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How does a guy know if he's "ready" to date women? And how does he know if he still has work to do before starting to approach and seek relationships?
I've been at this stage for a while where I feel like I'm not good enough. Usually if this comes up in conversation I just tell people I'm not ready. There's no one overarching reason, it's just little insecurities like not being fit enough, not having a clean enough apartment, not having a big enough social life. Obviously I should try to work on those things anyways but I spent the past few years establishing financial independence, figuring out who I am and what I want to do, as well as battling some depression and anxiety. So all the surface level grooming took a back seat until recently when I had more thoughts like "maybe I should get a gym membership" or "I think it's time to expand my social circle". People tell me I look fine and that I can be interesting/funny but that only goes so far because the inner me is still not satisfied.
I've been rejected by the past several women I asked out or otherwise was getting signs that they weren't interested, i.e. she started to date some other guy, or acted kinda turned off if the subject of things like relationships/dating came up in conversation. So I've got a hard time accepting the idea that I'm "good enough" since I can't win over the girls I like. But from other guys' experience, I'm wondering if this is just in my head, and if it's a matter of not meeting enough girls, or if I'm really just a boring asshole who needs to get it together before the kind of woman I want (not just anyone, I have standards) would like me in return.
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>>18038663
girls legit dont care how big your social life is. they dont say 'WOW ANON, YOUR SOCIAL LIFE IS 2% TOO SMALL, WHAT A FUCKING LOSER, IM NOT GONNA DATE YOU AND IM GONNA GO TELL EVERYONE ONTHE SECRET HOT GIRLS FACEBOOK GROUP TO LAUGH AT YOU :^) TROLOLOLOL'
>how does a guy know if hes ready to date women
assuming no emotional baggage from the last relationship, hes always ready. girls are not some homogeneously perfect species of beauty. they are just like men, all of them on some sort of 4 way graph chart of attractiveness, personality, desires, etc.
you see fat ugly people dating fat ugly people, and hot people dating hot people and everyone in between dating everyone in between. we usually play to our field and sometimes go a little further up or a little further down whatever scale were on.
if someone doesn't want to date, thats perfectly fine. they don't have to. im perpetually single and it is pretty fucking neato. but that doesn't mean im not 'ready' to date.
you are 'ready' you are just insecure. insecure has nothing to do with 'ready'.
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>>18038669
Thanks for the response. How would I go about being less insecure, assuming that's really the issue?
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>>18038696
>assuming that really is the issue
it really cant be anything else unless theres some secret past dalliance you're not over.
as for being less secure theres only two things to do
1) acknowledge the potential consequences
2) acknowledge your strengths.
the way you're at now you're insisting you are not good enough for ANY women when theres likely tons of women on your level who'd like you. you need to realize that there are no social consequences to trying to date and getting rejected. you fear rejection so you avoid it. but there's no reason to. a rejection is just a mismatch, its not a judgement of you as a person. if a girl says no it doesn't mean anythings wrong.
alphas/chads get rejected all the time. because they arent afraid of it, they know that they are still just as good as they always were no matter what a random woman says.
as for your strengths, acknowledge them. no ones perfect, and everyones on a sort of spectrum. whats most important is where you are and how much you improved. even if you're ugly you can admit that other women who look like you would likely still date you for your other strengths.
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>>18038703
>potential strengths
OK, I wouldn't consider myself ugly. Not a model but not ugly; in fact sometimes I look in the mirror and feel like I'm pretty handsome. I have improved my social skills since getting over my depression, even though I'm in this transitory phase where most of my old friends drifted off and weren't replaced with new ones. I have my own place and car, I have enough expendable income to take a girl out if it happened. I can make people laugh and I feel fairly talented and confident in a couple things, like my photography and my work ethic/disciplined lifestyle.
Still I get this nagging feeling that something is missing. Like I need more stuff, or better stuff.
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>>18038663
>How does a guy know if he's "ready" to date women?
Your pp will become hard & ready
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