Don't deserve happiness

>>18038682
You do deserve it.

however, happiness, well true happiness, is not an easy mode thing.

Normies idea of happiness is fleeting, if thats what you want, its easy to achieve.

I'll give first the logical, rational view.

Lets use your word to check it out...
Deserve... Deserving is about justice... It's about a person who, for whatever reason, has the right over another thing.
But who can say who has the right for what thing, if the person itself doesn't understand it's own life completely, forgeting a lot of it or just not paying attention... The person itself can't, cuz he doesn't know the weight of his actions, he doesn't even remember all his actions.
From here we notice that: You don't know what you deserve, so there is no reason why you shouldn't feel deserving. And there is a reason why you should feel deserving... You want it! That's enough reason for try-outs, at least.

Now, lets go to the more emotional answer... Usually when we don't feel deserving, we are carrying a weight for something we did or didn't, sometimes it's conscious, sometimes not. There is probably a moment in your past that you felt this feeling for the first time, I don't know when, but you decided on that time that you were undeserving because of how you felt.
I'm saying it so directed at you because you said your mind goes against your will... So it's most likely an unconscious memory.

Continuing... Once you go back to that memory and change your interpretation, forgiving yourself for the choice you made, but realizing as an adult that that choice is no longer useful, it served it's purpose and should be discarded now, then so will the belief of undeservingness be discarded.

I want to highlight that it's the belief that holds you back, not necessarily the choice, but the belief that was built up and reassured by constantly choosing to follow the same path, the same choice. So... you should change the belief!

How to do that?... Well, there are many ways, the most useful one is through regression, which is done with a certificated psychologist. Can't help you with that, although I know the trick, I don't know all of it to tell you with safety. (continues)

>>18038684
>>You do deserve it.
Thank you anon, but how do I convince myself that? I'm very wracked about this.

>however, happiness, well true happiness, is not an easy mode thing.
I want this kinda of happiness, or even a consistent feeling of satisfaction in my life.

>>18038702
Gladly though, I know another way, which is quite intuitive and has been confirmed by my psychologist as a useful tool.

You pay attention to yourself so whenever the negative thoughts arrise in your head, you are aware of it, so you counter it with a positive thought. It can be the exact opposite, or just something that brightens it up.

Examples: You notice you started to think that "a girl is too pretty for me"... When you see the thought you rephrase it in your head "That girl is pretty, but there is no such thing as being too pretty for someone." or "Yes, she is pretty, and I'm a man of value, so there's no reason why she should be out of my league".

You see where this is going?... The point is to stop the circle reaction that starts your emotions... See, a thought generates an emotion, and the emotion generates a new thoughts, that generate another emotion... and so on, all on the same pattern. If you break the pattern by changing the thought, you'll also break the emotional pattern... And with enough practice, you will actually change your belief completelly. But you gotta BELIEVE in the positive thoughts you use, not just say it without actually seeing it's truth.

Such a long answer... lol.

>>18038706
>Thank you anon, but how do I convince myself that?

Treat yourself like youre a baby and your survivial and happiness depends on you.

You only exist for such a short amount of time, might as well make it good and enjoy it.

>I want this kinda of happiness, or even a consistent feeling of satisfaction in my life.

It's a long hard road which will involve changing how you view the world and will require tremendous effort until it becomes effortless.

Basically be kind to yourself, be kind to others

>>18038702
I think I've made many choices that have led up to this large, general feeling of undeservingness, not just one singular event. Maybe I can go back in my head and piece all of this together to do as you said.

>>18038717
>You pay attention to yourself so whenever the negative thoughts arrise in your head, you are aware of it, so you counter it with a positive thought. It can be the exact opposite, or just something that brightens it up.
I like this a lot, rationally because I've read/seen things that proved that when angry people, for example,stir in their anger and take it out on things as a form of release (like how I put myself down when seeing a nice person) they just amplify the emotion and get angrier, while people who don't dwell in catharsis become calmer. Emotionally I like this because this feels like a very nice way to combat my bad thoughts and feelings.

My only problem is that in certain situations I fear that I simply won't be able to find something positive to say, I'm going to try my hardest however and I'm very glad you shared all of this with me.

>>18038779
And there is no problem in feeling that fear. It's part of the change to actually own that fear and face it with courage. Just try it out, try not to think too much about it, just keep doing it whenever you remember.

I hope I helped you, and your welcome :D

>>18038724
>Treat yourself like youre a baby and your survivial and happiness depends on you.
>Basically be kind to yourself, be kind to others
I've always sat on the thought of treating myself like one would a very beautiful date and going somewhere nice, maybe I can try this and other small things once in a while to help myself feel less small and worthless.

>>18038786
I'll do my best, thank you again, I'm praying that this helps me.