 20's don't exclusively think with their sex organs and egos?

I'm in my early 40's son. Watching people in their twenties live their lives is like you watching preteens live theirs. Its a rite of passage. Nothing wrong with it.

>>18038755
Come on man.
>>18038759

Like I'm all for drunk advice, slap the kids in the face, but you're still trying way too hard. You need to calm yourself when you can't read or type words lil' nigga.

>>18038755
That's not me (OP) lol. I haven't said a thing yet.
>>18038732
Can you elaborate on your comment? Why do you think that way? Do you have any personal experiences that is founded on? Not being critical here, I just want to hear stories.

>>18038765
Same person as?
>>18038759
Anyways what do you mean by rite of passage? Are you saying that this kind of shit is what we all go through with?

>>18038740
Solid words dude. Thanks for sharing. I don't know. I want her to know and think that she is high maintenance, but she either won't believe me or just shrug it off kind of. She thinks being needy is a "good" thing.

I don't mind high maintenance since I'm good at ignoring (lol), but I don't want her to feel that I don't care or feel sad. Might be better for her in the long run for me to leave her, just for her own happiness.

It was a good point that I need to decide whether or not I choose now or never. I'm not sure if I'm that kind of special kind of soul so I don't know yet. I don't feel sad about ignoring her, but I feel sad when I know that it makes her feel sad.

one last bump before I go.

>>18038701
Is there anything good about her? And I mean genuine, specific things. Her being attractive and cool isn't enough because there's hundreds of attractive and cool girls out there who also aren't bitchy and high maintenance.

If you can't think of a single thing then dump her. You're still pretty young and don't need to settle.

>>18038701
I only see this problem with Chinese girls and especially fobbish. Why? Because:
1: the way their parents taught them and the culture they lived in was where the men need to do all the work. Men works, men making money, men pays bill, man buy high quality expensive accessories for women/girlfriends etc.
2: High maintenance. They need attention, they have an attitude where they need to be protected and spoiled.
3: Sometimes you saw them being immature despite their age. Don't blame them. Blame on the environment they grew up with.
4: Almost every Chinese people I know are all from well off money. So the women are all "comfort money" but still expect their partner to supply them everything they want to. Again I blame on the culture.

You can try another Chinese that was born in the state to see the difference. But I'm not guaranteed that there will be any different at all.

>>18039165
Yeah I can definitely think of multiple things that i genuinely like about her, excluding attractiveness and cool.

>>18039248
Yeah. It's weird with her because she was raised in the states but she still acts fobbish. I've met american born chinese girls that are not fobbish and her so I can tell the difference. Not fobbish girls are not as high maintenance. My gf's parents are pretty white despite both being born and raised in China until they came here. Thanks for the input guys.

>>18038701
leave stop putting up with that shit.

Not all girls are that needy. Many are, but if you're a decent person you can find one that isn't

>>18039368
>>18039483
Do these still apply even though she is a very busy person too? She values her free time off, but I feel like she could be the one to come see me instead of the other way around since I don't have as much time as she does. Better yet to just stay with me a couple days.